Lover Desired
by EdwardsMuse0920
Summary: RE-POSTED. Rhage is a strong, reckless, and cursed warrior for the Black Dagger Brotherhood. Shailene is the King's sister and the Scribe Virgin's Promise of life to her vampire race. What happens when Rhage is put in charge of protecting that Promise? My version of Lover Eternal, minus Mary.
1. Chapter 1: Ahstrux Nohtrum

Chapter 1:_Ahstrux Nohtrum_

Wrath, Son of Wrath, sat in his pansy-ass study and tried not to throw everything on his desk into the wall.

The reason for his aggression was obvious. Shailene had gotten herself into trouble. Again.

His little sis was good at that kind of thing; always going against the rules he set and the lines he'd drawn in order to keep her safe. Always needing to prove that she could take care of herself. Always needing to contest him. Always.

Most days he approved of Shai for her assertiveness. She was the only person who didn't hesitate to tell things to him straight, and not pussy-foot around the issues. She stood up to him, put him in his place when he needed it, whether he thought it was necessary at the time or not. She knew how to calm him when he got "pissy" as she liked to call it. They knew each other better than anyone else. She was his sister.

And with that being said, didn't it make sense that he wanted her safe? It did to everyone else in his life. So why the fuck couldn't she see it? He knew the answer: she was just plain old difficult. It wasn't her fault. It ran in their pure blood line. Or so everyone said.

To Wrath, it was if she didn't see the full value of her life, she didn't realize exactly how important she was to those around her. She wasn't just a female vampire. She was a princess, one of the only two pure-blooded vampires alive today. She was a keeper to the Brotherhood, in charge of the races warriors, now that Wrath had ascended to the throne. The powers that she carried, powers different than the ones other vampires possess, marked her as the guarantee that the race would survive. The Promise.

Not to mention that she was one of the two things that kept him tethered to the earth. Other than Beth, Wrath's _shellan,_Shai was the most important thing Wrath had because for a very long time, she had been _all_he'd had. And she knew that. God damn it, she knew. So why was she so reckless with herself? Only God knew. Though Wrath knew her inside and out, there were times when her motivations confused and frustrated the living hell out of him

Again, Wrath had to fight off some very vile, yet strangely pleasant images of him polishing the shit that was on his desk off with one good swipe of his heavy arm.

For maybe the millionth time in his centuries-long life, he asked himself what he was going to do about his beloved, pain-in-the-ass sister.

Vital to his life, he had to find a way to keep her safe. When she'd shown up in his study about two hours ago with fresh cuts and bruises that even he, with his piss-poor eyesight could see, it took a lot of will power not to finish the job that the _lessers_had tried to do and not take her head off, himself.

She had been put through so much shit when it came to those fucking bastards. She had been kidnapped when she was just a young, maybe eleven years old, centuries ago. It had taken him two nights to find her; two nights of pure, tortuous, panic. Then later when she had been about a year out of her transition, still trying to get the hang of all the special abilities filling her body, she was taken again. And then years close to the same had followed. So he'd finally taught her how to defend herself, just as their father had taught him when he had been nearing his transition and then even after it had passed. Shai was a naturally good fighter to begin with and by the time he had taught her all he possibly could, she was a master at it, as good as any Brother. But it was nights like this when he sometimes thought that might not have been such a hot idea, not with her _going behind his back_ into the field to fight _lessers,_by_herself,_a fact that he had only found out about, about a month ago.

At that point he had screamed bloody murder at her.

What was he going to about her?

What she needed was twenty-four hour watch of the best warriors he could find, have them armed at all times when with her, ready to take a bullet for her if it came to that—

And Holy Christ! That was it! That was so fucking it. He knew how he could keep her safe. He also knew that she would fight him on this as if he were the races enemy. Another thing about Shailene that he both approved of and was completely strung out by was that she was just like him when they were talking personality wise. That was half the reason why they bumped heads like mountain goats, though he found himself more reasonable most of the time.

But it didn't matter if she didn't want what Wrath was about to do. She would refuse to take it but in the end she would have no choice. What Wrath was about to do was a royal decree and even the Promise wasn't able to escape.

It would be like a human female trying to move a grand piano all by herself, but eventually Shai would budge. Even if it took all night and day, Shai would give a little.

* * *

"C'mon Hollywood, that the best you can do, true?" Vishous taunted.

Rhage let out a nasty snarl and swung at his brother again.

He and the rest of the Brotherhood were in the training centre's gym, using the room for what it was for. They had been sparring for hours now, all of them taking turns, facing off different opponents, while Butch sat in on the benches like a good little human and refereed the matches.

Rhage and V were going at it but by this point it was more for fun than training. The brothers had been pounding each other in for hours now and it was all about the jokes now. Just for kicks and fucking giggles.

Besides, it's not like any of them really need the extra ass-kicking training. They were all masters at the hand-to-hand. Especially Rhage. He was the best. This was just to get his body back into the swing of things. This was the first time his body was starting to feel even remotely normal since three nights ago when his curse had taken over him, and his beast had been released.

As Vishous swung and Rhage blocked it, the other brothers whooped and hollered, having a grand ol' time watching the cage match.

"Alright, alright," Butch called. "You two nancies have been going at it for too long. I declare it is officially a tie."

"That's bullshit, cop," Vishous grunted. "I was planning my winning move. Just about to strike."

"Cry me a river. You two ballerinas looked more like you were about to break out into a Fosse number instead of finish this fight."

"I don't even want to know what how the hell you know what a Fosse number looks like," Rhage said.

"My sisters grew up in the dance world," he explained. "Sue me."

"Wow. Can you say 'pansy'?" Rhage asked.

"Listen here you—" Butch started his comeback, only to be shot down and cut off by the head of household _doggen,_Fritz.

"Excuse me, sires but I beg a moment of your time," he said, approaching the group of males.

"Sure, Fritz, what's up?" Tohr asked

"Master Wrath would like a word with you, Master Rhage," he informed them.

"Me?" Rhage asked like an idiot. _Um duh_. Who else here was named Rhage? "Right now?"

"Yes, sire. Now." The old man bowed and departed.

"Rhage, my man," Phury said on a chuckle. "What did you do?"

"Nothing. At least nothing comes to mind." Rhage tried to think it over quickly.

"That either means, A, you've done so much stupid shit that you can't call back any one specific thing," V suggested, "or B, you have finally admitted that inside that fat blond head, there really isn't a mind for anything to come to."

As the other brothers and Butch chortled at Vishous' joke, Rhage flipped him off.

"Well you should get your ass up there," Torhment suggested. "It must be important if 'my Lord' wants a private audience with you."

"True that." Rhage pulled on his shirt. "Later my brothers."

They all called their goodbyes as Rhage made his way to the tunnel.

By the time he made it to Wrath's study, he had wracked his brain, searched is head inside and out, and was pretty damned sure that he hadn't done anything to deserve a stern talking to from the king.

"My Lord," Rhage said in greeting as he entered the delicate study.

"Rhage, my brother." Wrath leaned back in his seat, putting his size fourteen shit-kickers on the desk, make it look even more inconsequential. "Took your sweet-ass time getting up here."

"That's because I was trying to figure out what I did to deserve a private talking to." Rhage pulled out the chair across on the other side of the desk and planted his ass down. "Gotta tell ya, I don't think I did anything."

"Oh I'm sure you have, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I want to talk to you about Shailene."

Rhage's eyes shot to him in surprise. "What about her?"

"She's been out fighting as, you know and I'm sure you also understand how much that—"

"-pisses you off?" It was kinda obvi. When it came to Shai, Wrath was as lethal as if she were his _shellan_ or his own young, which made sense if you thought about it. Wrath had had to raise Shai as his own when their castle had been attacked, pillaged, and then burned to the ground, their parents stuck in the inferno that had changed and ruined their lives all those centuries ago.

Wrath gave a small smile. "So you do get it."

"Of course."

"And would you help if you could?"

"You know I would."

"Good. I'm glad to hear that."

There was a long, slightly tense silence. Rhage was trying to work out what Wrath was saying and what he wanted. When Rhage came up blank, he finally had to ask, "What exactly is it that you want me to do here?"

"Shailene needs protection. She refuses to be careful with herself, and since I can't be the one to follow her around, and I can't tie her to her bed and lock her in her room for another six hundred years, I need another way to keep her safe."

"And I come into this... how?"

Wrath wasn't one to beat around the bush, but it still surprised Rhage when Wrath came out bluntly and said, "I want you to be Shailene's _ahstrux nohtrum._"

Silence.

Rhage sat there staring at the king, dumb-founded. Wrath wanted Rhage... What the hell? "But Shailene can take care of herself."

Wrath's eyebrows disappeared down behind his wrap-arounds. "Are you denying my request?" he demanded.

That tone of voice had Rhage backtracking fast. "No it's just... Shai is as good as any Brother when it comes to all forms of combat. And even if she wasn't, why would you choose me to do this? Why not Tohr or Phury?" Or anyone else. It seemed strange that Wrath would ask Rhage of all people. Everyone knew that Rhage was the most reckless of the Brothers. No one trusted him with much responsibility. And being Shailene's protector... well you might as well of asked to take responsibility of the continental United States.

"You're the first one that came to mind. And I need the best of the best for my sister, my Promise. That's you."

Rhage sat there, thinking over the implications of what Wrath was asking him to do. Being Shailene's _ahstrux nohtrum_ was something... huge. Something he couldn't even fathom.

Taking this job would mean a lot of time spent with Shai, obviously. And that wasn't exactly a bad thing. In fact, that idea wasn't bad at all. Shai was the most gorgeous thing he had ever set eyes on. She was strength and beauty incarnate, wrapped into a lovely feminine package. And it wasn't like every brother, except maybe Tohrment, wasn't half in love with her to begin with. She wasn't just any female. She was... amazing

But the problem was, what happened if he failed? If Shailene died on Rhage's watch, there were many laws that had to be followed, not to mention what Wrath would do him.

Rhage sat there like an idiot.

This time, Wrath was the one to break the stony silence.

"So... Rhage. What do you think?"

"Do I have a choice?" he asked, still completely head-fucked.

"Of course," Wrath said, sounding sincerely shocked. "The choice is yours. If you refuse, then I will go to someone else. After all, this is a big ass responsibility. A life-long responsibility. But I can't think of anyone else who would be better suited for Shai. And the time you spend with her may even be good for both of your asses." If Rhage didn't know any better he would have thought Wrath was arranging for them to be mated. _Like that was ever going to happen_. "But if you refuse, I will find someone else, though it'll really grind my gears, you feel me?"

"Shai will hate this," was all Rhage could say.

"It doesn't matter if it was you or a god-damned monkey that I get to protect her, she won't be happy. It just so happens that there're no monkeys available."

"And you really trust me to do this? You trust me with her life?"

"I wouldn't be looking at you right now if I didn't. Like I said, this is a huge as responsibility. I'm trusting you, so don't fuck it up." Wrath removed his feet from the desk, and leaned forward in his seat, forearms on his desk. "So will you do this for me? Will you do this for my sister?"

What choice did he really have? In the old language, he said "_It is an honor to be trusted with something so precious to you. I will protect the Promise with my life_."

Wrath got to his feet and Rhage followed. He held out his hand to Rhage and grasped it tightly in both of his. With his head bowed over their hands, Wrath said "Thank you, my brother. Thank you."

When Wrath let go of Rhage's hand, he looked at him with a satisfied smile on his face, like everything he wanted was setting into motion flawlessly.

"Now," Wrath said in a low voice, "prepare for your worst nightmare. Because you're the one who has to break the news to her."

"Ah shit. Do you value _my_ life at all? I can't protect her if she kills me first."

Wrath laughed in earnest and rested a hand on Rhage's shoulder. "God's speed, my brother. God's speed."


	2. Chapter 2: Rejected

Chapter 2: Rejected

Shailene stood in her closet, stretching out her sore, bruised muscles and locking up her weapons. She gave them an indulgent smile, as if they were real people and would smile back.

"We had a good run tonight boys," she said to them, thinking maybe she had finally lost it. She was talking to them as she would her warriors, the Black Dagger Brotherhood, with pride and approval and maybe even affection. "And Big Bad Bro wasn't so pissy tonight either, which is a bonus," she added, remembering the conversation she had had with Wrath just over two hours ago.

_That went well._

Wrath was getting used to the idea of her going out to fight in the field. Granted, she did get a furious glare from him when she showed up at his study with her freshest collection of bruises and scratches, but there hadn't been as much shouting and F-bombs tonight, and in her book that was some damn fine progress.

Wrath would just have to suck it up. She was not a young anymore, hadn't been one for centuries, and even though Wrath still looked at her that way—in fact she had it in good faith that he always would— he would have to stop treating her like one. Hell, he should have more faith in her abilities; he trained her himself, and God knew that Wrath was a beast in pretty much every sense of the term.

But to Wrath, she was the young female that he had held in his arms when she was just born, and fed when she was able to handle real food. He had chased her around their castle when she learned to walk and run, checked under her bed for any _lessers, _and held her hand at any royal parties that their father had put on. He still thought that she was the little female that he had saved from the closet of their burning castle: small, delicate, in need of constant protection. And okay, _maybe _in the past she had given him many-a-worry when it came to her safety, but that was old, dirty water under the dying bridge. She could take care of herself now.

She was the fucking Promise after all. The Scribe Virgin's promise of life to the race. Equipped with future-seeing, mind-reading, day-walking, danger-sensing power. Not to mention the healing abilities towards others and herself. And the other things she could do. Point was, she was perfectly capable of being on her own.

The only reason she hadn't told him at the beginning what she was doing was because she was afraid he would blow a fuse and go bat-shit crazy with rage. Which was _exactly_ what he had done. He had gone on and on about responsibility—which sounded sour in her ears coming from him seeing as it had taken him _centuries _to accept his birth right as king—and safety and recklessness—again, a little weird coming from him. "What the fuck are you thinking!" he had yelled, and "Why don't you use your brain!" he'd screamed, and "Do you understand what it would mean to the race if you died?" he'd shouted. Then he'd gone off about her being selfish because putting herself in this kind of danger could mean taking herself away from him and the race. And though the former was sweet and whatever, the worry behind it was also unnecessary. The problem was that she bought too much into the "Promise" propaganda, like the rest of the race.

Shailene on the other hand, didn't much believe it. She didn't believe that if she died an untimely death it would mean the end of the vampires. Her race was of the proud, strong and fierce. They would survive even if she didn't.

But when Wrath's rant had finally ended, he had looked so...hurt. Betrayed, almost.

But what-the-hell-ever. She refused to feel guilty about living her own life. Wrath had a nasty little habit of making her feel guilty when things were _so _not even her fault. But not this time. She was not going to feel guilty. She wasn't. She was not...

Ah, hell, but she was. _Damn it_.

Shaking her head, she locked up her blades and guns, grabbed a black, silk robe and left her closet, ready to feel the hot steam and spray of her shower—

A knock on her door interrupted her in her quest to the bathroom.

"Come in," she called, an impatient sigh following.

As if she didn't already know who was disturbing her, the blond hair and massive shoulders of Rhage was a surprise. What would he want form her? She had done all she could to ease his discomfort three nights ago when his beast had come out of him, and he looked pretty much back to normal, his belly back in its rock hard formation, that gold tone returning to his skin. He looked perfect.

Not that she noticed.

"M'lady," he said with a bow of his head.

"It's Shailene," she corrected him, a small smile coming into place. "You look good, healing up perfectly."

"Yeah, you're a miracle worker," he said.

She gave a small laugh. "So I've been told. Is there something you need?"

He hesitated and there was silence. And more .And more. It was awkward because he refused to look at her, choosing instead to look at all the other things in the beautiful room. Just when she was she was about to either tell him to put on his big boy pants and spit out what he needed to say, or rummage through his mind to figure it out, he opened his mouth and told her.

"He wants you to _what_?" she screeched.

He winced like she had hurt him. Like she gave a fuck. "Be your _ahstrux nohtrum," _he repeated.

"No. No way in hell. Not happening," she thundered.

"That's what I thought you'd say."

"Why is he doing this? I don't need to be protected! I can take care of myself, damn it!"

"Not according to Wrath," Rhage said.

Shailene couldn't even speak, she was so far gone. In fact, her vision was tinged red with the degree of her anger. Had he lost his mind? Had he completely gone mental? An _ahstrux nohtrum? _Why? She understood that Wrath was worried, hell she had been too when he had gone out to fight. And they were brother and sister, so it made sense. But to do something so controlling... Over her life? Not going to fly. Someone was getting their ass kicked.

She pegged Rhage with a frosty glare "Where is he?" she bit out.

"Ah, in his study."

She threw away her robe, her anticipation for a shower erased and replaced by something far more dangerous. She started for the door, grabbing Rhage's arm in the process. "Let's go."

* * *

Rhage followed helplessly as Shailene dragged him from her room, across the hall and down the stairs until they got to Wrath's study. Aw, shit, this was exactly what he was afraid of. Shailene was furious, and though she herself was beautiful, this side of her wasn't pretty. She was beyond mad and he knew that if she had her way, the theme song of the night would be "Heads Will Roll".

When they got to Wrath's study, the rest of the Brotherhood was there, talking about the rotation schedule for the next night. It was nearing dawn now and it was about time for everyone to head to their respective rooms, V and Butch to the Pit, and Torhment to his mated house with his _shellan,_ Wellsie, but with the mission that Shai was on, the three of them, Wrath, Shai and him, wouldn't be getting to bed for hours.

When they entered the room, everyone fell silent and Wrath sighed, probably sensing the male-storm that was about to hit. The anger that Shai was feeling was like a visible, tangible aura and you'd be damn smart to avoid Shai like the plague when she got this way. The temper thing must have something to do with their pure blood line. Shailene was the more tranquil one out of the two and it took more to get her upset, but when she did? Well _shit_.

"What is this?" she demanded from Wrath, gesturing to Rhage.

"This is Rhage, and you are Shai, and I am Wrath," he explained, as if she were a five year-old, which was funny because Shailene was probably one of the smartest people to walk this earth.

"Not that I don't love playing the name-game with you, Shailene," he continued, "but I'm really not in the mood for the bullshit, so could we get to the point?"

"_You're _not in the mood the bullshit? _You'r_e not?" The laugh she let off was hard, incredulous, and slightly hysterical. "Don't _even _get me started."

Rhage watched as she paced back and forth across the study, appearing to collect her thoughts in the uneasy silence.

"What exactly were you thinking when you assigned Rhage to be my _ahstrux nohtrum_?" she demanded.

The Bothers in the room a started talking at that, until Shai shot them a stony glare and they all shut their pie holes.

"I was thinking I was doing what's best for you." He sounded incredibly exhausted.

Well too bad for him, because Shai was just getting started. "_What's best for me_? Are you crazy?" she shrieked. Everyone but Wrath winced. She took a deep breath. "Don't you dare do this to me."

"And what exactly am I doing that's so awful?" Wrath shot back, his voice hardening to match hers. "The only thing I want is for you to be safe. But since you never listen to a damn word I say, I've made it my business to make sure you're kept safe."

Shai seemed to sputter over her words, and then turned to the other brothers. "All of you out. _Now_."

_Roger that._ Rhage couldn't think of any blessing better than leaving the room and was quick to high-tail it—

"You stay," Shai said, clearly meaning him. Damn it.

When the room was empty, Shailene started again, her voice more calm, but still spitting more venom then a rattle snake in attack mode. "Where do you get off making these decisions for me? I am not your subject, I am your sister."

"Look, you wanna risk your life? You wanna fight those bastards? Be my guest. I only made it so you have some extra backup when things get hot out in the field."

"But I don't need—"

"The hell you don't," Wrath thundered, getting to his feet. "Everyone needs backup when fighting. That was one of the first things I taught you. Everyone. Especially you."

"Why, because I'm a female?"

"No, because you're my sister. Now start using your head and stop being so damn stubborn. This is the way it is now, so deal with it."

Shailene, in typical Shai fashion, stood her ground. "Who the _hell _do you think you are?" she growled.

"I _think _I'm your mother fucking king," he answered. "And I think I'm your brother."

They stared each other off at that, seeming to be having a silent conversation, and Rhage would have given his arm to leave now.

He tried not to be personally offended that she was so against having an _ahstrux nohtrum_. Was it really that bad being protected all the time? Or was it just him that she wanted away from? She would probably be better off with Phury or Tohrment or Vishous. God knew she got along with them better. And if that was the case, then Rhage felt like he'd been two-by-foured.

Wrath broke the little staring competition. He sighed and pushed his wrap-arounds up onto his forehead so he could rub his eyes. "Shai, don't be mad."

"Then take it back."

"I can't."

"You won't."

"This isn't bad at all. You can still go where ever you want, you can still fight. Rhage will be there help you when you need it."

"Well I don't need it." She turned to Rhage, finally acknowledging him. "Sorry, it's not you. But I don't need a twenty-four/seven body guard with a licence to kill. So Wrath" she said, going back to her brother, "take it back. The gesture's been rejected, denied, returned to sender. I don't want it."

"Too bad."

"I'm not a young, nor am I a wine glass. I'm not going to break so easily."

"Let's not find out, shall we?"

"Wrath—" she started.

"So you don't want an _ahstrux nohtrum_? Okay. How do you feel about _sehclusion?"_

Shai's mouth dropped open. And then she said, almost so quiet that she would be the only who could hear, "I can't even look at you." And with that she turned to leave.

Wrath sighed. "Shai—"

"_Don't_ talk to me." The door slammed.

Wrath crumpled into his chair, the delicate thing creaking under his bulk, him looking murderous.

"My Lord—" Rhage started.

"Sometimes that female makes me mad enough to punch a hole in every wall in this fucking place."

"She'll come around."

"She doesn't have a choice," he growled. But then he sighed and rubbed his eyes again. "Do you think you can talk to her?"

"Other than you, I'm sure I'm the last person she wants to talk to."

"Why is she always so god-damned difficult?"

"She learned from the best," I muttered.

Wrath laughed. "I guess she did."

Rhage left at that, and headed straight for Shailene's room, feeling like he should apologize. He never meant for her to get so upset and he felt that it was his doing somehow.

Before he could even knock on her door, she called out "Come in, Rhage."

She was pacing around her room, possibly too angry to stay in one place.

Rhage tried to think of what to say to make her feel better. "I'm—" he started.

"Don't apologize," she interrupted. "I'm the one who should apologize to you. This is not your fault. Wrath is the controlling asshole with a brain complex. I'm sorry for being such a bitch." She rambled.

"Don't worry about it," he mumbled.

All of a sudden she just crashed on the bed, as if too exhausted to keep moving. Maybe she finally burned off her anger like an old stove burns wood: hot when it really gets going, but when the wood is all gone, there's no more energy.

"Look Shai, Wrath is only trying to protect you. Maybe he's smothering you a bit, but it's with good intentions. "

When she looked away, he went to sit beside her on the bed, hoping to catch her attention, and keep it.

Yeah, not such a good idea. Sitting so close to her, he could see every wave of that midnight hair, and just how flawless her skin was, and that her eyes looked like pale green diamonds. Holy hell, she smelled good. Like raspberries.

"Hey, it could be worse. You could be under _sehclusion." _She nodded once in agreement. "Or, you could have Wrath as your _ahstrux nohtrum_."

She laughed in one short burst and then sighed. "I guess you're right. I could do a lot worse than to have you as my loyal protector." She smiled and took his hand in hers. He hoped she didn't notice how he lit up like a supernova at the contact. Her skin was so smooth... And there was something else. Something he felt internally, like an easing going through him.

"Anyways, thanks for coming to say sorry. It means a lot." Her voice made the feeling even more prominent. He hoped she wouldn't let him go. And as if reading his mind-which was a real possibility- she leaned her head on his shoulder.

Rhage had to clear his throat "No problem," he said to her.

What the hell was going on? The feelings coursing through him were so unfamiliar. He hadn't felt this kind of soft tranquility since... well since forever actually. Well not since over one hundred years ago, before his curse came to him. But with Shailene's hands wrapped around his and her slim body pressed against him, well he felt like he was being stroked from the inside out. So...peaceful.

"I need a shower," she said, disengaging herself from him and the absence of her body was a strange shock.

Rhage made his way to the door at the same time she made her way to the shower. Just before she was about to disappear into the bathroom, he said, "Shai?"

She looked at him, politely inquiring him. _Oh man, those eyes_...

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" I asked her.

She laughed in earnest then, her earlier anger all but forgotten. Good. He liked making her smile. Made go all big dog in the chest.

"I'm not sure," she mused, "but whatever it is, it'll be with you." She gave him a one last smile before slipping into the bathroom.

* * *

"She'll come around," Beth said to her mate, as she prepared herself for bed for the day.

She was doing her best to calm him. He was stressed, strung out, and pissed off. She was running out of things to say, which usually happened fast when Wrath got into one of his moods. Thankfully she always had another way to distract him. If all else failed, her body always made and excellent trump card.

It seemed that they were having these conversations more and more lately. Ever since everyone had found out about Shai's little extracurricular activities, Wrath had been at the end of his rope. "Pissy" was what Shai called it. Made sense that she would have a name for a mood that she always seemed to be putting him in. "Royal pain in the ass" was what Wrath called her.

Brothers and sisters. They really were pains in the ass aren't they? Oh well, what are you going to do?

"I don't know," Wrath muttered from the bed. "I've _never_ seen her so pissed. God knows we've bumped heads before, but she's never looked at me that way before."

Beth turned around to look at her mate. He'd taken his wrap-arounds off, so she got a clear view of those beautiful iridescent green eyes. In those eyes, she'd seen love, anger, strength, kindness. In those eyes she'd seen the resolve to make the tough decisions that were a king's responsibility. Making Rhage Shailene's _ahstrux nohtrum_ was just one of those hard choices.

"She has to understand that you were only thinking of what's best for her."

"Damn straight."

"And she may be hard-headed," Beth added, "but she's not stupid. She'll see that it was with good intentions."

He was silent for a moment. Then finally he said, "Do you think I did the wrong thing?"

"You're asking my opinion on a royal decree?" she asked with a small chuckle.

She actually managed to get a smile out of him. A small one, but whatever. "You are the queen."

She didn't exactly agree with what Wrath had done, but she understood where he was coming from. Shailene was one of the two things that Wrath loved more than oxygen in his own lungs, the other being her of course. He was just protecting her. Beth understood that.

"I think Shai is very stubborn. And I think that because of that you were doing the only thing you knew how."

"'Stubborn' doesn't begin to cover it. Trying to get her to do something is like trying to move the Great fucking Wall of China."

Beth laughed again. "Stubbornness must be something that runs in the blood line. Along with temper."

"Excuse me?"

She walked over to the bed and got good and comfy beside her _hellren_. "You and Shai are so much alike. No wonder you don't get along."

"What are you talking about?" he demanded, and his shock and obliviousness made the urge to laugh even stronger. "_I _listen to reason. _I _don't put up a fight for every damn thing."

Beth gave him a look as if to say _are you serious?_

"And I don't always have to be right," Wrath added

At that Beth actually let out a hard burst off laughter.

"What?" he demanded, a small amount of annoyance coming into his voice.

Beth did her best to control herself. The last thing she wanted was for him to get "pissy" again. "You truly are blind if you think that you and your sister have none of that in common," she said.

"I know we're alike. Sometimes. But I'm not so god-damned hard to deal with," he grumbled.

"That's not what the Brothers say."

"Remind me to kick all of their asses later."

Beth laughed then got back to the point. "You and Shai are used to running the world. You're used to getting what you want done done, and you're used to being in charge. So when things don't go either of your ways, you both get upset, especially when those things are each other," she finished. "I've noticed that."

"Have you," he said, that small smile back on his harsh, beautiful lips.

"Yes I have."

"Does that bother you?"

"Not at all. It's who you both are. And I love you both."

He gave a small laugh. "How did I end up with you, _leelan_? You're amazing."

"I guess you just got lucky."

"No, lucky is what I'm about to get."

She laughed at his crudeness and slapped his chest. All other thoughts disappeared as his lips came down on hers.


	3. Chapter 3: Initiation

**DISCLAIMER: These characters are not mine, no matter how much I wish they were. Only one character is mine. That is all.**

Chapter 3: Initiation

As night approached and the rest of the household came awake for the night, Rhage continued on with the reverie that had been on his mind since early, early morning. He hadn't gotten much sleep because of it. He couldn't stop thinking about Shailene and his new responsibilities.

He knew how the _ahstrux nohtrum_ thing worked. From now until the day that he could no longer fight, he was Shailene's official bodyguard, his first priority her. He would lay his life down in front of hers, risk everything to protect her. That was the way things were going to be. For the rest of their days.

But it's not like he wouldn't have done all this anyway. She was the Promise, after all. And seeing as he was a Brother, it was a given that he would always protect her.

But even if she wasn't who she was, he would still lay his life down before hers. She was Shailene. There was something about her that made him feel... something. When she was around, he wanted to be a better male, a better person. When she smiled at him with that approving, somewhat affectionate smile, it felt like someone had stuck a light bulb in his chest; he shined from the inside out.

And the way her touch had felt and what her voice had done to him last night. It was like nothing he had ever known. Her voice, when not screeching at her brother or anyone else, was soft and gentle and so... He didn't even know how to describe it properly. But whatever it was, add that with her touch? He could only think of it as intoxicating, maybe even overwhelming. But in the best way possible. And as much as it made him sound like a nancy, she made him feel safe. It also made him feel like she had total control over him. And that scared him, thrilled him, unnerved him, satisfied him. Made him _feel_, something he had been having trouble with since he'd gotten that damned cures all those decades ago. The only thing he ever really felt was pain. Pain and discomfort, and aggravation, and restlessness, and sometimes out of control. It was all because of the beast.

But Shai made him feel more. And he loved that she could do that to him. He loved-

"Yo, Rhage." That was Vishous on the other side of his door. "Let me in."

Rhage opened the door with his mind. And when V stepped in, Rhage was a little pissed at the interruption.

"A simple 'can I come in' would have done perfect, my brother," he grunted at V.

"Whatever. Wrath wants your ass in his study for the tats to be done. Now."

Rhage sighed, a small smile creeping onto his puss, which he did his best to hide from V. "Gimme a minute."

As Vishous got to steppin', and Rhage was left on his own, he couldn't help the anticipation going through him. He was going to be Shailene's _ahstrux nohtrum_. The person entrusted with her life. All that time spent together...

He was on his way to the study, when Shai came out of her room. She wasn't dressed in anything remarkable, just a form fitting pair of jeans and a white button down.

She looked amazing.

"Hey." She stopped when she saw him, a big, wide smile on her face.

He couldn't help the smile that spread across his face at just the sight of her. She was so beautiful with that smile.

Suddenly, he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to make it to the study. He felt weak in the knees.

"Hi," he replied. His voice was mostly gravel.

"On your way to his royal ass-holiness? Me too. Wanna go together? Great."

He laughed at how forward she was. Just one more thing he found so attractive about her.

"You excited?" she asked in a sing-song voice.

He shrugged. "Maybe a little. You?"

She shrugged now. "Maybe a little." That gentle laugh sounded again. "Actually I've gotten used to the idea. No matter how much I fight him, he won't budge. So, just this once, I'll let him have his way and go with the flow."

"Wow," he said, feigning incredulity. "Wrath would be so proud to see you being so... reasonable."

She pushed at him playfully. Even then her hands on him gave him goose bumps.

They got to Wrath's study, and it wasn't just Wrath in there. Beth, Wrath's _shellan _and the queen, was there as well as Vishous.

Shai greeted Beth first. "Hey, Beth." The two of them embraced and then she mock punched V in greeting. "Hey V."

Then it was time for her to face Wrath. But she didn't. She looked just off from his face, avoiding his eyes. Or rather his wrap-arounds.

"Wrath," she said briskly.

Wrath sighed.

There was a stony, awkward silence as the unresolved anger between the royal siblings raged on, about as strong as it had been the night before.

Rhage was the one to break the silence. "So can we get this show on the road? I'm about jumping out of my skin with anticipation. You ready, V?"

"All set up," he replied.

"Let's do this, then," Wrath muttered. "Rhage you know how this works."

Indeed he did. He looked to the desk where the items of his initiation as Shai's _ahstrux nohtrum_ were. The chain with her hers and Wrath's regal crest hanging from it. A pair of pliers. The tattoo equipment. The paper work.

"Sitcha ass down, boy," Vishous instructed.

The chair from behind Wrath's desk, which had been moved to the center of the room, groaned as Rhage dropped himself into it. Vishous came up behind him and linked the heavy chain around his neck. It fell just be

-+low his collarbones. He felt the separate chill of the pliers' metal clamps on his neck as the links were squeezed together permanently. The only way this chain was coming off was if he got fired, which would only happen if Shai died- not an option- or if Wrath was less than pleased with his performance. There was another way for the chain to come off and it involved Rhage's heart and it ceasing to beat.

"Alright, time for your tat," V said.

Rhage turned around to face V and instantly heard the whirring sound of the needle as it neared his face. He knew where this was going to happen. And he knew it was going to hurt. But he was excited. The only tattoo he had was the multi-coloured one that covered his back and that tattoo pissed him off. That tattoo was an exact depiction of his ugly-ass beast.

"Ready?" V mocked.

Rhage grunted. "Just do it." And as he said it, Shai came to stand beside, her hand laid gently on his shoulder. He sighed with satisfaction.

He was right about the pain, but the needle on his face wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been, and certainly wasn't the worst he'd faced. He knew what was getting inked on his skin: a single read teardrop outlined in black. Such a tiny thing, but its significance was everything.

It symbolized that Rhage was willing the shed his own blood for Shai. It was there for everyone in their world to see what his position was. And if Shailene died, then that black outline would become the whole teardrop to show that he served and protected a person of importance with honour and pride. But if this whole thing didn't work out, then it would be boxed in and X-ed out, there so that whole race would see his shame at his failure.

Not that Rhage was worried about that. There was no way he was failing at this, and not just because the person he was assigned to just happened to be the guarantee of the race's survival. It was because it was Shai.

He had never felt more determined in his life.

"And we... are... done," V said as he finished.

A mirror was brought around so Rhage could see what had been done to his puss.

Rhage had to clear his throat and still his sounded as if his voice box was being inhabited by a bunch of small rocks. "I like it."

And he couldn't even express how true that was. The only thing that was printed on his skin was that damned reminder of what he would kill to get rid of. But this new addition to himself was something to be worn with honour, with pride. It was something that symbolized his connection to Shailene. And that meant everything.

But he couldn't say all that. Not if he didn't want to look like a total pansy in front her, and his brother, and the king, and the queen.

So, in as much of an indifferent voice as he could manage, he said, "It looks good."

"Of course it does," Vishous barked. "It's my work, true."

"You did good, V." Shai walked to around to face Rhage and crouched so that they were at the same eye-level. What those eyes could to him...

"You're actually good for something," she finished, either oblivious to the effect she had on him, or really good at acting like she didn't noticed. And knowing Shai and all she could perceive with just a quick glance at something, he was willing to bet it was the latter.

"Considering all the times I tatted you? You should already know that."

Shai laughed and the sound pierced Rhage right though his heart, all the way to his spine. Her raspberry scent assaulted him.

"Fair enough," she replied. Then her attention was back on Rhage. "You look great, just the way I expect my _ahstrux nohtrum_ to look," she said in a playfully curt way.

"I am proud to please you, M'lady," he replied, formal as all get out.

She smiled an indulgent smile, then walked past Wrath, as if he wasn't even there, to the desk where the paper work- outlining Rhage as _ahstrux nohtrum_ to the Promise Shailene, blooded daughter of the king Wrath, blooded sister to the new king Wrath, and all that entailed.

"So the paperwork is all done," she stated.

"Yes," Wrath said briskly. "Beth was kind enough to do it. I would have gotten you, Shailene, as the Brotherhood's CFO and the one in charge of the paperwork shit, to do it, but you were busy being a an ungrateful brat. Not to mention an ever-present pain in my ass."

Shailene turned to Beth, and in a voice that was falsely sugary-sweet and clearly meant for Wrath, said, "Beth, I'm sorry to have inconvenienced you so."

Beth sighed, clearly unhappy with the hostility between the two of them. And frankly, so was Rhage.

"Keep up with the attitude," Wrath said harshly. "It's real attractive."

Now she glared at him. She _really_ glared at him.

"Kiss. My. Ass. Wrath," she spat at him.

He jabbed a finger at her, began stalking toward her. "You listen to me-" he started in a growl.

"That is enough." That was Beth's voice. She sounded angry and fed up, and frustrated. "Stop this bullshit right now."

Dead silence.

And in it, Rhage could only think about how he agreed with Beth. This was absolute bullshit. They, Shai and Wrath, should not be fighting.

Wrath was the one to break the silence. "We're done here."

And that was everyone's cue to get gone.

Everyone was making their way to the door, when Wrath's voice sounded again. "You're not going anywhere."

It was clear who he was talking to.

Shailene sighed and turned to Rhage. "I'll meet up with you at First Meal."

Rhage wanted to argue. He wasn't sure leaving the two of them alone was such a good idea. And it must have shown on his face because she smiled reassuringly at him.

"Go on," she urged, voice and expression confident.

So Rhage went about his business, but his head was still in that study. He knew that Wrath and Shailene were about to get into it, and he wanted to referee the match. But since that was not possible at the moment, he did the best he could do, which was pray to the Scribe Virgin that they didn't end up having to evacuate the house because on the track that Wrath and Shai were on, it seemed they were going to burn it down.

* * *

Shailene stood across the study and carried on with the stare-down competition she was having with her brother. She was still so pissed at him that she could barely breathe. But she was the one who spoke first.

"I won't apologize."

"No, why would you?"

"I don't know what you want from me," she said in a rush. "If you think I'm going to be okay with you dictating my life, then you have your head up your ass. I thought you knew me better than that."

"I expect you to be reasonable," he said quietly.

Her voice came out of her in a burst. "_Reasonable! _About what? You are trying to control me!"

"And you have left me no choice!" he boomed, and she had the urge to recoil from him, but she fought it and stood her ground.

Wrath continued, his voice still sounding like he was talking through a megaphone; it was stunningly loud in the relatively small room. "_You _are the one who's been fighting those bastards for God only knows how long, _without _backup. _You _are the one who insists to keep putting her life in more danger than it initially is. So_ I_ am the one who has to make like the bad guy and make the hard decisions to protect you."

"Oh, protect me, protect me," she said, with a roll of her eyes and sounding exasperated, as if she'd heard it a thousand times and was tired of it. "You are always protecting me. What do I have to get through to you? You don't need to protect me anymore."

Wrath's voice got impossibly louder. "The fuck I _don't_!"

This time Shai did stumble back with her hands over ears.

There was more silence after that and Wrath sighed, all the anger drained out of him. "Shai, you don't get it."

"Don't get what?" she mumbled, looking away from him. The way his voice sounded now, so tired and hopeless, made her feel guilty. Again with the guilt that he _always_ seemed to fill her with no matter what conflict was going on between the two of them. It didn't matter how hard she tried. She was never able to stay emotionally detached from her brother.

"You don't get how much you mean."

"If you're talking about the race, I know exactly what mean to them." She started pacing as she spoke "I'm one of the last two pure-blooded vampires on the Earth. I'm the Promise. They think that I'm some sort of insurance, that me dying—"

"I'm not talking about the race."

She stopped moving as she heard the new tone in Wrath's voice. Now it was passionate in a different way. And when she looked at him, she saw that he had taken off his wrap-arounds and she had a clear view of the eyes that she saw so many times in the mirror when looking at her reflection, but so few times where it really mattered to her, which was in his face. They were so beautiful there, on him. Their mother had had those eyes...

"I'm talking about me. You don't understand what you mean to me." His voice was gruff as he said this and she knew it was because he had a hard time getting emotional. He preferred to be stoic, or that "tight in the head" crap those stupid, macho males that she lived with tried pull. "You're my sister and you mean the world to me. You don't understand how much I need you to be okay. It's not because of the race. I want you to be safe because I need you and I love you. The race is the last thing that comes to mind when I'm thinking about you're safety."

Shai's vision became very blurry, and she tried to "stay tight". Tears would only make him more uncomfortable.

"As a king, that's a very bad thing to say," she mumbled.

"But still true."

"Now you're just trying to soften me up."

"Is it working?" he asked, a small smile on her face.

"Maybe a little," she said, not looking at him.

"Look, Shai, maybe I went about it the wrong way-"

"I'll say," she muttered.

After a very brief pause, he continued. "But it was the only way I could see. And you hating me is not something I'm okay with."

"I don't hate you, Wrath," she said. "As much as you piss me off sometimes, I can never get myself quite that mad."

He laughed quietly. "I need you to be okay."

"I am okay," she said, getting closer to him. "And I will be."

"That's what I'm hoping for."

There was a short silence, and then he said, "Will you please just give the idea a chance?"

"I guess I could," she grumbled after a moment, looking away from him, conceding with poor grace.

He came so close to her that they were only inches apart. He took her hands in his and kissed them both. "Thank you, sister mine. Thank you."

She stared up at him, seeing his near blind eyes, him in his most vulnerable state, and all her anger evaporated. He was once again the bother who had always been there for her, and who still was.

She couldn't resist the urge to hug him anymore. "Oh Wrath," she all but cooed, and wrapped her arms around him.

He stiffened and cleared his throat a few times. Then, in perfect Wrath fashion, he said, "C'mon now. You're making me look all sloppy and shit."

"I thought you were done being a jerk," she said into his chest. "Besides, no one's here but us. Just you and me."

"True." His arms wound around her in what could only be described as a bear hug. "I love you," he murmured to her.

"You make it really hard to stay mad at you," she muttered and she felt more than heard the laugh that went through him. She burrowed closer into him and whispered, "I love you too."

* * *

**I hope you like my story so far. To all those who are reading this story, I wanna hear from you. Whether you hate it, love it, have any ideas, please comment. The comments make me want to write more.**


	4. Chapter 4: New World

**This is my story, but these are not my characters. The only thing that is mine is Shailene, and I love her. Well, Shailene and the bad mark I got on my biology test this week, which I don't love so much :(**

Chapter 4: New World

By the time First Meal was done and over with, Rhage was almost positive that things between Wrath and Shailene had been fixed. They came in the dining room together, all chummy, as if there had never been a fight.

That was quick, Rhage thought.

He was happy to see them okay with each other again, but he wasn't very surprised. Wrath and Shai were so much alike, and the biggest thing they had in common? They loved each other.  
And Shai had him totally wrapped around her finger. Wrath could be so angry at her, that the heat of his fury could melt the paint off the walls, but Shai could always talk him down to the point where he was cool as a summer breeze.

It was one hell of a talent.

"So all is well again?" he asked her as they headed up the stairs.

"Yep. We are all good." She sounded perfectly happy, like everything in the world was perfect.

That's what he liked to hear.

"So..." he started.

"So... what?"

"So what are we doing tonight, M'lady? You are the boss of me now."

Her laugh was like wind chimes, and had the exact same calming effect on him. When she laughed, he felt the restlessness in him die down. When she laughed because of the things he did or said, he felt fifty feet tall.

"Well one, I was always the boss of you. This just makes it more official," she started.

They were at her room now, and as he opened the door for her, he wondered where all this chivalry was coming from. It must just be Shailene.

"And second," she added as she walked to her bed, "just because you're my protector now, doesn't mean you have to give up your life. And we have time before we have to hunt, so,"—she turned around to face him, hands on her slender yet curvy hips—"I want to go to ZeroSum."

Rhage almost choked on his own breath. "Excuse me?"

"I know I didn't stutter." Her smile was amused now. She was having fun almost giving him a heart attack.

"I don't think that's the brightest idea."

"Why not?"

"Are you crazy?" he almost yelled. "Wrath would have my balls on a platter if I took his Promise to that cess pool for sluts and druggy lowlifes."

"Aw, don't be afraid of the big bad king," she cooed at him, mocking the way people talked their young. "I'll protect you."

"Trust me you do not want to go there. It's not a good place."

She laughed. "You and all the other Brothers go there all the time. Even Butch goes."

"Okay, let me rephrase: it's not a good place _for you."_

Her eyes narrowed. That was something she picked up from Wrath. And it was something they did only when they were annoyed.

"And why is it a not a good place _for me_?"

"Well you're..." His eyes swept down her body, looking at her with great significance.

"I'm..." she prompted. "Female?"

He knew she was a lot more than she appeared. She was stronger than any human by a long shot and stronger than most vampires as well; she was right up there with the Brothers.  
But it was hard to keep all that in mind when you were looking at her. She was so distractingly feminine. Something delicate and precious. Something clean and pure and beautiful. Something that was meant to be protected and cherished, not thrown into a dirty mosh pit of people whose only ambition for the night was either getting high or getting laid, or both.

Plus she was the most beautiful thing in the world, enough to turn the gay straight. If he brought her there, he was absolutely certain that every guy in the place would be on her, trying to grab some grind.

The thought made him want to lock her in the room so no male—human, vampire, or undead— would ever set eyes on her, never want her.

And she would never get the chance to want them back.

So yeah, he was pretty sure ZeroSum was a bad idea.

He shook himself out of his reverie. "Look it doesn't matter. We're not going to ZeroSum. I'm not taking you there."

"We'll see about that." She turned away from him, effectively giving him his cue to leave.

He was at the door when he turned to take one last look at her.

Bad idea.

He caught her as she finished unbuttoning her shirt, peeling it off of her as if it was a second skin.

She looked so smooth. The way her long dark hair trailed down her back in those waves made him want to trail his hands all over her, feel every part of her.

The erection that came on was instantaneous as well as trouble.

And inside he felt the beast shift, as if it agreed with everything he was feeling. He felt a strange buzzing go off inside of him

She pulled her hair up and tied it into a messy bun, a few wisps this still hanging down, but enough of it was pulled up so that he could see the words in the Old Language printed on her back, from her neck to her right shoulder. It was the same tattoo that Wrath had printed on the insides of his forearms. They explained their royal linage, and marked them as the two most important vampires of the race.

Seeing the sexy tattoo, he got even harder.

Right. Time to go.

Rhage slipped out of the room then, thinking maybe a cold shower was a good idea before they headed out.

* * *

"Here we are, Shai. ZeroSum." Vishous' voice sounded satisfactory, like this was his sanctuary.

"Thanks for the warm welcome, V," she replied, looking at the people shivering outside in the cold, all waiting to get inside.

She wanted to know what all the hullabaloo was about.

It had taken a lot of convincing, and some begging, but she had finally gotten Rhage to give in. He wasn't happy. In fact he had been grumbling the whole way there, saying that she needed to stay in his sight at all times, all the other Brothers had to watch her, too, to make sure she didn't get in any trouble.

It was weird hearing Rhage of all people talk like that. She was used to seeing him totally chill. Popping jokes at all times and willing to just roll with whatever came at him. And sure, he had his hot-head tendencies but for the most part, it was her chastising _him_ for something stupid he'd done.

She expected this whole guardian routine from Tohrment, Phury, maybe even Vishous. Even though she was in charge of the Brotherhood alongside Wrath, and even though they thought of her as an authority figure, they also thought of her as a younger sister at times. When she was hanging out with them, or talking to them, or whatever, it was clear that they all looked at her with protectiveness in their eyes. That was sweet. But she wasn't a snowflake; she would not disintegrate on contact.

When would they understand?

But whatever. She wanted this, so she would have it.

So here they all were: Shai, Rhage, V, Butch, and Phury. All of them here to make sure she "stayed out of trouble." As if she needed an army of frickin' babysitters.

"Let's get moving," Rhage grumbled.

Shailene smiled at him. "Still feeling sour?"

She laughed when he glared at her.

She felt like she was being let into some secrete world that had always been at her finger tips, always right around the corner, yet she'd never been allowed to actually see it. Like a child who was finally seeing what the adults did when all the kids went to sleep. And these feelings of wonder and excitement were accompanied by her feeling silly.

As they made their way over to the front of the line, she wondered at her sudden interest in this place. She'd known about it for years and had heard all the Brothers talking about it and the other places around like Screamers and One Eye, but she'd never cared to check them out herself before. What was with the change in attitude? It must be Rhage. She had been honest when she'd told him that she didn't want him to have to give up everything that he'd liked to do before he was assigned to her. And now she guessed... that she wanted to do them with him.

They got to the front of the line and were immediately greeted by angry protests from the humans behind them.

"_Why do they get to go to front..."_

"_I've been here for hours..."_

"_What the hell?"_

"_It's fucking freezing out here..."_

All their minds were on the same frequency: pissed off.

The bouncer at the front was a perfect stereotype: Bald head, bulging human muscles, tattoos along the bicep.

"Back again," the bouncer said when they got to the front. Clearly he knew the guys as regulars. Then his eyes set on her and a smile creeped onto his face, a smile of a predator. "With fresh blood I see." He looked to Vishous. "Who's your friend?"

"They call me Shai," she introduced herself. She was a little bored with the way his were looking her over like she was the last hamburger at the barbeque: hungry. After all, having males look at her was nothing new.

"And she's no one you need to be concerned with," Rhage spoke up from behind her.

"Alright," he said, backing off because you had to be deaf to not hear the threat in Rhage's tone. "You all have a good night. See you around Shai."

She didn't bother with a reply as she was ushered in by all the testosterone behind her.

It was loud, dark, and stank of sex and alcohol. She could see why Rhage didn't want her there. But she wouldn't have left to save herself. This was new and exciting.

This fascinated her.

"Wow," was all she could say.

* * *

It was slightly endearing to see the way Shai looked this place like she had never seen anything with those eyes before. Like this was a whole new world to her.

But it wasn't endearing enough for Rhage to be comfortable with having her here. The way that bouncer had been staring at her was not something he was okay with. Like he had never seen a female before.

"Happy now? You saw it, so we can leave now," he urged.

"Slow your roll, slick," she said. "What's your rush? We just got here."

"For real, Rhage," Butch said from beside him. "What do you think is gonna happen?"

"Exactly," Shai agreed. "And right now, I want a drink. C'mon, B." She started away, taking a smiling Butch with her.

Rhage shook his head in frustration.

A hand came down on his shoulder. "Will you relax, my brother?" Vishous asked. "We're all here, and even if we weren't, what's the worst that could happen?"

"I don't know, she gets drunk, some asshole finds her, tries to fuck her, she has no idea what's going on—"

"Rhage, you seriously need to chill," Phury interrupted. "Shailene is not a young and she's not some idiot human. She knows how to handle herself."

"He's right," Vishous agreed. "So go take a loud off somewhere and let Shai have her fun. Maybe you should go hang with a female. All this stress on you must be hell for the beast. You need a release, get me?"

Oh, he got it. And Vishous was probably right, Rhage thought as he and Phury disappeared into the crowd. The problem was that the only one he wanted to release into was Shailene.

_Ah, hell._

Rhage looked around the club he must have been to a hundred times and saw all the females there and there were already a few of them who were checking him out, and on a normal night, he would have jumped on the chance to get down with one of them, but tonight was not normal. Tonight Shai was here and she was the only female who held his attention.

"Hi." The high voice of a female came from right beside him.

Looking to where the sound had come from, he saw one of the females from the bar who had been giving him signals pretty much from the moment he'd stepped in the place. She was buffed and polished from head to toe, scantily dressed, sexed-up and ready to go. She fluffed her already fluffy hair and smiled seductively at him, glad she'd gotten his attention.

"Hi to you," he responded. "What's your name," he asked, deciding that V was right.

"I'm Clair. And you are..?"

"It's not important."

Her smile turned sly. "The mysterious type, huh? I like that."

Rhage smiled. "Can I help you?"

"It's so nice of you to ask," she said, feigning gratitude. "And now that you do, yes you can." She gestured to the crowd and her voice turned falsely tragic. "My friend met this guy and she totally ditched me. So now I'm all alone."

"What a coincidence. I'm alone, too."

"You want to be alone together?" she asked.

Rhage looked around the club again, trying to ascertain where Shai was.

She was there, at the bar, talking— and might have been flirting, if she were human—to the bartender. She seemed completely at home there, like she was as regular to the place as the Brothers were. He wasn't sure whether he should be relieved or annoyed at the fact that she didn't seem to need him.

"So what do you say?" Clair asked, calling him back to her. "You looking for some company?"

He might as well do this before it was too late. "Yeah, why not."

He could do this. It was nothing he hadn't done a thousand times. She was just another female and he was only in need of a release to keep his beast at bay. No new shit here.

She led him back to one of the private bathrooms that he had used countless times, and he was the one to lock them in together.

She didn't waste time and that was always something he valued in a human. Her arms wrapped around his neck and her lips connected with his, and there was clearly no need for conversation.

His hands found her DD breasts and he instantly noted that they were fake, implants, not the true thing, and he wondered why he paid special attention to that little piece of info.

He felt the beast stir in him, the burn increasing to the point where if he got to his release, it would bring him down to the point where the beast would be all but muted.

He tangled his hands in Clair's dark hair, bringing her closer to him. He noticed that it was almost the same colour of Shailene's hair.

His erection was a hard ridge that pushed into her stomach.

She moaned as his fingers brushed over her concealed nipples and her hands were fast on the buttons of his shirt, desperate to have his chest bare. He was impressed.

And he grew just as desperate with her as her hands raked down his abdomen and scraped across his waist band. He couldn't remember when he had wanted it this so bad. Since the curse, sex was always an empty act, something he used to medicate himself and keep the restless beast in check. But this didn't feel empty. It felt right, it felt... fundamental. They needed this. He needed this with Shai—

At that point he froze. What the _hell_ was he thinking? This wasn't Shai. This was a random human female, who's only purpose to him was to help take the edge off. She wasn't Shai.

And what was he doing fantasizing about Shailene, anyway. She was his charge. He was her guardian. And yes he was attracted to her, but he hadn't noticed that it was to the point where he would start pretending it was her he was fucking.

A blast of insight kicked him in the ass. This was why the desire to get inside was so strong tonight. In his mind, he was kissing Shailene, touching Shailene, intent on being with her. She was the same with him.

But this wasn't Shailene, and he knew this now. So he couldn't go through with it.

The female—he couldn't even remember her name now— noticed the change in him. "What's wrong?" she asked, breathless.

"We can't do this now," he told her, and then added to his statement. "Or ever."

"Excuse me?" she asked, outraged.

He wasn't in the mood to deal with the questions and inquiries that the human would no doubt, have so instead he did what he would have done even if they had had sex. He burrowed into her mind, finding this moment that would remain as a memory to her, and blocked the neuron pathways to it.

She wouldn't remember a thing. Which was just the way he liked it.

He left her there, dazed and confused, and rejoined the rest of club, looking for Shailene as soon as he got out of that bathroom.

She was there, right where he'd left her, drinking her whatever-it-was on her own.

She didn't look up when he sat down beside her, though she must've known he was coming.

"That was fast," she said to him, and the sound of her voice made everything go silent: all the voices, the music, the sound of glasses knocking against each other, all of it. All he heard was her.

"Where are Butch, V and Phury?"

"They're around, doing their own thing. As I imagine you were two minutes ago." Her head turned towards him. "Did she treat you right?"

Her voice was completely indifferent, like him screwing random humans was as inconsequential to her as the weather. And that pissed him off.

"I didn't have sex with her," he said.

"Really." At this she turned her whole body to face him. "What stopped you?"

_You did. I was thinking about you. _

Keeping that little ditty to himself, he muttered, "Just not in the mood tonight."

"Good," she replied. "I don't like you sleeping with just anyone."

The triumph that soared through him was sacked in the balls when she added, "The way you go through them like that... the poor females. And then you just throw them away, like they were garbage."

He instantly went on the defensive. He didn't like that that was the way she thought of him. "So what, you think I'm a sociopathic asshole, who's also a man-whore?"

"No, Rhage. I know you have your reasons, and to the vampires, they are acceptable. You have to keep that damn beast in check. I just wish you had a different way of dealing with it."

"So I'm not an asshole to you," he asked hopefully.

"Those women are the ones giving their bodies away to a stranger, so it's partially their fault if they get fucked in the wrong way." She laughed then and it was sounded like magic through the pounding music. "And what you do in your... 'private time' is none of my business or my concern."

Somehow, that made him feel even lower. Like, pariah low.

The music changed and instantly she straightened, as if the song change reenergized her.

"I want to dance." She hopped up from her stool and stretched, and as if it was complying with the wishes that were riding Rhage's mind so hard, the black cut of shirt that she was wearing rose with her, exposing even more skin than it had before, giving him a clear view of the black sun tattoo that circled her belly button.

It brought him back to the moment when he had seen her undressing. All that smooth skin.

As was to be expected, his body responded to the sight of her.

"Care to join me?" she asked.

He didn't exactly feel worthy of touching her at the moment. "Maybe later. I need a drink."

"Suit yourself." She started flowing towards the crowd, finding Phury and Butch and taking them with her. The three of them danced until a new trio, two females, and one male cut in. The man was instantly all over Shai, and she didn't seem to mind in the slightest, moving with him, flowing against his body.

He wanted to punch the bastard over and over again, to the pounding beat of the music.

_Mine, _he thought, then instantly shook himself.

"I heard that," Vishous said in his ear.

"Don't know what you're talking about," he replied, even though it was clear Vishous had caught that little side note from his brain.

As Rhage took a sip from his glass, he didn't take his eyes off Shailene and the bastard.

Vishous walked around in to front of him, blocking his view of her. "I know how much you're feeling her."

"You're delusional," he muttered, trying to look around V's wide, totally-in-the-way ass so he could see Shailene.

_Mine!_

_Stop it, _he chastised himself.

"Do you think I'm stupid, my brother? Or that I've all of a sudden lost my extra senses?"

"So, what you're an empath now, too?"

"No, but Shailene is."

That got Rhage's attention, and brought his eyes up to Vishous'.

"And if she chooses to turn her powers on, she'd be able to see how you feel as clear as day. Not that she'd need to, too be able to see how you feel."

"Is it that obvious?" Rhage asked.

"At least it is to me." Vishous sat down beside him. "What's stopping you?"

"From doing what?"

"Stop screwing around. Why don't you make a move?"

Rhage snorted. "And have to deal with the wrath of Wrath? Hell no. I like my balls right where they are, thank you very much."

"You have to have a pair to like them where they are," V shot back. "I know that's what you're worried about."

"What do you want me to say, Vishous? She's the Promise."

"Your point?"

"She'd never go for me."

"You'll never know until you quit pussyfooting around."

Rhage gave a hard laugh at that. "You give one hell of a pep talk."

"It's what I do best. Go get her."

"Why you pushing so hard?"

"Trust me. This is meant to happen." At that he got up to leave.

The music changed and Shailene broke away from the bastard, but he grabbed her back, hungry for more of her, probably feeling like Rhage and was hungry for all of her. And Rhage couldn't blame the son of a bitch for wanting her, but he could hate him for it.

_Mine!_

He couldn't take his eyes off the two of them. Shailene pulled away from him again, a small smile on her face, but Rhage could tell that she wasn't being a flirt and she wasn't being a tease. She also wasn't playing hard to get. She wanted away from him.

Where the hell were Butch and Phury?

She pulled away with a shove this time, and he pulled her back to him. His hands were tight and demanding on her hips, not gentle and tender, the way they should be when holding a female. When she pushed at him some more, he grabbed her face, planting a hard one on her lips.

_MINE!_

At that point Rhage had bound out of his seat and was making his way over to them.

By the time he got them, Shai had already given him a good slap in the puss, guaranteeing him shiner in the morning. Good. The mother-fucker deserved it. In fact, if necessary, Rhage was happy to add to his collection of developing black-and-blues.

"Let go, you asshole," Shai snapped at him.

"Keep playing hard to get," he hissed at her, and Rhage could smell the alcohol on his breath. "It turns me on."

"Let her go," Rhage growled.

"And who are you supposed to be?" the bastard asked.

"I'm the guy who's going to beat your ass into the ground if you don't let go of her arm. Now."

"Why don't you guy wax your eyebrows or some shit and leave me and my girl alone."

_Mine, not yours, MINE!_

"Your girl'?" Shailene asked in outrage.

Rhage grabbed the fucker's hand that was holding Shai and squeezed the wrist so hard, he could practically hear the bones about to snap. "I said let go."

"Dude what the fuck!" flyboy yelled, his voice reaching the level of the music.

Rhage pulled the asshole to him, and looked him straight in the eye.

"You're going to go back to whoever you came here with, and you're going to leave this club. If I see you again for the rest of the night, you're going to wish you had never brought your pathetic ass outside your house tonight," Rhage said, his voice was low and deadly, and he meant every word he said as he planted the thoughts in the guy's head. "Now get out of my sight, you piece of shit."

He let go of the guy's wrist, and the bastard left. The beast, which had started to roar inside of him as his anger had started to boil his blood, calmed down some.

"Thanks," she said, putting her hand on his arm. "Even though I could have handled that."

He smiled down at her. "Is it possible for you to show some gratitude without amending it?"

She smiled at him. "Nope."

He shook his head.

Her voice grew serious and her eyes grew grave. "You came for me."

He looked her straight in the eye. "Of course I did."

"Hmm," along with a nod of her head, was her only response.

"What?"

"It's just that, before you even became my _ahstrux nohtrum _I wondered if you would. And now you have." She looked at him. "Would you come for me again, Rhage? Would you come for me?"

Later, a lot, a lot later, Rhage would reflect on this question, and realize that it was the beginning of everything. That it was this question that started the long journey between them. In this moment, that question was life altering inquiry, disguised as a simple question, that held all the weight of their futures to come, but it was his answer that sealed their fate.

Keeping contact with her eyes, he took her hand and flattened it on his chest, right where his heart was.

His response was given in the Old Language. "_On my honour, I will always come for you_."

It was a good thing they didn't know what those two things, her question and his response, held in just those simple words. For now they were they just words, yet to be proven. For now it was just a promise to be kept. And they were glad they didn't know what those words held for them. For now they were content to keep it as light as possible.

"_Thank you_," she said.

He bowed his head to her, keeping her hand where it was on his chest.

And then he was completely taken off guard as he felt a pair of soft, full, delicious lips, pressed against his. Everything went away. The music, the people, everything. All of it went dead.

Rhage reacted without thinking. His arms wrapped around her, one around her waist, the other around her shoulders, his hand snaking up to braid itself in her hair.

She was amazing, the way her lips moved against his. They were sure and confident, they were tender and sweet. They were perfect.

He loved the feel of her body, so small in width, so soft yet lean against him. She was fluid as silk in his arms, releasing all the strength in her body, letting his strength be the only thing that held her up, that kept her off the ground, which was the exactly what he wanted.

He would have kept this going forever, but her soft hands came up on his face and pulled back gently, still keeping them body to body. She placed one more soft, gentle kiss on his lips, then her face was away from his. He took a moment to open his eyes and look at her.

"Thank you," she said again in English this time.

And then they just looked at each other. He imagined that he while looking into her diamond green eyes, he could see all the way down to her soul. He knew that if something like that was possible, that he would love what he'd see, because even though her soul wasn't present to his eyes in the physical form, he already loved it.

But then she looked to the side, away from him, towards the exit. "V" she murmured, and it was a wonder that he could hear her over the music, although he shouldn't be surprised. She had just a second ago made the whole universe go away with just the touch of her lips.

"Rhage," she said, still looking away from him, still murmuring. "Something's wrong."

* * *

**So tell me what you think. Do you like my cliff hanger? Of course you don't, no one likes cliff hangers! :) Comment if you're reading my story, I love to hear from my fellow writers and reader. Your opinions are valued.**


	5. Chapter 5: Tehrror

DISCLAIMER: I love the Brothers. And I love J.R. Ward for creating them.

Tehrror 

By midnight, Bella had decided she was perfectly happy to spend the rest of her night in her farm house. Alone.

She'd gotten what little grocery shopping she'd needed to get done done, she'd been to see her _mahmen _and brother, Rehvenge, which was always a stressful, busy task, and even eaten out at a small place called Moe's Diner. It wasn't the high class, fancy-shmancy, everyone-has-a-pole-up-their-butt-and-that's-why-they're-so-uptight kind of place that she had grown up going to and that's why she liked it. The place was small, dark and even a little rowdy at times. Completely opposite from what the glymera considered 'acceptable'. Just like her. That was why she had become a regular there. The _glymera_ was a nasty thing, so anything that reminded her of it was not welcome in her mind. Well anything that wasn't her family, and even they could be hard to deal with.

Seeing her mother or her brother wasn't something that she always particularly looked forward to because she hated hearing Rehvenge try to convince her to move back in with the family. To Rehvenge, she was still a young and needed to be sheltered from everything. Bella knew that she was capable of taking care of herself and living on her own. Plus, if she had to spend any more time with Rehvenge coddling her, she would most likely die of suffocation. She needed space. Which was why she had moved out in the first place. Going back under Rehvenge's roof and rules and regulations was counterproductive to her whole bid for freedom.

She shook her head as she headed back to her car.

She knew it wasn't Rehvenge's fault that he was like that. When her father had died many, many years ago, Rehvenge had been well, well out of his transition, so he had rightfully taken over the position of male of the house. He had been there for her her whole entire life. He'd given her anything and everything she could ever want or need. So him wanting to protect her was fully understood. She just wished he would tone it down a little.

As she walked up to her front door, and made her way over to the couch in her living room, she was lost in thoughts of her family, and the _glymera. _Every now and again, her fall from grace came back to her. She had once been a female of worth in the glymera, with a male who was promised to her. Everything a young female could want. But hadn't been one to follow rules, especially the ones that said a female must wait to be mated to a male before they are to lie together. She hadn't. At the time life had felt long enough to wait for something so crucial to happen, especially when it was with someone you deeply cared about. At the time, Bella had thought that she was in love with this male and hadn't wanted to waste time when it was so clear to her that they were going to be together forever. Well no such luck. They had slept together, and he had let those little tid-bits of their relationship slip to others of their social group. That was when Rehvenge had found out and that was when the problems started.

Remembering what had happened, how her reputation had been torn apart as if someone had shoved it through a paper shredder, and how she had shamed her family, her throat started to close up, and vision started fuzzing in and out. She couldn't breathe. No air was coming through. Her heart started to sprint, and she was feeling dizzy, so dizzy in fact, that she couldn't stay upright while sitting on the couch. She fell to floor, hands around her throat as if that could help anything.

She was going to die… Oh God, she was going to die…

And then she started crying because she knew she wouldn't. This was just one of her panic attacks, like the many she'd had when the_ glymera_ had ruined her at the beginning. All the anxiety would creep up, all panic and embarrassment would take over and she would lose the sense that air was filling her lungs, and her vision would black in and out and she would get dizzy. But those were all illusions of the mind. She wasn't dying.

_Breathe, just breathe, _she chanted in her head. The thing about these panic attacks was once she realized she was going through one, she could often talk herself through them. All she has to was calm herself down, slow her breathing…

There. She was better now, the crushing weight on her lungs disappearing. They didn't help the tears though.

Getting up, she tried to restore whatever dignity she had left, and she was glad that she lived alone. That way no one was around to see her display of weakness.

She walked in the direction of her kitchen, cutting straight through it so that she could get to the sliders that led to outside. She went out and sat by the pool taking off her shoes and her socks and dipping her feet into the cold water.

This was what she needed, some, cool, fresh air.

Bella closed her eyes, dropped her head, and reminded herself that what had happened was nothing but a memory now. She had distanced herself from the _glymera_, and her family, the only people who really mattered to her, didn't think any less of her. As long as all that held true, she would be fine.

When Bella was sure her breathing was back to normal, she opened her eyes and looked up, about ready to head back inside from this freezing night. All she wanted to do was cuddle in her room with a good book and a cup of her favourite tea—

She was not alone. Bella jerked back in surprise and scrambled to her feet, thinking that the new addition in her back yard could be a _lesser_—

But no. It was just a boy, probably early teens with dark hair, pale skin, and blue eyes. He was thin to the extreme, so skinny he looked emaciated. And he was utterly beautiful, so breath taking, he couldn't be anything but heaven-sent.

"Hey, kid, what are you doing here?" she asked softly, not particularly scared of him. "Who are you?"

The kid just shook his head.

"What's wrong? Can't hear?"

He reached behind him, pulled out a pad of paper and pen.

_My hearing is perfectly fine .But I can't speak._

"Oh. Okay." She looked around awkwardly. "What are you doing here? Where are you parents?"

He hesitated for so long that she was starting to wonder about the whole my-hearing-is-fine thing, but then he quickly wrote on his pad.

_I was born in a bathroom stall in a bus station. A janitor found me there alone and took me to the orphanage, Our Lady of Mercy. _

"Oh I see," she said, trying to keep her wince to herself and the pity out of her voice. How awful…

"So no parents, not even foster parents?"

He shook his head. _My place is on Tenth Street. I live on my own, _he wrote.

"Oh…" That instantly struck horror into her heart. From what she knew of that area, it wasn't exactly a safe place. Something so delicate shouldn't be somewhere so dangerous.

She almost laughed at herself, thinking that must be what Rehv was thing when it came to her and the world.

"How did you get here?"

_I work at Moe's Diner, _he wrote_. I notice you coming in every Wednesday, and I look over you whenever I see you around. It's not in a sneaky way, I promise. It's just that you seem so nice; I've wanted to talk to you for a while._

"So you followed me home tonight?"

_Pretty much every night you come in. My shift is usually over by the time you come in, I just stay late and work overtime. So when you leave, I leave. I have a bike and you don't drive very fast. You always come in and stay late and it's not really a safe place of town for a woman to be alone in at night. I figure if I watch over you, you might be safer. I promise I don't follow you in a creepy way. I only see you home safely and then I leave._

Bella shook her head, thinking he was a little odd. He looked like a child, but he spoke as if he were a man. And him wanting to protect her? It seemed more he needed looking after.

_Do you mind if I stay, for a while? I'll sit on the other side of the pool if it makes you more comfortable._

Bella didn't hesitate with her answer. "No."

He nodded, and turned away.

"No, no that's not what I meant." She sat back down, letting her feet glide through the water. "Come sit here. Next to me."

He didn't rush over, but instead he came at her slowly, as if giving her time to change her mind, or maybe he was just expecting her too. She patted the ground next to her, encouraging him to hurry up.

When he got to the pool, he took of his socks and sneakers, and dipped his feet into the water as well.

"Tell me something , what's your name?" she asked gently.

_John Matthew_, he wrote. _The nuns gave it to me._

"Makes sense. Are you hungry," she asked, thinking of the left over spaghetti she had in the fridge.

_No I'm okay. Tell me why you were crying a minute ago._

Bella looked away from him. "It was nothing. Just remembering some past mistakes."

_Whatever they were, they can't be that bad. Not for someone like you. _

She smiled. "You're very sweet, but trust me it's no big thing. And they were some time ago. But thanks for saying that."

She smiled when he patted her hand, feeling oddly comforted by the child.

But then her smile fell. On the boys wrist, was something totally familiar, though she had never seen it before.

Bella tried to look as casual as possible as she indicated to his wrist and said, "May I see?"

His eyes looked a little wary, but he complied, lifted his arm for her to get a better look at the thick strip of leather around his wrist.

_Oh sweet Virgin… _It couldn't be…

"Where did you get this?" she demanded, her voice harder then she meant it to be.

He took out his pad. _I made it_.

"Really? Where did you get the idea for these markings? They're so creative." She studied the markings on the bracelet that were a cross between hieroglyphics and Chinese characters.

_I got the idea from dreams I have. I liked the way they looked, so I carved them into the bracelet._

"Do you know what they mean?"

He shook his head. _No. They don't mean anything. I just dreamed of them._

"What are your dreams like?" she asked, still eyeing the bracelet.

Bella noticed John hesitate, and figured she was probably making him uncomfortable. Her eyes made it back up to his face. "You don't have to be embarrassed, John. Whatever it is, it's okay." Embarrassed though he may be, she still needed to know his answer.

John started writing again. _They're about weird things. Like blood, and fighting, and fangs, and…biting._

Bella shivered but was thankful that he wasn't looking at her, so he wouldn't be able to misinterpret what the shudder meant.

She looked down at John. "Does fighting interest you? Like martial arts and stuff?"

_Yeah it does, _he said looking a little more comfortable now. _I love movies like the Matrix and anything with Jackie Chan. I always wanted to learn but I never got the chance._

"How old are you, John?"

_Twenty-three._

Oh God…

"John it's pretty cold out here," she said, wrapping her arms around herself. "Do you want to go inside?"

John shook his head. _I like this weather. The air is so crisp and cool..._He looked at her. _But if you're cold, then I can just leave. _

"Don't be silly," she said. "You stay. I'm just going to go make some hot chocolate. You want any?"

He nodded eagerly. _Yes please_.

She had to smile at that.

But her smile didn't last long as she went back through her kitchen, and into the other room. She was struck with being thankful that the cellar doors were in the living room. That way she had a convincing lie to tell John about how she had to go to the pantry in the basement to look for the hot chocolate mix, when really, she was going into the living room to freak out.

Okay, panic time.

John was an issue. A _huge _issue.

She wanted to slap herself in the face because she hadn't realized him for what he was before. Short, incredibly skinny, pale wand weak, at the age of twenty-three? Could only mean one thing.

John Matthew was a pre-transition male. A vampire.

It was so very obvious now, and she should have known from the first moment she looked at him. But just because he looked like one, didn't necessarily mean that he was of her kind.

What made her certain was those dreams. Blood, fangs, biting were what he said he dreamed of. And what about that bracelet with the symbols carved into it? Those markings were letters from the Old Language, and the spelled out TEHRROR. That was a very old name. A warrior's name.

She knew what the pattern meant, but he didn't which meant that he clearly didn't know about his species either.

How was it possible that he had been lost in the human world for so long? Where were his parents? It was true that there was a high mortality rate for pregnant females, so his mother may have died while giving birth, and it was also possible that whoever the father was, he didn't know that the female had been carrying young; not every needing that a female goes through does she end up pregnant. But still, John said that he had been found alone, so how was that possible?

Whatever. None of that was important right now. What was important was that he had no clue what he was so when his transition hit, he wouldn't know what was happening to him. He wouldn't have a female there so he could feed from, and then he would die. And since he was twenty-three, he only had about two years or so before the transition hit. But that was going with the assumption that he wasn't an early bloomer, which wasn't unheard of.

Bella had to choke back her hysteria.

This had to be taken care of.

Her first instinct was to call her brother. Growing up, Rehvenge always seemed to have the answers to everything and took care of whatever problems she might have come across. But she soon realized that was a bad idea. Once you involved Rehvenge, he tended to take over everything. Plus John needed to be eased into this world gently and carefully, and those were generally two words that were never used to describe Rehv; in fact he tended to terrify whoever he came into contact with.

There was the race's physician, Havers. He would be able to tell how long John had until his transition hit. And maybe John could even stay there until they got some things figured out for him.

But John wasn't sick. He was a pre-transition male, and yes he was physically weak, but there were no illnesses inflicting him as far as Bella could tell. Plus Havers ran a medical facility, not some sort of housing service.

But then Bella remembered: Tehrror, the warrior name.

That was it. The Black Dagger Brotherhood.

She quickly ran to her bedroom, where she kept her address book, quickly flipped through it, and picked up the landline. Her fingers were sweaty and slippery as she dialed the only number on the otherwise blank last page. Rumor had it that this was the number you called if you wanted to get into touch with the Black Dagger Brotherhood, the race's warriors.

As the phone rang, she hoped she was doing the right thing by calling the Brotherhood.

But of course she was. The Brotherhood would want to know that one of theirs was out lost in the human world, alone, without any idea of what he was or where he belonged.

She was nervous as she waited, and she half expected the number to either not go through or be answered by someone telling her that she had the wrong number and to screw off. But instead, she was answered by an electronic voice repeating the number she dialed and telling her to leave a message.

After the beep, she said, "Hi…um my name is Bella. I want…I need the Brotherhood. There's a situation and we need your help."

As she hung up the phone she took a moment to try to calm herself down. She'd left as minimal amount of details as possible in case that message was picked up by some human who had no idea what the hell she was talking about.

She went back to the kitchen, starting up that hot chocolate she'd promised John about ten minutes ago.

As she spooned the chocolate mix and sugar into the two mugs and filled them with steaming water dispensed from the hotpot, she thought about what would happen if no one got back to her. John was in a lot of trouble, and that put her in a tough spot. She supposed she could take him, tell him about the vampires, tell him what was going to happen to him, and maybe even feed him when his transition hit.

She looked out through the slider at his small, thin back.

John deserved more than her. He deserved someone who could actually take care of with what he would need as a pre-transition male. She had _no _idea how to do that. But if it came down to that she would. John deserved better but she was damn better than nothing.

Bella was pouring milk into the mugs when the phone rang.

Could it be them? So soon?

"Hello?" she said into the receiver.

"Bella." The voice was a male voice. Low, dark, commanding.

"Yes…"

"You called us."

_Holy Christ. _It worked.

She needed to a second to wrap her mind around the impossibility of this moment. Like any civilian, she all about the Black Dagger Brotherhood: their names, their reputations, their triumphs and legends, and all the other warriors who came before the current ones. But she'd never actually met one. And now here she was talking to one in her kitchen.

_Get to the point. _There would be time to marvel later.

"Yes I did." She cleared her throat. "I have a problem. Tonight… I met a young male. A pre-transition male with no idea about vampires. He has no idea what he is. But the real reason I'm calling is because…he has this bracelet, and on it there are letters in the Old Language and they spell out Tehrror. He says he dreamed of the letters, and has no idea what they mean." She looked at John again, finding what she was about to say hard to believe. "I think he may be one of you. A warrior."

There was a moment of silence once she was done talking. But then the male on the other side of the line spoke. "Tomorrow night you will bring him to us."

_Oh jeez_. Just how was she supposed to pull that off?

"A car will be at your house to pick you both up at nine."

Well that was one problem solved. But there was still another.

"He doesn't speak. I mean he can hear just fine, but he uses sign language to communicate. He would need a translator, and he doesn't have one."

There wasn't even a moment's hesitation. "We can take care of that."

Well… okay then. "My address is—"

"We know where to find you." The line went dead.

Bella shivered. Then picked up the two mugs and carried them outside.

"So John," she said when she was situated beside him again, both their feet in the water, mugs in both their hands. "I know some people who are into martial arts." Which wasn't a lie. To fight those God-awful _lessers, _you had to be good at all kinds of fighting. "Would you like to meet them?"

_Why? For training? _He asked hopefully.

"Maybe."

John looked truly excited for a moment, but then his expression fizzled.

_I have no money. And I'm not big enough._

"What if none of that was a problem?" She asked, trying to keep the desperate note out of her tone. She had to get him to agree. "This is a place where master fighters hang out. You could meet with them, talk with them…. They may even have some tips to get you started, if you're serious about it."

_You could do that for me?_

"Yeah John, why not? So what do you say?"

_I say yes, _he scribbled down excitedly.

"Great. How's nine tomorrow?"

_In the morning? I have an early shift tomorrow, so I don't think I can make that_.

"At night, John. Nine o'clock at night.


	6. Chapter 6: Interruption

SIDE NOTE: This is in regards to the last chapter. You might have noticed that it's very similar to the scenes in _Lover Eternal _when Mary meets John Matthew for the first time and the one where Bella calls the BDB because she doesn't know what to do about John once she realizes that he is a pretrans and has no idea about himself. That was completely intentional. I am writing this story as if it were _Lover Eternal_ only it's my version of it. What I mean is it's supposed to be written as if it were part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood series, in the place of LE. So any characters that enter the story in that book, like John and Bella, have to enter my story someway so that they can continue on in the rest of J.R. Ward's series. For example, since there is no Mary, I had to find a way for John Matthew to meet the Brotherhood and for Bella to Zsadist. Since Mary is the way John and Bella meet each other and the BDB, and she is not in this story (as if she never existed) I have to fill in all parts that may have been influenced by her. If I didn't make sure Bella and John Matthew met, and then in turn met the Brotherhood, _Lover Awakened_ would never happen and neither would _Lover Mine._ So as I said before pretend that there is _**NO,**_ and never was, Mary. If you are reading this story, imagine that _this_ is Rhage's story in the series. _This_ is the story that comes right after _Dark Lover_ and right before _Lover Awakened_.

Anyways, I just wanted to explain that. On with the story shall we?

Disclaimer: BTW the brothers belong to the J.R. Ward. Sadly. I wish they were mine, they are truly divine, but alas, they belong to the WARDen.

Chapter 6: Interruption

Shailene would have been perfectly content to stay in Rhage's arms all night. She would have loved to keep looking into his eyes, and she would have been so happy if he had kissed her again.

But none of that could continue. Something wasn't right, she could feel it. And that rude interruption was what broke her out of the perfect moment she and Rhage had been sharing.

Vishous was in trouble.

"What do you mean 'something's wrong'?" Rhage asked in a hard voice. "What's wrong with V?"

Shailene zoned out for a sec. She let her mind travel through all the others in and around the club, trying to find Vishous' and the source of trouble that she had felt tugging on the side of her conscience.

_Bingo_, she thought when she found him. He had been calling to her.

And for good reason. V was surrounded by _lessers_. She could see it through his eyes, as if she was the one who was being forced back, farther into an ally. It was Vishous against at least eight of those pale haired bastards, and somewhere in the back of her mind, she noticed that it was abnormal for so many of them to be traveling together.

But that could be inspected upon later. What was important was that V was in some deep shit and he was calling for her help. It had been his mind probing and reaching out to hers that had set off the signal of all-is-not-right in her brain.

_Shailene, I need you_, he thought angrily, as if knowing that she was there. _Get your ass out here_.

Shailene came back into herself and looked at Rhage. "We need to find Butch and Phury and get the hell out of here."

"What's going on with V?" he demanded.

"He's surrounded by _lessers_, about to get nailed if he doesn't get some back up _now_."

"Shit," he muttered, then headed for the exit.

_Butch, Phury_, she called out telepathically, entering both their brains at the same time, _Vishous needs our help. Let's move._

As she started weaving through the throng of sweaty human bodies, trying to make it out to the exit, she pulled her long hair up into a bun, preparing to make her way to the back of the ally where she had seen Vishous, so she could kick some _lesser _ass. On the way she saw Phury and then Butch coming from opposite directions, but headed the same way she was.

"Where's Vishous?" Butch demanded when they were outside.

"He's in an ally, probably—"

She was interrupted by the sound of multiple gunshots going off. There was a "Son of a bitch!" Then there was a pop and a flash.

"Right. That one." Phury indicated to the ally about a hundred feet away from where they were standing.

They started booking it.

And got there just in time to see Rhage slam one of the _lessers_ into the brick wall, then plunge one of his black daggers into the slayer's neck. He looked completely in control, so strong and fierce.

It was absolutely amazing to Shai that she felt a tingle go through her body at the sight. It couldn't be any more inappropriate in their current situation.

But her attraction would have to wait.

What felt like two steel bands wrapped around her arms and pulled them back hard, as if whatever it was that had the death grip on her had every intention of ripping her arms right out of the sockets. She gasped in surprise and pain, and then felt a foot plant itself between her shoulder blades. Hard.

It changed its position on her, pulling her against its hard body, folding her arms up against her back and holding them with one hand. The other hand came up to her neck and something thin and sharp and chilly pressed into her throat.

"Vampire bitch," the _lesser_ snarled in her ear. The revolting scent of baby powder filled her nose.

She was a master in the hand to hand stuff, learning from the great warrior that was her brother. But in some situations, such as this one, it was best to go back to the basics.

She moved fast, using the "sing" technique to get herself free, putting some extra effort into the groin part of the move and as soon as she was free, her hand went to her SIG and put a hole through her _lesser's _cranium.

Three down. No, four now. Phury had just taken down one of his own.

But more were coming, and they were making a bit of noise.

Another one was coming at her head on. She shot that one, too. And the next one and the next.

"V," she shouted. "You mind… _mhis_-ing this place?"

"A little busy," was his strangled reply. "Why don't… you?"

There was no time to reply with a "I'm busy, too, asshole that's why I was asking you,"—because, you know, he might be in a better position to do it than her— because a _lesser _blindsided her and knocked the gun out of her hand and planted a good one in her chest and then her torso, in the right rib cage section.

Time to go to work.

Her fist made contact with the nose of the _lesser, _then she grabbed it by either side of its face and jammed her knee into it. There was a crunch and the black oily substance that was their blood went spraying everywhere. The slayer managed to get away from her, then started coming at her again, throwing punches in all directions, dagger in one hand— he even managed to get a few good slices in her arms and her stomach— forcing Shai to pull some fancy moves from up her sleeve.

She managed to disarm the slayer by wrenching its arm down hard by the elbow and dislocating the joint. She picked up the knife, jumped up and planted one foot on the wall for just a second, using it to propel herself up even higher. She landed with her legs wound tight around the slayer's neck and as it started to flail in panic, she drove the dagger into the _lesser's_ skull.

It started to scream the kind of screams that made you wish you were deaf, and crumbled to the ground with her landing on his upper back. She lifted his head and wrenched his neck to the side, breaking it and shutting the _lesser_ the hell up.

She was about to get up when she heard someone shout "Rhage, behind you!" Shailene dislodged the dagger from her more-or-less dead _lesser_ friend, twisted at the waist, and through it with precise skill.

It landed in the head and the _lesser_ dropped its arms from around Rhage's shoulders and then it dropped all together.

Served the bastard right. She only wished she could kill all the _lessers_ that had laid a hand on Rhage. Her Rhage—

She frowned. Where the hell had that come from?

A hand appeared in front of her face. Phury.

"Nice save," he said— with no small amount of appreciation in his voice— as he helped her up.

"Thanks." She looked around. "Everyone okay? Butch?"

"I'm fine, mom, thanks," came his grudging reply.

"Just checking. Everyone else?"

"We're all good," Rhage said, coming forward.

Shai ran her eyes all over him, drinking in the sight of him, making sure he truly was okay and not bleeding from some fundamental part of him, and no arteries had been sliced, and all his organs were inside his body, and his head wasn't cut almost clean off—

His lips spread into a sly smile. "Shailene, I'm fine." He put her hands on either side of his face to give her more assurance, and held them there.

"How do you know what I was thinking?" she asked him, staring into those teal orbs.

"You're looking at me like your trying to make sure I haven't lost a limb."

"What about your beast?"

"Mellowed out."

"Okay, then." She took her hands away from his face, and wished she could keep them there.

"So we're all good," Butch said. "V, you mind explaining what the hell happened?"

"I stepped out for a smoke and almost got shanked," V explained in a tight voice.

"I told you to quit that damn Turkish tobacco," Shai muttered.

"And here I thought you were just being a pain in my ass."

"You should listen to me more often," She said with a smirk.

"I'll keep that in mind. But as for right now, let's just search these _lessers_ and move on."

"V's right," Phury interjected. "Let's move."

V turned to Butch. "Go home, Cop."

"What the hell? You're seriously going to send me home while you big kids—"

"Yeah we are," Phury cut in. "Go."

Butch looked at Shai as if looking for her to overrule them.

"You should go, B," Shai said softly.

"But—"

"_Now_."

He glared at them all for a moment longer, then stormed to the ally's exit, cursing like he was practicing for the F-bomb Olympics.

"C'mon," Shai said, starting to bend over the and check the first _lesser_ body.

"Shai, stop," Rhage commanded softly to her.

He pressed a hand to her stomach. Shai winced. Now that the adrenaline was leaving her body, she was starting to feel the little aches and sharp pains from the fight.

"You're bleeding," he sighed.

She stepped away from his touch. "I'm fine."

"Like hell you are."

"Rhage, don't worry about it. Let's just finish this and move on."

"We should go back—"

"No, I'm okay—"

"What if you're not?"

"I'm already healing—"

They started arguing at that, both of them talking over each other and disagreeing with every point the other made, while Phury and Vishous stood by and watched the display, snickering here and there like this was some funny movie.

Well at least someone was having fun.

"Look, would you just calm down?" she called over him. "I am fine." She took his hands and put them on her face, just as he had with her. "I'm fine." Her voice was softer as she tried to convince him with her eyes.

"You're sure?" he asked, no small amount of worry in his face and in his voice.

She wanted to smile, the sweet feeling of satisfaction filling her. She was happy that Rhage worried about her, one of the few times she was happy to be fussed over, and that he was uneasy because he wanted to make her safe.

God, she was a bitch.

She looked at his too beautiful face, zeroing in his tear drop tattoo. Was he truly worried about her, or was he just doing his job? There was an easy way to find out—

No. She wouldn't invade Rhage's privacy like that by reading his thoughts or checking his emotional grid. She wouldn't do that.

She nodded to answer his question. "I'm sure. Now can we finish here?"

It was his turn to nod, and then she let go of his hands.

"So if you two love birds are through," Vishous said, interrupting yet again, "we have work to do."

Rhage didn't look away from her eyes as he said, "Let's move."

* * *

It was almost four in the morning by the time Rhage, Shai and the rest of them made it back to the mansion, and it was after four by the time they finished debriefing with Wrath.

The four of them had split into two teams: Rhage and Shai, and Vishous and Phury. Both couples had run into at least one more fight after the first and they all noticed a common trend: the _lessers_ were traveling in larger groups, which was something new, which meant they were probably seeing a shift in the Lessening Society's strategy.

But that wasn't what Rhage was thinking about as he and Shai went back to his room. Now that they were back at the mansion and out of the Omega's servant's clutches, he had time for the testosterone in him to start acting up in a different way than when he was fighting.

Shailene… That kiss…

Rhage couldn't remember a time when the feel of someone else's lips on his was so pleasurable. Probably because it never had been.

But with Shai it was different. Her touch slowed everything down for him. She calmed the raging that was always inside of him, made him feel nothing but peace and serenity, and that was better than any sex he'd ever had. Sure he wanted to do a lot more to her, but the taste of her mouth had been enough for him in that moment. With her in his arms, relying on his strength, that strange, beautiful vibration she called out of him acting up, and her diamond green eyes on him, he had been perfectly content to take things slow, something else he was unfamiliar with.

But that didn't mean he hadn't let his mind run wild. The whole time she had been in his arms, he had entertained more than a few fantasies where he took her straight home— not giving a fuck what the hell the rest of them did for the rest of the night— and brought her back to his room, over to the bed, where they would take things farther than the kissing place, and end up in a place where they were both naked and tangled up in sheets and breathless and desperate to do it all over again. And when they did, she would be left with that special dark scent covering every inch of her, and inside of her.

And having her here, in his room, with nothing but the candle light to illuminate her perfect face—just like he pictured— was only fueling his hunger for her.

"Sit down," she commanded, pointing to the bed.

He did as he was told.

"Off with your clothes," she said.

Again, he could do nothing but comply. As he peeled off his shirt, though, he wished she was saying it for a different reason.

She came up behind him, putting all the first- aid supplies down on the bed.

"God, this graze looks awful," she said from behind him.

"I barely even feel it," he lied.

In the two other fights that Rhage and Shai had found, their injuries, which had been healing since the first fight, had been reissued and added to. He had a nasty slice across his belly, and his shin was hurting like a bitch.

But still, the graze on his back that Shai was attending to now was the worst of tonight's cargo. Anytime he got a cut, scrape, bruise, slice or whatever, it was never worse than when it was on his back, because that's where his curse lived. Whenever the beast feels too much pain, he decides to take things into his own hands and take Rhage completely out of the equation. The recovery was a bitch, which was why he did his best not to get too sliced and diced out there, but still, shit _did_ happen.

And whenever something happened to his back, where the tattoo of the beast was, it was magnified because he felt it two places: that spot on his back, and the part of his body that corresponded with wherever it had hit the beast.

Speaking of which, he was relieved that the beast was cool and collected at the moment. Sure it still stirred uncomfortably in him, but it seemed the fights he'd found tonight were enough so that he didn't have worry about it.

Though there might have been more than just violence keeping him calm tonight.

"I'm going to disinfect this," she told him.

"Honestly, you don't need to worry about me," he said to her, though it made him feel like he was glowing to know that she did. Still, he really wished she would let him clean her wounds first.

"Am I not allowed to worry about my warrior?"

He smiled. "If you want. But the way it works, is _I'm_ supposed to look after _you_."

Her chin came down on his shoulder and she spoke into his ear.

"Well you work for me," she said playfully, "and I insist that I take care of you first. Sorry if that's not the way they do things in macho-male-warrior-'always-tight-in-the-head' land. This is the way we do things in Shailene's world. I hope that doesn't make you feel uncomfortable." Yeah right. She didn't sound like cared at all.

And in normal times, the fact that she was commanding him around would have pissed him off, but right now, it was a really huge turn on.

He tried to hide his hard-on that always seemed to make itself present whenever she was around.

"The male takes care of the female first. Always," he pointed out.

"How about this, you can have your way next time we go out," she reasoned. "You can check me out after I'm done."

His erection throbbed.

He wanted to tell his cock to cut the shit. She only meant that he could look at her _wounds, _not the secret places of her body. This was_ only_ a first-aid station. _Nothing_ else.

"But honestly I don't even feel the graze," he assured her, hoping that she wouldn't happen see that he was lying.

"Really?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Really, totally and completely f—"

He hissed and winced as the graze on his back and his bicep started to burn like a mofo. "Fuck!" he groaned.

"Liar," she said smugly. "So I'm right, you're wrong, and this argument is over. I win."

He started grumbling as he felt more of the burning of the disinfectant as she cleaned his wound.

"You know, it's a beautiful thing when a loser can consent with good grace," she pointed out.

"Well if you know me at all, then you know that I'm a sore sport and I don't lose well, because I don't lose often."

"And that," she said as put the dressing on his graze, "is something we have in common. All done here."

"Great. Your turn—"

"Oh no." She got up and walked around to face with her hands on her hips. "Let's see your stomach."

He cursed some more, but lied back on the bed.

"Lovely," she said with disgust as she looked at the injury. "Gotta clean and wrap this one too."

That one took less time to do and she checked his shin, which was no worse than the other bruises that were starting to stain his skin. The whole time he was trying to ignore the sensation of her light, gentle hands moving across his body, so that his libido didn't get any more ideas. Not that it needed the help. Inside him, the beast purred.

He was tempted to go back out without her and find another _lesser_, or let V take a go at him. Anything that resulted in her nursing him back to health.

But he still wanted to make sure she wasn't hurt too badly. Though in his books, a paper cut counted as "hurt too badly" when it came to her.

"Alright, I'm fine now. Can I please look you over now?" He cursed when he realized what he said. "I mean your wounds. Can I please look your _wounds_ over now?"

She laughed quietly. "Whatever makes you happy."

She sat down on the bed and took off her shirt and then lay down on her back.

It took Rhage a moment to get with program. He looked at her perfectly round and proportioned breasts, covered by the modest stretch of cotton that was her sports bra. He wanted to take them into his hands. He saw the sun tattoo that that circled her belly button that he had only caught a glimpse of earlier at the club. He wanted to lick his way around the small print of ink and then go lower, lower with his tongue until he got to her—

_Cut the shit_, he shouted at himself.

He got back in touch with the reason he was looking at her and saw it as clear as day. There was a slice that stretched from one side of her stomach to the other, and she had a bruise the size of both of Rhage's fists on her rib cage.

"Holy hell," he whispered, trying to keep the fury he was feeling at bay and away from the surface.

"They're only flesh wounds," she told him. "Nothing serious."

The hell they weren't.

He put two fingers on the bruise, probing softly. "This hurt?"

"No," she answered, voice clear, eyes steady.

He moved his fingers up a little. "Here?"

"No."

A little higher. "And here?

"I'm good."

This time when he moved his fingers, she hissed in through her mouth before he even applied pressure, and when he did, she actually _slapped_ his hand out of the way and covered the point of impact with her arms. But she didn't get him away from it before he felt that the bone under the skin seemed to feel pretty brittle, like it was missing some of its mass. Like it was about to break, or already was broken.

He stared at her hard.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Just a flesh wound, huh? Feels like it goes deeper than that to me."

"It's fine," she grumbled, avoiding his eyes.

"Liar," he mimicked.

"Am not."

"I want you to see Havers."

She sat up really fast, and Rhage noticed the wince she tried to hide from him.

"No," she said in a strong voice.

He met her square in the eye and matched her tone. "Yes."

"What is it with you warrior types? You, Wrath, Vishous, Torment; all of you the same. I'm fine, okay?"

"Not 'okay'. I want to take you to Havers."

"No," she repeated.

"You said I could have my way next time," he reminded her.

"I change my mind,"

He gave her a tight smile. "It doesn't work that way."

She sighed. "I'm happy that you're taking your job seriously, but there would be no point to going to see Havers. It's cutting close to dawn, and by tomorrow night I'll be healed. So don't trip."

He stared at her, trying to discern if she was just being brave about the pain or if she was truly okay. She looked perfectly calm and steady, only a slight bit of pain in her eyes, but it didn't look like she was holding anything down from him. She was okay.

It reminded him of when they had been in the ally and the two fights they'd found afterward. He had always known about her skill level, but he had never seen her in action. But now that he had, he was sure he hadn't and never would see anything more beautiful. While fighting, she looked so in control of herself, so sure and steady, knowing every part of her body and how to use it for the best results in the fight. She also had a graceful, artful air about her while she was fighting. It made her look like she was dancing. It made him want to lay her out away from everyone.

The beast surged inside of him. It did that constantly when she was around him, and it became stronger when the more…explicit thoughts of her crossed his mind. He wondered at that.

"You're okay," he breathed, finally giving in.

"Yeah I am. These cuts aren't bad either," she said, inspecting the slice on her stomach and arms. "They're already sealing themselves up. By mid-day tomorrow they'll be gone."

He nodded, looking away from her.

"Rhage, I'm seriously alright."

"I know," he sighed, and before he could close his damn mouth, he blurted, "I just hate anything hurting you."

She smiled softly. "With you around, nothing can."

That little comment made him go all big dog in the chest, and he was really glad that she seemed to have complete faith in him. But he wondered if she knew that his concern wasn't because he was her _ahstrux nohtrum_. It was because he truly cared about her.

God, he hoped she wasn't reading his mind. She seemed to only care about him as the Promise should her warrior and not as a female for a male. He wasn't taking that kiss at the club for anything but what it was, which was a 'thank you'. And though it frustrated the ever living hell out of him that she didn't seem to care about him the same he did her, it was also kind of a good thing. If she was as attracted to him as he was to her, then there would be nothing to stop him from making a move for her, as Vishous had instructed. And regardless of what V said, it was better that they keep this relationship strictly guardian and charge and didn't add in anything to make this situation sticky. As long as one of them remained clearheaded, i.e. her, they could make sure this stayed what it was supposed to be, and not make a shit storm out of their lives by angering Wrath. He wasn't worried so much about himself, even though he was sure he would get the larger piece of hell out the equation. He just didn't want Shailene to have to stress more than she already did because Wrath was being a jerk.

"And hey, if makes you feel any better I'll call Hansen later, that way I'll be up to par."

Actually that didn't make him feel better at all. Everyone knew Hansen was the male that she drank from. And he _really_ didn't like the idea of her sinking her fangs into another male's throat. The mental picture alone was enough to make him violent, not mention he would probably have to be there when it happened because of his new status. If Rhage was forced to bear witness to such a thing, he wasn't sure he wouldn't end up throwing Hansen through a wall.

"And yeah, tonight was rougher than usually, but it wasn't the worst night of my life," she continued. "Not by a long shot."

Curiosity flared in his chest. He'd known her for a long, long time, but knew nothing about her. He had always wanted to get something personal out of her, but she'd always seemed so reclusive with him, choosing to be closer to V and Phury. Now he had the perfect excuse to talk to her on a deeper level. What better reason to get to know each other than a lifelong protector's oath between them.

"What was the worst night of your life?" he asked. "If you don't mind me asking."

She hesitated, looking uncomfortable.

"It's okay, you don't have to—"

"The night my castle burned down," she answered quickly. "I can't imagine a time that could be more horrific. How my mother prayed for me in the Old Language, her voice was so… hopeless. And the look in my father's eyes as he kissed my forehead the last time and shoved me into that closet and told me to wait for Wrath." Her eyes looked far away, remembering things from centuries ago. "It's one of the only memories that hurt more than anything. I wish I could forget it, and yet I can't bear to lose it. I cling to remember when I feel my mind is going to suppress it."

Rhage was slightly confused. "If it hurts so much, why do you hold on to it?"

"That memory is what motivates me to do my calling as Promise, to always serve and protect. That is what the Scribe Virgin has in store for me and that memory never lets me forget." She looked away from Rhage and smiled softly. "My mother was the first to tell me about myself, though I never really understood until after my transition. They were the last things she told me before she died. She said to always remember how important I am and that the Virgin has special plans for me. I didn't really understand."

"She knew?" Rhage asked incredulously.

"I guess so. It's so important to me to remember those last moments with my family. A lot of what came after in the next few days is a blur and some I have no recollection at all. The only thing that kept me from losing it was Wrath."

"He told me you were his saving grace," Rhage said without thinking.

"Well I guess we saved each other." She looked back at Rhage, her eyes losing that far away, pained look and she sat back farther on the bed, relaxing a bit. "What about you? What was your worst day?"

He didn't even have to think about it. "The first time my beast came out."

"Really? Not when the Scribe Virgin gave it to you?"

"No. I didn't really think she was serious when it happened. And I didn't really understand what the hell was going on. It wasn't until about a week later that I got shot out in the field—"

"I remember," she cut in softly. "They brought you back to Darius'. None of them understood what had happened to you. No one but me and V. We'd both had visions about it but didn't know what to make of it. Until it happened."

Her hand came up slowly, hesitantly, the whole time her eyes clearly asking permission. He didn't stop her as her hand reached around his back and brushed lightly along the beast. He felt her soft touch along his cheek as well as on his back. Inside the beast shifting, energized and soothed at the same time by her touch.

"I've never seen it, you know," she murmured. "I've only seen the after affects. And judging by that, it must hurt a lot."

She was so beautiful in the dancing light from the candle and her voice devastatingly gentle in the quiet, doing wonders on his body and unhinging him even further. Her eyes mesmerized him, but he still had enough sense left over to answer her. "It's not fun. But I'm more than half way through it. Only ninety-one years left to go."

"That's a long time," she breathed, her warm hand still tracing patterns on his back.

"But it's better than forever."

He hadn't noticed that they had been inching closer to each other, and now their faces were just inches apart. A little closer and he'd feel the soft relief that was her lips. He wanted to kiss her again. He wanted to feel more of what she did to him. He wanted her to feel him.

His hand came up to cup her face. Her skin was so fine and delicate and soft.

He was almost to her lips when her hand stopped moving on his back, and that was what broke him out of the spell. She dropped her head, breaking the connection of their eyes, and leaned back, taking her touch with her and away from him. He dropped his hand.

It was in that moment that he realized that she felt it too. Whatever "it" was, it was affecting her as well. She was just really good at hiding it.

_Charge to guardian, charge to guardian, _he chanted to himself. That was the way it needed to be. And she knew it too.

He cleared her throat awkwardly. "And you best day?" he asked, because it was something to say. They needed to break the sexual tension that was sizzling between them.

"The day the Scribe Virgin allowed me to stay with Wrath and not go to the Far Side with the other Chosen," she answered. "I had been fearing that my whole life. Reyna had always told me that it wasn't a bad place at all, but I knew from the beginning, even when I was young, that I wasn't going to be a traditional Chosen like she was. My mother was exactly what the Chosen were supposed to be. I wasn't."

"You were worried about going to Far Side." Rhage chuckled a bit. "That's not very surprising ."

She sneered at him, her good humor back in place. "I wanted to stay with Wrath. We'd already lost our parents, I really don't think either one of us was up to losing each other. Plus, I was right about not being a conventional Chosen. Do you think other Chosen want to go out and fight those disgusting things?"

"You're right," he agreed. Then, with probably more intensity than necessary, he said, "There's no other female out there like you."

She blushed. "What was your best day?"

"When I was inducted into the Brotherhood."

"Really. Not after you transition when you looked in the mirror?"

He hid his pleasure at the compliment by acting offended, because when you thought of it, it was a little backhanded. "How shallow do you think I am?"

She laughed.

"Because you can bet you ass that there's more to me than that," he told her.

"Really, like what?" she challenged.

"Like…" he stalled out. How could he explain.

She laughed some more. "I'm sure you're a very…complex individual," she said with only amusement in his voice, no sarcasm. "And what there is to you, I look forward to figuring it out."

They spent the rest of the night like that, asking each other questions about their lives, learning personal things about the other, and getting to know each other. And as the metal slides came down and the sun started to rise, the only thoughts that came through Rage's mind was, he'd never felt so at peace before this night.


	7. Chapter 7: Meeting

**DISCLAIMER: **The Brothers are J.R. Ward's. I want them, but I will never have them. [Insert curse word here]

Chapter 7: Meeting

Rhage awoke in an unfamiliar state. He was unusually, yet pleasantly warm, and he assumed that was because he had his leathers on from the night before, which was something else to scratch his head at, because he normally slept naked. He was uncomfortable because of this fact, because his morning erection was constricted. He noticed that it was aching more than normal, and he shifted to make more room for it, too tired to get up and strip down. His bed felt different under him, like there was extra weight on it, which he realized, there was, because his arm was tucking something tightly against his chest, something much smaller than him. Softer, too. There was a delicious scent in his nose, and though he wasn't used to smelling it first thing in the morning, it was familiar. It smelled like… raspberries.

Rhage's eyes snapped open and he threw himself off the bed and onto the floor, all remnants of sleep gone; he was completely energized.

It was Shailene in his bed. And as he realized this, the last night came back to him. The two of them sitting on his bed, giving each other the Spanish inquisition. She'd fallen asleep in the middle of their heart to hearts.

That explained why everything seemed so weird waking up. Why his bed had felt different, why he wasn't naked, why he was abnormally warm and why his morning wakeup call was literally _throbbing. _The thing felt like it had its own heartbeat.

"Rhage?" she asked. Even groggy and confused, her voice still managed to be a thing of glory.

"Hey," he said awkwardly.

She looked over to him and a smile that was both confused and amused crossed her face. "What are you doing down there?"

_You confused the living hell out of me_. "I fell."

Her smile got bigger. "Are you okay?"

He certainly was not. His cock was full to bursting and she was exactly what he wanted and needed to relieve the pain. He tried to hide it from her, but it might as well have a voice of its own. And if it had had one, it would be screaming out loud for him to get back on the bed, mount her and so it could do what it did best.

As it was, the bonded male in him was already screaming at him to do just that.

_Woah, wait a minute_—bonded male? Could it be true? Was he bonding with Shailene?

He thought about the strange things he felt whenever she mentioned another male, like Hansen, or when she had been dancing with that human back at the club. It had been jealousy that went through him. Raw, violent jealousy. He thought about how frustrated he got whenever she flippantly mentioned how not-her-concern he was when it came to females. And how worked up he got over her injuries from the fights. He looked closer into the intense desire to get to know her and to get closer to her; last night that had felt essential; It still did.

And finally he thought about the sexual urges he felt for her. In the past, anything remotely sexual he felt for a female was because she was physically appealing and he wanted a quick lay, or because he needed to bring himself and his beast down. But with Shailene it was completely different. He didn't want to have sex with her just for sex sake. He wanted to make love to her. He wanted to lay her out and show every part of her beautiful body the attention it deserved. He wanted to fill her up with what was in him.

Mostly he wanted to mark her. He wanted her to wear his scent like she wore her own skin: twenty-four seven and all over. He wanted her to wear it, and he wanted every male in the world— be him human, vampire, or _lesser_— to smell it on her, so that they would know to stay the fuck away from her.

"Rhage?"

_Yes_, he thought. He was _so_ bonding with her.

Ah, hell.

"I'm fine. I was just surprised," he told her.

She stretched, and he noticed that she never had put her shirt back on from last night. He groaned as both his cock and beast reacted to the sight.

She noticed that. "You sure you're okay?"

No. "I'll be fine as soon as I get a shower."

"Yeah, I could use one, too."

They got up at the same time, him from the floor, her from the messy bed, and walked to their separate doors.

"Rhage," she called, from the door.

He stopped mid-step. "Yeah?"

Her smile was so sweet it made him want her even more. "Last night was great. Thanks for… whatever that was. I really loved just hanging out and talking to you. I hope we can have more moments like that."

He looked away. No female in all his adult years had told him that they appreciated his presence for anything but sex. The fact that Shailene wanted him around for just his company? He wanted to throw his arms around her and hold her forever.

"I feel the same," he replied. And meant it.

"And hurry up in there, we have things to do soon. It's past First Meal, and the boy will be here soon. We slept later than we were supposed to."

He nodded. "I won't take long."

She opened the door and continued on to the bathroom.

"Hi, V," he heard her say. Her voice was upbeat and maybe even a little perky. She greeted V completely casually, as if her walking out of his room topless was no biggie.

He turned just as she walked completely out of the room.

V looked after her for a good five seconds before looking at him incredulously.

Rhage tried to speak before Vishous could jump to conclusions. But he wasn't fast enough and V started jumping. "When I said go for it, I didn't think you would work so fast."

Rhage grunted, only wishing it was like that. "It's not what it looked like."

"Really, is that what you'll tell Wrath if he catches you?"

"Did you smell the bonding scent on her, my brother? We didn't have sex," Rhage admitted grudgingly. "She fell asleep last night and all we did was talk."

"Just because she doesn't smell marked doesn't mean you two _abstained_ last night. You _might_ not have bonded with her." V came and sat on the bed. "But I believe you about the no sex. I know you have bonded with her."

Rhage didn't respond.

"So you just talked to her. You really must have bonded with her."

"Is there a point to you being here?"

"I'm just impressed, is all. And Shailene hates small talk, so I'm going to guess that she talked to you on a more personal level. And if Shailene shared anything important with you, I'm also going to say she cares for you too."

Rhage couldn't resist asking. "How much?"

"She cares enough to worry over you more than she normally would when it comes to fighting. And she cares enough to let you into her mind. So I'd say… enough."

Rhage groaned as Vishous started chortling like an idiot.

"Again, your point?" he snapped.

"I just came because Wrath was wondering why neither of you were at First Meal. He wanted to remind you that Shai has that meeting with Tohrment and the boy that that civilian female found."

"Right." Rhage remembered about the meeting. Tohr had told them about it when they got in from last night. "You can leave now."

V chuckled, running his gloved hand over his face. "You're cranky, my brother. She must have really blue-balled you."

Rhage threw one of the many DVDs from the shelf at him, hitting him square in the chest. "Get. Out."

V left, still laughing his annoying ass off.

Rhage hurried into the shower, hoping the warm water would clear his head of Shai, and let him think straight. But unfortunately, all the gentle spray did was remind him or her hands on him. His cock reacted to the memory and his beast started to buzz.

He closed his eyes. Waking up with her in his bed had done nothing to help his resolve. In fact, it had only made him want to trash the whole thing and tell her the truth. He wanted to do last night again, but instead, they would do more after the talking was done. He would kiss her and keep going until the two of them were panting and she was liquid in his arms, unable to think about anything but what he was doing to her. He wanted to take her in private, no witnesses, no quick bathroom/hallway shit. Nothing but the two of them. He wanted her to grab onto his back with her nails as she orgasmed. And then he wanted to lay beside her and rest a while, before he got up to get her some food. He wanted to eat, then sleep, and wake up and make love again. He wanted the whole thing with her.

But did she want the same?

He was sure she was attracted to him, but that didn't mean that she visualized all that he did. On the track that he was on, he had a whole future for them rolled out. What if she was determined to get over whatever she felt for him, and keep things the way they were supposed to be?

Even though he wasn't sure if he was going to act on his feelings in anyway, it would still hurt if she was resigned to the _ahstrux nohtrum_ thing instead of him being something… more. Yeah, he could see the pain he would suffer through for God only knows how long if she rejected him. And if he was going to admit that he wanted her badly enough that her refusal would crush him, he would might as well admit to himself that he was no longer just in _danger_ of falling for Shailene.

Part of him couldn't believe how fast his feelings for her had changed. For all the decades he had known her, there had been nothing more than just innocent attraction on his side. Now there was a bond.

But he'd heard that was how it worked. He remembered what it had been like when Wrath had met Beth. A male bonded fast, hard, nothing logical, just primordial instincts, the strongest being to physically possess the object of their obsession.

The marking instinct was definitely at work here.

Though it was surprising to see himself this way, he should have expected this. Shailene was proving to be irresistible and he should have known it was only a matter of time before things started to change for him.

Rhage tried to turn off his brain long enough to wash himself, but once again he was reminded of Shailene's soft, gentle hands on him.

He took himself in his hand and started stroking, remembering the light patterns she had traced across his back and how he'd felt them all over his body. He remembered the look of her stretched out for him, and most of all he recalled the way she had kissed him at the club. Her lips moving with his, her body fluid against him…

That was enough to do it. He orgasmed hard and long.

Right. Time for wash number two.

By the time he got out of the shower, he had been in there for at least an hour, so he was quick to dress and go to Shai's room.

"Come in, Rhage," she called when he got to her door. Not that he'd knocked.

He opened the door and stalled out again.

Holy, fuck she was gorgeous. She was wearing a white dress that managed to look classy— the skirt of it going almost to her knees, and the top covering most of her chest—and sexy—it hugged her whole body, clinging to her curves, and it showed just a hint of cleavage—at the same time. Her dark, wavy curly, hair was a water fall around her shoulders and down her back. She was glorious. Enough to bring him to his knees.

So much for his release in the shower. He tried to hide the tent in the front of his pants.

"You know it's cold out there," he said lamely.

"Not today. It was abnormally warm out today. sixty-eight degrees today and it's fifty-four now. Plus we're off rotation tonight. So I'm fine in this." She did a little twirl. "Plus, this makes me feel pretty."

Rhage wanted to snort; as if she needed a dress to look _pretty_. "Are you ready to go down? We should eat before the boy comes."

"John. His name is John."

"Did Tohr tell you that?"

"No, I had a vision about him last week. I saw him coming."

Rhage wondered if her psychic abilities would ever stop amazing him.

"And after we meet with John, I need to go to Hansen to feed. Do you mind?"

He did, actually. He minded very much. In fact he was working on not growling like the beast was inside of him.

Hansen. The male she's been feeding from since forever. The male who feeds from her. Not a good mental picture for him to have if he intended to leave the bastard alive. That raw possessiveness overcame him again. The beast started to lose it. That shit, the drinking, was about to end.

"How long have you been with Hansen?" he asked in a hard voice.

She didn't seem to pick up on his mood, busy tidying up the clean room. "I'm not _with _him, though that was what my parents had in mind when they promised me to him. I've been feeding from him since I transitioned, but I never really took to him the way I maybe was expected to. I'm lucky to have him. He's a great friend, but he's not my _the one_."

Damn straight he wasn't. _You're_ _mine_. "Why do you think it never happened?"

"We're just not a good match in that sense of the word." She laughed softly. "I guess Wrath and I are somewhat alike. Neither of us exactly what we were supposed be: him the grudging king, me the unconventional Chosen. And neither of us much into who our parents picked out for us."

He was glad to hear that Shai had no intentions of getting serious with Hansen, but he still didn't like the idea of her drinking from anyone but… him.

_Mine_, he thought again. By this point he didn't even try to shut himself off when he thought of the word and her together.

"Anyways, can we go to him later? I'm feeling kinda off. I haven't fed in—"

"You don't need Hansen," he said before he could even think to stop himself. Like hell he was going to take her to another male.

She looked confused for a second, but there was also a knowing look in her eye. "What are you saying?"

Rhage walked over to the little couch by the window of her room and sat in it.

"You can use me if you want."

"Oh…" she said, shell-shocked. "I don't know…if we should."

Rhage didn't take her resistance as an insult. Her raspberry scent grew stronger and louder. It permeated the room and her fangs elongated in her mouth, and seeing them together fueled his arousal for her.

"What's wrong with you using me as a vein? You're in need and I'm offering. What have we got to lose." He knew the answer to that one, and he guessed that she did too. They had something to lose, the shaky tranquility between them, their fluctuating resolve. But they also had a lot of things to gain. A lot of enticing, dangerous things. Even knowing all they stood to gain and lose, he would never turn away. He sure as hell was willing if she was.

He knew that offering this was in no way going to help him keep what they had between them just professional. He was bonded, and maybe if he stayed clinical with her, he could ignore that. But letting her drink from him would only drive the bond between them farther into no-return land. It was incredibly stupid that he should be doing this.

But at the moment, looking at her with the torn desire on her face and in her hot eyes, he couldn't give less of a shit.

He would never turn away from her.

There was silence, and then she right in front of him. "You're sure?"

He didn't need to think about it. "Yes."

He held out his hand for her, an invitation that she took with very little hesitation. When she took his arm and turned up his wrist, as if she intended to drink from the vein there, he realized that wasn't what he wanted. He wrapped his hand around her wrist and pulled her forward, so that she fell onto his lap and into his arms.

There was no question of what he wanted. And she took the hint right away.

Her hands went to his neck, turning his head to the angle that would give her the best access. He felt one of those beautiful fangs slide up his throat, along that vital vein of his. It was enough to get his erection pumping. His hands cranked down on her waist in anticipation, and her fangs sank in.

Rhage could not help the moan that slipped out of his mouth at the first erotic pull on his vein. He crushed her against him, grinding his erection into her stomach.

Something landed on it and every muscle in his body went rigid. Seeing as he knew where both his hands were, there was only one other option to what it could be.

Her hand made a slide down his erection, stroking it through his leathers, and he was surprised the rest of the household didn't come rushing up at the loud groan he let out. And when both her hands went to his fly and unzipped it, he popped out into her grip. He didn't moan so much as roar.

She didn't stop the stroking. Her fingers focused on the sensitive tip, circling it, massaging gently, bringing him to the point of begging. He was desperate, needy, out of control and far from rational. She was taking him to highest level of ecstasy, yet torturing him. Taking him to heaven, yet dragging him through hell at the same time.

Then she grabbed on to him, wrenching him slightly, and that's when he felt his lower back tighten, like it always did before he orgasmed. But it wasn't until her hands brushed his balls underneath his shaft that it all became too much, the orgasm came bulleting through him, to strong and powerful and hard to control in any way.

The whole time, she didn't let up with the drinking or the stroking, helping him ride out the waves that shook his body. And when it was over, there was no moment of rest, no moment of relaxation. One second she was sitting in the cradle of his hips, his legs spread to accommodate her boy, and then they were on the floor, because there wasn't enough room for him to lay her out on the couch. He was on top of her, kissing her roughly, his hands pulling that dress up around her waist. In the back of his mind he was afraid that he was being too rough with her, but she was right there with him. Her hands were around on his back, grabbing at the fabric of his shirt, wrenching it up so she could get to his skin. Her legs wrapped around his waist and her hips tilted up, rubbing against his erection. The hot, wet feel of her sweet core on his erection almost pushed him of the edge again.

She moaned his name, loudly, and it set off a five alarm fire across his skin. He was completely stripped of whatever civility that he pretended to have around her, consumed with the taking of her. He wanted her. He needed her. He was going to have her.

* * *

Shailene couldn't feel, see, hear, smell, taste, or even think about anything that wasn't Rhage. She was

completely taken over by the hard, strong male body that was pressing into her and she loved it,

relished it, wouldn't trade it for anything.

She was also waiting, waiting for Rhage to fill her with that hard and thick arousal she could feel grinding into her. She had loved the feel of it in her hands, so warm and the skin on the outside so soft, yet it was _hard_. Hard for her. She was desperate for it, her breasts aching at the tips, her core welling up. She was way more than ready for him. All she could think about was him taking her, and her letting him.

The reasons for why they shouldn't do this were nothing but white noise in her brain, meaningless and unimportant.

Shailene shivered when she felt his thumbs hook through the lacy panties she had on under the dress, and she yielded to him so that he could pull them all the way down and get them out of the way. She didn't care about consequences and responsibilities. All that mattered to her was that Rhage wanted her as much as she wanted him and now they could give into their desires.

She groaned into his mouth when she felt his arousal nudge into her, her innards giving way to him as he found the threshold to her.

Yes. _Yes_.

He almost in when there was knock on the door. They froze at the same time.

The knock came again.

"Shai," Tohrment called from the other side. "Hey, Shai, you in there?"

She stared into Rhage's eyes, debating whether or not to answer.

"I'm here," she called back looking to the door. She hoped he couldn't hear how breathless she was.

She hadn't wanted to separate her lips from Rhage's long enough to breath.

"Hurry up with whatever it is you're doing," he instructed. "John and Bella will be here in half an hour, and I want to go over some things first."

Right. The pretrans and the civilian female who had found him. She'd forgotten about that. Hell, she'd forgotten about the whole world outside this room.

"I just got out of the shower," she lied. "I'll be out soon and I'll meet you in your office when I'm done."

"Okay." With that, they heard his footsteps retreat.

Reality came rushing back to her and she couldn't believe where she and Rhage had ended up, or _would_ have if Tohr hadn't stopped them.

She looked back into Rhage's intense eyes. No words passed between them, but the communication through their eyes was enough. He rolled off of her.

As they righted themselves by putting their clothes back on properly, something registered to her.

There was a new scent in the air; a dark, spicy, sensual scent was everywhere, no other scents registering.

Her eyes widened at him. It couldn't be what she thought it was. It wasn't possible.

When he saw her shocked expression, he got up and walked to the door.

"Rhage—" she tried.

"I'll see you when you're done your meeting. I'm going to find something to eat."

"You're not coming with me to the—"

"No."

"But Rhage—"

"Later Shailene."

He left at that, leaving her sitting on her side, alone, in the room that was full of his bonding scent.

The bonding scent. He'd bonded. With _her_.

_Oh, shit_.

Where did they go from here. He was bonded with her and she liked that. Very much.

But could it really happen so fast? Could his feelings for her really have changed so much, so soon?

Well the answer was obvious. The memory of Wrath and Beth when they had just met, and already he had been obsessed with claiming her came back to her. Hell, she had known that he'd bonded with her before it even registered fully with him, and that had taken only a little over twenty-four hours. She remembered before that, to when Darius had found that human female that no one had known about until twenty-five years later. Darius had known the consequences; Shailene had warned him, and he hadn't listened because he was in love. She remembered the stories that her father Wrath had told her when she was young. Some of them had been told to prepare her for when she met and fell in love with a male, and what would happen when he loved her back. He had described when he had met Reyna, her mother, and from what she understood, the emotions had been pretty intense.

And from what she'd seen and felt from Rhage, it was true.

God, she couldn't believe how far they had gone. One more second, that's all it would have taken, just one more second and Rhage would have entered her. And if she was being honest with herself, she would say that she had started it; she had been the one to initiate the sexual explosion that had almost occurred by putting her hand where she had. It hadn't even been a mistake, or an accident, it had been a decision, one that she shouldn't have made, but had all the same. She wasn't sure exactly what had made her do it. All she knew was that she'd seen it when he walked into her bedroom , though he had tried to hide it from her, and her body had immediately responded to it. So when his body had been so close to her, she'd taken the opportunity to do as she wanted.

She wanted to curse realizing that this was the second time she'd done this: last night at ZeroSum, and then just now. There had also been a moment last night in his room where she had been _this_ close to kissing him again. She'd wanted it. She'd wanted to kiss him. A lot. So she had at ZeroSum and it had been great. But was it right?

For one thing, she wasn't sure she was cut out to pursue any kind of relationship. Her _mahmen_ and papa had told her one day she would get mated and it would be the best day of her life. Of course her father had been more grudging when it had come to explaining this part of the future. They had explained that she was promised to a male and together they would live a life full of love and happiness. But Shailene hadn't been interested in males and matings and all the traditional things a female of worth in the _glymera_ should want. She had been too worried about the whole Chosen and Far Side thing.

Second of all, she had always expected her _mahmen_ and papa to be here for these things and they would be if the circumstances were different. Doing any of these things without them just felt wrong.

And another was Rhage's tendencies. She knew all about the females and the sex. She had spoken to him about it last night, and she had acted like she didn't give a rat's ass about whom he fucked, but that had been a lie. She cared an awful lot that he had sex with random females. And when she thought about all the females he had been with, she grew uncomfortable and nervous, two emotions she was unfamiliar with, fearing that she wouldn't be enough for him. She'd only ever had sex with one person, and that had been Hansen, during her needings and a in the early stages of their relationship, when she had been open minded to giving _them_ a chance. One male, that was it and it had never bothered her, and still didn't. And given his experience level, did she really want to be with Rhage? Could she trust him to commit to her alone? Because she sure as hell wasn't the type to share. In the moment between them, the thin veil of air separating them crackling with electricity, it had been that mental picture, the one of Rhage covered in female skin that had stopped her from kissing him again last night.

And what about her calling? She was the Promise, she had a duty to her people and a male would seriously get in the way of that. She was a healer, a protector, she taught at the schools, she was made for her race. It was what she had been born to do and once she had found out about it, it had been all she'd wanted to do. Would a mate be a good idea to add to her life? Would he distract her? Would he get in the way? She had never felt the need to think about such things.

It shouldn't be this hard, she decided. If being with Rhage was meant to be, there wouldn't be so much to think through and stress about. So the answer was obvious.

She shifted her position to sitting on her knees, looking around the big, beautiful room that was hers. All the things she loved were in here and Rhage could very well become one of them, but she would put the brakes on that, like, a-sap. She led a complicated life, and Lord knew so did Rhage. Putting them together more then was necessary was just asking for trouble. And Rhage would get over it, and so would she. She would get over this crippling attraction and things could get its normal back on. She _would._

But that was all stuff to worry about later on. As of right now, she had a life to save, and to do that she had a meeting to go to.

* * *

"I think our ride is here, John," Bella said to him at nine o'clock on the dot.

He looked outside her window and saw the Mercedes that was pulled up against the curb in front of Bella's house. _Holy crap_, he thought. _Those blackened windows look bullet proof_.

He couldn't even begin to explain how excited he was. He'd been hoping with anticipation the whole day and now the moment was finally here. He was going to meet these martial arts gurus Bella had raved about.

The only thing that was off was Bella. She was on edge, anxious, and even a little jumpy. He couldn't figure out what was with her mood, and when he'd asked her about it she said she just hadn't slept well the night before, but she didn't seem sleep deprived. She had been the one to voice this idea and it had come through, so why wasn't she as excited as he was?

The two made of them made their way out from Bella's house and over to the stunner of a car. A little old man, dressed in back livery, came out from the driver's side to greet them. He was cheery as all get out, all teeth and smiles. With his skin loose on his face and his droopy earlobes, he looked like a candle that was cannibalizing itself: melting. But with the radiant aura he had going on, it seemed that the whole disintegrating state wasn't a bad place to be.

"I am Fritz," he said, bowing deeply to them. "Please allow me to drive you."

Bella was the first in and John slid in next to her. A slam of the door and they were hitting the road.

As they glided along, John tried to see where they were going through the windows, but they were too tinted to really see through. For the first time since Bella had told him about this place, he wondered where they were going.

_Bella, where are we going?_ he wrote on his pad and then showed it to her. Bella had told him that the pad and pen routine wouldn't be necessary for when he met the people, but he brought his means of communication with him just in case.

"It's not far," she answered quickly, still a bit shifty.

_Do you know where we're going?_

"Sure I do." She smiled at now. "We're going to meet the most spectacular males you'll ever see."

Well, those weren't the answers he'd been looking for but who the hell cared about exact geography?

He trusted Bella, and though she seemed a bit shaky, he knew that she wouldn't steer him wrong.

About twenty minutes later, they slowed, then sped back up, then slowed down a bit again. This happened a number of times at regular intervals. Eventually they got to a point where Fritz put down his window and spoke into an intercom in a language John didn't understand. After cruising along for a little while, they came to another stop, but this time, the engine turned off.

The driver, Fritz, came around immediately and opened their door for them, still smiling like a friendly version of the joker.

"Follow me, if you please," he said formally, leading the way.

They followed Fritz through what looked like an underground parking lot, but instead of cars, there were two large buses, like the ones you saw at airports. They went through a pair of metal doors that opened into a maze of fluorescent-lit corridors that branched out into a bunch of different hallways. As John looked at all the different possibilities to go through, the thought _thank God this guy knows where __he's going._

After walking a little ways, they were shown to a small room with one metal table, five chairs pulled up to it, and a two-sided mirror.

It was just like the police interrogation rooms you see in _Law & Order _and other police shows.

Maybe this wasn't such a hot idea.

"You will not be kept waiting long," the little old man said as he left.

John looked at Bella. _What is this place_?

"A facility. You know, for training," she said reassuringly.

_This doesn't look like a martial arts facility_, he told her, starting to feel a little nervous.

"John, don't worry about anything. I'm here with you and there is nothing to worry about."

He believed her, and tried to calm himself down.

Just then, the door opened and a man walked in the room.

Oh, but this wasn't just any man. He was big. And by big, he meant _tremendous_. He had the look of a soldier, the way his hair was cut and his face was harsh and serious and didn't look all into the warm fuzzies type of thing; those dark blue eyes were intense and hard. His arms and legs were huge, the muscles cut sharp and… well, huge. Plus he was the height of a skyscraper. John had never seen a man like him before.

John immediately feared him, and wanted to run from the room like he was training for the Olympics.

But then another person walked in, and John's brain shorted out, making him forget about his fear for a moment. The women who walked into the room was something else altogether. She must be an alien, an angel, or maybe she was just a figment of his imagination. She was tall, easily six feet, and she had the longest legs he'd ever seen on anything that wasn't a giraffe. Her body was willowy and elegant in the white-as-snow dress she was wearing and complemented her tan dark skin. Her midnight hair was coiled up casually into a curly/wavy ponytail. But it was her eyes that struck him most. They were a pale green, but instead of looking washed out, they looked like crystals. There was something eerie about them as well; she looked at him with a knowing, powerful feel about her, like she knew something about him that he didn't even know himself. But he soon realized it wasn't just in her eyes. It radiated from all parts of her. She seemed larger than life, too good to be true, and she held herself like she had the world at her fingertips, like the universe was hers and everyone else was just lucky to be living in it.

John felt like he was looking at a miracle, the most beautiful miracle.

He turned to Bella, to see if these two magnificent beings were really here.

Bella had her head bowed low, and she spoke in a grave voice. "M'lady, it is an honour it to meet you and the Brother that I stand before."

What was up with that?

The woman's perfect full lips stretched into a glorious smile. She stepped forward with an out stretched had. When she spoke, it was like listen to a perfect piano chord and the chime of a pure silver bell.

"Bella," she said happily as Bella shook her hand. "I'm so happy we got your call." Then her attention turned to John. "John, right?" she asked with a slight accent.

He nodded like an idiot.

"My name is Shailene, and this Tohrment." She held her hand out for him to shake now, and he was at total disbelief that he was allowed to touch something so magnificent. But then Tohrment stepped forward as well, offering his own hand.

John stalled out, and the two of them smirked. "You don't need to be afraid, John. Tohr here, he looks like a big bully, but you can trust him."

Tohrment smiled even wider.

John shook his hand. Timidly.

"So Bella tells us you have some interest in martial arts. That true?" the man asked.

_Oh yeah_, John signed without thinking. _Ever since I can I remember. _But then he realized they probably couldn't understand him and reached for his pen and pad.

But before John could write anything down, he heard Shailene's slightly accented voice. "That's very interesting. And if that's the case then we have some questions to ask you."

The man turned to Bella. "I want you to wait in the hall. We'll talk to you later."

"But—" Bella started to protest.

"That wasn't a request," he said in an even tone.

Bella stared at them for a moment, then looked at John for a moment. She stared into his eyes hard, as if trying to convey a message and John could see something there, but she looked away before he could identify it.

Bella left a second later.

"Take a seat," Tohrment offered as the two of them took ones of their own.

He sat across from them.

"How are you John?"

He signed, and Shailene spoke to him. "He's says 'I'm fine sir. How are the two of you?'"

"We're good son, we're good. Why don't you tell us where you grew up."

John moved his hands, then Shailene started talking. "He says, 'here in Caldwell. First in an orphanage, then in the Foster care system.' What about your parents, John. Do you know anything about them?"

He signed some.

"What's he saying?" Tohrment asked. He looked completely casual, one arm slung over the back of his chair, one foot resting on the other knee, face and voice friendly, but his eyes were as hard as the sapphires they resembled.

"He said he wasn't born in a hospital, and he was found alone, so there's no record of them."

There was silence as Shailene and Tohrment looked at each other and seemed to have a silent conversation.

They turned back to him. "Bella told us you have a bracelet with some designs on it," Shailene said.

"Can we see it?"

John held out his tiny wrist for them. When Shailene breathed, "It's beautiful," he couldn't help the blush that bloomed across his face.

"Did you make she asked?" she asked.

John nodded.

"Where did you get the idea for the design?"

John signed a bit.

"You dream of the design?" She looked at Tohrment again. "Now that's interesting," she murmured to him.

The man's eyes focussed on John again. "You mind telling us about your dream?"

John paused for a moment. What did this have to do with martial training? And why were his dreams so important to them? What would they think if he told them? Would they think he was a freak? Would this ruin his chances of finally becoming a man?

As if she had read his mind, Shailene said. "You can tell us the truth. We won't judge you, John, I promise."

She was so reassuring, so trustworthy, that John couldn't help but follow what she said.

He started signing, and Shai started talking whilst he did, her voice confused, yet somehow knowing at the same time. "He says he's in a dark place, kneeling in front of an altar. There's writing on a marble looking wall behind it. On the wall, there's writing, hundreds of lines of writing in the black marble. He walks over to the wall and touches one part of the writing. And no matter how many times he has this dream it's always this piece of writing." Shailene and Tohrment looked at each other. "This is the writing that's in his bracelet."

The man frowned, while the women looked… fascinated.

John blushed, and the man hurried to erase his anxiety. "Don't worry about it, son, you're good."

There was a pause then he asked, "Is there anything else about yourself that makes you feel like you're not exactly the same as other people around you?"

John paused, wondering if he should tell them anything more.

"Please be honest with us," she said to him, seeking out her eyes.

Well, he had no choice, did he? They could obviously see that there was something about him the same things he'd been sensing in himself for as long as he could remember. Plus, Shailene was doing that whole knowing thing again, and he got the sense that if he lied to them, they would know.

So he started unbuttoning his shirt, before he lost his nerve. They both took sharp intakes of breath when his chest was bare, and at first he thought they were disgusted with how skinny he was, how small his chest was, how he looked like ten year old.

But they weren't focused on his size.

Both of them leaned into him, inspecting the circular, star shaped scar above his left pectoral. "Where did you get that?" Tohrment demanded, finally sounding looked the nightmare he looked like. Shai put a hand on his chest as if to calm him.

John trembled.

"I'm sorry, son," he said earnestly in a softer voice, knowing that he scared John. "I didn't mean to scare you. But we do need your answer."

John took a deep breath, signed, and then looked expectantly at Shailene.

"You were born with it," she said skeptically. "Anything else you want to tell us?"

His hand flew in front of him.

She sat back in her chair, looking stunned.

"What is it?" Tohrment asked.

"He says he dreams of fangs and blood and biting. Of pale-haired men and fighting. And, of course, daggers."

Tohrment fell into the same stunned silence she had.

What did all that mean? Was it good, was it bad? What were they thinking?

They looked at each other and broke off into the secret language the little old man had used earlier.

He got even more anxious as Shailene nodded gravely at Tohrment, and then turned back to John.

"Give me your hand, John," she commanded, and he was hard pressed to refuse anything she asked him. There was something about her that compelled him to do whatever she wanted. She calmed his anxieties and made him want to answer all her questions, and that must be why it was so easy for him to get so personal with these strangers

He placed his hand in her soft, warm one. She shut her eyes, and breathed deeply.

And John felt like he was going through a whirlpool back into his past. The term "life flashed before my eyes" had only occurred in John's life once before, but it had not been like this. He felt like he was caught in a hurricane, or tornado as he was whipped through the different scenes of his life, form his time in that orphanage, and he saw all his foster homes from a different point of view, and he watched himself working at the different restaurants and diners as a bystander. It was like nothing John had ever felt before.

As Shailene let go of his hand, he came out of whatever weird tail spin that had been. He felt out of

breath and like he had whiplash.

What. The. Hell.

"Oh, Tohr," Shailene breathed. "I saw it from the beginning. He has no idea."

They spoke to each other in that strange language again. What was going on _now_? What was that?

Shailene looked at him, her face exceptionally satisfied for some reason. "John, are you interested, in training here with us?" she asked. After all the weird stuff they'd been talking about, to the reason he'd come here, martial arts training, sounded completely irrelevant.

_I am. Are you in charge here_? He asked, though going by the look of her, so beautiful and delicate, he found it easier to believe the boss position belonged to the monster sitting beside her.

"Yes, John, I am, and I'm happy to hear you're interested in us."

John was full of elation like certain balloons were full of hot air. But as usual, his bubble had to be burst by his financial situation.

_But I have no money_, he signed.

She waved that away like it was a fruit fly. Tohrment asked what he'd said and Shai answered.

"I'm sure we can figure something out," she told him. "You're very special, John. Very special."

They were both smiling at him, and again, he felt like they were looking through him, seeing things about him that he couldn't see himself.

But for once, he didn't feel weaker or violated by that feeling. He felt… at home with these people. Like understood him and knew what he was going through, and could give him exactly what he needed in order to help him.

* * *

So tell me what you think! Do you have any ideas? If you're reading this story, anything you have to say, whether it's good or bad, is appreciated. So comment, _comment_, COMMENT! Thank you!


	8. Chapter 8: Adventure

The song lyrics that are posted to mine also don't belong to me. Lifehouse owns this song and but it makes perfect sense for this chapter, and i love the song! The acoustic version. It's better than the original.

Hanging by a moment

Desperate for changing  
Starving for truth  
I'm closer to where I started  
Chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you  
Letting go of all I've held onto  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking  
Completely incomplete  
I'll take your invitation  
You take all of me now...

I'm falling even more in love with you  
Letting go of all I've held onto  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you  
I'm living for the only thing I know  
I'm running and not quite sure where to go  
And I don't know what I'm diving into  
Just hanging by a moment here with you

There's nothing else to lose  
There's nothing else to find  
There's nothing in the world  
That can change my mind  
There is nothing else  
There is nothing else  
There is nothing else

Desperate for changing  
Starving for truth  
I'm closer to where I started  
Chasing after you...

I'm falling even more in love with you  
Letting go of all I've held onto  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you  
I'm living for the only thing I know  
I'm running and not quite sure where to go  
And I don't know what I'm diving into  
Just hanging by a moment here with you

Just hanging by a moment (here with you)  
Hanging by a moment (here with you)  
Hanging by a moment here with you

I love this song. *swoon*. "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane came in as a close second and deserves an honourable mention.

**DISCLAIMER: **These characters are not mine, though I do a damn good of a job making it seem like they are. They belong to J.R. Ward.

Also one of the scenes in this chapter is very similar to a scene in the book. Can you guess which one it is? Well, it's just a heads up, and that scene as well belongs to the WARDen.

Chapter 8: Adventure

Bella stood outside the room in the corridor, wishing desperately that she was in there with John. She wanted to protect him from whatever they were going to do to him in there because she didn't have the slightest idea herself. But when a Black Dagger Brother told you to do something, you had no choice but to consent. And if the Promise was there? There was no thought in your mind to refuse.

The Promise. Bella was in total awe of Shailene. She had never met her before, but had heard many things from people who had. She was very public in their race, teaching the young in the schools, volunteering at Havers' clinic as a healer, participating in _Princeps_ council meetings, and now since Wrath ascending to the throne, a keeper to the Brotherhood. And all the rumors about her, how she was the most awe-inspiring thing out there, how she was an ethereal being, were true as far as Bella could see. She hadn't spent a lot of time with Shailene, but she could tell there wasn't another female like her out there.

But she was still uncomfortable leaving John alone with unfamiliar people. She wanted to be in there with him. But the Brother Tohrment had given her the boot and here she was, standing outside the room— braiding her hair, which was a habit she picked up and did when she was nervous—like the kid who got kicked out of class for being a nuisance.

Not able to take the suspense any longer, she picked a random direction and started wandering. When she heard a rhythmic pounding off in the distance, she followed the sound until she got to a pair of metal doors.

The gymnasium that was inside was the size of a pro-basketball court. There were blue mats placed around the area here and there, and there was a stadium seating balcony that jutted out from the wall to the left of the room, and under the overhang, there punching bags hanging from it.

But what really caught her attention was the source of the beating sound that had drawn her to the room. There was a male there, punching the crap out of one of the bags. Bella couldn't see his face but he must be attractive. His hair was a skull trim, and he was wearing a black, skin tight turtleneck, and a baggy pair of nylon sweats and a holster was strapped around his body. He was lithe as he moved, dancing around on the balls of his feet as he pummeled the bag, and even though she knew absolutely nothing about fighting in any way, she could tell that everything about his form was perfect, from his stance, to the way his fist snapped out to hit the bag again and again.

The door snapped shut behind her.

From out of nowhere that Bella could see, a black dagger appeared in his hand and with the strike of his arm, he buried the bagger into the bed. He ripped the thing open and the sand and padding spilled out of it. He spun around.

Bella clapped a hand over her mouth. The fighter's face was brutally scarred, as if someone had tried to cut it in half. It started at his forehead, came down the bridge of his nose, and curved down his cheek. The thick line ended at the side of his mouth, distorting his upper lip.

He took her in with narrowed, black, cold-as-night eyes. When he looked at her, really looked at her, his eyes widened a bit. He seemed nonplussed, his big body stock-still except for his breathing.

He wanted her, Bella thought. And he wasn't sure what to do about it.

But it wasn't long before the confused look that he'd been wearing was buried and a vicious expression took its place. She backed away from him, keeping her eyes on him at all times, until she got to the door again. She pumped the release bar over and over, but it wouldn't give, and when she got nowhere, she had a feeling it was this terrifying male keeping the door locked, trapping her inside with him.

She flattened herself against the door as he came stalking over to where she stood trembling in fear. He flipped the dagger in the air over and over , catching it as it came down, then not even waiting a second before tossing it up again as he came to her. It was as if he was trying to show her how easy it was for him to control and manipulate the dagger's movement.

She shivered a little more fiercely.

"Don't know what you're doing here, other than fucking up my workout," he said in a low voice. As his eyes looked over her, she could practically feel his hostility towards her, but he was also throwing something else off, a raw heat, a kind of sexual menace that that really shouldn't have attracted her.

She tried to explain herself. "I'm sorry, I didn't know…"

"Didn't know what, female?" he demanded.

Dear Lord, he was so close now. And he was so much bigger than she was. She tried to make herself disappear.

"I'm sorry—"

When he got to her, he punched his fists into the metal on either side of her head, leaning into her. She noticed that his dagger was _really_ close to her face. Like alarmingly close. But she forgot about that when she felt his chest brush against hers ever so lightly. He stopped leaning into her just before their bodies really connected.

Bella took a deep breath and all she smelt was him. His scent was more of a fire in her nose. She felt herself responding to scent, warming, wanting. His face was so close to hers that she had to either turn her head or smack lips with him. Then beg for more.

"You're sorry," he said. "I bet you are."

His head tilted to the side, eyeing her neck. He smiled, a cruel, nasty curl of his lips, and as his fangs were exposed, she couldn't help but notice that they were very long and white. And sharp.

"I am. I am very sorry."

"Prove it."

"How?" she croaked.

"Get on your hands and knees. We'll see how sorry you are from there."

The doors on the other side of the door burst open.

"Oh, for Christ sakes," an exasperated female voice said.

"Let her go, Z!" a male voice shouted.

"Hands off of her, Z," Shailene commanded in a strong voice. "Right now."

As they approached, the male leaned even closer into her than before, their bodies actually making brief contact. There was no room for escape.

They were right behind him now, but she could tell only because their voices sounded louder, not because she could see them. She couldn't see anything past this magnificent male.

"Z, come on," the male said.

He leaned down and his lips came close to her ear. She felt something press into her sternum, right between her breasts. A fingertip.

"You just got saved female," he snarled.

"Right now, Zsadist!" Shailene yelled.

Zsadist's body disappeared from hers, and when she looked to where he was, she saw him facing off with the Promise, and she felt a lick of fear for the female. But Shailene wasn't backing down form him. She didn't even seem scared. As the huge male towered over her, looking down on her, she stood very close to him, looking him straight in the eye, ready to take on whatever he had for her. Shailene held her ground strong and steady and if Bella had been impressed by her before, it was nothing compared to what she felt now.

The other male in the room tugged on his arm, but Zsadist didn't move. He stood there, staring down the Promise, a nasty snarl on his lips.

"Phury," she said in a calm voice, her eyes never leaving Zsadist's face, "get him out of here."

"Let's go, Z," he urged, tugging his arm again.

Zsadist kept his eyes on Shailene, never looking away from her.

Shailene's voice was low and threatening when she spoke again. "Leave, Zsadist. Now."

One more second of glaring, then Zsadist ripped his arm out of Phury's hand, and stalked away to the exit that Shailene and Phury came through. Phury followed him.

"Are you okay?" Shailene asked when the two of them were alone. Now that Zsadist was gone and she was talking to Bella, her voice was a lot gentler.

Bella wasn't sure how to answer the question. She couldn't really breathe and she wasn't sure if that was from fear or something altogether sexual. She figured it was probably both.

"Bella?"

"I'm fine. Who was that?"

Shailene guided her outside and back through the corridor she'd come from.

"That was the Black Dagger Warrior Zsadist. And I would advise you stay away from him. At least… for now," she said, but she didn't sound exactly confident with the instruction. Her tone was unsure.

"Why? And what do you mean by 'for now'?"

It didn't escape Bella's notice that Shailene avoided her eyes. "I can't explain now," she said eyeing Bella curiously. But the expression didn't last long. "Let's get back to John."

"Where is he?" Bella asked, suddenly recalling the boy's existence.

"He's with Tohr. You two are free to leave now."

They got back to the interrogation room, but Bella stopped before Shailene could open the door. "What's going to happen to him?" she asked nervously.

Shailene's expression changed yet again, but this time it was to compassion. "You did the right thing in calling us when he found you. And we're going to make sure John is taken care of."

That relieved a lot of the stress that had been weighing on Bella's shoulders. John would be taken care of. This was good.

But as if her stress scale had to be kept balanced, the warrior from the gym came back to her mind. And she had a feeling he was going to stay there.

* * *

"And you're sure about him?" Wrath asked.

Shailene nodded confidently. She was past sure and straight into dead certain. "I'm sure Wrath. There's something about him, and I couldn't tell what it was exactly, but there's definitely something. He's special." She looked to Tohr, who was standing right next to her in Wrath's study. "Did you feel it?"

"Yeah, I did," Tohr said, backing her up. "He has the dreams, and that bracelet… He's one of us."

"Well if you're sure than I have no problem letting him join the trainee class, if that's what you want," Wrath said.

"That is what I want. I want him with us," she told him.

"Then what do we do next?"

"Tohr, I want you to get to him. Get him to trust you, and introduce our world to him. He truly thinks that vampires are only things of horror stories, movies, and his dreams. He has no idea that we exist."

"You want me to do it?" he asked skeptically.

Shai smiled. "Yes. You're the one who has to do this. I've seen it."

Tohr cursed softly. "Guess I have no choice."

As Wrath and Tohrment continued on with their plans for the trainee class of soldiers for the Brotherhood, she couldn't get her mind off the one specific boy. John Matthew gave her a vibe that she'd never felt before. He wasn't like the other pretrans males she and Tohr had met with for the program. He was something more; he may even be a full blooded warrior. She hadn't been able to get that much from him, like who his parents were and what had happened to them, but she knew he wasn't the average male. He was just as she said—special.

And she would figure out what it was about him. Why he struck her as different, and why she couldn't see everything about him; that last part was something terrifyingly new. She'd never not been able to see everything about a person, and something about John Matthew was not coming through to her, but she would get find out what it was, and everything that was unclear would see the light.

"We're ready, then. The trainee class can start on schedule," Tohr concluded.

What timing the male had. But whether she was talking about Tohrment or her protector, she wasn't sure.

Because it was at that exact moment that Rhage came to stand in the study's door way.

She looked over to him, and she couldn't remember the last time she'd been more mixed feeling-ed about seeing a person. Part of her was extremely glad that Rhage had come looking for her instead of avoiding her, because if she was in his position, that's what she would have done. Hell, even in her own position she had half a mind to avoid him. The part of her that wasn't happy to see him was dreading this moment— even though she fully felt there was some air clearing to do— the kind where they would have to explain to each other what they'd been thinking when they'd almost "you know"-ed and where they were supposed to go from there. She would rather leave it as an erotic, never-to-happen-again memory and go on with their separate, yet intertwined, lives.

But Rhage might very well want some explaining done.

"So we're done here?" she asked the two males in front of her. There was no point in putting it off.

"Yeah, we're finished. You're both free to get out." Ah, how Wrath's gentle dismissals touched her heart.

She and Tohr left the study, and as he and Rhage greeted one another, she prepared what she was supposed to say to him. Funny, she'd never had problems with words and explanations before. Not until Rhage.

Tohr left their general vicinity, and Rhage turned to her.

"Hi." It was all she'd come up with in the ten seconds she'd been given.

"Hi," he repeated.

As an awkward silence filled the space between them, she truly felt bad for complicating things between them and leading him on like she had. If only she hadn't kissed him at ZeroSum…. And yet she still couldn't find an ounce of regret in her body.

At the exact moment she began with an "I'm really sorry—" he started in with a "We should talk—"

"I didn't expect what happened between us to happen," she started when he gestured for her to proceed.

"I didn't either," he agreed.

"And I'm sorry if I ambushed you, and I'm sorry for starting it. I mean that shouldn't have happened," she finished.

She waited for him to say something, but he didn't. His face was unreadable. She was so tempted to take a look inside his mind, see how he was really feeling.

"We're going to be spending a lot of time together, for a long time, and I rather things not get complicated or awkward between us."

Still nothing.

"Anyway, can we pretend it didn't happen? Can we just go back to the way things are supposed to be?"

"It's whatever you want, M'lady," he said formally.

_Um, okaaaaay. _What was that about?

Shailene looked at his resigned, stone face and thought back to the scent he had left all over her room. It hadn't been strong enough to linger on her skin and in her hair but all the same, she wondered if she was truly hurting him. That was the last thing she wanted, of course, but if his feelings had progressed as far as she thought they had, than he was probably holding back some serious pain. And even though she wanted nothing more than for him to be happy, this was the way things needed to be. He would realize this and she would convince her sternum to stop complaining at her wanting to stay with the status quo.

But she couldn't resist asking. "Are you okay?"

"I'm perfect," he told her, but in her ears his voice sounded sour.

He was not perfect.

_Well that's just fantastic_, she thought sarcastically. _That makes two of us_. She wasn't perfect either.

But what was she supposed to do about it? This was how it needed to be.

Inspiration came to her. What she needed to do was loosen him up, make him see that their situation could be comfortable without getting romantic.

After a split second of looking into his cold, teal eyes, she walked right past him in the direction of the staircase. She didn't say anything, just expected him to follow. He didn't disappoint.

He tracked each step she took until they got to the hidden door that would lead them to the garage.

When they were there and standing in front of her Mercedes he finally asked, "Where are you going?"

"Out," was her simple reply.

"Like that? And unarmed?" he asked her as if she had completely lost her whole mind.

"You have weapons in the back of your car, right?" she asked, looking to the deep purple GTO.

"Yeah, but—"

"Then we'll take that." She walked over to his car and waited at the passenger door expectantly. When he just kept staring at her like she was crazy, she materialized is keys into her hand and small leather jacket for herself.

She held the keys up, letting them jingle a bit. "Are you coming or not? Because I can go without you," she informed him.

He actually cracked a smile as he approached the car and came to stand in front of her. "You're something else, you know that?"

She smirked at him. "You say the sweetest things. Now are you driving or am I?"

He looked into her eyes for a few more seconds, then snatched the keys out of her hands. Opening the door for her, he said, "Get in M'lady."

She laughed as she sat down in the seat. "Stop calling me that."

When he was seated beside her, she couldn't help but notice how good it felt to be in such a small space with just him.

She tried to ignore it.

"Exactly where are we going?" he asked as he drove out of the compounds grounds.

"On an adventure."

"And where is that?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

He looked at her suspiciously. "What did you have in mind?"

"Nothing exact."

"How do I know when we get where we're going?"

"You don't and neither do I. That's what makes an adventure fun," she explained. "It's the unpredictability. Just stop when I say stop."

He started laughing, and she was glad to hear it, happy that she was making him happy.

As they started on Route 22, going aimlessly into the night, she looked at his face in the glowing light from the dashboard. She really wanted to reach over and touch him. She wanted to twine her fingers with the hand that wasn't on the steering wheel.

Bad idea. She needed a distraction.

She put the window go down and let the cool air sweep into the car.

"How fast does this car go?" she asked.

"Very fast."

"I want you to show me," she commanded.

He looked over at her, into her eyes, as if asking if she was serious. And still staring at her, she felt the car accelerate. The engine roared like a great beast, and the trees blurred into nothing but a black wall as they sped by them. All the while, Rhage remained in complete control of the vehicle, keeping tight to the winding curves of the road, just as she knew he would.

She started laughing an exhilarated laugh as they went faster and faster and the wind whipped her hair around her face. When he started to slow, she shouted, "Don't stop!"

His laughter joined in the medley of sounds that was the screaming engine, the howling wind and the road underneath them.

They drove further into the dark city that was Caldwell, and Shai forgot about the trouble brewing ahead of them if she continued on with this with Rhage. Even though this wasn't the point of their little expedition, she just wanted to be with him in these moments.

_What the hell_, she thought. They'd already screwed themselves in this one night. Why not start fresh tomorrow?

* * *

Rhage's suspicions were starting to dim as he watched Shailene smile and laugh as they sped along Route 22. He had wondered at what she was doing when she'd told him to just drive. An "adventure" she'd said. What was she up too? he'd thought.

But she truly just seemed to be on a mission to loosen up. So why not join her?

They had to slow down as they got into the city, but for some reason, everything seemed so much brighter tonight. Maybe it had to do with Shailene's infectious excitement.

"Stop," she commanded abruptly.

"Why?" he demanded, doing as she said.

"Look." She pointed outside her window, across the street to a bare piece of land, surrounded by forest, that was crowded by what looked like a band playing to a small group of dancing people.

She looked at him, excitement in her eyes. "Let's go." Before he could answer, she was out of the car, making her way across the road to the crowd of dancing humans and the band that was playing to their adoring fans.

"What are you doing?" he called over the music and buzzing human voices.

"I want to dance," she replied, just as she had at ZeroSum. "Are you going to join me?"

He couldn't help but smile at her. "Shai—"

"Fine, I'll find someone else." She turned away from, her head moving as if she was scouting for an acceptable dance partner.

Wrong thing to say. The memory of the last time he'd turned her down came back, that human asshole's face becoming the forefront of his thoughts.

God, if he got so jealous at her just dancing with someone else, what was it going to be like if she actually found a mate? After all, she didn't want him, and they were stuck together for life.

_Don't think about it_. Shailene only wanted to have a good time tonight, so he wasn't going to ruin it for her by acting like a jealous nancy. He just hoped, however futilely, that this night didn't contribute to him falling for her more. He thought of the chain he wore around his neck that held her family crest, and the tear drop tattoo that was on his cheek.

_Stay clinical_, he reminded himself for the thousandth time.

He grabbed her hand, wordlessly pulling her around and towards him.

He didn't have to say anything, and she didn't either.

The music went on, and the two of them moved around to the jazzy-rock sound of the band. He was surprised at how fluid she was tonight, easy-going and free, and it must have something to do with the fact that they were away from the compound and the stress of the Brotherhood. And what do you know, he found himself loosening up right on with her.

Though dancing usually wasn't his thing, he had no problem going along with whatever she wanted, and before long, she was laughing in delight at his, in his opinion, awkward uncoordinated moves. She, on the other hand had natural rhythm.

"You're great at this," she commented, chuckling slightly.

"You're lying," he responded, but even if she was, he didn't care. He decided that her laugh was the most beautiful sound in the world.

And so they went, the two of the goofing around, not taking anything they did seriously. Ignoring all the people around them, they changed their styles, going from disco to hip-hop and everything in between, laughing at the other's silliness.

After about three fast songs the band changed to a slow one. As the people on the dance floor coupled up there was a moment of 'what now?' between them because Rhage was afraid to get too close to her. He was already aroused for her, and having her body up so close and personal with his wasn't exactly going to help with the 'back to normal' thing they were shooting for. But he really didn't care. He held out his hand for her, and there was a moment's pause as she looked down at it and decided what to do.

Evidently she didn't care to much either.

Her arms wrapped around his neck while his hands went to her hips. He couldn't help but press her against him, holding her close and with care, like she deserved.

"This is nice," she murmured in his ear. "Thanks for coming out with me, Rhage."

"Any time," he whispered back.

Why she wanted things the way they were was crazy to Rhage when they were so great together like this. It felt so, so great to have her in his arms this way. He never wanted to let her go.

But he knew she was right. She was the Promise, a beauty of the race, the ultimate female of worth, and he was Rhage, a man-whore, an irresponsible jerk, a dangerous beast. She deserved so much better than him and he had no right in pursuing her in anyway.

But God, it was going to be so hard trying to desensitize himself from her.

"Don't be upset ,"she whispered to him, like she had chosen that exact moment to read his thoughts. Then she pulled away.

"Where are we going, now?"

"On the next part of our adventure." She started backing away from him, towards the forest.

"Shailene—" he started, trying to stop whatever crazy plan was forming in her head.

With a sly smile on her face, she took off into the forest, and Rhage had no choice but to follow her.

He stopped when he breached the surrounding trees and just looked for her. She wasn't hard to find, though she was farther than he expected her to be. Her white dress stood out so drastically in the darkness that she looked like an angel sent down to earth for only him, to save him and if he didn't know any better, he would swear she wasn't real. Something of such great beauty, so ethereal, must be a mirage.

"We shouldn't be here," he cautioned when he reached her.

"How can you say that? We spent all of last night in the woods."

"Last night, we were armed," he pointed out.

"Listen, Debi-Downer, we're fine out here." She closed her eyes for a second then smiled. "No _lessers_ anywhere. We're all good."

They started walking, her looking at the shining stars in the sky, him looking at her. The forest was quiet once they were away from the music, the small snaps of twigs and the little rustles of the wind through the trees making a soothing background for them to enjoy. She spun around in front of him, reveling in the serenity of the night, seeming so at home here. He decided that whether they ended up together or not, it was his mission in life from now on to not only make sure she was safe, but to also make sure the expression on her face, the one of complete ease, would always come back to her. He always wanted to remember her this way.

"I love the night," she said softly. "I mean I know we're vampires and we're supposed to, but I really do love it. It's so much better than the day."

"When was the last time you saw the sun?" he wondered, knowing that she was lucky enough to be out and about in the daytime if she wanted.

"A while ago."

"Sometimes I miss it," he told her. "I haven't seen the sun or daylight in God knows how long."

"Sure the sun is nice," she agreed. "It's bright and warm and happy. But in the day, everyone is so busy and always on the go. No one ever just stops to take a minute and be happy with where they are. That's not the day is for when it comes to humans though. That's what the night is for. Especially nights like this, when everything's so quiet peaceful. And the moon,"—she stopped walking—"the moon is beautiful. It's mysterious and it tells stories. It's like magic."

"You seem so different tonight," he commented.

She smiled at him. "Different how?"

"More at peace. Happier."

"I'll be honest, you bring it out of me. Like I said last night, like being around you and I like just talking to you. It makes me happy."

That made Rhage's heart swell. "I like making you happy," he said with maybe too much intensity. Then to cover it up, he said, "Are you feeling any better from last night?"

"Yep. All healed, just like I said I would be. "

"Good. I was worried about you."

"I also told you not to worry," she reminded him.

"It's hard not to."

"You know, for the thousandth time, I'm stronger than I look."

"I know you are. It's just hard to keep in mind," he told her.

"Because…?"

He looked at her for a second, and almost got swept away in her beauty again.

"That's just it," he finally said. "You don't look strong. Not at all."

Her voice was a little irked when she answered and that didn't surprise him at all. She always got touchy when people challenged her capability. "What do I look like?"

"You look like a female; soft and delicate. Something that should be protected, not out risking her life nightly."

"That's so sweet," she said sourly. "And I don't know what I need to do get through to you and the rest of the world but I'll say it again: I don't need protecting."

"Yes, you're right," he muttered under his breath. "That's why Wrath assigned me as your personal guard."

She stopped walking. "What did you just say?"

He smiled tightly at her tone. "Nothing."

She put her hands on her hips. "No seriously, what was that?"

"I didn't say anything important."

"Why won't you tell me?"

"I know how neurotic you females are." He shrugged. "I wouldn't want you to go banging around tree's and break a nail on that pretty little Chosen hand of yours. I know how much that would upset you."

She shoved him hard, her eyes on fire, but he saw that under her insulted expression, there was genuine humor there. "You take that back."

"I was only telling the truth," he explained.

"You arrogant jerk."

"What would you like me to say, M'lady?"

"Stop calling me that. You know, I can do anything you can do and better."

"Is that a fact," he mocked.

"It damn well is," she said heatedly. "In fact,"—she jumped in front of him— "let's race," she said, a challenge in her voice.

"_You_ want to race _me_?" he laughed at the incredulity of the idea.

"Are you underestimating me?" she threw her hands up in exasperation. "What is it with you males? I'm serious. Are we doing this or what?" She sank into a crouch, preparing for the leverage that would give her maximum speed.

He positioned himself the same way. "On three. One, two—"

Shailene took off like a bullet from a gun. "Three!" she called back.

"Cheater!" he yelled, and then took off after her.

She was fast, he'd give her that. Really fast, and he had to push harder than usual to keep up with her. Her laugh rang through the forest, bouncing off the trees and echoing in his mind. He memorized the sound, committing it to his memory, so that he would always remember her the way she was now. Free.

They kept running, going back and forth with who was in the lead, going so fast that if anyone else had been around, they'd look like two streaks going through the forest. The competitive side of him made him eager to beat her, to prove himself to her. But she was lighter on her feet than he was, so she had the advantage.

She sped up ahead of him, going farther and farther, up to where the forest broke and the trees ended and he could hear waves crashing from below what seemed to be a cliff. She stopped there, looking over to the water, than back at him, still racing towards her. There was a victorious smirk on her face, as if she was declaring herself the winner.

_Like hell_. He was going to be the one getting the last laugh.

Her expression slowly started to change as he closed in on her; clearly she expected him to slow down, preparing to stop, and when he didn't she started to look worried.

Rhage smiled.

"Rhage!" she said warningly, taking several steps back. "You'd better not—"

She didn't get a chance to finish what she was saying. At that moment, he grabbed her around the waist, said a quick prayer to the Virgin that Shai wouldn't kill him for this, and launched himself, Shai in his arms, over the cliff.

She screamed his name as the night whipped past their faces in a black blur on their way down, and her protests and his laughter were muted by the splash of the water as they broke the water's surface and went under.

They surfaced at the same time.

"Rhage!" she screamed, water splashing as she tried unsuccessfully to wipe it from her face. "What the hell were you thinking?"

He couldn't stop the laughter that was rocking through him and in turn adding to the currents. "You said you wanted an adventure. That was pretty adventurous to me."

"You…asshole!"

"Excuse me?"

She glared at his joking expression. "That's right. I take back what I said at ZeroSum. You are _such_ an asshole. An arrogant asshole."

"You are so beautiful when you're irrationally angry," he taunted.

"You're in big trouble for this."

"C'mon, lighten up! It was fun."

"You think that was _fun_? What the hell is your—" She stopped mid-scream, her eyes questioning and slightly confused as she looked down at the water.

"What?" he asked.

"I don't know something just doesn't feel right." She looked down again, contemplating to herself.

But then her eyes turned alarmed. "Rhage?" She reached to him.

He put his hand out for her. "What is it?" he demanded, starting to get worried now.

"Rhage!" she screamed before getting dragged under the black water.

"What the fuck!" he yelled in alarm, trying to find where she was. When she didn't come back up, he went under, throwing his limbs around wildly, hoping desperately to feel her somewhere because he couldn't see shit under there.

He came back up for air, no sign of his charge anywhere, and the waves, already a little intense, were starting to get even stronger now because the wind was picking up. He looked around the choppy water, hoping to see a flash of white somewhere, anywhere on top of the surface, but there was only more black and more night.

Then there was a loud splash. "Rhage!" came her scream from a small distance behind him.

He could see her fighting to stay visible, her head disappearing then reappearing over and over as she fought whatever seemed to be dragging her under.

He swam over to her as fast and as hard as he could, fighting the strong currents to get to where he was needed. But as he got in grabbing distance of her, the water was even stronger there, keeping him away from her. They reached for each other, screaming each other's names over and over again.

"Help me!" she screamed, but her voice was barely audible over the crashing currents that kept him from getting to her. Her face, or what he could see of it when she was above surface, was terrified. "Help!"

"I'm trying!" He yelled back. "Just grab my hand!"

But she was trying as well; that much was obvious. She just couldn't reach him.

"What is this?" he tried to yell, but it was hard with all the briny water in his mouth. "What the fuck is happening?"

She didn't answer. She couldn't answer.

Rhage tried to figuring out what was doing this to her. And though he had heckled her about being weak before, he knew there was nothing strong enough to affect her this way. The only thing that had enough power to do something like this and survive her was her and herself alone.

And just like that he had his answer. He remembered back to about thirty years ago, when the whole Brotherhood had been at Darius' house, discussing some _lesser_ business, when Shailene had gotten really quiet, and then out of nowhere started screaming. She looked like she was in the midst some sort of extreme seizure, her body shaking uncontrollably one moment, then limbs flying the next. She'd started screaming things in the Old Language, things that didn't make any sense, and no matter what anyone did, they couldn't bring her back. No one, not even Wrath. Everyone had been scared shitless, especially Wrath of course, but eventually she'd calmed down some, then she'd stopped moving all together. She'd just sat there, eyes open but completely blank, the irises and pupils clouded over with white until it looked like she didn't have any at all. She had stayed that way for about a half an hour, and it turned out that all it had been was a vision. A traumatic, terrifying vision. It had happened two more times since then, and each time they were just as terrified as the first, and each time they called Havers to come check her out, but there was never anything wrong with her. He couldn't find the cause, and he couldn't find the solution. It was just something she had to let run its course.

Could that be what was happening to her, now? If that was the case, they still had some serious problems, like the fact that if he didn't get to her before she became unresponsive, she could drown.

Just as his fingertips finally made contact with hers, she went under again. And didn't come back up.

Just like that, the currents calmed completely, the clouds that had rolled in cleared, and the wind stop trying to blow him out of the hemisphere. Everything was completely peaceful, like the real life shit storm that had just occurred had really just been something in his mind.

But if that was true, Shailene would be with him at this second.

The weather may have calmed, but Rhage didn't. He still swam frantically, looking for Shailene who evidently hadn't come back yet.

But then he saw it, the pure, angelic white that stood out so starkly in the dense night. The colour was floating on top of the surface, completely immobile save for the gentle currents that were rocking it softly back and forth.

Rhage was there in the next second.

He looked at her face. There was no expression there and he wouldn't have been as worried if her eyes had been completely blank like he was used to, but instead her green irises that he loved so much glowed in the dark. She stared up to the sky, lifelessly looking up to the heavens. Her chest wasn't pumping. She wasn't breathing.

He threw her onto his back and swam away with her like the sea was on fire.

When they got to shallow enough water he carried her the rest of the way and they weren't even to dry land when he put her down and started shaking her shoulders.

"Shai," she shouted, hoping the loud noise would snap her out of it. "C'mon Shai, please!"

She didn't respond to him.

"Oh God." What he supposed to do. Even after her episodes passed and she was in her catatonic state, she kept breathing.

He was truly starting to panic now as he looked at her lifeless face.

The only thing he could think of was CPR. Maybe that would help her.

He tilted her chin up, pressed his lips to hers, and started to breath into her.

Her lips shaped themselves to his and one of her arms wrapped around his neck.

He jumped back from her, shocked out of his mind as she sat up slowly and smiled at him. Again with that perfectly calm grin. Was she unaware of the fact that he'd been shitting himself a moment ago?

She looked perfectly fine, her eyes alight only with humor and excitement, no longer with fear like they had been mere moments ago. She looked healthy and happy and very not-dead.

She stretched her arms above her head and laughed softly.

"What the…"

"You really meant it when you told me you would come for me no matter what, didn't you?" she said.

He just stared at her unblinkingly.

She got up and ran to the water, staying in shallow water, letting the small waves crashed over her legs.

"You can relax now," she told him. "Look at me. I'm perfectly okay." She waved her hands up and down her body theatrically and twirled in circles.

He sat on the shore as she frolicked in the now lazy water.

What the fuck had just happened? One second she's almost dead, the next she's prancing like a pony. So this was just some sick joke?

He stood up. "You're okay?"

"Healthy as a horse."

"And you always were okay?"

She nodded, somehow managing to be enthusiastic and casual at the same time. "There was never anything wrong with me."

"And the storm, you did that."

"Yup."

He stormed over to her, splashing the water as he went.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Have you completely lost your mind?" he screamed at her.

She barely reacted. "What's wrong Rhage? Wasn't that _fun_ enough for you?"

"You nearly gave me a fucking heart attack! I thought you were dying."

"But I'm not," she pointed out. "So you can relax."

"Relax? You want me to relax?" he was beyond words at that point.

"Look, even if I had been in trouble, there's nothing to worry about now because you saved me." She looked at him, all joking admiration. "I was testing you and you passed." She put her hands over her heart and twirled around some more. With a very impressive southern-bell accent, she said, "My hero."

Rhage didn't feel much like a hero at the moment. He was feeling more like an on-the-edge axe murder right now. As he stalked ahead of her, farther into the ocean, he had to resist the urge to wrap his hands around her throat and squeeze until she really was in need of rescuing.

He gave talking another shot. "How could you… What were you… I don't understand—"

"Aw, don't your leathers in a twist, it was just a joke. Besides, it was funny wasn't it?"

_Funny_? "Funny is the _farthest _thing from my mind. You're fucking crazy."

"Oh, since when are you the responsible one out of the two of us?"

He didn't answer her.

"I'm sorry I scared you. Now come on, say it was funny," she commanded playfully, and it was her light, lilting voice that cracked through the anger and stress and adrenalin to the parts of him, which really was all of him, that were intoxicated by her.

"It wasn't funny," he responded.

"Rhage, say it was funny," she said again, but this time her tone was more stern.

"No," he refused.

"Yes. Tell me I'm funny."

He shook his head. "You're not funny."

"Oh yes I am."

"No you're not."

She started bouncing in place, making like she was about to take a run at him. "You'd better say it, Rhage."

"No, I won't. And don't do it," he said, sensing where this was going

"You say it or I'm gonna do it," she said, picking up speed.

He backed away from her. "Don't you dare."

"I'm going to," she said, slowly coming forward.

"Don't do it," he warned, backing up some more.

"Then say it!"

"No!"

She ran at him, coming in at full speed, intending to knock him over, but he caught her unexpectedly, lifting her off her feet. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her delighted laughter sounded as they plummeted for the water again.

Rhage's mood lightened up a bit as they played, splashing each other, dunking, pushing each other around. And when she jumped at him again, this time he kept her with him, holding her as she clung to him. He held her aloft for a moment, just feeling the lines and curves of her body against him, feeling her heart beat next to his. They beat perfectly in time with each, as if all hearts had been made in pairs and theirs were a perfect match.

Their breathing slowed now that the laughter from both of them had died down and now it was just the two of them in nothing but beautiful silence, the small waves crashing around his ankles, the stars and the moon shining above their heads.

She pulled back and looked into his eyes, and he looked into hers, loving the soft expression there, loving the diamond green, loving everything. He loved that when he was with her, he felt like all walls were down and gone, and he loved that the world disappeared but for the two of them. He loved how she made him feel like he was nothing but Rhage: not a warrior, not a dangerous beast, not an irresponsible, arrogant asshole. And when it was just the two of them, she wasn't a princess, or a Chosen, or even the Promise. In real time, those things were titles and statuses that neither of them would ever be able to escape, but they weren't in real time now. They were suspended in space, just the two of them. When it was like this, just the two of them together, he was just Rhage and she was just Shailene and nothing mattered except for the fact that he loved her.

There it was. He was in love, a feeling he thought he'd never be lucky enough to have. He was in love with Shailene and there was no going back from this. She was it, and she always would be and whether she wanted him the same way he wanted her was irrelevant. All that mattered was that she was safe and happy for the rest of her days.

"If I'm not funny, than what am I?" she murmured.

"You are Shailene," he told her, "And you are perfect."

She smiled at him sweetly, then wrapped her arms tighter around his neck, resting her face in the crook of his neck once again.

"You know," he said softly, "The world could end right now. The moon could crash into earth and we could all be obliterated, but I wouldn't care. We could die right this second, and I would die happy, because I spent my last moments here with you."

"You shouldn't say things like that," she whispered, but her eyes didn't hold a hint of regret in them.

He nodded a bit. "I know. But I had to say it."

She brushed some of his wet, curling hair away from his face. "Why?"

"Because it's true," he said simply.

She kept searching his eyes and as she did, he wondered if she could tell what had just become clear to him. Did she know what she did to him? Did she feel it, too?

Was that the reason she turned away a second later?

"We should probably get back," she said quietly. They'd been out for hours now, and it was getting closer to dawn.

He knew she was right, but the oncoming sun didn't seem to be her reasons for wanting to leave. She was shutting him out again. He could feel it.

He nodded regretfully and put her down. "I'll meet you back at the car."

It was her turn to nod, and then she disappeared from in front of him.

It was a quiet drive back to the compound as they both thought over what they had done that night, and how it would affect them later on. He was such a fool for going along with this. What had happened to his resolve to not pursue her? Why hadn't he stayed clinical? He should have been stronger, he should have fought against himself harder, but he hadn't and now look where they were: he was in love and she was closing herself off from him again.

They got into the mansion through the hidden door, and just stopped to look at each other.

After some loaded silence, she started to speak. "Tonight was…" She trailed off, probably unable to put into words what she was feeling, whatever it was, just like him.

He nodded, brushing the wet locks of hair from her face. "I know."

Shai tried to say something else, opening her mouth and closing it again. She was at a loss for words, unable to express what it was she was truly feeling. He had never seen her this way before.

He knew what she was trying to say: that it wouldn't work between them, they weren't truly right for each other, they should just give it up.

"Rhage—" she started haltingly.

He decided to take some of the stress off her. He held her face in both his hands, looking directly into those diamond green eyes of hers.

"I know," he said again. And they just stood there…

"Hey," a male voice said

…until Vishous came and interrupted them. Again.

Surprised by the intrusion, they broke away from each other quickly, as if they'd been caught in the act of something dirty.

"Hey, V," Shai said, not really succeeding in being casual. "What's up?"

"I was just looking for you," he said to her, looking between the two. "What happened? You look like someone took a hose to you."

"We went out," Rhage said. "On an adventure."

"An adventure where? And what did you guys d—"

"What is it that you need V?" Shai demanded, cutting him off.

After a second more of getting the shifty eye from him, he dropped it and said, "I think I got the phone that we pulled off that _lesser_ last night almost cracked, but I could use your help."

She nodded. "Okay, we can do that now."

"Do you want to dry off first?"

"No, no, I'm good like this," she said hurriedly, pushing him back in the direction of the hidden door. "Let's go."

Rhage watched her walk off with Vishous, seeming in a hurry to get away from something.

Damn, his chest hurt.

Just as she was about to walk through the door, she turned around and looked at him. "Good night, Rhage," she said softly, her voice filled with so much concealed passion, before disappearing through the door way. Those simple words, "good night," had the power to tear through him, he could feel it. It felt like she was saying so much more in those words. How did that stupid expression? The depressing one about goodbye and goodnight? Whatever it was, Rhage could feel it now, and it wasn't a sensation he hoped to become familiar in.

* * *

"Okay, I think we're about through," Shai said about an hour later. "All we have to do is the back files and we'll have everything."

Vishous nodded, seeming as distracted as she was.

They'd worked on the phone together in almost complete silence and it made sense that they wouldn't have much to say. What had been on the phone had been beyond disgusting. She'd been right in thinking that the Lessening Society was having a shift in strategy, because what they'd decrypted from the phone had a lot to do with plans for structures, a change in the _Forelesser_ , plans to find the Brotherhood by torturing whatever civilians they could find.

It made Shailene mad enough to see red, but that wasn't what was keeping her mouth sewn shut.

V knew. He knew and he was just waiting for the moment to bring it up to her.

"What's happening between you Rhage?" he flat-out demanded.

"Nice to see you still have the whole subtly thing working for you, V," Butch said as he rounded the corner. "Why don't you drive a bus through a wall next?"

"Whatever, Cop. I want answers, so I'll the question straight." V turned his attention back to Shai. "Answer the question."

"Nothing," she lied.

"Bullshit. We all saw you last night, and I saw you earlier leaving his room practically naked."

"Woah—" Shai started.

"Wow," Butch cut in. "I didn't think Rhage would work so fast."

"That's what I said," V agreed.

"Okay, both of you just shut the hell up," Shai snapped. "I was not naked leaving Rhage's room earlier, And I only fell asleep in there after _talking_ all morning. We didn't have sex." Something occurred to her. "And do you mean 'work so fast'? Did you think something was going to happen? Have you two been talking about this?"

"Please," Vishous said. "You could have made smores off of the sexual tension coming off the two of you last night."

"What are you talking about? All we were doing was making sure the other was okay. And yeah, I kissed him but—"

"You kissed him," Vishous said, resigned. "You owe me fifty bucks, Cop."

"Son of a bitch," Butch muttered. "Thanks Shai."

"You two are unbelievable," she said.

"What do you call what I walked in on about an hour ago?" V demanded.

"Connecting," she answered simply.

"Yeah, right before you hit the sheets."

Shai groaned.

"Give her a break, V," Butch said. "She's not used to wanting something for herself, so she doesn't know how to handle the feelings."

As he smirked at her, she looked him square in the eye. "How was your night with Marissa?" She asked scathingly.

His smile evaporated.

"Ouch," V commented. "That was such a low blow you might as well of castrated him."

Shai sighed. "I'm sorry, B, I'm just stressed out."

"It's cool," he told her.

"In all seriousness, what's the problem if you two are attracted to one another?" V asked. "You're going to be spending the rest of your lives together whether you like it or not. So why not spend it in love?"

"Look who's gone all cupid," Shai joked.

Vishous wasn't into it. "I'm serious."

She sighed again. "Look things with me and relationships get complicated really fast. I'd rather save Rhage the trouble."

"Why don't you give it a shot?"

"I just said it's complicated."

"Why don't you tell me about it?

"It's. Complicated."

"Since when is there anything you couldn't talk to me about?"

"Since now."

"Okay, how 'bout this: you ever think of asking Rhage how he feels about it?" Butch asked.

"No, I—it doesn't matter anyway because there's nothing going on between us," Shai said briskly.

"You sure about that?" V asked.

"What the hell is this?" she demanded, made uncomfortable by the way they were both ambushing her. "Rhage and I are fine, okay? Why don't you save dating advise for eHarmony or those greeting cards you two pansy send each other and leave me alone?" She spun around in the office chair, back to the Four Toys, and addressed V. "Can we finish this now?"

"Whatever you say, M'lady." He turned back towards the computers. "But when you want to stop deluding yourself and come back to reality, we'll be here."

She tried to block out of her head the appeal at what the assholes beside her were saying, but the ideas proved to be too enticing: telling Rhage the truth, being together the way they wanted. Tonight had had the opposite effect of what she'd wanted to happen. All they had done was strengthen the romantic and sexual bond that was forming between them. Not what she had wanted, but it had happened none the less. What were they supposed to do now?

Nothing. Just try and ignore it. That was all they could do.

She was done with Vishous and Butch about fifteen minutes later, and on the way to her room, all she could think about was Rhage and how much she wanted him. She wanted to be with him, next to him, right that very second and when she got to her room, she looked to his room, adjacent to hers, and wished that was the door she was about to open.

**A/N: Okay, so there it is. Rhage has fully fallen for the Chosen. What now?**

**By the by, the expression about goodbye and goodnight? There's actually two that i had in mind. They run along the same lines, but you can choose which ones you like best. There's "_This is not goodnight, this is goodbye," _or,_ "There's nothing good about 'goodnight' when it means goodbye."_ I think the first one applies better to Rhage's and Shailene's situation. Just my opinion though.**

**Thanks to those who are reading and commenting. If you're reading and _not_ commenting, please do :)**


	9. Chapter 9: Passion

**From this point on, I'll try my best to have a song for every chapter. I love it when stories relate to music or are able to incorporate lyrics into it. Often when i'm writing i have a soundtrack in my mind as the chapter progresses. I might miss a few chapters and not have any ideas as to what song fits best, but we'll see how it goes. Anyone reading has any ideas, feel free to pitch! **

**This chapters song is brought to you by 2AM Club. They are a seriously underrated band and should be way more famous than they are. Maybe this will help ;) I won't tell you who this song speaks for, you'll have to read the chapter and draw your own conclusions. **

"Make You Mine"

I looked her right in the eyes, right in the eyes,  
but I couldn't see.  
(It burned when I looked, I burned in my heart, my words wouldn't work)  
I listened to you loud and clear, so loud and clear,  
but I couldn't hear.  
(Her mouth moving fast, all I hear is white noise, my life moving past)

And I said please, please, please...  
Don't shine so bright.  
Please, please, please...  
Don't shine so bright, oh no

You did it so right.  
You gave me your life  
One star can never shine twice  
So I could never, never  
Make You Mine, Make You Mine, Make You Mine, Make You Mine

I wanted just to feel your heart, wanna feel your heart,  
but it wouldn't beat  
(Her gates remained locked, I tried to move to 'em, my feet wouldn't walk)

I wanted just to talk it out, wanna talk it out,  
but I couldn't speak.  
(My mouth moving fast all she hears is white noise and she moves right past)

And so all I said was please, please, please...  
Don't shine so bright.  
Please, please, please...  
Don't shine so bright,  
oh no

You did it so right.  
You gave me your life  
One star can never shine twice  
So I could never, never  
Make You Mine, Make You Mine, Make You Mine, Make You Mine

Walked around the crowd for two hours like I never knew  
You were there and I could tell but looking was too hard to do  
If you came to my side, private sunshine  
But I don't deserve to take her home and make the sun mine  
So I stay away alone knowing that I'll never know  
Only something beautiful will change the brightest of the glow  
I don't wanna go blind so I go find a  
Another bad taste a dark place for a good time

A beautiful sun can be the reason you'll sigh  
It's all leaving you, lost in the night  
But you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't need it  
This is not for you  
And I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't leave it  
This is all I do

You did it so right.  
You gave me your life.  
One star can never shine twice  
So I could never, never  
Make You Mine, Make You Mine, Make You Mine, Make You Mine  
Make You Mine, Make You Mine, Make You Mine, Make You Mine

Great song, great band. And now we get to the main attraction.

**DISCLAIMER**: I am so in love with the Brothers, it's **CRAZY**! But no matter how many stars I wish on, they will never be anyone's but J.R. Ward's. (I'm gonna keep wishing though ;])

Chapter 9: Passion

Something was not right with his female, of that, Hansen was sure.

The next night, Hansen paced around his luxurious room, worrying. The phone call he'd had with Shailene about an hour ago had told him he had reason to. She'd been distracted, flustered, abnormally quiet, and she'd even sounded a bit guilty. What was wrong with her?

Of course she wasn't his, really. Shai had made it apparent early in their relationship that she would never _be_ anyone's but her own, but they'd been together for so long he couldn't help but feel a tad bit possessive over her. He'd been there for her pretty through her life. He'd fed her through her transition and ever since then, and through the decades they'd become amazing friends.

Though they were meant to be more. She'd been promised to him since before she was even born, and they were supposed to be mated by now, but things between them hadn't been right at the time for that. Of course they'd tried it out; soon after her transition had occurred, they'd spent a lot of time together, trying to find a comfortable fit for one another in their lives. But with her unusual abilities, all the _lesser_ problems she'd been having, and the fact that she and Wrath had _still_ been trying to heal from the death of their parents after all that time, she wasn't really interested in any sort of relationship. He'd given her time, hoping she'd come around, but she never had, and after enough time had passed, they'd both agreed that the best way for them to be in the other's lives was just to be good to each other and that was all they could do for the other.

She'd been the one to make the arrangement, however. He'd only gone along with it.

"Friends" was not what he had in mind for their future together at all. In his fantasy, he'd seen the two of them together for centuries to come, living in all the luxuries she deserved, maybe even a few young, and if Wrath had continued to refuse his birth right for much longer, the two of them king and queen, though that last part wasn't important to Hansen. All he'd wanted, really, was her. It was still all he wanted.

Hansen was in love with Shailene and had been since the first time he'd held her in his arms. She was different from any other female out there, and that had nothing to do with the fact that she was the Promise. It was the strength that she possessed, physically, mentally, and emotionally. It was the fact that she showed kindness and compassion to all those who approached her no matter who they were or what they'd done. It was her heart of gold and her beautiful soul. It was the fact that she gave her whole self to her race. She was something else altogether, completely unique.

He wished that she could see what he did, that they were perfect for each other. For such an enlightened person, she sometimes could be so short sided. They worked so well together, whether it was at the _Princeps _meetings that they were both required to go to, or just the two of them when they volunteered at Havers' clinic, or whatever they were doing together. They clicked together, as in everything was always comfortable when they were around each other. And by all intents and purposes, she was already his _shellan_ and he was already her _hellren._ All they were missing was a mating ceremony and a mated bed.

They lay together, though it had only been in the early stages of their relationship and now only when she was going through her needings. Those moments, when they were so close to each other, both of them stripped down to their most primal forms, were the best times he could imagine. Sure, since Shai wouldn't be with him like that on a regular basis, he had find other females to entertain him, but no one ever compared to the feel of Shailene.

He would give anything to have her the way he wanted, but their situation wasn't all bad. He still got her the way no one else did. They were blood mates, and no one would take her from him that way. He'd vowed to himself that he would not push her, that he would let her do what she wanted, because he knew that one day she would see what was right in front of her. How long that was going to take, he wasn't sure, but Hansen had always thought himself a patient male.

But still, he was worried about her and nothing could calm him, not the herbal tea he'd had his _doggen_, Onella, make or the feel of his best silks that he was wearing at the moment . What could she be going through that made her so anxious? He'd called her to make arrangements for them to feed – his favourite time – and that was how he'd figured out something was wrong with her. She'd been closed lipped about it, not willing to talk about whatever was wrong, which was strange because she'd never, ever had a problem opening up to him before. She'd just said was that it was nothing important and nothing for him to worry about. But when it came to Shailene, he needed to worry about everything that was wrong with her, no matter what she said. She had a habit of downplaying all her problems as to not stress the people around her, when she should be asking for help.

That was just another thing he loved about her, that she was always so self-sacrificing. Even though sometimes it frustrated the ever living hell out of him.

He wondered what it was and he wanted to help her.

Like everyone else in the race, Hansen had heard that Shailene had a new bodyguard and he wondered if her new _ahstrux nohtrum_, the Black Dagger Warrior Rhage, the Brother that the Scribe Virgin had cursed with the beast, had anything to do with it. It was a bold thing, Wrath reintroducing the _ahstrux nohtrum _clause, and there were many issues that would arise from Shailene herself. She was a very independent female, and having a twenty-four/seven hanger-on would not be her idea of a good time. Plus, Hansen knew her well enough to know that she would look at this as Wrath dictating her life. _Again_. It was a move made to protect her by Wrath, he was sure, and he approved, but Shailene wouldn't see it like that. "I don't need protecting," she would rant to him whenever Wrath pulled some new stunt that wasn't to her pleasing. But Hansen agreed with Wrath, not that he would tell her that. He had voiced that opinion of his once, and the look she'd given him was equivalent to a basilisk's glare.

Maybe it was the feeling of being smothered that had her upset. Maybe it was the fact that Wrath was questioning her capability.

Or maybe it was just Rhage himself. Shailene had told him about Rhage a few times, about how he was reckless, overly aggressive sometimes, and a bit of a prat. Of course that was all said with the joking kind of affection she used to describe all her warriors, he could imagine how Rhage would get on her nerves if they were being forced together like two little kids in the sandbox. From the few time he'd met him, they hadn't seen things the same way. Hansen wasn't all that proud of Rhage's pass times and he certainly didn't like the way he looked at Shailene. Maybe it was the stress of having him around that was getting under her skin.

He would have rather had Wrath make him Shailene's protector instead of that brute Rhage. He had learned to fight centuries ago, preparing for the mating that had never happened, and he had all his weapons with a vast knowledge of how to use them. He would have loved being given the added honour of protecting Shailene, but that hadn't happened.

Whatever the problem was, he would ask her when he saw her for their feedings. Ah, the communion of their blood strengthening the other was truly something he looked forward to. Knowing that he would see her soon, he calmed some.

Soon enough, he would see her and have her body in his arms and her blood in his mouth and in his stomach. He could not wait.

Rhage wasn't in the best mood while he strapped on his gun holster and filled it with his weapons. He'd barely gotten any sleep during the day and Shailene was nowhere to be found. She hadn't been at First Meal, and when he had gone to her room to check on her, she hadn't been there either, so where the fuck was she?

He was dying to see her again. Last night with her had made him realize that he was irreversibly in love with her, which was the last thing he needed. But it was impossible to stay clearheaded with her around him, her magical voice in his ear, her sweet smell filling his nose, those beautiful eyes taking him to another world, and her presence relaxing him to the point where he felt like he was drifting. He loved the affect she had on him.

And she wasn't here.

He knew she could travel during the daylight, but even knowing that she was most likely not hurt, it still stressed him the hell out that she had left during those hours. And why hadn't she told him that she was leaving and where she was going?

He knew why. She clearly sensed that he passed the attraction stage that she was stuck at and had gone straight into the I-love-you-forever part of the relationship. She must know, and she must be avoiding him because of it. He'd clearly overstepped his bounds last night when he'd said all he'd said, and it had made her uncomfortable. That was why she'd turned away from him and started shutting him out. She didn't want him like he wanted her, and she was trying to stay as far away from him as possible so she didn't have to deal with it.

He cursed himself for making her feel so uncomfortable. That was completely opposite of his job description.

And he missed her, as pathetic as that was. He wanted to see her smile and hear her laugh and quipy remarks, and smell her raspberry aroma.

It's not like she was completely innocent here, either. Sure it hadn't been intentional, but she'd made him fall in love with her. _She_ kissed _him_ first that night at ZeroSum. _She'd_ given him the orgasm of his life with very little encouragement from him. She'd taken him out last and that little "adventure" had been what sealed the deal for him, though he sensed he would have fallen for her soon enough without their little outing. She had put the chain links around his heart , making him her prisoner.

And she didn't want him that way. What would he do? He was pretty sure that regardless of what she felt, those metal links would be there always. He could almost feel them, it was like they were tightening at just the thought of her.

His charge was missing, he was in love with her, she didn't feel the same way for him, and there was nothing he could do about it. All that was enough to put a frown on his puss, and as if all that wasn't enough, he was edge because his beast was acting up again.

Funny, with Shailene constantly around the beast had been close to, but not quite, unnoticeable. Unless he was thinking about having sex with her, the beast was pretty mellow, and that was without him having sex at all. It was her presence; she filled him with a profound ease. It was like she was able to tame the beast from the outside. And he'd gotten so used to it in just the two nights they'd spent together that now that she wasn't with him to whip the beast back in its place, he was extremely on edge with it out from under Shailene's power and back to running a frickin muck in his body. It was like all the restlessness of the beast had been pent up, stored away for the moment when Shailene wouldn't be around, and now that she wasn't it was back, kicking his ass again.

So yeah, he missed her and he had reason to mildly pissed off.

He walked out of his room, preparing to go find Tohrment and report that he was ready to go out. But then he realized he should probably go see Vishous instead. He and Shai were very close, to Rhage's utter dissatisfaction, and maybe he would know where she'd gone. And if V didn't know than his next stop was Phury. And if after him he still didn't have any answers, he would put a hole through a wall. But he wouldn't ask Wrath. He was definitely flipping, what with Shailene acting so off, and when she came home she would have hell to pay and then he would from her for telling Wrath that she'd gone.

He knocked on V's and Butch's door after walking through the underground tunnels to get to their Pit.

"What up, my brother?" V said when he answered the door.

"Have you seen Shailene?' he demanded, walking into the gatehouse without any invitation. He didn't spare Butch a greeting as he asked his next questions. "You were the last person with her last night. Where did she go after she was done with you?"

"Nice to see you, too, Rhage," V said as he resumed his position at the Four Toys. Butch merely nodded, too engrossed with the highlights of some baseball game on ESPN.

"Just answer the damn question, Vishous."

"Unclench my brother, my God. I swear you never used to be so uptight."

"Having a charge will do that to you," he explained in a not so nice tone. "Are you going to tell me, or do I need to go to Phury?"

"Okay, just chill." V turned back to his computers. "Last night when she was done here, she went back to her room as far as I could tell."

Great. He didn't know where she was either. God damn it.

"But," V continued, "she called me a while ago to tell me she went to her place at the Commodore. She told me to tell you."

"You didn't think to mention that earlier?"

"Where else would she be," he asked, a lot of duh in his voice.

That was a good question, but a hard answer to find. After last night, the answers could be endless.

Rhage sighed, exasperated. He wasn't exactly into seeing her if she was avoiding him, despite the fact that he was dying without her, and he didn't want to ruin things even more between them.

"I'll go get her," he muttered. What other choice did he have?

He materialized over to the thirtieth floor of the Commodore, not bothering to wait at the bottom for her to call him up, or even in the hallway for her to answer the door. He just materialized into the front hall of her place.

And with the first step he took, he heard music, the sound of a piano.

He rounded the corner to see the big, beautiful room. It was definitely Shailene's style, decorated with warm colours of reds and golds and creamy whites. The floors were done in black, polished marble, with antique rugs that must have been collected over the years. The sofas were silk covered and placed strategically around a fifty-inch flat screen with a satellite hookup and the rest of the works and a book case that was full to bursting next to it. The whole side of the building was glass with a balcony stretched along the whole way. It was luxurious, but not in an overwhelming way. There was more of a homey sense to the room, which was definitely Shailene.

He'd never been to Shailene's condo before, and now that he was here, he was enthralled by her private space. He wanted to see more.

The place was big. Really big, with an all-equipped kitchen, three bathrooms, five bedrooms, one with an unmade bed and a small pile of clothes in one corner and another full bookcase as well as a CD stand, rooms to work out, or paint as he'd evidently seen with hundreds of black and white photographs and little small canvas paintings, more of the amazing view of Caldwell to look out on, or just a small sitting room. But his favourite thing about the place was that Shailene scent was all over it. It really made him feel like he was in her private place, a place so few eyes had seen.

There was one more room for him to look at and he knew, obviously, that that was the room that the most prefect music was coming out of. The sounds the piano made were like listen to Shai talk; they slowed him down, made it so much easier for him to relax.

He opened the door quietly so as not to disturb her, even though odds were good that she already knew he was here. But in spite of that, he leaned in the door jamb, watching, listening, wanting.

This room was like the art room, full of things all related, but this time it was all about music. This room was also facing the view of Caldwell and was a splash of all different colours over a black base and Rhage knew that it was in its full light instead of the sultry candle light, it would be very bright and loud. The walls of the room were lined with guitars and CDs and sheet music and lined paper taped or pinned to it. And coming out from the glass wall was a platform, a higher ground, with a huge, glossy black grand piano on it.

But the only thing that really caught his attention was the female playing it. She was so beautiful, just like this, in the muted candle light of the room, playing her instrument in a state of distilled passion. He could tell that her eyes were closed and yet she had complete knowledge of what keys to press and what notes came after the other. She looked more comfortable here than he'd ever seen her, like music was complete second nature to her.

Rhage had to admit this was a complete turn on, watching her do this, and the erection that came on was a total given. The way her slim body moved as she reached for the far keys was intoxicating, especially when the small white shirt rose up and revealed a similar tattoo to the sun that circled her belly button, only this one was a moon instead. He wondered how many tattoos she had, and in the process he almost got swept away in visions of him stripping her down until she was in nothing but her glorious birthday suit, letting him look over every part of her body in search of all ink. And even though it was improbable that she would have any there, he would start between her legs.

His erection was pounding with the need to enter her at this point. She was too amazing, every male's fantasy, and so he wanted to enter over and over again and mark her in the process, over and over again. This female was his, whether she knew it or not, she belonged to him.

_Mine_

"That's beautiful," he finally said.

The music cut off and she spun around with a startled gasp.

He almost laughed at her expression.

When the realization that it was just him clicked in her mind she put a hand to her heart and let out the inhalation.

"Did I scare you?" he asked smugly. That would be a first.

"Yeah, a little. I didn't even hear you come in." she turned back to her keys. "What are you doing here?"

Rhage's old frustration came back to him. "Maybe you want to answer that question first?"

She sighed. "This is my pace, you know."

"But you left the compound because…?"

"I needed space."

"So you couldn't have called?" he demanded.

"I did call," she pointed out.

"Vishous," he hissed.

"It's better than nothing."

"Why didn't you just call me?"

She looked back at him, her eyes holding all the knowledge of what he was feeling and the reasons why she was so distant from him. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, and Rhage knew that she wasn't just apologizing because she'd left without notifying him. He hated the pained look on her face.

"What were you playing?" he asked to change the subject, coming to sit beside her on the seat.

She turned back to the piano after a second and answered, "Just something that came to me this afternoon. I've been working on it for hours."

"Does it have lyrics?" he asked.

"No, not yet, I only have the melody done. I'm working on the harmony."

He was quiet as she started playing again. He knew that Shailene was a complex creature, but he'd never been given the privilege to see all her amazing attributes first hand and up close like he was now. He loved the look on her face, the one of total absorption and passion.

"It's tricky to write a song," she said as she continued playing. "You write what first comes to mind, and as you keep going you realize that what you're putting down doesn't make sense with what you had done before it, so you erase what you did and try to stay with the flow of things, but it's so hard to get the mistake melody out of your head that you keep repeating yourself, even though you always tell yourself that it isn't supposed to be that way. It takes a long time to get over what you'd done wrong."

Rhage listened to her soft voice as it blended with music, even though she wasn't singing. He knew that she was talking about them more than she was talking about anything music related.

"Do you regret the mistakes you make," he asked, looking and her beautiful hands glide over the black and white ivory.

"No," she answered. Her head turned towards him, bringing his eyes to hers. "I've learned never to regret any thing."

He looked into her eyes, wishing he could just come clean about everything that was in his mind and his heart. He wished he could just tell her that he loved her, without having to worry about complications and difficulties. He wished she would just let him kiss her without her worrying that there'd be consequences.

As it was, the complications and difficulties and consequences and all the other shit weren't really on his mind as he leaned in closer to her. And maybe they weren't registering with her either because she didn't stop him.

But she seemed to remember, and she turned her head at the last second.

The pain of rejection, something Rhage certainly hadn't been familiar with until he got that damn teardrop tattoo , washed over him, pouring acid in the wounds she'd already created and making new ones to match the old.

He cursed her for making him feel this way.

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

"No, don't—don't apologize, it's not your fault." She got up from the seat and walked to the other side of the piano, trying yet again to get away from him. "Rhage, I'm sorry. I want to, I really do… but we can't."

He got up and walked around to her. "Why can't we?" he put his hands on either side of her face, forcing her to look at him. "Why can't we? This is real. You are real to me. What's wrong with letting yourself have what you want?"

"Rhage, it's not right—"

"It couldn't be more right. I love you. No, look at me," he commanded, for she tried to turn away from again, "I am in love with you. And I know you feel something for me, too."

"You shouldn't say things like that," she choked out, repeating the same words she had said from the night before, the night that had sealed his fate.

She tried to pull away from him again.

He held her tighter.

"It's true," he also repeated. "I love you."

"Don't say that." Her hands started pushing on his chest, fighting against him and his declaration, and he had to work to keep his hold on her. He also tried to work around the delicious friction she was creating between them, and the fact that her struggles were causing her to brush against his already throbbing erection.

"I love you," he said passionately, trying to get through to her.

"Stop saying that."

"No, I love you."

"No you don't." She fought harder.

"Yes, I do." He kissed her then, fast and hard. "I really do."

He didn't give her any time to respond, just pressed his lips to hers again. She kept fighting him, pounding her fists against his chest and trying to pull her head away some more but Rhage held her securely in place. He pressed himself against her, forcing her back into the forgotten piano, making sure that there wasn't one line of her body that he couldn't feel. The hand that wasn't knotted in her thick hair was on the small of her back, trying to get her closer still. He thrust his tongue in and out of her mouth, stroking her, exploring her, trying to relax her from her stiff, resisting self.

What do you know, eventually it worked. Before long, her hands stopped pushing at him went to the side of his shoulders, nails digging in, pulling him even tighter against her. Her lips started moving with his, her kisses holding all the aggression his did, their tongues dueling for dominance as she started undulating against him.

He picked her up and sat her on the piano, making good use of the damn thing again. She wrapped her legs around his hips, letting him feel the heat radiating from her core, making him pant for her. As their hips started surging together, her core absorbing the weight of his cock in just the right place, he separated their lips, kissing his way down her throat and onto her chest. She arched into him, melting into the strength that held her, giving him complete control over her and that turned him on even more. With so much of her exposed, he had to touch more of her, so, using the hand that had been running along her sleek, bare legs, he snaked under that tight white shirt she was wearing, under the bra she had on, and onto the round, heavy weight of her breast. She moaned when he teased the tight nipple, flicking against it with his thumb.

Her hands went to his gun holster and again he was impressed by her quick hand work. She had it off in a second and was unbuttoning his shirt in the next, raking her nails down his chest and abdominals. She didn't stay there long though. Her hand went to his rigid cock and started stroking. He groaned against her jaw before she claimed his mouth again.

He was deranged from the essence of her, nothing else registering but the bonding scent and the natural aroma of her heightened by her arousal for him. He felt as though he needed this to survive and he needed it with her. This was what he wanted and this was the way it needed to be. And God, he loved her. He loved her more than anyone had ever loved anyone else.

He was just about to lose his leathers and tell her do the same with her shorts when a buzzing went off.

Shailene's lips were still before his were, and that's because he had every intention of letting the fucker who was ruining the moment go to voicemail. Shai had other ideas though.

"It's V," she said, breathless as the phone buzzed again.

She sat up straighter, forcing him to step off from her, which was the last thing he wanted. Regardless though, he reached for his cell in the pocket of his leathers and answered.

"What the hell is it?" he barked into it.

"Where the fuck are you two? We're about to go out," he responded with venom in his own voice.

He sighed. "We lost track of time."

"Doing what?" V demanded.

When there was no answer, he went on. "Whatever. Just get here. _Now_."

As Rhage was closing his phone, Shai said, "You have to go."

He looked at her. "What do you mean—"

"I'm sitting tonight out," she told him, avoiding his eyes.

"Shai—"

"You'd better go before V comes over here and sees us like this," she interrupted.

"And that would be such a bad," he said, bitterly sarcastic, but the silence between them after he said it was dangerous.

In her mind, that would be a very bad thing.

"What do I say to them about you?" he asked, resigned to not fighting her on this even though he wanted to. He started putting his close back on properly.

"Just tell them that I'm not up for it."

"Wrath will be worried," he told her, adjusting his gun holster.

"Wrath will deal."

"Will I see you later?" he blurted out

"Rhage, I—"

"Please," he said, and even though he tried to hide the pain in his voice, he knew it was still audible. "Please just answer my question. Will you be at the mansion later, or will I have to come after you again?"

She was quiet for a second, probably thinking about the outcomes of both possibilities. If she went home to the compound then they had a better chance at not being alone together, whereas if he had to come back to the condo they would end up right back where they were.

He hoped she would choose the latter.

"I'll be at the compound."

Never mind then.

He nodded. "Then I'll see you later, M'lady. Maybe."

"Rhage, don't call me that, don't say that," she said, sounding part frustrated, part hopeless.

"Then tell me what you want me to say," he almost-yelled. "Because everything I do just fucks things up more."

He waited for her to say something, anything, but she just stood there, avoiding looking at him, keeping her mouth shut.

"So bye," he said curtly, and dematerialized his ass out of there, not able to be around her for one more second. The searing pain of her rejection cutting him so deep, he wouldn't be surprised to find himself bleeding

"Look who showed up," Phury said when Rhage got in Wrath's study. "Where you been? And where's Shailene?"

"I was just out to see her," he told the room of males. "She's not coming out with us tonight."

"Why not?" Wrath demanded.

"She's not into it tonight—"

"Is she alright?" Wrath's voice got louder as his earlier worry at her strange disappearance got stronger. "Did she get hurt last night? Is there something you two aren't telling me? I swear to the Virgin Rhage—"

"Slow your roll, Wrath," V said, cutting Wrath off in the middle of his threat. "I saw Shailene last night after they came home and she was fine. She's just in the mood to stay tonight, she told me when she called earlier," he explained.

Wrath looked to Rhage. "You're sure she's alright?"

"I'm positive," he said. Technically he wasn't lying. _Physically, _Shailene was perfect, as Rhage knew from personal inspection. Her emotional and mental states of being were still up for debate.

After splitting up teams, Rhage and Vishous, Phury and Zsadist, the fighters were out and into the night.

As Rhage stomped through the widely spread forest, he prayed that he would find an army of _lessers. _He needed an outlet for the fumes burning in his body. The beast was especially on edge right now, all the calm of being with Shailene gone now that he was away from her and pissed off. He couldn't figure out what she wanted. It was clear that she was torn because one second she was telling him that they needed to stay with the way things were supposed to be, then the next she was the least bit resistant. He knew that she was conflicted, but he didn't understand why. If she wanted him like he wanted her than really there wasn't much to think about.

He needed a fight and he needed one badly. The beast was being a real bitch because of both of their aggravation. He was distracted, achy as shit, and pissed off.

"Alright Hollywood, you want to tell me what's going on in that head of yours?" V eventually asked. "Is it Shai?"

He decided to drop the front. V was too smart, and already knew enough. "Yeah, it is. The female's giving me a good dose of head fuck."

V whistled under his breath. "What is it now?"

"She's…" Rhage didn't know what to say. _What_ was she? "I can't even tell you."

"Okay, let me see if I can fill in the blanks. You want each other, but for whatever reason, she's resisting you, and in the process doing a job on your heart strings." V looked at him. "Am I on the right track?"

"You're fucking dead on."

"Ha," V snorted.

"So what's her problem?" Rhage asked. Maybe V would be able to give him a little insight to _his_ relationship.

"She probably doesn't trust you entirely," he said bluntly.

"What the hell?"

Vishous looked at him. "Think, my brother. All she ever hears is about the females you screw, about how you were amazing with those females and all that shit. Now if you were a female, would you go for a male who runs like that?"

Rhage was dumbfounded. "But Shai knows… she told me she understood. It's only because of the beast." Which was pissing him off.

"Maybe she questions if that's really what motivates you; is it really the beast, or is it who you are?"

"It's the beast. One hundred percent." He stomped around some more, wondering how to explain. "Anonymous love isn't a happy thing. All I want is one good female and the rest go fuck themselves for all I care." He let out a bitter little laugh. "Isn't that ironic. I've fucked thousands of faceless, nameless females, none of whom I actually wanted, and now that I've actually found the one that I do love, she wants nothing to do with me." Well this fucking sucked.

"Well I'll be damned," V said, sounding completely shocked. "Rhage the Mighty has fallen. I never thought I'd live to see the day."

Rhage ignored that jibe and continued. "She has to know that if she chose me, I wouldn't need anyone else. She _has_ to know that. Hell, I haven't been near any female with her around because I don't want any other. It's her. And no other female could compare."

"Maybe you should talk to her about it," V suggested.

"I wish she'd let me," Rhage muttered. "Anything else that could be holding her back?"

"She could just be scared," V said simply. "She can handle a lot: the death of her parents, fighting this war, ruling the race with Wrath, but putting her heart out there? That may be too much for her."

"So she can trust me with her life but not her heart?"

"Sometimes it's easier that way. But maybe it's just that she's not used to wanting something for herself. She's spent so much time taking care of the race, and Wrath as they were growing up, and even though none of us would ever really admit it, she takes care of us, too. She puts everyone else first and thinking of what she may want might be overwhelming."

That much made sense to him. Sort of. He'd seen her great kindness and it had been staggering. It was part of the reason he loved her so much.

"But I think she loves you back," he added.

"You think?" Because Rhage didn't. In fact at this point he was pretty sure she only liked stringing him along.

Rhage wanted to beat his own ass for thinking that. He knew that wasn't right. He'd seen the pain in her eyes as she shut him down and the longing in them whenever he advanced. She wasn't doing this to screw with him. She was hurting, too.

"V… I honestly can't be without her," he said, sounding like a total sap and not caring at all.

"She needs to know that. You need to tell her that."

"I've tried—" Rhage was cut off as he heard something approach. "Damn it!"

There had been no wind, there for there was nothing to signal them of the approach of something sickly sweet smelling, something like baby powder…

The gunshots came from behind them, a whole flurry of them setting off one a millisecond after the other. Rhage and Vishous took the first cover they could find, behind two trees. Good news was that they were thick enough to shield their bodies and the bullets pummeling into them did make a shit of a difference to them. Trouble was they were too far from each other for the two of them to work out strategy.

Rhage's phone started to ring, but he only knew it because he could feel the vibration, not because he could hear the damn thing over all the fucking noise. He looked over to see V holding his to his ear.

Rhage answered.

"Do you know how many we're dealing with?" Rhage demanded.

"'Bout four, maybe I'm not sure."

"Should we call for back up?" he asked.

"That might be a good idea. Though I doubt they'll be able to understand thing we're saying," V said angrily.

Rhage gritted his teeth. "You give it a try. I'll start handling the offense."

"Rhage, wait—"

But he'd already hung and was dematerializing to behind the lessers.

He grabbed one, quickly broke his neck but kept the limp body with him, using it as a shield as he started shooting at the other unexpecting _lessers. _V had been wrong. There had been more than four, about six as far as Rhage could see, and Rhage had only been able to take down four of them before they noticed that their target wasn't wear he had been. As they started rounding on him, he took out a dagger, throwing with precise skill, landing it in the _lesser's _chest. There was a pop and a flash, and the _lesser_ was gone.

The move reminded him so much of Shailene, that he was momentarily distracted. It was literally only for a second that he wasn't paying attention, but it was enough time for the remaining lesser to let a bullet fly and land in Rhage's shoulder.

The pain was surprising, enough for him to drop the lesser, and then for him not to take a defensive position as another bullet came at him, landing in his abdominals.

That was enough for him. All the anger at himself, all the frustration at Shailene, all the pain, more emotional than physical, was too much for him to bear. It all came out of him even though he tried to stop it. He tried to hold it all down, but as usual it was too strong for him to fight. There was nothing but white heat, consuming him as his body exploded.

Shailene was still trying to keep her mind busy form Rhage's visit.

She couldn't believe that they'd almost gone _there_ again. He'd tried to kiss her at her piano, where she was still sitting, and she'd been able to resist him then, but then she'd walked away from him, trying to distance herself from him physically because she couldn't do it emotionally. That had been a bad idea. He'd come after her and said the words she wouldn't be able to get out of her head no matter how hard she tried. She knew that he was in love with her, but it was easy to pretend that it was just a passing fancy because he hadn't said the official words. Until now. And she hadn't been able to resist him long after that. But thankfully one of her warriors had saved her again.

It was worse because she wanted what he wanted. It was one thing if she had just been in the moment and gone along with him, but it was completely different because she hadn't just been "in the moment." She thought about him all the time, every minute of the day. She wanted him for the rest of their days to come. For her _hellren_, though she never thought she would desire such a thing. She hadn't wanted it when Hansen had been interested and they were meant to be together. So why did she want it now?

Simple. She didn't want Hansen and she never had. She wanted Rhage.

It was time's like these that she actually wished that she could be simple like everyone else and just do what's expected of her, like mating Hansen. But not everybody was as lucky as Tohrment and Wellsie were, to be in love with the one you were promised to be with. And Shailene would normally go to Wellsie if she had a problem like this, but she didn't want to add any more stress to the female. She was pregnant and about to get a new house guest. She had enough to deal with and didn't need Shailene adding to her full plate.

So she was stuck dealing with her Rhage attraction on her own.

Every time she thought she would finally get over herself and just be with him, her head got in the way, telling her heart to shut the hell up and start thinking logically. After all, as the Promise that was what she was used to doing, and that was her problem.

She and Rhage were not meant to be together. She was pretty sure she wasn't meant to be with anyone. She was made for her race, that was something she'd always been clear on and never had the slightest problem with. A male would tear her away from her purpose and that wasn't acceptable.

Plus, even though she ached without him, she wasn't entirely sure she could trust him. He was what he was, and that was a ladies man. She'd never begrudged him that because she knew about his beast's effects on him, but he had been that way before he was cursed. Was it really because of what the Scribe Virgin had done to him that drove him into the arms of all those lovers, or was it just him? She'd only been with one male. One male and that was it, so what if she wasn't enough for him? She would _never _be able to forgive him if it turned out she wasn't and he needed to go seeking another female. She would never be able to forgive herself. She could endure a lot. Hell, she and Wrath had already with very little but each other, but she couldn't deal with the shattering of her heart. It had already happened once and she wasn't sure she'd live through it again.

And wasn't that a bitch. She talked a lot of game, like she could take on the world with one hand behind her back, and physically, she was telling the truth. Emotionally, she was as delicate as everyone thought her to be, though she held that part back successfully. But the truth was she was still in pain.

And Rhage might be able to heal her. She could see how she would fall irreversibly in love with him and let him take her distress away with a few touches of his lips and a few soft brushes of his fingers and some gentle words whispered in her ear. Everything would be perfect. That is, until he broke her heart. Or the stress of both their lives tore them apart.

She took a deep breath, trying unsuccessfully to get the Rhage thoughts, both good and bad, to leave her alone. She started playing the song she'd been playing when he'd walked in on her, finally finishing the harmony to go with the melody she'd thought up that afternoon. Some lyrics were even starting to come her.

"That's really nice," a female voice said from behind her.

"Jesus, Beth," she gasped. "You scared me." That was twice in one night. She must really be out of it.

Beth laughed a little. "There's a first. Usually you can sense someone coming the moment they decide that they are."

Shai sighed. "I'm a little off lately."

"You don't say," she said, coming into the room.

"I guess I'm not doing a very good job of hiding it," she agreed.

"No you haven't. And Wrath is getting worried." Beth sat beside her on the bench. "You want to talk about whatever's bugging you?"

"It's complicated and doesn't make much sense to me, so I wouldn't expect anyone else to understand. "

"I understand a lot of things," Beth said.

"I know you do. You'd have to, to be mated to Wrath."

"Wrath's not that big of a challenge if you know how to handle him," Beth said with a sly smile on

beautiful face and Shai tried not to visualize the things she was sure Beth was. "And don't try to change

the subject. What's going on?"

This was what Shailene loved about Beth. She was a perfect balance of compassion and strength, the

perfect match for her brother and an amazing person for her to find a friend in. She was so much like

Darius.

"It's mostly Rhage," she admitted.

"What's he done now," Beth asked expectantly.

"He hasn't done anything _wrong,_ exactly," Shai explained. "He's just… I don't even know where to start. We've hit a complication that I never expected in a million years."

"A complication?" Beth asked warily.

She took another deep breath. "Our relationship has gone past what it's supposed to be. He says he… loves me."

Beth laughed. "Shailene, love isn't a complication. It's a gift. I would think the Promise would know that. Isn't that supposed to be what you're all about?"

"I do know that. But it's not a gift when you're me. I can't be in love with a male when I'm supposed to be all about the race."

"Who say's?" Beth asked.

"I do. It's something that became clear to me a long time ago. I couldn't even be with the male who was promised to me."

"Maybe that's because he wasn't who you're meant to be with. Maybe Rhage _is_," Beth suggested.

Shai didn't know what to say that. She'd already canceled out the possibility that she and Rhage were meant to be, the way Beth was meant to be with Wrath. But hearing Beth say it made her question it all over again.

"I think you're just scared of letting yourself want something for yourself," Beth said.

"Excuse me?" Shai asked.

"You spend all your time saving lives and fighting the good fight and taking care of those around you, right?"

Shai nodded. "Yes, that's right."

"Does that ever bother you? Putting everyone else before you, I mean."

Shai shook her head. "Not at all."

"Well that's your problem. You're so focused on what everyone else wants. What do you want?"

"I want my race safe. I want my brother happy, I want my warriors healthy," she answered immediately

"What do you want for yourself?" Beth asked.

Shai stopped. No one had asked her that question in a long time. And she hadn't asked herself that question ever.

She knew the answer though. _Rhage_.

"I have everything I need," she answered.

Beth shook her head. "That's not what I asked."

Shailene tried to think of the difference between what Beth had asked and how she'd answered.

"You see?" Beth said as Shailene hesitated. "You completely stall out when it comes to something you _want_. What you want is Rhage, but you're so not used to wanting something for yourself, that now that's it's actually happened, you've shut yourself off from it. Almost like you feel guilty for thinking of yourself for once."

Shailene didn't answer, though she had a dreadful feeling that Beth was right.

"What's wrong with letting yourself have what you want?" she asked gently.

Shai let out a hard, humorless laugh. "Rhage asked me the same the same thing."

"He's a smart male."

"I know he is."

"You do a lot of good things, Promise. You can afford to be selfish for once. Though letting yourself fall in love is far from selfish."

"I'm not used to it," Shai admitted. "I'm not used to any of this. I feel vulnerable, scared, insecure, out of control. God I'm a mess." She leaned her elbows onto the keys, an ugly sound coming from them, and put her face in her hands.

Beth laughed again. "Love will do that to you."

"Well the saying 'love bites' actually rings true. This sucks. But you'd think I would know that by now." She peaked at Beth from between her fingers. "I'm not as smart as everyone thinks I am."

Beth laughed some more, then her voice dropped, getting serious. "Do you love him?"

Shai waited a moment before answering, so that the answer would be true.

"Yeah, I do," she whispered, knowing she meant it and feeling relieved to have it out in the air instead of trapped in her chest like it had been.

"So you should tell him. He told you."

"There's so much holding me back. My calling, his sex addiction, my own insecurities that I won't be what he needs."

"Those are things that you'll work out with him, and maybe even on your own. But while you're doing that, think about whether those things you just mentioned are real reasons for the two of you not to be together, or if they're just excuses."

Shailene straightened and really looked at Beth. "You're amazing, you know that. Wrath found himself a good one."

She laughed, the tension in the room draining. "He's lucky to have me," she said jokingly.

"Yeah, he is." Shailene took Beth's hands and squeezed. "And so am I. You know a lot of the time people come to me looking for advice. It's nice to know I have someone to go to when I need it, now that Wellsie is going to be tied up with the baby."

"I'm here whenever you need me," Beth said earnestly. "And speaking of need, I don't think the whole 'Rhage may not need me thing' is going to be a problem. He's back at the mansion and he's been asking for you."

"What?" she asked.

"His beast came out and he's not feeling the best. He keeps saying your name. That's why I came over here."

Rhage was asking for her? "Okay let's go."

They dematerialized at the same time, both of them landing in front of Rhage's door. When they opened the door, all of the Brotherhood including Butch, minus Tohr, was in the room, making the large space look like a shoe box.

Shailene started to get alarmed. It was unusual for the whole Brotherhood to be in to see Rhage at the same time just because his beast came out. Normally they all came to check in on him but hardly ever all at once. Something here was different, was wrong.

"What's going on here?" she demanded, loud and clear.

"Thank the Virgin," Phury said as everyone got out of her way.

"What happened? Why are you all here?"

"He got shot out in the field and the beast came out," Vishous answered.

She looked down at Rhage on the bed. "That's not unusual." But Rhage looked worse than usual.

"He was shot in the stomach, right below his rib cage. He's not responding to us like he usually does so we called Havers. We're afraid that something might have been ruptured. He lost a lot of blood."

"How long ago did you call him?"

"'Bout ten minutes ago," Phury said.

Rhage started to cough, a liquidy, gurgling sound. He was very pale, and now that Shailene really looked him over she could see the spots where the bullets entered his body. Both the bullets were still inside him.

"Shai," he rasped. His big hand reached out, searching aimlessly through empty air.

She grabbed on. "I'm here," she whispered only for him. She sat on the bed next to him, brushing his back with gentle fingers.

She did the normal thing, searching through him with her extra senses to see if he was truly hurt, all the while trying to keep the panic at bay.

"He's okay," she sighed in relief. "He's lost more blood than usual, and I need to get the bullets out of him, but other than that, he just needs some R&R."

"What can we do," Wrath asked.

"Just get the usual stuff too clean his wounds and then some hot soapy water to clean the rest of him. Oh and Alka-Seltzer. Bring a lot of it." When no one moved, she looked at the still room. "I'd like it _tonight_ please."

That got them moving, everyone leaving the room except V, who'd she'd asked to stay.

"How did this happen?" she demanded of him.

"We were ambushed," he sighed.

"Ambushed?" she asked skeptically. "How is that possible? You couldn't hear them or smell them?"

"We were distracted."

"And what was so important that you weren't concentrating on the hunt?" she almost growled.

"You," he answered bluntly.

That brought her to a halt. "You were talking about me?"

"Yeah," V said flatly. "The male was pretty down. He had a lot on his mind so we started talking. The _lessers_ came in on us before we could see them."

Well didn't that make her feel like a big bag of shit. Rhage had been hurt out in the field because he'd been concentrating on her. "Dear Virgin in the Fade."

"You know he loves you, right?" V asked her, like she was stupid. Which she was.

"I know. But that's not important when you're out in the field—"

"To a bonded male, his female is always important."

She tried to respond and couldn't. Rhage was hurt because of her. _Oh God…_

"You two have some shit to sort out and you better do it fast," V instructed. "We can't afford for him to get hurt like this again. Next time he may not be so lucky."

Shai knew he was right. And just as she was about to say so, everyone filed back in the room, bringing all that she'd asked for. They were there for a moment, then they left her alone with him.

_We were ambushed. _The words rang in her head.

"Jesus Rhage," she whispered to him as the guilt settled in.

She moved to the stomach wound first. Of course it would be the worse of the two wounds, deeper and bleeding more.

"Okay Rhage," she breathed. "This is going to hurt. Just try to stay still and we'll get through this together."

She didn't wait for him to nod or respond in anyway. She just gingerly stuck her fingers and stated digging. It wasn't too far in and that was the only reason she was able to do this. That and the fact that she could heal any extra damage she made.

He started grunting, his hands grabbing at the sheets and balling them up in his fists.

"We're almost there," she said frantically. She yanked it out fast.

The next one wasn't as bad as the first but it sure as hell wasn't a party.

_We were distracted_.

"Jesus, Rhage," she whispered. "You don't know how sorry I am."

She tried to stop the tears she could feel smarting in her eyes, but they came anyway. This was all her fault. Everything was her fault.

She cleaned the wounds next, but that didn't stop the bleeding.

"I need to close these, okay?" she told him.

Oh God. How was she going to do this? The wounds weren't exactly in chaste places.

Oh what the hell. Considering the fact that they'd gotten pretty close to getting naked twice in the last two nights, closing a few erotically place wounds shouldn't be that big a deal.

She leaned over his stomach, holding back her hair, and gently placed her mouth over the hole.

Oh jeez. He tasted good. She ran her tongue over the hole, savouring the sweet taste of him. The last time she'd taken from him hadn't lasted nearly long enough and now that she was tasting him again, she wanted more.

How amazingly inappropriate.

He started grunting again, his mouth working, trying to form words.

"What?" She leaned her ear over his mouth so he didn't feel the need to work so hard for to hear.

"That feel's nice," he rasped. "But you're supposed to be… sealing my wounds. Not making a hobby out of it."

She was silent, shocked that he would say something like that at a moment like this. But then he let out a rough laugh and she had to laugh with him.

"Did you seriously just say that?" she asked incredulously. "Are you complaining?"

He shook his head a little. "Not at all."

She laughed a little more. "Stop talking, you jerk," she said, moving to his shoulder. "You need to save your energy."

She sealed the wound there too, but as his blood hit her tongue again, her humor died. This was blood shed because of her, because he'd been thinking about the pain she was inflicting on him.

_And what was so important that you weren't concentrating on the hunt?" _

_You_.

She turned her head away from him, not wanting him to see the tears in her eyes.

"Shai," he whispered. "It's okay."

"No it's not," she sobbed. "This is my fault."

"It was… just the beast."

"This time it's the beast. Next time it could be your life."

"Don't… worry," he rasped. "Don't be sad."

She shook her head. In a moment like this, when he probably felt like he was at death's doorstep, he was worrying more about her than himself.

"Don't worry about me, Rhage," she whispered to him, stroking his hair. "I'm okay. Just rest." She reached over to his bedside table. "Here's some Alka-Seltzer."

She opened the can and poured it in the glass, but all the while, she knew that wasn't what he needed. What he needed was blood. She could tell that this wasn't just the average the-beast-has-torn-him-apart thing. He was in danger here. Fortunately, she could help with that.

"Rhage," she said quietly. "I think you need to feed."

He stopped drinking and just looked at her, surprised.

She didn't wait for him to respond. She just offered him her wrist.

After some hesitation, he took her arm gingerly, though that may have been because he was too weak to use any real force. He brought her to his mouth but before he did anything, he looked at her questioningly, as if making sure she was sure.

She nodded. "Go ahead."

He ran his lips over the vein first, a gentle caress before sinking his fangs in.

He was ever so careful with her, as if she was the one who was about to break and it made her see how much he really cared about her. It made her love him all the more. This felt right. She'd taken from him, he'd given her a piece of himself, and now she was doing the same by giving him her blood. It was the way things needed to be.

To hell with her worries. He wanted her and she wanted him and whatever complications came at them, they would deal with, of that she was sure.

When he had taken his fill, she quickly washed him, then got into the bed next to him, lending him her warmth, safe in the conviction that they were would be together in the next night.


	10. Chapter 10: Done

**A/N: Get ready to start with the warm fuzzies! So excited.**

**This chapter's song should negate what is written above. I'll let you draw your own conclusion. I've picked Avril Lavigne's song "Forgotten". Really angry, really strong. I hate to give spoilers, but it **_**is **_**part of the routine****have a song so…**

**Here it is.**

Forgotten

Ah ah ah ah  
Ah ah ah ah

I'm giving up on everything  
Because you messed me up  
Don't know how much you  
Screwed it up  
You never listened  
That's just too bad  
Because I'm moving on  
I won't forget  
You were the one that was wrong  
I know I need to step up and be strong  
Don't patronize me  
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Have you forgotten?  
Everything that I wanted  
Do you forget it now  
You never got It  
Do you get it now  
Yea yea yea yea yea  
Yea yea yea yea yea

Ah ah ah ah  
Ah ah ah ah

Gotta get away  
There's no point in thinking about yesterday  
It's too late now  
It won't ever be the same  
We're so different now  
Yea yea yea yea yea

Have you forgotten?  
Everything that I wanted  
Do you forget it now  
You never got It  
Do you get it now  
Yea yea yea yea yea  
Yea yea yea yea yea

I know I wanna run away  
I know I wanna run away  
Run away  
If only I could run away  
If only I could run away  
Run away  
I told you what i wanted I  
I told you what i wanted  
What I wanted  
But I was forgotten  
I won't be forgotten  
Never Again

Have you forgotten?  
Everything that I wanted  
Do you forget it now  
You never got It  
Do you get it now  
Yea yea yea yea yea  
Yea yea yea yea yea  
(x2)

Forgotten  
Yeah yeah yeah  
Forgotten  
Yeah yeah yeah  
Forgotten  
Yeah yeah yeah  
Forgotten  
Yeah yeah yeah

**I know, I know, a kind of intense. Oh well. I guess it's time to up the angst a bit. **

**Disclaimer: **I don't believe in copyright infringement, so I'll tell you know, the Brothers are not mine.

Chapter 10: Done

The next evening, Rhage was awake and surprised. Normally when his beast came out of him, he was nothing but a hot mess. His vision took a little vacation, and when it would get back to work was anyone's guess. His stomach was so completely off, the very thought of food made him wish for a barf bag. His body ached as if someone had been using him as a punching bag. Plus his arms and legs were worthless limbs that just hung off his torso, not quite useless, but damn near close. Of course, these were the results of what would happen _normally_.

Tonight was not normal, the only thing that really wasn't out of the ordinary was the fact that the beast was pretty much absent. Instead of the normal pain and discomfort that he usually felt throughout his body, he only had minor aches, nothing more really than a few days-old bruises is what he felt like he had. He flexed his arms and legs, noticing how there was sensation in them instead of that dreadful numb feeling. His stomach wasn't feeling too hot, but at least his eyes were working just fine.

This meant that in the gentle, sultry illumination of the candles lit around his room, he could see the small lump in his bed right next to him. Which explained why his morning hard-on was more demanding than usual.

Once again he woke up to find Shailene in his bed, but this time he wasn't surprised. He remembered all the important things about last night, except for the parts where he'd been a snarling, ugly-ass dragon of course, and he remembered what had happened between them at her condo. He'd said the binding words, the ones where he professed his love for her and she had refused to accept them. Even after the events that had followed only moments later she still wouldn't accept him. He remembered her face as he'd left her, pained and hopeless. He didn't exactly remember coming back to the compound but he did remember what had happened when he and Shai had been alone afterwards. She'd cared for him, despite her frustration at him, cleaning his wounds and sealing them up and washing his body. She'd even been worried about him, insisting that what had happened that night was her fault.

Rhage didn't care about the fight they'd gotten into and he didn't care that the beast had come out of him the night before. All that really registered to him was that Shailene had cared for him, more thoroughly then she had in the past, and she'd stayed with him the whole day.

He sat up and looked down at her. Love swelled in his chest, making it hard for him to breathe. He loved her so much in that moment that he was afraid of her. The only thing that could make the moment between them more perfect was if she felt the same way he did.

She rolled over then, giving him full view of her. Her hair was recklessly spread across his pillows, the long, dark, thick waves covering almost every inch of white there was. The way her face looked, so peaceful and beautiful and innocent, almost younger actually, made him see her for what she really was. She talked a lot of talk, and sometimes she even put up a few walls, but there was vulnerability in her, and it was showing here and now. This was what she really was, and he felt so blessed to finally see her for real.

She was very warm, in turn making him warm seeing as she was so close to him, and he felt like that warmth was what had saved him last night. Well, that and her blood.

He licked his lips, remembering the taste of her. She'd been unbelievable, a hot , delicious blaze of strength in his mouth and down his throat. He had a feeling that he felt more normal than usual after an episode was because she had fed him. God, she was his _rahlman_, saving him that first night they went out, and last night as well. But she was also his _pyrocant_, his critical weakness, because even though he would never blame her for what happened last night, it wasn't untrue that he'd been thinking about her and that was the reason that _lesser_ had gotten the best of him.

She started to mumble a bit, clearly on the brink of waking up. Her arm came up and she rubbed her eyes and in turn gave him a clear view of the bite marks he'd given her the night before. His fangs elongated as he recalled her taste once again. His cock throbbed even more, jumping a bit. Shit, he wanted her.

She opened her eyes, meeting his instantly. A soft smile came on her face.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hi," he replied.

"How are you feeling?" she asked. "Do you need anything? I could get you—"

He stopped her anxious rambles by taking one of her graceful hands and pressing his lips to it. "Stop," he murmured against her knuckles. "I'm fine."

She relaxed a little.

"You know that's twice now," he said casually, her hand still in his.

She looked confused. "Twice what?"

"Twice that you saved my life," he explained. "And neither times did I thank you."

She smiled again, this time a little broader. "Don't mention it."

He kissed her hand again, then placed it over his heart. "Thank you," he said to her reverently, bowing his head in respect to the Promise, as was customary and what she deserved.

Her free hand reached up to stroke his cheek. "You're welcome."

He looked into her eyes, those pale green eyes that could be as hard as the diamonds that they resembled, yet always managed to show him warmth, no matter what stupid shit he pulled. Those green eyes were filled with compassion and love on a regular basis. They were like that now, so sweet and inviting. Rhage wouldn't mind staring into them for rest of his life. He wouldn't mind losing the very essence of himself to those eyes.

The peace of the moment was so perfect, both of them content in the other's company, no complications, no worries, no fighting.

"I would thank you properly, if you would let me," he said to her gently, not really expecting her to allow him to.

She surprised him by asking, "How?" Because she must know what he meant.

There were no signs of uncertainty in her eyes but still he was slow as he bent down to where she was, giving her ample time to turn away before it was too late. She stayed where she was.

As he brushed the wisps of hair out of her face, he was worried about crossing any lines again. He didn't want to ruin the peace between them in this moment, and was afraid that this might turn out to be like all the other times, where it seemed like she wanted it at first and then changed her mind in the middle.

Something was different about this time from the other times he'd advanced on her. Her eyes were steady and clear, holding only anticipation in them.

He finally made it to her mouth and what a pleasure it was. He kissed her soft and slow, being gentle with her so she didn't get overwhelmed and feel the need to separate herself from him again. So he was soft with her, caressing her face with his hands, stroking her lips with his. She sighed, opening her mouth, giving him enough space to slip his tongue inside. He alternated between stroking her tongue and deep, rhythmic thrusts, determined to be in her one way or another.

Their kiss, still soft and sweet, started to pick up momentum and kept going on that track, everything growing more urgent as hands started searching and seeking and bodies started undulating. She wrapped her arms around his neck and started to sit up, moving him so that he didn't have to bend to get to her. When they were both halfway vertical, he pulled her into his lap so that they were facing each other and every part of their upper bodies were touching. He felt her fingers thread through his hair and she held on tighter to him. He could smell her arousal, her natural fragrance heightened and wafting through the room. It set a buzzing off in his head, stripping him of all thought that wasn't about her and where their bodies touched.

Eventually they had to break to breathe, but he didn't want to lose the taste of her, so his lips went to her neck, kissing his way around her jaw, trailing his lips up and down her throat, nipping along her collar bone. Her head fell back as she moaned, and when he got to her drinking point, that vital vein of hers, all he could think about was what her blood had been like in his mouth. His fangs, already elongated, started to throb. Her hands cranked down a bit on his hair. He wanted to drink from her so badly, especially with the way her hands held his head in place as if that's what she wanted, too. He kept going along the path of that vein, the question he was asking clear as day.

"Yes," was her breathless answer.

His fangs slid into her delicate skin, easy as if he was cutting through butter, straight into the vein.

Holy hell, she was perfect, even better than his memories served though it had been less than twenty-four hours since he'd had her last. She was like thick heavy wine and he took strong pulls, drinking her down deep. He could feel himself strengthening immediately, the fountain of life at his lips and the fact that it was her, that he was living off her at the moment, were heady sensations that he clung to. It was probably one of those things that he would never get used to. He hoped that was something he'd get to find out.

His hands started traveling on her; he couldn't help it and she wasn't refusing. In fact for the first time, she was the least bit resistant, one of her hands traveling down his back and sinking her nails in, moaning louder and louder. And seeing as they seemed to be on the same damn page for once, he wanted to taste more of her, feel more of her. There was the not so brief thought in his head that they would take things all the way this time, but he thought it was probably better to leave his twitching cock out of this. He would make this time all about her, so that she would know that she could trust him.

He unlatched himself from her neck long enough to pull her shirt over her head, and when her upper body was completely bare, he took her back down on the bed, her body under his. He captured her breasts with his hands, teasing the hard nipples with his thumbs, messaging them with his palms and fingers. She moaned his name this time, and it just might have been the most incredible sound he'd ever heard. He detached himself from her throat once more, this time sealing up the bite marks with a few flicks of his tongue, then he started to move south.

One of his hands went to her sternum, feeling her heart beat. It thumped hard in her chest and he pressed his lips to it before moving to her breast, and as he suckled her he slid his hands under her shoulder blades to bring her closer to his mouth. His tongue flicked over her perfect nipple as his mouth took deep dragging pulls at the large swell of feminine flesh. His name sounded again, that same breathless gasp that made his cock jump for her. He started moving again, raking his fangs softly down her flat, femininely muscled stomach, planting kisses as well, until he got to her navel. He licked his way around that black sun tattoo that circled her navel, just as he'd imagined he would, and as he did that, he started to slide the black cut off shorts down her sleek legs, taking her panties with them and spreading her legs wide.

He moved down that beautiful spot that he'd been dying to get close to for what seemed like so long now.

"You're exactly how I imagined you," he told her, transfixed by this beautiful part of her. "You're on fire, drenched in honey, swollen." He licked his lips, ready to devour her. "Is this all for me, Shai?" His voice was so guttural when he spoke, he could only hope that she understood what he was saying to her.

He pressed his mouth to her and she muffled what sounded like a scream. She was a screamer. Man, that got him going. To hear her keening cries was the best kind of motivation, as if he needed any extra.

He licked right up the centre of her, then plunged in with his tongue. He paid as much attention to her as possible while he continued with the sucking and licking, trying to figure out what she liked best and making her work for it. He drew her out, knowing that the anticipation would make it all the more amazing for her in the end.

He was about ready to orgasm the second he had put his tongue to her and tasted the honey from her, and the small of his back tightened like it always did before he blew apart as she started to writhe under him, her hands grabbing at the sheets and balling it up in her fists. But every time he thought he might come, he sucked it back. He wanted to make sure this time was for her, he wanted to concentrate on her and he couldn't do that if he was in his own throes of ecstasy. Plus, he wanted to make damn sure that the first time came when he was with her like was deep inside of her. So his cock's needs were going to have to wait.

When she started to beg he got serious.

"Please," she begged roughly. "Please Rhage…"

He looked up at her, meeting her eyes as he took two of his fingers and drew them inside his mouth. They came out glossy from between his lips and bent back over her, leading with his tongue.

She cried out even louder than before as he penetrated her with his fingers and licked at that sensitive bundle of nerves at the same time. He didn't have to pump his fingers or suck at her long before she shouted his name a third time. Her whole body clenched up, tightening in a full on body spasm. Her teeth and eyes were clenched shut as her face strained in what looked like a kind of beautiful agony. He kept going at her though, even as she orgasmed, helping her ride out the waves and prolong the moment for her, but if he was being honest, he was a crass bastard. If he was being honest, he would admit that it was also for him as much as it was for her. He wanted to watch her peak at the height of her pleasure forever.

She was the most spectacular thing he'd ever seen.

She came down from her high and Rhage still had his fingers buried deep within her and the taste of her core was still on his tongue. Keeping himself inside her, he prowled up her body and looked into her eyes. They were wide and glazed over, but they concentrated on him none the less.

"Thank you," he said reverently.

She smiled at him, and he realized she was still a little out of breath. The idea that she was panting for him, that she'd called out his name because of the way he'd made her feel was an extraordinary feeling. He couldn't wait to do it to her all over again.

"I should be thanking you," she replied.

"You gave me something I'll cherish forever," he told her. And knowing that he probably shouldn't say this, but needing to anyways, he finished with, "I love you."

His worries were for nothing. She smiled at him. A real smile, and reached up to stroke his face. "Oh, Rhage I—"

At that moment, the alarm clock went off. They both groaned.

"Time to get up," she sighed.

He grumbled. Getting her back into clothes was opposite of what he wanted.

Regardless, he said, "I could use a shower."

He width drew his fingers from inside her, savouring the taste as he licked them clear of her. Good God. She tasted good.

Shailene groaned.

"What is it?"

"You teed me up again," she explained,

He growled, leaned into her, and started kissing her neck all over again. She craned her head to the side, automatically giving him better access to her.

He nuzzled the bite mark he'd just given her, as if he was saying another thank you, and whispered in her ear. "I can take care of that if you want me to," he growled.

She laughed and shoved at his shoulders gently. "Go take your shower," she instructed.

He laughed too, then placed a soft kiss to the bite make then another lingering one to her lips. She kissed him back for a moment, then pulled away, lying back on the bed.

He loved that she would just lounge around in his bed, staying in her atmosphere of bliss. He also loved the way her eyes followed him as he left her side.

He missed her the second the door closed between them.

Rhage started the shower and waited for it to get warm enough and naturally, his thoughts were all about Shailene. Something was different between them. This time was different. He had a feeling that she wasn't going to pull away from him this time. She'd been right there with him the whole time, not once resistant, not once did she tell him to stop. And what do you know, the soft and yielding side to her was just as attractive as the strong-willed one.

He was almost certain they would have more times like that, times where they would stay locked away in each other's arms for hours on end. Maybe she would let him make love to her, and though he wanted it badly, he wasn't going to rush it. Shailene wasn't the average female, as was obvious. Unlike a lot of people, she respected her body and took care of herself, so she might want to take things slow with him and he was content to go at whatever pace made her happy. Hell, if she wanted to be courted then he would do that. He would do anything as long as he got to keep her, any way she came to him. Anything as long as she would have him.

Anything as long as she remained _his_.

He got under the spray of the shower, washing himself, and again the water reminded him of her. He was acutely aware that he was still hard and that he couldn't go back to her like this. He needed to take care of himself, like he had two nights ago when waking up with her, only this time he had new memories of her to occupy his. He remembered the taste of her, her scent, the sound of his name as it left her lips, how she moved against his mouth, the way she looked as she came for him...

He came long and hard for God only knows how long.

He was happy to get back to her by the time he wrapped a towel around his hips and started to for the bedroom.

The first thing he noticed as he walked into the room was the bonding that covered everything, but soon Shai was what he focused on. He'd opened the door just as she was getting off the phone. He could tell that something was wrong with her. She was sitting on the edge of the bed on the side farthest from him with the sheet hitched up under her arms and wrapped her, her shoulders were hunched, her usually perfect posture gone.

"Shai?" When he called her name her head drooped lower. "What's the matter?"

She looked over her shoulder at him, a regretful smile on her face. She held up the phone. "That was Hansen."

Hansen…

Rhage growled.

She sighed.

"What does he want?" he demanded, though he already knew. He tried to keep down the rest of the growls

"He needs… to feed," she said.

As she started to put her clothes back on, dropping the sheet from her and giving him view to the royal tattoo on her neck and shoulder, the same one as Wrath's, and the moon tattoo at the small of her back. The rumbling that had been building in his chest started to break free of the barrier of his lips.

"I forgot I was supposed to go tonight," she said hurriedly, sounding like she was talking to herself.

"You two planned when to see each other?" he hissed.

"He called yesterday when I was at the Condo," she told him.

"Before or after I was there?" For some reason, the when really mattered to him.

She turned to him when she was back in her clothes. She looked him dead in the eye. "Before," she said in a steady voice.

"What are you doing? Are you going to go see him?" he almost snarled.

"Rhage please don't—"

"You're going to see him?" he asked in angry disbelief.

"Rhage, I have to."

"Why?"

"I'm his blood mate. And he needs me now," she said gently.

He growled in earnest now, sounding like a tiger.

She walked over to him and took his face in her hands. "Rhage look at me," she commanded and he could not refuse. "I have to go see him. He's got no one else."

"But what about…" he let the statement trail off. It was clear what he was asking.

"I'll talk to him so he can find someone else. This is only for tonight," she said, her voice light and easy. He nodded, but clearly she could still see the this-is_-not-_okay in his face.

"Please don't be mad," she pleaded.

Her eyes searched his, and he could hear the reason in what she was saying. Didn't mean it made him happy, though.

Still, he nodded.

"Okay," she said in a careful tone. "I'm guessing you don't want to come, so just stay here and out of Wrath's sight. I'll call you when I get there and we'll talk when I get back."

He nodded once more, then she pressed her lips to his again. He couldn't resist kissing her back. He wished she would give him more time, more time to stake the claim on her like he wanted.

She separated from him way to soon, smiled at him once, then left the room.

Rhage staggered over to his bed and collapsed on it.

Hansen…

Hansen, the male she fed from. Another male was calling to her for blood and she was just going to him, giving him what she had given Rhage mere moments ago. It was such a precious gift, her trusting him that way, and it was something that he wanted reserved for him exclusively. If someone else was drinking from her, didn't it diminish its meaning?

But this was Hansen, he reminded himself. She'd been feeding from this male since her transition. Like Shai had said, he had no one else and this was the last time because she was going to tell him about her and Rhage and he would find some other female to feed from and leave Rhage's the fuck alone. His blood still boiled at the thought of any other male touching her, of her connecting with someone else like they just had, but he could hold it for one night.

But then he stopped thinking about Shai's intentions and started thinking about Hansen's.

Big mistake.

It was no secret that Hansen and Shailene were meant to be together in the sense that that's what their parents had in mind for them. Shailene had told Rhage as much two nights ago. And though she said she had no romantic interest in Hansen, it was clear that Hansen did. Rhage had met the male a few times, always with Shailene around, and the way that his eyes trailed after her wherever she went, the way he blocked out the rest of the world whenever she was talking, or how his face lit up when she addressed him were all obvious tipoffs to his feelings. Hansen wanted what their parents had planned for the two of them. He probably relished the fact that up until two nights ago, not that he knew this, he was the only one who had ever been with her physically and up until last night, he'd been the only one to drink from her, ever in both cases.

Was it crazy that Rhage felt threatened?

No, he decided. Hansen was a wealthy, strong male from a strong blood line with all the resources he would need to take care of a female of Shailene's stature. He was on the _Princeps_ council with her. They were close friends. They'd been promised to each other. And he was in love with her. He was so much better for her than a POS warrior with a shady past and an apparent sex addiction who went out every night risking his life and was a ticking time bomb for an ugly-ass dangerous beast.

And maybe Shailene wasn't into Hansen in any special way but Rhage was positive that when she told him about her and Rhage, he would start fighting for her true affections. What if she wasn't able to resist Hansen once he truly started to fight for her? What if she finally saw everything her parents had seen for her? She would leave Rhage in the dust like the maggot he was. And he couldn't deal with that.

He noticed that the ripping sound coming from his chest had started up again. When had this insane jealousy started to take over his life? It was love, he thought. It made him feel completely out of control when it came to Shailene. Images of her wrapped in Hansen's strong arms, her head tilted to the side to accommodate him, his teeth sinking into her jugular, fought through the barriers he was trying to hold them behind and assaulted his frontal lobe. He could see it all happen. He could see the two of them losing themselves to the feeding and concentrating on nothing but each other. He could see him starting to undress her and lay her out as he mounted her. He could see her _letting_ him. And worst of all he could see her looking at him with same kind of affection in those magic green eyes that had been there when she looked at Rhage.

Rhage busted up from his sitting position, unable to be still anymore. He started pacing, trying to work out some of the angry energy that he was now filled with. It was either that or he would go track Hansen down and beat a commitment of no-touching-his-female out of him.

_It's only for one night, it's only for one night_, he chanted to himself.

But a lot could happen in one night. He was perfect proof of this fact: he'd fallen in love with Shailene in one night. Shailene could realize that it was Hansen she wanted in this one night. And he'd yet to be inside her truly. The bonding scent, even though it came off of him whenever they were intimate, wasn't sticking to her the way it would if they'd had sex. He hadn't marked her yet so no male would know that she had a mate.

Hansen might still think he had a chance.

The growling was getting worse. It was almost at roaring status now, and the beast was haywire in his body, as enraged as he was.

No fucking way was she going to that bastard. No _fucking_ way.

Rhage went to his closet and was dressed and out of the thing in ten seconds flat. He tried to convince himself not to walk the door. He tried to tell his hand not to turn the door knob. He told himself no as he knocked on her door. He didn't listen to himself.

"Rhage," she said absently when the door opened.

She was dressed simply enough, just a white tank top and some dark skinny jeans, her hair in a French braid. But she looked the way she always did, which was perfect.

Not okay if she was going to see Hansen.

She was just putting on that same leather jacket she'd worn the night they'd gone exploring when he walked in the room.

"What's going on?" she said as she looked at his face and got good whiff of his emotions. And quite possibly the bonding scent that was coming off of him, triggered by the jealousy.

"I don't want you to go to Hansen," he said flatly.

"Rhage, I thought you were okay—"

"Well I'm not," he cut her off.

"It's only for tonight."

"How do I know that?"

"What are you talking about?" she demanded. "You know because I told you so."

"You plan on telling Hansen about us, yes or no?" he asked.

"Yes, I do," she answered in an equally hard voice.

"When he finds out about us, don't you think he'll do everything in his power not to lose you?"

"Why would you think that—"

"Hansen is in love with you," he informed her. "And he'll do anything to keep you.

She looked down, away from his eyes, fidgeting with her fingers. "I know."

He was speechless. She knew. She knew that Hansen wanted her and she was still going to see him after what they'd shared.

She came closer to him deliberately and urgently, like she was reading his mind and knew exactly how he felt about this.

"But I don't love him," she told him.

"Yet," he said gravely.

"So what do you think is going to happen? I tell him what happened between you and me and he starts to fight for me. He pulls out some fancy stuff, tells me that he loves me, too, and I fall for him the same way, I just finally realize what my parents had in mind when they promised him to me? And what happens to you, I just leave you here to wallow in misery?" She glared at him. "How naïve do you think I am?"

"You two are already close friends," he pointed out harshly. "It can't take a big step for him to make you see him as a mate."

"V and I are close friends. Phury and I are close friends. Why aren't you worried about me mating one of them?" she demanded.

He growled.

"I've had the option of mating Hansen for over three hundred years now. If I wanted that, or ever would want that, it would have happened by now."

"Things change," he said in a low voice.

"But this won't," she said, gentle now, trying, he could see, to get him to see reason. "You have to trust me, alright?" she said, looking at him in that hypnotic way that made his brain matter turn to mush and put him in the palm of her hand. "You have to trust that I will tell Hansen the truth and that I will come back to you."

"I do trust you," he said. "It's him I don't trust."

"Well if the former is true, then the latter doesn't matter."

"It still worries me."

"I told you to stop doing that."

"And I told you that no matter what you say, I'm going to worry about you. Please don't go to him."

She shook her head a little. "Rhage—"

"No, hear me out," he said quickly. "He needs to know about us. So call him. Tell him the truth, that he needs to find a new blood mate because we're together. There, problem solved."

She smiled sadly. "Problem not solved. Hansen has been there for me for my whole life. He deserves more than a phone call. I have to go to him this last time."

He looked at her in disbelief. "You're really going to go to him?"

_She's choosing him over me_…

She shook her head a little frantically. "No Rhage. It's not like that. There's nothing to choose, I want to be with you—"

"But you're still going to him!" he yelled

"Yes!" she shouted back.

"Why?"

"Because I have to!"

"You have to, really?"

"Yes, I have to," she said. "I do. But I'll come back to you."

"Will you?" he demanded.

"Would you just stop—"

"What if he doesn't find someone else and he calls you again? What are you going to do then? You're going to have to go then, too," he hypothesized. "And what about the next time and the time after that? You'll keep going if he keeps calling. And where does that leave me?"

She let out huff of air. "Why are you being this way?" she demanded. "Hansen is not a big deal and he's nothing you need to worry about. You. Need. To trust. Me"

"How can I?" he asked darkly.

That stopped her dead. "Excuse me?"

He stared her straight in the eye as he said what he said next. "This whole time you can't seem to make up your mind. Do you want me or not? You keep pulling me close, then pushing me away. If you want me, you have a really shitty way of showing it."

"I'm leaving now," she said, as if he hadn't even spoken. "We'll talk when I get back." She started for the door.

He got in her way. "We'll talk now."

"So I can listen to you bitch about Hansen some more? When I get back you'll be more calmed down."

"You're not going to him."

She glared at him. "What exactly do you plan on doing to keep me here?"

"Whatever I have to."

She chuckled once, a low, challenging sound in Rhage's ears. She stepped around him. "I'll be back."

He tracked every step she took as she made her way out of the room. "You're just proving my point," he said.

"And what is that?" she asked as they walked down the stairs.

"I can't trust you, can I?"

When they were in the foyer, she spun on him. "How can _you_ say that to _me_?" She looked so angry now, like she was ready to slap him, like he was really cutting her deep. But he was pissed and enraged and out of control and deranged from the jealousy. He wanted her feel as badly as he was feeling now.

They stalked through the corridor on the way to the garage. "You started this, Shailene. You're the reason I feel this way. And you want nothing to do with me. "

"That's not true and you know it."

"You know what I think," he asked as they got to the garage. "I think you're really not sure of what you want. I think you're afraid to let yourself feel something real for once. I think you want away from me and Hansen is the perfect way to do it."

"I can't get away from you," she pointed out to him.

He smiled, but it was more of a tight, cruel curving of his lips. "That's not denying it."

"You're way off base," she said in a low voice. "And do us both a favour: don't try to guess what I'm thinking. You'll get it wrong every time. I want to be with you," she said, her voice getting loud. "This is something I have to do."

"I can't trust that to be true. I can't trust that you'll come back."

"I honestly can't believe that you're the one who doesn't trust me. You're the one who goes out night after night, to ZeroSum or One Eye and fucks anything in a micro-skirt."

"You know it's not like that," he said.

"You say it's your beast, but how do I know that? You were like this before the beast, sleeping with anyone just because you could. Hell, the first night we were out together at ZeroSum you were about to screw some bimbo without a thought of me in your mind, or don't you remember? So what, all of a sudden you care?" she asked harshly. "You're the one with the problem and I have no reason to trust _you_ when I can't be sure that you're not out 'taking care of your beast' with your sluts."

"At least with the females I fuck I know they want me back. You on the other hand, I never know where we stand. You only like having me around so you can string me along, so you know you have someone there waiting for you. You're worse than the whores, because at least they don't play some sick kind of game with my fucking head," he snarled.

The stinging in his face was instant and surprising. It came on so fast that he hadn't even seen where the source of it had come from. The only things he felt were the snarling pain in his jaw and cheek on the right side of his face and the crack in his neck as it snapped to the side.

She'd slapped him.

And that slap brought him back to reality. He looked at her face and saw all the pain he inflicted on her, all the horrible words he'd spoken shown plain on her face by the tears in her eyes.

"I can't believe you just said that," she breathed, stunned.

He started towards her. "Shai—"

She backed away from him. "Don't touch me."

"Shai, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it—"

"No, I think you did," she said quietly. "You really are an asshole."

"Shai—"

"If those human whores are so much better than me, then go find yourself one and forget about me, us, this. Forget it all. It's done."

She started for her car.

"Shai, please don't go to him," he begged.

"I have to."

"Why?" he barked.

"Hansen needs me!" she screamed.

"I need you!" he shouted back at her.

Her eyes were cold enough to re-freeze the ice caps in Antarctica and as hard as the diamonds they resembled. "Well stop needing me. Don't need me."

She turned away from him, unlocked her Mercedes and got into it.

"Have fun with your bitches tonight, Rhage. I'm leaving."

She pulled out of the garage, leaving him there in his fury.

He materialized back up to his bedroom, stalking around the space like he was a caged animal desperately looking for a way out and about to blow the fuck up if he didn't find a way soon.

She'd gone. She'd left him for Hansen and she was done with him now.

He wanted to burn the house down, he was so angry. He was furious at Shailene, at himself, at Hansen. But if she was done with him, then he was done with her.

If she wanted him to find another female, then that was what he'd do.

_Fuck it_, he thought. He was finished being strung along.

* * *

"Master, the Promise Shailene is here to see you. Are you receiving?" Onella asked Hansen.

Hansen smiled at his doggen as a wave of pleasure came down on him. "Yes. Tell her to come up," he instructed. Onella bowed low and left his chambers.

Finally Shailene was here. He was feeling very weak. He hadn't fed in months as it were and desperately needed to. But he was also just happy to see her.

She smiled at him as she walked into the room and over to him.

"Hello, Shailene. How fair you on this night?" he asked as he went to meet her half way.

"I'm good, Hansen," she said as they embraced, but there was something off in her voice and her body felt different as well. She didn't sound genuinely happy as she greeted him and her body was tighter, more wound up.

She was still upset.

"Shailene," he said, pulling away from her. "Are you alright, M'lady?"

She nodded. "I fine." But when he tried to look her in the face, she avoided his gaze. "Are you ready?"

"As always." He led her over to the bed. "How are things? How's the new _ahstrux nohtrum_?"

She laughed a little, a shaky, nervous little laugh. "Well my new guard is Rhage as you know. And Rhage is… Rhage."

He laughed a little too. "I guess that sums it up." He reached to brush the hair off her shoulder so he could see her neck, but she flinched when he came close to her. He also noticed that her hands were shaking. She seemed ready to fall to pieces at the slightest bit of pressure, which went against every ounce of Shailene's natural being. She was strong enough to bare a hurricane. Now she seemed like a mere gust of wind would ruin her.

"Shailene, what ails you so?" he asked, this time starting to get alarmed.

"It's nothing you need to worry about."

The hell it wasn't. If she was so shaken up, then something catastrophic must have happened.

"Shailene, I want to help," he said gently.

Her voice on the other hand wasn't so sweet. "You can't. This is one thing you can't help me with. So let's just drop it."

He nodded, only agreeing to calm her, but he had no intention of dropping it. He was going to push her on this later. After he'd fed.

He brushed his fingers down her neck, like he always did before he drank from her because he liked the way her skin felt, so perfectly soft and smooth and flawless, under his fingers before he punctured it with his fangs.

But then he felt something he was unfamiliar with feeling _before_ he'd drunk from her. There were two little puckered spots on her, like scars that were in the midst of healing. The two wounds were exactly adjacent from each other, clearly they'd been made at the same time. They felt like… but they couldn't be.

Shailene flinched again as his fingers swept over them once more. And when they landed on the wounds and stayed there, she tensed.

His eyes widened at the fact that she had another males bite marks on her throat. "Shailene!"

"It's nothing," she told him, but her voice wasn't so assuring.

"Nothing? You've been bitten!"

"Look, Rhage got into trouble last night and I was helping him out."

He measured her tone, figured she was telling the truth. Still pissed him off.

Another male feeding on his female…

"Are you okay to do this?" he asked carefully.

"I am okay to do this," she confirmed.

He was unsure, but she brushed her away from her neck, to the side that didn't have the bite mark on it, and looked him steady in the eye. So he leaned into her, closing his mouth on the vein there. His hands went to her shoulders and he held her there, pulling her closer to him. Her breath quickened in anticipation of his fangs, but he didn't keep her waiting long. He bit her quick and swift.

Hansen had been feeding from her for centuries and he knew her taste like nothing else, but still it surprised him. He never got used the fire of her blood, the sweetness of it, the way it fueled him and strengthened him. He could literally feel the affect it had on his muscles, how much stronger he was getting. He could feel how weak he'd been before she came to him, something he hadn't noticed before.

He wished that she would let him do this more often and not just for nutrition's sake. He wished that when he drank from her, and she drank from him, that her body was as riddled with passion and desire as his was. He wanted to truly be with her while they did this and he wished that she loved him the way he loved her.

But she didn't, so the best he could do was drag her body against his and hold on tight.

He drank from her for a little while, then separated himself from her. She was less submissive than was normal. She wasn't alright.

"Shailene, please tell me how to help you," he pleaded.

"I told you I'm okay," she said unconvincingly.

"Do you really think you can lie to me? After all this time?" he asked incredulously.

She sighed. "I don't know how to explain," she groaned, getting up to pace. "It's not a big deal, and it's not really important. I just… I've never felt this way. I've never had a situation where I don't know how to deal with it."

"What is it?" he asked again. "I can help you."

"No you can't. There's something I want. But every time I get close to it, something goes wrong." She looked at him and Hansen was surprised to see tears in her eyes. "And no one can get it for me but me."

Hansen walked towards her. "Come here," he said as he embraced her. She shuttered, then leaned her head on his shoulder.

"I just don't know what to do," she said, her voice muffled by his shoulder. "And it's even worse because I've never _not_ known what to do."

"Please don't cry," he begged. He couldn't stand to see her do distressed. "If there's something you want, then you shouldn't let anything or anyone hold you back from it."

"It's a little more complicated than that," she said. "I keep screwing up."

"You just have to take control of the situation," he told her. "This is what you want. So you take control of the it."

She nodded, but he didn't think she was convinced.

He pulled away do that he could look at her face. "There is nothing you can't do."

She looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry for showing up like this," she said self-consciously. She was really off tonight; she was never anything less than totally self-assured.

"Don't worry about that," he brushed it off. "You know you can come to me no matter what."

She smiled at him and surprisingly the expression reached her tear-washed eyes. "I'm so lucky to have you, Hansen," he murmured into his chest. "I love you," she whispered.

He shut his eyes, wishing that she really meant that.

"You know I love, too," he breathed into her hair.

And he wished that she would know _exactly_ how much _he_ meant _that_.

* * *

At the same time, Rhage was in a bad state of mind and not really fit to be prowling town without supervision. But he was on a mission, and for this he couldn't bring anyone.

His purpose was simple: forget about Shailene.

Easier said than done.

She was done with him, therefore he was done with her. His emotions were out of control and he was fuming, so angry that his vision was tinged red.

She'd left him. For Hansen. There were no questions to be asked, they were through. And it didn't matter that he was still in love with her because he was about to get over that right now.

He walked through the bodies to the main floor of One Eye. He didn't go to ZeroSum because he was afraid that if he went there, he would be overwhelmed with memories of the last time he was there and all the efforts of tonight wouldn't make a rat's ass of a difference and he would only end up feeling worse.

He scoped out the room, looking through the females that were already looking at him. He was hoping that by finding a female and screwing her, the memory of Shai and how much he wanted her—_still_—would go away.

He found one on the dance floor, ignoring the male she was dancing with in favor of looking at Rhage. She was blond, fair skin, blue eyes, thin lips, Heavy make-up, and she wasn't too tall.

She was nothing like Shailene. Perfect.

He crooked a finger at her, gesturing that she come to him. She took the hint immediately, not hesitating for one moment. Even her attitude was different from Shai's

"You look lonely, big man," she said when she was right in front of him. "You looking for some company?"

"I might be," he replied. "Why don't you tell me your name."

"Does it really matter to you?" she asked slyly. "Because I know there's only one thing of yours that I care about, and it's not your name."

He laughed. A human who knew the deal. Not something you came across often.

"Come on then," he said.

Miss No Name took his hand and led him through the crowd and to the back of the club, back to where the private bathrooms were. When they had a stall all to themselves, they got down to business.

Man, he really needed this, he realized. The beast was crazy aggravated, pissed off just like he was. He hadn't had sex in days and all the aggression that Shailene had been able to tie down for him was coming out know with this human.

But she was good that way. The harder he pushed, the harder she pushed back until they were both dueling for dominance. He pulled, she grabbed, he pushed, she shoved.

Rhage was crazy into it, thankful to finally feel wanted. But then things started to go wrong. Because try as hard as he might, he thought her hair.

Her hair. Her hair wasn't as long or full, it didn't tangle around his hand like it would if he had been holding Shailene this way.

Her lips. They were thin and too glossy. They felt slippery and sloppy against his. They held none of the same fineness of Shailene's, they didn't move right against his lips either. They felt completely off. And her mouth tasted nothing like what he'd become accustomed to and what he loved.

Her scent. The perfume she was wearing was the smell of chemicals and false scents, not the natural sweetness of raspberries. He'd become so accustomed to that scent and he hadn't even realized how much he depended on having it close. He hadn't realized that he would never appreciate a scent as much as he appreciated Shailene's. As it was, this female's perfume was turning his stomach.

And most of all, her eyes. He remembered the look in No Name's icy eyes when she'd approached them. They had been hungry, greedy and sex-starved as she looked at him. Like he was nothing more than a toy for use and dispose without giving a damn. Like he was nothing more to her than she was to him. They were not the soft green, diamond shining eyes that looked at him with respect and affection and honesty. There was no visible vulnerability in the blue eyes, nothing that made Rhage want to protect her or get to know her, or spill his guts to her. They were not Shai's eyes.

Maybe Rhage had made the stupid mistake of getting used to someone looking at him like he was a person.

It was that night at ZeroSum all over again. He couldn't concentrate on any other female because his mind was with another. He couldn't feel another female because his heart was lost to someone else. And he couldn't see any other female because he was blinded by the one he truly loved.

He loved Shailene. There was no denying the fact and there was no getting around it either, he feared. She was his female, and no one else's, just as he was her male and protector for as long they both were breathing. He was forever hers.

And no amount of other females would ever change that.

The erection that had popped up was deflated by now. He couldn't even get hard for anyone else. Fan-frickin'-tastic.

He broke away from Miss No Name, unable to go through with this.

He didn't bother with explaining himself to her. He just erased her memory, fixed his clothes and left the bathroom.

Rhage made his way out of One Eye, knowing that staying any longer was pointless.

He needed to get back to Shailene and get her to forgive him. He realized now how he had pushed her away, right into Hansen's strong, privileged arms, and he wanted to make things right with her. He hoped that the damage he'd done wasn't irreversible, though if he were Shai, he would leave him for the sun to deal with and Rhage wouldn't be surprised if she truly didn't want to ever look at him again. It would probably be mission impossible at this point to get her to forgive him.

But he had to try something. He loved her. He would make her see that he meant that.

Even if he couldn't make her feel the same way.

* * *

That arrogant asshole! How could he!

Men.

Hey everyone! I added a little extra lemon in this one for you reading pleasures. I hope you enjoy. Hope it makes up for me ruining that beautiful moment. Probably not. I know I'm still upset about it. Comment if you liked it. Comment if you didn't. Comment if you went to China last week! Comment for whatever reason you have, just COMMENT!

Thanks! [heart] you all!


	11. Chapter 11: Fighting

**A/N: **This chapter took a long while to upload and I'm sorry for that. But trust me it was worth the wait.

Anyway, for this chapter the song playing in my head during the whole writing process was, I think, absolutely perfect for Rhage's and Shailene's predicament. It's is called "Don't Say" by St. Lola in the Fields. It is also **not mine** but I thought I'd share it with you anyway so you get a feel of what is inside my head. I imagine this song as a conversation between Rhage and Shailene. The bolded are the parts that apply to Shailene and the regular are the parts that are for Rhage. Listen to this song when you're reading this chapter. You all know what YouTube is. Give it a try.

Don't Say

Don't fight, don't fight, don't fight, don't fight,  
Don't do it again  
Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream  
Don't want to hear it again  
Don't say, don't say, don't say,  
Don't say you're leaving this time  
Don't you, don't you, don't you know  
You're all I have in this life  
So drop the sword and hear me out  
Down on the floor, just hold me now

**Don't take, don't take, don't take,****  
****Don't take it so lightly****  
****When you say, you say****  
****When you say you love me**

I miss, I miss, I miss,  
I miss the way we would laugh  
I wish, I wish, I wish  
I wish that we could go back  
I think, I think,  
I think that we could fix it all up  
Don't you, don't you  
Don't you think it'd be worth it for love?  
**If I thought you'd do me no harm****  
****I'd fall, I'd fall into your arms****Don't take, don't take****  
**

**Don't take it so lightly****  
****When you say, you say****  
****You say you love me**

Pretty, huh? Any way without further ado, I give you Lover Desired.

**Disclaimer****: I Love Shailene. She is a great character to write and so are all the other characters. But in case you haven't noticed, the other characters are not mine. Only Shailene is. I love the others so much, but they belong to the Goddess that is WARDen. **

Chapter 11: Fighting

Shailene was happy that she'd gone to Hansen even though it had torn a huge hole in hers and Rhage's relationship. But he had given her good advice and comfort the way a good friend should and once again she was struck with how thankful she was to have him. She wished that Wellsie was free to talk to. The two females were best friends but Wellsie had a baby on the way and now she and Tohr had John to look after, and Shai didn't want to go stressing the poor female out more than was necessary. Plus if Shailene needed guidance—it was weird a thing that she was the one who needed help with something when she was the one to usually be helping everyone else – she could always go to Beth. Or Vishous.

But it was clear to Shailene now. She knew what she had to do.

This fight with Rhage was going to end, like, A-sap. She would apologize to him and tell him how she _really _felt about him. That would bring him around and then it would be like the fight never happened.

But she was still nervous. She had never spoken these words before, in this context, and wasn't sure exactly how to start it. Did she just jump in with the L-bomb, or did she give it a nice entry with soft words? Would Rhage like that? And then how to say it? "Rhage, I'm madly in love with you," sounded too strong even though that was what she wanted to say, but "Rhage, I like you more than like _like_," made her sound like a thirteen year old.

She laughed at herself. Rhage wouldn't care exactly how it came out as long as it did. He thought she didn't love him, well he couldn't be more wrong on that front. She was head over heels and it was high time she showed him that.

He was right, though. She had been stringing him along but not for the reasons he thought. She was just scared. She wanted him but didn't know what to do about it. And every time he got close she found some way to push him away.

That was all about to change.

So now she waited in Rhage's room, anticipating his home coming and their reunion so that they could get past this shit and move forward.

She had been sitting on his bed when she felt his presence somewhere in the mansion. Her heart started to race, the nervousness settling in again. She swore it was beating so loud and so fast that the sound filled the whole room. But there was also a little excitement working its way into her system. She couldn't wait to get this out of the way and move on with Rhage.

That is, she was excited until she got the general tone of his emotions. He was a live wire, totally on edge. He was even more scattered than she was, like a puzzle missing half its pieces. He was anxious, guilty, and determined.

She couldn't stop what happened next. There were times when her mind couldn't shut out the intruding thoughts of others. There were times when thoughts were too loud and frantic that they slipped through the careful walls she placed in her head to give those she cared about some privacy and to protect herself from going mentally insane.

This was one of those times.

Rhage was thinking about her. He was desperate to see her, to talk to her, to apologize and explain for everything that had happened. But the ramblings in his mind as he practiced and practiced, arranged and rearranged what he was going to say to her weren't at the for front of his mind and therefore not what really stood out to her. It was the guilt…. The guilt was what held her attention.

Even though Rhage tried not to think about it, the scene rolled out in both their heads. She saw Rhage walk into one of those raunchy clubs and an average-height blond female with too much makeup walked up to him. She took his hand immediately and as she led him to the back of the club, he went along without hesitation or protest. They were in the bathroom stall now, lips and hands all over each other.

She shut the thoughts out of her head, slamming the walls back into place, not able to watch or hear any more, and crumbled to the floor as her eyes started to water and her stomach started to cramp. She was so furious, so hurt that she was literally feeling physical pain. She wanted to bang around the room, smashing things and creating destruction out of everything she touched. She wanted to see Rhage if only for the reason of beating the shit out of him. She wanted him covered in the red stuff by the time she was done with him.

He had been with another female tonight. He had fucked someone else tonight and he was coming back to her after that.

She stood up. Wiped her eyes and started for the door. As much as she wanted to beat Rhage senseless and make him hurt as much she was hurting, even though the thought of lashing out at him

was pretty damn appealing at this point, she wasn't an animal. But she _was_ through.

She didn't even want to look at him. So it was a problem that the first thing she saw when she opened the door to leave was him, his huge body filling the door's thresh hold.

All of a sudden she was overwhelmed. He was just so…huge. There was so much of him. Too much of him. And she hated that she loved him no matter what he'd done tonight. She hated that the golden tan skin and the blond hair and those provocative lips and, of course, all that muscle still managed to make her heart sprint in her chest. Those teal, ocean blue eyes made her dizzy. She hated that red tear drop. She hated him.

So why did she have to love him at the same time?

She backed away as he held out his arms, as if to take her into them. The door shut behind him.

She looked at him like he was a stranger, because in truth, with the knowledge of what had gone down tonight, she had no idea who the person she was looking at was.

Oh wait, that was a lie. This was exactly who she thought he was to begin with. She'd just gotten used to the person he pretended he to be.

She glared. "I can smell her on you."

He looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Do you think I'm stupid Rhage? That I wouldn't figure out about that human slut tonight?" she demanded, no small amount of venom in her voice.

Understanding and dread washed over his features. "Shai—"

"So I go to help a friend in need and you go have sex with some nasty bimbo? Is that the way it works?"

"Shailene, please—"

"Because I thought you were supposed to love me," she said, this time a sob rising in her voice but she fought hard to keep it down. "Jokes on me right? I'm glad you set me straight."

He came towards her again, this time making contact with her and trying to pull her to him, but she fought him, pulling away from him a little frantically. "_Don't_ touch me!" she spat at him. "Don't you _ever_ touch me again!"

"I am sorry," he said hopelessly, dropping his arms. "I do love you—"

"Don't say that to me, either. We both know it's bullshit," she snarled.

"It's not bullshit, Shai, you have to believe that. I love you and I am so damn sorry. I want you more than you can imagine. I was angry—"

"Angry?" Her eyes flared. "You were angry. I know that, I remember that, I understand that. But I told you, Rhage, that I was coming back to you and you still went out to that pathetic club and fucked another female while I was out helping a friend. A friend, Rhage, who needed me!"

"If you would please let me explain," he said, moving towards her again. He looked so hopeless and regretful… But not enough to dim Shai's fury.

"Explain what? How I wasn't here so you took the first opportunity to find someone else?"

"No."

"Or is it the fact that you proved my suspicions right?"

"No," he repeated, this time sounding frustrated.

"Then what Rhage?" she yelled. "What more is there?"

"Shai—"

"Tell me, Rhage was she good? Better than you imagined me to be?" she asked darkly. "Did she treat you right?"

He growled and the aggressive sound powered her anger. "I don't need to ask if she enjoyed herself. I already know how talented you are."

"I didn't fuck her!" he yelled, and it stopped Shailene dead. "I didn't fuck her," he said, quieter now. "I went to One Eye to forget about you, but I couldn't do it. I can't be with anyone but you."

"And that's supposed to make it better?" she whispered. "You didn't have sex with her but you started to. You tried to forget about me. " The pain was crippling. It sent her head into a confused frenzy of emotions that were impossible to sort through so she could figure out what she was feeling most. Was it hatred towards Rhage? Or was it hatred towards herself for driving him to that? "You didn't fuck her, but you were fucking with my head this whole time."

She looked into his self-loathing eyes, realizing that he was probably in as much pain as she was, but still unable to forgive him. Her heart felt closed off from the world, like it had retreated from everything that could ever touch it, bad _or_ good. It was a horrible feeling to be so pent up with hatred for someone you loved more than your own life.

Never in her life had she felt this way. Never in her _entire_ life had she come across a vampire who's sins she thought couldn't be forgiven. She was sure Rhage's could be, just not by her.

A choked sob broke out of the barrier of her mouth and she put a hand up to her lips, as if it would keep the cries in, and turned her head away from him.

Rhage rushed toward her, desperate, it seemed, to offer her some sort of comfort, but she turned and walked away from him, gesturing with her hands that he stay away from her. She was torn at this point between screaming bloody murder at him and running into his arms so that some of this pain would ebb.

She knew that if she could just forgive him, the hurt would go away. But she couldn't, not now. There was no comfort to be had, no morphine to make her sleep the pain away. At least not in this moment.

She sat on the bed, where only mere hours ago they had laid together, both on the same page, both ready to start a future together. Thinking about it now, she realized just how stupid she was for wanting something for herself. That was not what she was here for.

"Were you even going to tell me?" she asked in a raw voice. "Were you just going to come here and apologize for what happened here earlier and let me think everything was perfect again?"

He was silent for a moment. "I don't know," he finally said. "All I was thinking was I had to have you. I felt horrible for what I did, but I wanted to have you for myself. I just had to find a way for you to see me as what I am, and that's truly in love with you."

Now she was silent as she ordered what she was going to say next.

Still looking away from him she said, "The sad part is," she said slowly. "You already had me." She looked at him now. "I woke up tonight ready to tell you that I was done fighting. That I was ready for you. You had me." She looked away again. "I told you I was coming back to you. Why didn't you believe me?"

There was no answer, but she didn't expect one. Instead of responding to her, Rhage's head dropped in shame.

"And to think, I was—" _about to tell you I loved you_, she finished in her head, because she wasn't able to say it out loud to him, not anymore. She shook her head. "Forget it. None of it matters anymore. It's over now."

His head snapped up. "What do you mean?"

"You know, you were right," she said softly, ignoring his question. "I did start this. I made the first move when I kissed you at ZeroSum so I suppose this is my fault."

"This isn't your fault—"

She held up a hand to stop him. "But you know what? Now I'm ending it. We're done." She got up and moved for the exit.

"Shailene, please don't…"

"Don't what?" she snapped. "You decided that we were over when you left the mansion, looking to smother your feelings for me behind another female. I'm just putting it into words for you." She looked at him one last time as she turned the door knob and opened the door. "We're through." And with that she crossed the wide hall to her room, and quickly went to her bed.

She sat there, not able to shed another tear or cry another sob. She loved him, and he had gone and done this thing. It pretty much left her optionless.

She felt a weird numbness wash over her. It was refreshing, soothing, a beautiful relief from the searing that was cutting her open from the inside out. She welcomed it with open arms. If pain was the only thing she was capable of feeling at the moment, then she'd rather feel nothing. She realized that this went against everything she taught her race and she didn't care.

She sat on her bed, completely unmoving, completely without feeling.

* * *

_This shit is really grinding me_, Vishous thought to himself.

It had been a week since things between Rhage and Shailene had blown up and gone straight to hell. And seeing as he was close to both of them, he was the one who had to deal with the bullshit.

Everyone who lived at the compound, including the _doggen_, could see that things between the two of them were extremely strenuous. They all thought that it was their personalities clashing – the Virgin knows it's happened before – even though with the after math of neither of them talking to the other, it was clearly their biggest explosion yet.

Of course V knew the real reason behind it. Shailene knew that Rhage had gone out to find someone else the night she'd gone to feed Hansen. And she was pissed about it. Beyond pissed. In fact "pissed" was probably the understatement of the year. If Shailene had her way, Rhage would probably be castrated by now.

So yeah, it was safe to say that she wasn't feeling friendly toward her warrior.

Vishous wanted to boot Rhage in the ass. How he could be such an idiotic swine was beyond Vishous, which meant it was pretty damn hard to understand. Rhage had acted like a total ass when Shailene had told him she was going to help Hansen. Instead of listening to Shai, he'd gone out to find someone else, and thrown everything straight to the shitter. It was horrible because V knew that Rhage truly did love the Promise, he'd just been full of jealous fury when he'd gone out. But that was a bonded male for you: a huge pain in the ass. Always so hung up on the emotions caused by their females that they never think straight.

And it was probably over now between them and Rhage was left bonded and without his mate.

And that was why Vishous was tempted to wrap his hands around the big blond idiot's throat and choke the ever-living hell out of him. It wasn't just the fact that he'd hurt Shai, even though that was a contributing factor to Vishous' rage at Rhage. It was more that he had ruined the one good thing in his life. Rhage had a lot of game and played a lot of females. He was a sex legend through the race that fathers told their sons about when the time came. The Brothers often sang his praises about some of the more unbelievable stunts he pulled, stunts with the females that only Rhage could accomplish. But all that BS and blustering wasn't the true him. Maybe it had been once-a-pon- a-time, but it wasn't anymore. He wanted one good female, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, till death do they part and what not. He'd finally found the perfect female for him, the perfect female _period_, and he'd managed to screw it up. For that, he deserved a good beat down.

At least he wasn't enough of an ass wipe to not know to fight for her. He was trying, that much was clear. She just wasn't responding. Whenever they were in the same room, or out hunting, the tension was suffocating because they were both civil, but they didn't acknowledge each other. She barely even looked at him, and he couldn't take his eyes off her. Rhage had come to Vishous, telling him how he was trying with her but she shut him down flat every time. The only thing that was getting better between them was that she wasn't yelling at him anymore, which had been all she'd done for the first few days.

Sure she was calmer now, but she wasn't any closer to forgiving him and Rhage was starting to lose hope.

But what concerned Vishous most was Shailene. She was angry beyond belief and hurt to the core, but she was still in love with him, too. She hadn't said the official words, but it was clear that that was how she felt, or else she wouldn't have reacted the way she had to Rhage's little experiment. Shailene was a special female; Vishous knew that from first hand observations. She was what the race was about, and she forgave a lot of things, but Vishous wondered if she could ever get past this. She was a complex individual and her positive personality traits were endless, but some of them could be bad, too, like the fact that she was proud. Maybe her pride would be what got in the way of her and happiness.

He was worried about her. She was depressed, closed off, on edge and she refused to open up about her feelings to anyone. Even Wrath couldn't get through to her. She was fighting everyone.

The problem was that she was just as hard headed as any of the "meat head" males that she lived with, though she wasn't as stupid. She was used to being the one people came to for help. She was the one who solved the problems. She always offered support and advice. She was hardly ever the one to receive any of that. And that was the way of her life and it was clear that it didn't bother her. It just made it impossible for to be vulnerable with those who cared for her. And now that she had given someone a chance to take care of her for once, it had blown up in her face.

Man, this was a shit storm of epic proportion.

They needed to fix things, for his sake if nothing else. He couldn't take any more of the negative energy that was radiating from pretty much everyone in the house. Even Boo seemed off. When Shailene was upset, everyone was upset, and it was killing Vishous' head.

So his destination tonight was to find and talk to Shailene and seeing if he could cheer her up.

It made him cringe to realize what a Molly Maid he was becoming. But he had to get her to stop fighting.

She was in the library. He knew this because it was her go-to place when she needed to think.

He stepped into the grand room, and wasn't disappointed. She was lying on the small couch in front of the fire with the lights turned low so that only the glow of the dancing flames was the only thing to give illumination. There was soft piano music playing at a background level.

"Hey, V" she said in a flat tone before he even approached her. When he actually was next to her on the couch, her legs in his lap, she asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I thought you might want some company," he answered simply.

"Why would you think that?" she asked, eyes on the fire.

"Because you sitting here on your own in the dark with nothing but depressing music playing for you is too cliché for me to deal with," he told her. "Plus, I'm pretty sure wallowing in misery isn't healthy."

"So you're a doctor as well as a pain in the ass."

"Not a doctor. A trained medic," he classified.

She sighed. "I'm not wallowing."

"Yes, you are."

"Am not."

"Are so. In fact, you've probably set a new record by now. Someone should call the Guinness book."

She actually cracked a small smile.

"Wow," V said appreciatively. "I wasn't sure when I'd ever see one of those from you again."

And just like that it disappeared, not that Vishous expected anything else.

"You need to talk to someone," Vishous said.

"About what?"

Vishous sighed. "Please don't give me the run around," he groaned. "You wouldn't have freaked the fuck out about Rhage if you didn't feel the same way he did."

"I do feel the same way he does," she admitted. At least, V thought she was admitting until she said, "I know there's nothing between us."

"That's the biggest bullshit I've ever smelt," he accused heatedly.

"No, it's not. It's true," she said, still calm, still dead. "If Rhage really loved me, he wouldn't have done what he'd done."

"How did you expect him to react when you told him you were going to feed another male?" he demanded.

"It was Hansen and it was for one last night."

"Still, as a bonded male, did you expect him to give you his blessing?" he asked incredulously. "You've had enough experience with bonded males and their females to know better."

"So this is my fault?" she demanded, her tone rising.

Vishous exhaled in relief. It was good to know that the old, fiery, spirited Shailene was still in there somewhere.

"Of course it's not your fault," V said.

"I expected Rhage to trust me," she snapped. "And he didn't. So now look where we are."

"You can fix it," V pointed out.

"By forgiving him?" she exclaimed. "He went out to find another female so he could erase the memory of me," she almost-yelled. "Matings aren't perfect, Vishous. _Shellans _and _hellrens_ fight and disagree and say things they don't mean. But they _don't_ go out to find somebody else. That is not what happens."

"He made a mistake," V said softly.

"A mistake that ruined everything."

"Will you at least talk to him?"

"Why?"

Vishous waited for her to look at him before he continued. "Because you love him." She looked away from him. "And he loves you."

They were silent for a while and Vishous lost his temper a little. "Can you stop fighting? For once in your life, will you just let go a little."

"I'm sorry V, but I wasn't made that way. And why do you care?" Shai asked, a little accusingly, "Why does it matter to you?"

"_You_ matter to me," he told her. "And so does Rhage. Shai, you've always been there for me, even when I didn't want you there. You saved my life and you brought me here. I swore to myself that I would always be there for you and that's what I'm doing for you now."

"More like annoying the crap out of me," she muttered.

He smiled. "You say potato, I say patawto." They were silent for a moment. "Are you saying that there's no hope for you two?"

"I'm saying that Rhage got exactly what he wanted: to be done with me. If he didn't mean it, then I guess the phrase 'be careful what you wish for,' is more than psycho-babble bullshit for him." She shook her head a bit, as if trying to clear it, and stood up. "I'm done talking about this."

"Shai—"

"It's time we start getting ready to go out. I'll be ready in about a half hour." It was only when she was at the door to leave the library that she turned and looked back at V and said, "Make sure you tell Rhage."

Was there a double meaning in that, or was V hearing things?

As V sat alone in the big, luxurious library, the main thought running in his head was, _well that went well._

He made his way to Rhage's room, dreading telling him that they had made absolutely no progress in the whole make-Shai-forgive-Rhage bid. What a fruitless conversation that had been.

Never, in all of V's adult life had he not been able to change someone's mind, one way or another. But Shailene had always been a tough spot for him in every area of his life. She was the difficult one.

He walked right into Rhage's private area, without knocking, to find him stalking the length of the bedroom. Man, the male was a big sound away from blowing a fuse.

"What did she say?" Rhage demanded when he noticed V.

He sighed. "She said to be ready to go hunt in half an hour."

He stopped moving. "That's all?"

"I'm sorry, Rhage. It's a no go for now."

"You didn't get _anything _out of her?"

"Nothing but the same. She's fighting everything that she feels."

"So I should just give up, I should let her go?"

"For now, it seems like there's no way."

When Rhage looked up at V, there was a determination and a fire in his eyes that V had never seen before. "There is always a way," he growled.

* * *

Rhage stalked through the underground tunnels, on his way to the gym to relieve some of the frustrated energy he was suffering through. The word "antsy" was his middle name now.

It had been two days since V had spoken to Shai for him, and no progress had been made in her forgiveness towards him. She was still just as pissed as she'd been in the beginning.

Rhage didn't blame her for being mad. He was just suffering without her.

He made it to the gym and immediately heard the sound of two angry fists pounding over and over into a punching bag as if it was the reason for the world`s tragedies and beating the shit out of it was the only way to solve them.

Rhage knew how that felt. He was about to blame all his screw ups on a treadmill right now.

But he considered leaving. He was looking to be alone, and not in the mood for one of his brothers to try to have a heart-to-heart with him.

But he really was restless. The beast was creating a storm in his body. Without Shai around to keep it in check with that natural calming talent of hers, he felt as if the beast was ready to bust out of his body at any moment, the many fights he'd gotten into notwithstanding. It was if the monster was punishing him for pushing away the only thing that brought either of them any peace.

So he walked into the gym. And stopped dead where he was.

The angry fists were Shai's.

It was completely inappropriate that seeing her like this, dressed in those tight black leggings and a sports bra, her hair braided back, barely cover the tattoo that spread from her neck to her shoulder and almost reaching the moon tattoo at the small of her back, got Rhage hard and his blood boiling. And even though he knew it was amazingly not-right to want her right now, he couldn't help it. She was a total knock and she made his heart ache, among other things. God damn, he wanted her.

She must really be angry at him. Her fists were pounding forward at a blinding speed, probably trying to relieve some of the fury in her, too. Funny, Rhage had never thought Shai to be the grudge holding type. She'd always seemed so forgiving and open.

His impression of her must be right. She just wasn't up to giving second chances to ass-aholic bastards who crushed her spirits.

"If that punching bag had a face, what would it look like?" he asked over the noise she was making.

She didn't even miss a beat as she answered. "Ah, it'd be a he, and he'd be extremely large, with blue eyes and blond hair and tan skin. And frustratingly beautiful," she said, grunting the last part.

He smiled a bit. "After all this, you're still attracted to me." That was encouraging.

"Yeah well—" she started, then cut herself off. The pounding stopped as she turned to face him. Her face wasn't friendly. It was a mix between annoyed and tired, as if they'd been through this a million times – which they had – and she was sick of it. "Is there a reason you're here?"

He walked around to the opposite side of the bag and held onto it for her. "Yes and it's the same reason as you: to relieve some of the angry tension in me." He gestured to the bag with his chin. "Hit it."

"I'd rather hit you," she said bluntly.

He smiled again. "Maybe we can get to that later." He nodded once to it again. "Hit it."

She stared at him for a moment, probably trying to figure out what his intentions were, before she started back in on the bag.

"How are you feeling these days?" he asked her.

"I get better a little every day. But over all—" her eyes met his—"I'm dreadful." She looked away as a new fissure cracked in his heart. "How are you?" she asked casually, still concentrating on the bag. She planted a solid kick on it, jerking Rhage back a bit.

"I'm…" He had to think about it for a sec. "I'm dreadful, too." She gave a little head jerk to the side, as if to say, "Oh well."

"But I guess I only have myself to blame for both of those facts," he said quietly.

"As long as you know that."

"I'd cut of my dagger hand to make it up to you," he told her earnestly.

She didn't respond.

He sighed. "Have I told you I'm sorry?"

"Only about a thousand times."

"And you're…"

"Not interested in your apologies," she said. "I already know that you're sorry. They don't change anything."

He didn't say anything until she looked up at him, and when she did, he stared her deep in the eyes, infusing as much meaning into his voice as possible. "I wish they did."

She seemed transfixed for a moment, but the spell was broken when he reached to touch her face. Just the barest brush of his fingers against her flawless skin and she snapped out of it.

It was that little stroke of his fingers against her, the electricity that shot through his fingertips at the feel of her, that made him realize how much time had passed since he touched her last. Too long. It had been way to long since they'd come into contact with each other, and doing it now, though it had been the slightest of touches, made him realize how much he missed the electricity she generated into him and the soft, smooth, silken feel of her skin. It made him realize how much he ached to touch her again, what he wouldn't give to wrap his arms around her…

She walked away from him, stalking around the gym. "What do you think this is, Rhage?" she demanded.

He sighed. "Look, I'm sorry."

"No, you're not." She paced some more, her hands over her face as if trying to block out the sight of him.

"You're right, I'm not," he said strongly. "I'll never be sorry for wanting you."

"You never give up do you?" she asked in annoyed astonishment. "I'm not surprised that you don't get this, seeing as you're the only person I've never been able to get through to, but you and I are done," she shouted, annunciating each word of the last part. "I'm done with you. I don't want you in my life any more than necessary."

"You love to delude yourself," Rhage accused. "You really are resisting the truth if you think that there's nothing left between us." It was true. He'd felt the heat coming off her whenever he got to

close. He heard how her heart raced whenever he was around. He saw the reluctant, resentful desire and the conflict in her eyes whenever it was just the two of them. He smelt her arousal whenever one of their arguments got out of hand, like they always did. Like it was right now. "You still want me."

"So?"

"So, do you always have to be so strong?" he asked, moving a slight bit closer to her. "Do you always have to fight everything? You could let me be strong for you; you could let me take care of you. You could stop resisting and just let yourself _go_."

"I gave you a chance for all of that, remember, and you threw it all back in my face," she spat at him.

"You never gave me a chance," he countered, getting a little closer. He was just trying to get close enough without her noticing, but he really hoped that with what he was saying, he wasn't burning whatever ruins of the bridges he still had. "Every time i tried to get close, you did everything possible to get rid of me."

"Yeah, everything short of going out and hooking up with someone else," she shot back.

"With how you were treating me, how was i supposed to know you would care?"

"So i guess everything we did before that meant absolutely nothing to you," she reasoned. "Once again, my suspicions are proven right when it comes to you." She pegged him with an arctic glare. "Here's a tip: next time you try to win a female over, don't go screw someone else at the first real sign of trouble."

He got a little closer. "That was a mistake."

"No, it was a choice," she clarified.

"If you would only let me hold you," he whispered despairingly. "I would kill just to hold you."

"I don't _ever_ want to feel your arms around me again," she said, no hint of sympathy in her voice. She shook her head. "You know what? No. I'm not going there with you again, not now, I'm not in the mood." She started walking away.

He hurried after her, grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him. She fought him, of course.

"Let me go," she commanded threateningly.

"No, _you_ let go," he commanded back, fighting with her to keep her with him. He could feel the earlier heat growing hotter and hotter between them, his arousal pressing into her struggling figure and her natural fragrance growing stronger and more intoxicating, and it wasn't the only scent that permeated the room: the bonding scent was coming out of him as well.

"I don't want to!" she growled. "Not with you, not anymore."

"You're lying," he called on her. He pressed his mouth to her neck, right below her ear. She tried to jerk her head away from him along with the rest of her body, but he held her tight, hands wrapped around the tops of her arms. "Stop fighting what you feel," he whispered in her ear.

Then he crushed his lips to hers.

That sting came back to his face, the same terrible burning as the one when she'd slapped him for the first time.

Maybe he was a sick masochistic bastard, but her abuse only turned him on more. Maybe that was why he couldn't let go of her. He was addicted to the rejection.

He stumbled away from her in surprise and satisfaction: no matter what she said, he was still able to elicit the same wild passion and lust in her that always resulted in her losing her desperate grip on her self-control.

He looked into her eyes as his hand went to his cheek, then his mouth, wondering if she'd drawn blood and if she would leave a bruise.

She stared back, her eyes hard and relentless.

"You hit me," he stated.

"You deserved it."

"Do it again," he commanded.

"What?"

"Do it again," he repeated.

"No," she said vehemently.

"You said you wanted to," he reminded her. "And I told you we would get to it later. It's later." He stepped closer to her again, holding his arms wide. "Hit me again."

"I always suspected you were a glutton for punishment," she hissed. "Are you a masochist now?"

"I know you're hurt and angry," he said calmly. "And I want to take your pain away from you. But you won't let me help you. The only thing I can do is try to help you let out some of your anger. So use me," he suggested freely. "Take your pain out on me. Make me feel it."

She didn't move, so he grabbed for her waist, knowing it would ignite some of that fury in her again. He was right. She blocked his hand expertly and, as if a reflex, nailed him in the stomach.

He grunted in approval and came at her again.

"Stop!" she shouted at him, responding to every move he made for her.

"Make me," he challenged, grabbing her again. "If you want me to stop so bad, you'll have to force me."

She growled a little. His erection throbbed.

One more reach, and she let her fury loose on him. She fought him, sparing him none of her immense power. She fought with every skill and all the talent she'd honed over her many years, but she was also rash now, and just a tad bit careless. She was quick and hard and strong and lethal and furious: all adding up to make her lethal to anyone else. And even though it was with fury and hate that had her hands were on him, it was a relief to feel her again. An absolute relief.

He was on the defense the whole time, never once making on aggressive move towards her. He took everything she had to throw at him, accepting all the anger and pain he'd caused, welcoming the consequences of his action in a physical sense, as he had been doing only emotionally. In a way, this was a relief for him, too. He'd been suffering in his self-hatred and desperate to find some sort of tangible, physical punishment. He'd been praying that Shailene would take out her anger on him, really let it out so he could feel for real what he'd done.

"That's it," he grunted under her onslaught. "Let it go."

Plus, he couldn't deny that he was happy that she was so full of passionate emotion over him.

It seemed that there was no end to her rage and he was almost at the end of his rope; she was driving him crazy, all her aggression hitting him wherever it would and going straight to his cock. But he wasn't the only one turned on. He could smell it on her, the desire, the desperation. It was lovely. His cock was begging for him to hit her aggression back with his own, but instead of using his fist and feet like she was, he was to use it. He wanted to rip every article of fabric off her body and ravish her. He wanted to show her what was really in him, all the anger and frustration and pain and love. He wanted to show her, and release it all into her.

Every move she made against him was forcing him backwards, and when he felt himself approaching the wall behind him, he grabbed Shailene by the shoulders, spun her around and pinned her to the wall. He looked at her for half a second before he pinned her hands to the wall on either side of her head, fingers interlocked with hers, and attacked her mouth with his, ravishing her lips, thrusting his tongue into her until she had no choice but to open for him. Her response was immediate and not at all negative. She met his aggression head on, her tongue dueling with his, her lips just as rough against him. Her body arched so that they chest to chest and of course hip to hip. Their lower halves mashed into each other, her heated core very deliberately stoking his painful erection. He moaned into her mouth.

"Mine!" he growled, and moved so that his lips started a trail from her jaw to her neck, to chest to her—

His grip on her hands loosened ever so slightly when he got to her collar bone, and it was enough for her to break free and shove hard at his chest.

She pushed him hard enough so he was forced away from her, but he wasn't fooled for one second. She stared at him with hot, ruthless, lust-filled eyes for a moment, before she came at him, fisting his hair roughly with one hand and wrapping her arm around his neck, bringing his face down to hers so she could kiss him again. His hands were hard and desperate on her hips as he picked her up, her legs wrapping around his hips, and they sank to the floor.

He was all over her and she accepted every part of him without protest. But he knew that this couldn't be the moment for him. He wanted her with a fire that felt like it would consume him if he didn't consume her. He loved her more than he imagined was possible, so much so that he felt like his heart would fall out of his chest with the weight of it. But he wouldn't take her just to prove something to her, just to prove that she would indeed let him. He wanted her to truly believe in him when he first took her. He wanted her to love him like he loved her.

He pulled away from her, but stayed where he was positioned over her, their bodies pretty much glued together. He brushed one some of the stray strands from her face, gentle now, delicately touching the divine beauty that was she.

"You never give up, do you?" she asked again, this time in a murmur.

"I'll never give _you_ up," he told her. "I'll never stop loving you."

"Don't take it so lightly," she said quietly, "when you say you love me."

She started to get up, forcing him to roll off her, but she surprised him by just sitting next to his lying form, with her arms hugging her legs to her. There was a long, long, long stretch of no talking, which she broke.

"I don't want to do this anymore," she murmured. "I don't want to be angry anymore." She looked at him. "Can we stop this?" she asked, a desperate note in her voice.

"Stopping this, means I have to stop wanting you. And that's not possible for me," he told her.

"Then I'm sorry, Rhage," she said softly. "But we won't get back to what we had. I can't go there again. I can't be more than your Promise and I can't let you be more than my warrior. That's all we'll ever be from now on."

She got up and walked swiftly to the door, but before she could get out, Rhage called to stop her.

"Shai," he called. He made contact with devastatingly beautiful green eyes across the room. "There's nothing you can't do."

She left quickly after that, leaving Rhage to dwell on what had transpired between them.

Over the next few days, things changed between them for the better, but not exactly in the way Rhage wanted. She was a lot more civil towards him, actually acknowledging his presence, even giving him a pleasant smile when they crossed paths, but it was all completely impersonal.

It might not have been so bad if his sexual desires, as well as the emotional ones, would settle down, but the heat that spread over his skin and throughout his body only seemed to intensify every time he saw her, and not only did the feeling grow stronger, but it also burned him more and more. It seemed that the longer she stayed away from him, the more frequent his fantasies occurred and the more often he ended up having to take care of himself.

He was reaching a breaking point.

But it wasn't just about sex. He missed his female. He missed holding her and talking to her. An even though they had only done it twice before, he missed waking up next her in the evening. He missed the way she used to look at him with affection and trust and vulnerability. He missed her soft and gentle hands on his skin.

And he knew that there was no chance in him forgetting about her. She had, in typical Shailene fashion, busted her way into his life and completely taken over everything.

So here he was, sitting in his room after a long night of patrolling and thinking about the female he wished could be his. He really wanted to be near her, so, like the pathetic puppy dog that he resembled, calling on his mistress for attention, he went to find to her, knocking on her door…

…and getting no answer. After a few more tries, he just opened the bedroom door to find it empty. He remembered then that she had said that she would be going to her condo for the day. Even though he knew where she was going to be, he was irrationally disappointed at her not being here.

Jesus, she really was his _pyrocant_. When had loving her turned him into such a nancy?

He stalked around her room in frustration, knowing that he should leave, but unable to. Even though he was aggravated, it felt nice to be back in her personal space again. Her intoxicating raspberry scent flooded the space, covering every last surface of the room.

He studied the place, form the floor to ceiling, looking at the Bookshelf devoted completely to CDs and surveying the five different guitars in one corner as well as the sketchpads he could see. He went to sit on her bed, where her scent was the strongest, and recalled the times they had spent wrapped in sheets and in each other's arms. He lied down in the middle, imagining that she was there with him, thinking of what it felt like to have her tucked into his side and flush against his body. If she should come home to find him in her bed, what extremely minimal progress they had made would evaporate into thin air like water changing states, but he would be sure not to stay for too long.

He looked over to her nightstand, and saw that there was small note there, written in her beautiful hand.

"_To the over-protective, pig-headed warriors who will eventually come looking for me, do not panic. If I am not back by sunset, it's most likely because I went to see Hansen. Call if you get worried, but don't. I'm fine. I promise. Shailene," _the note read.

Hansen…

Rhage was seeing red. Hansen. After all that they'd been through she was still in contact with Hansen? She was going to see him _tonight_. What had happened to breaking it off with him?

The raw jealousy was coming over him again, only this time, worse. It seemed that every time he felt the emotion, it got more intense.

Rhage was off the bed and materializing before he could even think, not even caring about the fact that it was like twelve minutes to daylight. He had to get to Shailene. Now. She could not be allowed to go to Hansen. She was _Rhage's_ female and _nobody_ else's. He had to show her that he loved her, that he wanted her, that he literally needed her to survive. She was everything and he didn't want to go another second without being able to rightfully call her _his_.

He went straight to outside where her bedroom door would be, and immediately heard the shower running.

Again he didn't think, he couldn't wait. He just stripped down until he was wearing absolutely nothing, opened the door to bathroom and got into the shower with her.

"Oh my God!" she exclaimed when she saw him, which was like a half second after he climbed in. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? Get out!" It hurt him a little to see her covering herself with her hands, trying to hide from him. He didn't hide from her however. He stood in front of her, naked as the day he was born, his erection at seeing her perfect, wet and slick body standing at full attention, the water beating from the six shower heads around them.

"I had to talk to you," he said, completely serious and feeling a bit frantic.

She looked at him like he'd lost his mind and he wasn't so sure he hadn't. "Now? While I'm in the shower? It couldn't wait?"

"I couldn't wait another second," he told her honestly.

"Are you serious right now?" she demanded, and when he just stared at her gravely, asked, "What the hell is it, Rhage?" she demanded heatedly. "What is so important that you couldn't wait until I got home, or even to call me?"

"I love you," he blurted out.

She looked away, shaking her head, exasperated and tired at the same time. "Rhage, not now. I thought we were done with this—"

He grabbed onto tops of her arms and squeezed. "I will never be done with this," he said passionately. "I will never give up on you, Shailene, because I love you."

"Rhage—"

"Please just listen to me," he begged fiercely. "Please. You don't know how hard it's been for me to have you mad at me. And you don't know how hard it is to be without you and I don't think you understand how much pain I'm in. Or maybe you do, and you're just better at hiding than I am. You've always been stronger than me.

"I need you Shailene," he said to her. "I _need _you. I need you to be safe and to be happy and I need to be with you, or I won't survive. I hate every second I'm away from you and it feels so wrong to be around you and not have you in my arms. You are my _rahlman_, my _pyrocant_, my _nalla_, my everything. I'll do anything to protect your heart, I'll do anything to have you again. You may never be able to love me the same way I love you, but that's okay, I can handle that."

"Why?" she asked softly.

"Because I'll love you enough for the both of us. And if I can't have you, then you do the taking. Take all of me, half of me, a small piece but please take something. If you can't be mine, let me be yours."

He pulled her against him then, their slippery bodies crushed together, and kissed her with all the fire and emotion he had in him.

"Rhage," she tried to murmured against his lips.

"Stop fighting me," he growled, kissing her again.

She stopped fighting him. In fact, she started encouraging him. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she crushed closer into him. Her hands grabbed on to his hair, pulling hard enough to cause a slight amount of pain.

He backed up until they were against a wall, and she used the leverage to wrap her legs around his waist, holding him even closer. She was just as into it as he was: when he touched her, her body responded. If he grabbed at her, she would grab back. Every stroke, caress and kiss that he gave was returned. And when they finally broke their kiss, it was because both of them were panting for each other.

They stared into each other's eyes as they tried to catch their breaths, the steam and water and heat amplifying their natural scents, as well as the bonding scent and her arousal.

"Rhage," she breathed against his lips. "I'm done fighting."

He didn't need to ask her what she meant, because his heart knew and the rest of him followed. She was done trying to convince herself that what they had was nothing more than flyby. She was ready to accept him into her heart and life and she wanted all the things from him that he wanted from her.

Warmth, warmth that had nothing to do with the steam or the water of the showerheads, warmth that was all about the feeling of being loved and accepted by the person you loved in return, spread throughout his body.

He was slow as he kissed her this time, bringing her face back to his gently. This was going to be their first time, and he didn't want to rush it.

She was tender as she kissed him as well, just stroking his lips with hers. And then she pulled back to look at him. She didn't say anything, but the message was clear in her eyes. _I'm ready, _they seemed to say.

He didn't kiss her again. He kept looking into her eyes as he grabbed his shaft and positioned it at the entrance to her. The moment the thick head of him breached her sex, lust and heat assaulted him, but he was determined to keep this slow and sweet. He slid into her easily enough, so slowly and gently, he had to grit his teeth so that he didn't let a loud moan. He gave her time to get used to the size of him and he also needed a moment to compose himself, because the feel of her hot, wet sex made his knees weak.

She moaned slightly, then wrapped her whole body around him, her arms going around his shoulders and her face nuzzling into his neck. He followed suit, and when her hips rocked softly against his, he knew she wanted to continue.

So he started pumping and lost all track of where he was, the only things registering were where his body ended and where hers began.

He was slow as he pulled out of her and pushed back in, but that only made it easier for him to concentrate on all the different sensations she was causing in him: the burning desire, the aching desperation, the impossible pleasure.

He could tell that she was just as into it as he was. She clutched on his shoulders with her nails and her legs squeezed tighter around his waist with each passing stroke. Her breathing was as hard and desperate as his was.

He figured he was probably crushing her, what with how strongly his arms were wrapped around her and how hard he was pushing her back into the shower wall, but he couldn't ease up for the life of him. He was lost to the feel of her, to love of their act, to knowledge that they were both in this together.

He could tell when it was getting close for her, because the pace at which her hips were moving grew a little faster. He was almost there as well: he could feel the small of his back tightening, he could feel the pressure in his balls building. He crushed her even harder to him, and with a loud moan, her body clenched and spasmed all around him, and the feel of her inner walls drawing on his shaft triggered his own release and he poured himself into her.

He kept thrusting into her, extending both their rushes of ecstasy for as long as they could last, and when it was over, they stayed wrapped and clinging. He never wanted to let her go.

"Wow," was all she whispered, and he let out a small, shaky laugh at it.

He let her down after a few moments later, but kept her close as he grabbed the soap and lathered her slim, curvy, perfectly naked body. He loved how submissive she was to him, letting him take care of her for once and letting her whole body rely on his strength, just the way he wanted her to.

A quick rinse and they were climbing out of the shower, wrapping towels around each other and drying each other off. When she had a towel wrapped under her arms and her wet hair was left untied, he realized exactly how magnificent she was really was, here in her natural form, with nothing hiding it from him.

He lifted her swiftly from the ground, cradling her in his arms.

She laughed breathlessly as he carried her out of the large bathroom and into her bedroom, where the huge, swimming pool sized bed was. Even after what they'd just done, he was still painfully hard for her, and ready to take her all over again.

"You don't have to carry me," she said, but her arms wrapped around his neck.

"I know," he murmured back to her, taking in the gentle expression in her eyes. "I just don't want to let you go while I have you."

They reached the bed and he sat her down in the middle of the bed, then sat down beside her. He wanted her again, _badly_, it was true, but he wasn't going to force himself on her. If all she wanted to do was lie beside him, then he was perfectly content to do just that.

But she reached for him a second after he was next to her, bringing his face to hers and kissing him as tenderly as she had in the shower, and he in no way protested. She didn't pull away from as she started to lean back, but pulled him with her. She did release him, to his irrational disappointment and then euphoria, to remove her towel.

Clearly she was as eager for more as he was. Lucky for him.

He couldn't resist looking at her, and then touching her. His hand went to her breast, circling around the hard nipple with his thumb. She threw her head back and his lips went to her exposed neck, nuzzling her there.

He growled at the thought of feeding from her again, and pushed her down all the way onto the mattress. She laughed a throaty laugh, then her hands went to where is towel was. She pulled the thing away from him, took his manhood in her hand, making him hiss in pleasure, and guided him into her.

There was the forward, charge-taking female he'd fallen madly in love with.

Before he did anything, though, he really looked at her face, memorizing every seemingly poreless cell of her skin, the exact shade of her green eyes, every wet strand of hair. He especially memorized the

distinct scents in the room, combining together to create the aroma of their passion.

"I love you," he said devotedly. "More than I could ever tell you."

Before she could either accept or reject his declaration, he kissed her again, and started moving languidly and fluidly inside of her. The whole time he had her encircled in his arms, hugging her to him. They were still clutching each other as they simultaneously went over the edge.

The last thoughts that went through Rhage's mind as he started to fall was that he had never been happier, never felt anything more perfect—emotionally or physically—in his entire life.

Heaven. Now he knew what Heaven was like.

* * *

So what'd I tell ya? Worth it right?

I got a problem though. No one's commenting on this story and it's leading me to believe that no one is reading it. If you're reading it and you want me to continue, please comment so I know how my readers are feeling.


	12. Chapter 12: Revelations

**A/N: **I am so, so sorry for making everyone wait so long for this chapter. Things have been really busy since my last update with school and dance and all the other stuff in my life. It's summer now and I should be able to update a lot more now that I don't have to worry about homework.

For chapter 12, I have chosen "Never Gonna Leave This Bed" by Maroon 5. I think once you read Shai's first POV of the chapter you will understand the choice. This is for Shai, about how she feels towards Rhage now. Here we go:

Never Gonna Leave This Bed  
You push me  
I don't have the strength to  
Resist or control you  
Take me down, take me down

You hurt me  
But do I deserve this?  
You make me so nervous  
Calm me down, calm me down

Wake you up  
In the middle of the night to say  
I will never walk away again  
I'm never gonna leave this bed, oh

So come here  
And never leave this place  
Perfection of your face  
Slows me down, slows me down

So fall down  
I need you to trust me  
Go easy, don't rush me  
Help me out, why don't you help me out?

Wake you up  
In the middle of the night to say  
I will never walk away again  
I'm never gonna leave this bed, oh

So you say "Go, it isn't working"  
And I say "No, it isn't perfect"  
So I stay instead  
I'm never gonna leave this bed

Take it, take it all  
Take all that I have  
I'd give it all away just to get you back

And fake it, fake it all  
Take what I can get

Knockin' so loud  
Can you hear me yet  
Try to stay awake but you can't forget

Wake you up  
In the middle of the night to say  
I will never walk away again  
I'm never gonna leave this bed, oh

You say "Go, it isn't working"  
And I say "No, it isn't perfect"  
So I stay instead  
I'm never gonna leave this bed, ooh

Take it, take it all  
Take all that I have  
Take it, take it all  
Take all that I have  
Take it, take it all  
Take all that I have  
Take it, take it all  
Take all that I have

Take it, take it all  
Take all that I have  
Take it, take it all  
Take all that I have  
Take it, take it all  
Take all that I have

One of my favourites by the band. Okie dokie, let's not waste any more time. What are Shai and Rhage up to?

**Disclaimer: To J.R. Ward. I want you to know that just because I have a little fun with you characters doesn't mean I forgot who they belong to.**

Chapter 12: Revelations 

Shailene could barely tell the difference between when she was asleep and when she was conscious. That was how blissed out she felt. It seemed like each and every part of her body was individually infused with whatever the medical equivalent to "at peace" was.

She was deliciously warm and the reason was as obvious as the huge, hard male body pressing into her back.

She sat up, pulling the sheet she was covered with with her, and looked down at Rhage. Her Rhage.

She wasn't sure what she had been afraid of. Thinking about all her reasons for resisting him now only made her feel like a fool. Rhage had made his mistakes, but in the end, he had come back to her and never left her after that, no matter what she'd said or done to him in return. And now that she wasn't being a raging bitch and was over herself, she could see that she hadn't been completely in the clear either. She should have seen Rhage's side, she should have tried to put herself in his size fourteen shoes when she told him she was going to feed another male.

But she wasn't going to focus on that or anything bad that had happened before. She was moving forward with Rhage, and if she was going to reflect on anything from the past, it was going to be their happy memories. Like last night.

She felt a secret smile spread across her face as she thought about what had occurred between them only a few short hours ago. It wasn't hard to remember seeing as it had happened over and over again. She recalled every kiss and suck and caress that had passed between them. The memories were so vivid, so clear that she could almost feel them on her skin again as if Rhage was touching her right now.

She had no idea that someone could make her feel that good or that strongly. She'd only ever been with one other male, Hansen. Sure she'd had her own experiences with him, and they had all been pleasurable, there was no doubting that. All the times she'd been with Hansen had all served the purpose of satisfying her well and he had done amazingly for her during her needings. She in no way regretted them, but it was impossible for her to not try to compare what she felt with Rhage to what she felt with Hansen.

Hansen was a wonderful male, strong and reliable and caring. He had always been there for her, a steady spot for her to land on if she ever needed support. And having sex with him had only ever strengthened their bond though it wasn't something they did regularly and hadn't been since a little while after her transition. Sure being with him had always been pleasurable for the both of them, but it was nothing compared to being with Rhage. In fact, being with Rhage had taken her back to right after her transition, when she'd been a virgin and had no idea that her body could feel so wonderful. Being with Rhage was thrilling, scary, shocking, over-whelming. He alternated between being gentle and reverent, and being intense and passionate. She'd loved every minute of it. She wanted it again. She was getting hot just thinking about it.

Hansen wasn't Rhage, not by a long shot. Rhage made her feel beautiful, like she was precious, like to be with her was an honor beyond measure. Sometimes with Hansen, it felt like he was happy to be with her just so he could _have_ her. Like she was something to possess when it came to sex. And it might be something like that when Rhage took her, but it was different. He was bonded. To her.

She smiled wider.

No, Hansen was not the one for her. He had never left her feeling so fulfilled, so excited for the next time and so… deliciously sore. Comparing them was like comparing the nourishment one could get from a slice of bread to a three course meal; it was a no brainer.

She climbed out of the bed as carefully as possible and went to the bathroom. The first thing she did when she was through the door was look at her shower and wonder if she would ever be able to use the thing without thinking about the last time she'd been in it. She also wondered if she and Rhage could have any more fun times like that in her claw-footed, lake-sized bathtub.

She looked to the mirror next, only because she wondered if she looked as different as she felt. Her insides felt completely altered.

She assessed the reflection of her naked body. For the most part, what she was looking at wasn't any different from what she was used to seeing in the mirror: Long, lean feminine torso with the sun outline around her navel, elegant neck surrounded by cascades of mid-night black hair falling from the crown of her head, iridescent green eyes, full red lips, high cheek bones. She looked like herself, but the tells that something epic had happened to her last night were also present. She looked well used. Her lips were swollen from the hours she'd spent kissing Rhage, and her nipples were darker in colour, a little bit sensitive as well, again, the after effects of Rhage's mouth. Her hair was a mess from the many times she'd thrashed her head under Rhage's onslaught. There were also a few bite marks on her neck.

She focussed on those the most. The other remains of what Rhage had done to her would be easy enough to hide, you know, seeing as in order to face the real world again, she fully intended to cover herself up eventually, and run a brush through her hair. But the bite marks…those would be hard to deal with. They were inflamed puncture wounds surrounded by red blazes of skin where he had sucked on her. They were different from the ones Hansen had left on her and even the one Rhage himself had left the first time he'd drunk from her. Those hadn't looked so raw, and they'd been easy to keep from the public eye. These ones looked the way they looked because Rhage hadn't been as gentle with her as he had the last time, not that that had been what she'd wanted. These ones that Rhage had given her were placed, most likely strategically and on purpose, right where Rhage would want them: where everyone could see them.

She ran her fingers over them gingerly. They also made her think about other effects Rhage had on her. She noticed her flamed cheeks, the light in her eyes, the fact that she couldn't stop smiling. She looked… happy. For the first time in a long, long time, she was truly happy.

The bite marks also made her think of how cold she'd become, and how much she missed the feeling of her male's body around her.

She went back to the bed room and climbed into her bed. As if on instinct, Rhage's arms wrapped around her and she was brought to his body. She laughed a little and looked at his sleeping face. How had she managed to stay away from him so long? How had she survived without him? It seemed impossible now, to even think about making it one more day without him. She knew that she was never leaving him again.

Forever. She wanted forever with him.

"I love you," she whispered, before briefly pressing her lips softly to his. His response was to hold her tighter.

She snuggled gratefully into his arms.

She must have fallen asleep, because she was awoken later by the feel of fingers. Long, strong, thick fingers caressing her legs, running over her stomach, stroking her arms. Insistently, lazily, affectionately, they petted all parts of her body, and they weren't the only things working to wake her up. There was a thick, corded leg between both of hers and, of course, a rock hard erection pressing into her stomach.

He must have felt the change in her, because the muscled arms that held her tightened, and she felt a familiar pair of lips start to run over her neck, right over the bight marks he'd left on her.

She smiled, and opened her eyes to see the pair of neon blue ones that she loved so much boring into hers.

She smiled wider. "Hi."

"Hi," he said, smiling before he pressed his lips to her.

Kissing him back was an automatic reflex of hers by now. But she had to break off when she heard her phone chime.

"Vishous is wondering where you are," she said, sitting up reaching for the phone.

"Let him wonder," he murmured, seeking her lips again.

She kissed him back for moment before breaking away. "They're really getting worried back at the mansion."

"And when we show up there later, they'll have no reason to worry."

"And what are we doing now that stops us from reassuring them this moment?"

He smiled devilishly. "Give you one guess," he hinted, before he covered her mouth with his again. She couldn't help but giggle a little.

God, she was _giggling_ now. What has he done to her?

"Sorry," she said when she pulled away from him a moment later, "but I need to call them now." She was playfully serious as she said this while looking into his eyes, taunting him a little. It wasn't about giving relief to the paranoid minds back at the mansion; it was more about testing his restraint skills, teasing him, making him wait for it.

He stared at her incredulously as she dialed Vishous back.

"What the hell?" he demanded before she could even get out a "Hey, V". "Is Rhage with you?"

"He's here," she said calmly.

He let out a half frustrated, half relieved sigh. "What the fuck! Nobody even knew he was home last night. He could've been _lesser_ chow for all we know," he ranted.

"I know," she said, looking back at him. "He's an impulsive one, and no one knows that better than me. He got here about ten minutes before sun-up."

"Does that moron ever think?" he demanded, more to himself than to Shai.

"I don't know, V. He can be pretty…thoughtful, I've noticed."

"Exactly," Rhage whispered. That was the moment he chose to start getting friendly again.

"Stop," she whispered to him half-heartedly as his hands started traveling along her legs. She knocked them away.

"And persistent," Vishous muttered.

Rhage chuckled softly at that and his lips started in on her neck.

"Yeah, I'd give him that," she agreed, hoping Vishous couldn't hear the strain in her voice as she tried not to moan.

"Did you two end up talking?" he wondered.

"Not really," Rhage murmured, his hands starting a slow, very gratifying ascent up her stomach.

She slapped his hands away before she could get lost in the feel of them and in the anticipation of where they were headed.

She crawled away from him, moving forward on the bed and taking the sheet with her. "Shut up," she whispered brusquely. "We talked a little before we went to bed," she answered V.

"And?" he demanded curtly.

She was about to answer when she felt the mattress behind her shift, Rhage coming after her again, and she was about to tell him to knock it off when she felt his lips at the base of her back—she'd neglected to cover that part of herself—right over the moon tattoo. She yelped in surprise, and then moaned as he started to kiss his way slowly up her spine, until he got to the centre of her back, right at her sweet spot. She gasped as he started to pay special attention to that spot and threw her head back.

"Shailene," Vishous barked through the phone, trying to get her attention.

She whipped around and pushed Rhage away, falling as she did. She knew V was waiting for an answer but she couldn't quite recall what the question was. "What was that?" she asked shakily. She crawled backwards as Rhage started to advance on her.

"How are things between you and Rhage now?" he needled impatiently, annunciating each word.

Rhage was hovering over her at that point. He ripped the sheet away from her, exposing all of her naked body. The smile he gave was one of a Cheshire cat, before he leaned over her stomach and started to lick around her belly button.

"That's amazing," she sighed breathlessly.

"Amazing?" he asked incredulously. "Things between you guys are 'amazing'?"

"I mean…" she said shakily as Rhage continued, "I couldn't … get away from him, so… I was forced to… tolerate him—" she broke off to moan as Rhage moved to her hip—"And… things are a lot better now," she finished quickly.

"Clearly," Vishous said, and sounded like he was smirking now. "Do you want me to call you guys… later?"

"That may be a good idea," she huffed. Then Rhage did the unbelievable with his fangs and she let out a loud gasp. "I have to go, V. I'll see you later." She clicked the "end" button and threw the phone to who-the-hell-cared. The moment the thing left her fingers, she attacked Rhage.

"You're unbelievable," she criticized against his lips. "I can't believe you would do that."

He grabbed her hovering form and flipped their positions so that he was over her now. He leaned down and kissed her again urgently. "I need you."

She didn't doubt that; the beautifully thick, long and hard length could only be there for one reason. "And you couldn't wait?" she demanded, running her hands up his ribbed abdomen.

"I can never wait," he said into her throat as he ran his fangs over her neck.

"You're insatiable," she sighed, turning her head so he could have better access to her throat.

"Not true," he disagreed. "You do an _amazing_ job of satisfying me, as you proved multiple times last night." He smiled evilly. "I just can never wait for the next time."

"And I guess you're looking for more satisfaction," she stated.

"You know me better than anyone else."

There wasn't much talking after that as Rhage's mouth claimed hers.

He pulled the sheets and the duvet off the bed, and what a beautiful relief it was to have nothing separating them, to feel him, skin to skin. Under all his strength and hard muscle, she felt small and delicate, but she also felt powerful as well: he was breathing hard because he wanted her, because he was as desperate for this time with her as she was.

She stopped thinking then, because all thoughts evaporated from her mind as Rhage's mouth dropped to her breast. She let out a loud breath as his mouth enveloped her breast and his tongue flicked over her puckered nipple. One of his hands went to her other swell while the other stroked the inside of her thighs. He was such a tease, the way his fingers tickled the skin so close to where she needed him, making her hold her breath in anticipation, then skirted away, back down her leg, and back again.

But her suffering didn't last long. At this point, she was burning hot and completely wet, and she knew Rhage well enough to know that it would prove too hard a temptation to resist. She felt one, sure stroke of his long finger, right up the center of her. This time she couldn't hold back the half gasp, half moan that she'd been fighting since he put his hands on her. But it was nothing compared to the sound she made when he pushed into her and started pumping.

She was lost to the sensations of him as he played around inside of her. She rolled her hips into the mattress and let out a keening cry, which gave him the unintentional signal to move down her body.

Shailene heard him moan just as she felt the warm, heavenly stroke of his tongue. He seemed to savour her before he started to devour her. Rhage was relentless as he worked her. He seemed to know what she liked best and he kept giving it to her, while he kept up his pumping, and she knew that soon it would be too much for her. He was driving her hard, and she finally flew apart when he curled his fingers, hitting a new spot inside her as he stroked in and out. She held nothing back, left no reservations and reveled in the orgasm he gave her. Before it was over, he shot up, and she felt the thicker, longer, harder length that she'd been waiting to fill her and she orgasmed again at his intrusion, legs wrapping around his hips and tilting up so he could get in deeper, nails scoring his back where she clung onto him with all her might. They stared into each other's eyes as they started to move in unison.

"Rhage!" she gasped, "take my vein—"

She hadn't even finished fully articulating the demand before she felt the searing pain in neck. She gasped, but then moaned as she felt the first draw on her vein and threaded her fingers through that thick blond hair, holding him where he was so he wouldn't stop.

Rhage was her fantasy made real, everything she thought she never wanted come true to her in the form of one perfect male. She marveled again at how they were meant to be like this, how well they fit together, how in sync they were. And how even though this was the best, purest form of pleasure she'd ever known, Rhage wasn't here with her because this was an easy source for release or even for more important reasons like his beast. This wasn't just sex for sex sake. He was with her because he loved her. He loved her and she knew it in every cell of her body, she felt it in every kiss— no matter where on her body it was—he gave her, she felt it in every gentle touch of his hands, and she reveled in it with each glorious thrust of his hips.

She was almost at her breaking point, the duel pleasures of his manhood and his fangs in her throat bringing her closer and closer to the edge. As if reading her mind and desperate to bringing her to her limit, he trust faster, sucked harder, and one of his hands reached down between them and rubbed at the most sensitive part of her sex. That did it for her, and she flew into oblivion again. She felt him separate from her neck and lap at the wounds just as she felt the amazing sensation of Rhage's release pouring deep inside of her.

But Rhage wasn't done with her yet. He flipped their position, leaving her on top. He sat up, forcing her body into a sitting position as well. Inside her, she could still feel his erection, hard as a baseball bat, twitching and waiting for another release.

Laughing as she realized what he wanted, and never the one to leave him suffering this way, she started moving again, this time hard and fast, grinding her hips into his as much as possible.

Rhage let out a loud groan and, while somehow managing to leave enough room for her to move, crushed her to him. She couldn't resist the urge to grab onto him again as she pleasured him and herself. She felt his hand tangle in her hair and palming the back of her head, he brought her to his own neck.

"Bite!" he growled. She could not refuse.

She was quick and swift as she bit through his skin and got a mouthful of his blood. As always, he was perfection made manifest, a fountain of strength and power on her tongue, down her throat, and in her stomach and she couldn't get enough of him. That was why there were as many bite marks on his neck as there were on hers.

Rhage roared as she drank her fill, his hands went to her hips and took control of her and he grinded even harder into her, making her moan against him.

She didn't last any longer and neither did he. The draws of her sex on his set him off. Together, they flew into the place where nothing but pulsing heat and the most extraordinary kind of physical pleasure existed.

They were both breathing hard as they came back. She ran her hands down his back, stroking the skin there, and she felt the little crevices she left from where her nails had dug into him as she held on for dear life.

"I'm sorry," she apologized breathlessly. "I didn't mean to."

He chuckled. "Do you hear me complaining?"

"No."

"Then don't apologize," he told her. "Trust me, I don't mind."

"Rhage, I nearly tore you to shreds—"

"And I loved it. Every minute of it."

She laughed a little as he leaned back so that they were against the mattress and slipped out of her. She rolled off of him, trying to give him some space after what they'd just done, but as always the whole separation thing wasn't his style. He pulled her back to him the moment they lost the feel of the other's skin. Resuming the position they'd been in when she woke up the second time, his arms encircled her, their legs intertwined and he held her close. Now that her brain matter had solidified again, she noticed that the bonding scent was a huge presence and she loved it.

After they had both fully caught their breath, he kissed her softly. "I love waking up next to you."

She smiled, feeling the same way. "I love it, too. It's too bad the paradise can't last forever."

He groaned, catching on quick. "I guess we should start getting ready to go back."

She nodded, but when she started to get up, his response was to pull her back down to him.

When she looked at him inquisitively, he smiled at her slyly and said, "I said we should, I didn't say we were going to." He held her closer. "Just lie here with me. I just want to hold you for a bit."

She snuggled back into him. "No complaining here."

They were silent for a while, before she had to talk to him about something that had been plaguing her since she woke up during the day. "So there's some things we need to discuss."

He sighed. "'Discuss?' When you start acting formal, I know we have a problem."

"We do. He's about six seven, long black hair, people call him the Blind King, but we like to call him 'brother'."

Rhage sighed again. "Wrath."

"Yep."

"He's going to notice that you're covered in my scent the second he sees you."

"Uh huh. He's got to notice that there's something going on by now."

"But I wouldn't call him a problem," he said.

"Really?" she asked skeptically. "You're not worried about Wrath?"

"He'll be difficult to explain this to, but he can't hold it against us."

"You wanna bet?" Shai asked. "You're saying that facing Wrath with his knowledge that you've marked me is not going to be a big deal for you."

"Exactly. I've got it all figured out."

"All figured out?"

"Everything."

"Okay, if you're exuding confidence, then tell me what you're game plan is. Please, enlighten me."

"I'm going to tell him the truth," he said virtuously. "That you came onto me first and I was weak and defenseless against you. That way he'll know that you started it."

She hit him hard in the stomach, horrified. "You are not going to say that."

He laughed a little labouredly. "Of course not."

She sighed. She loved Rhage's sense of humor, but now was hardly the time. Other than Rhage himself, there was nothing in this world that she wanted more than her brother's approval. "Rhage, I'm serious. Wrath isn't going to be pleasant when he finds out about us."

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

"So what are you planning on telling him?"

"I'm going to tell him that neither one of us expected this to happen. But it did." He looked into her eyes as he said the next part. "I'm going to say that all we want is to be together, that I fell completely and hopelessly in love with you, and that by some miracle you fell too." He looked so earnest and truthful that she felt her heart break a little. But then his brow furrowed a bit. "That's right, right?"

She laughed a bit. "Of course it is. I'm just worried about what _he'll_ think. He'll probably be more mad at you than me."

"Do you love me?" he asked.

Shailene was confused; what the hell kind of question was that? "Yes, I love you. With everything I have, I love you."

He smiled. "That's all I need to know. As long as that's true, then I can handle whatever Wrath or anyone else has to throw at me."

She couldn't have controlled the smile that crossed her face even if she wanted to. "You can be very charming."

He leaned in closer to her. "You haven't even seen my A-game."

"May the Virgin help me if that's true," she said, laughing as his lips came back down on hers.

* * *

Vishous walked along in the forest, pretending that he was concentrating on tracking down the enemy, when really he couldn't help observing the difference between Rhage and Shailene. As if the phone call from earlier in the evening wasn't enough to tip him off, now they were making it blatantly obvious.

When they'd walked into Wrath's study earlier, all the chatter had stopped. There was something obviously different, and it might have something to do with the bonding scent that was radiating off of Shailene.

Everyone had noticed and started making cat calls at the two and cracking jokes about how it was about time. They had all noticed, including Wrath, who was none too pleased. Once everyone caught wind of the drop in temperature in the room it was obvious how the king was feeling about the little show and share. His fists were clenched, his eyebrows had disappeared behind his wraparounds and his big shoulders were stiffer than a steal cable. The king was not happy. Not happy at all.

"Shai," he'd said murderously. "What the hell is this?"

She'd looked around uncomfortably, taking in each of the Brothers. Then finally, she'd walked up to Wrath and said quietly and only to him—the only reason Vishous had been able to hear was because he'd been standing by the bookshelf next to the desk— "I'd rather not talk about it now."

The regular meeting had gone on, but it was anything but normal. No one could really concentrate on what Wrath was saying because everyone was caught up on whatever was going down between Rhage and Shailene. Vishous himself was happy to see to the change. He'd known for a while now that the two of them were meant for each other. It had just taken awhile for the two idiots to see it for themselves.

But now the three of them walked through the forest, looking for _lessers_, and trying to act like things were normal. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't ignore the fact that the bonding scent was all over one of his best friends.

Eventually, Vishous had to speak up about it. "So, either one of you going to explain to me what's up with the two of you, true?"

"Not really," Rhage said casually. "What about you, Shai?"

"Hadn't really been planning on it," she answered.

"You two are asses," Vishous said, a chuckle rising in his tone. "The least you could have done was give us a heads up."

Neither of them answered.

"I'm happy for you two."

"Thanks, V," Shai said. "And thanks for helping us out."

"Yeah, my brother, we owe you big time," Rhage added.

"Just remember that when I send you my fee for all the pansy ass, cupid work I had to do," he said flippantly.

"The romance thing looks good on you, brother," Rhage said. "Maybe you should work it on the side."

As Shailene laughed, V rolled his eyes. "I'm glad you guys are in the whole lovey-dovey faze, but remember who you're talking too, Hollywood."

They both laughed this time, and though V would never say it out loud, it warmed his insides a bit to see the two of them happy.

"So this is for good now?" he asked. "No more of the sulky, cry baby shit from Rhage, and Shailene's gonna cut the reluctant, closed off crap?"

"This is for good," Shai said, smiling up at her male.

They walked for a while longer, before the wind shifted directions and the smell of baby powder hit them.

All of them stopped at the same time, without the sound of their footsteps, they could hear other things, like the crunch of leaves under feet and the snap of twigs as they break.

They were being followed.

_How many? _V thought, sending it out to the both of them.

_More than usual_, Rhage thought back. _About six or eight_.

"Take cover!"

Both V's and Rhage's first instinct was to get Shailene out of danger's way, but of course, the female was damn quick and managed to get cover for herself.

Once they were all huddled behind trees and bushes, they didn't waste time taking their turns firing back.

_This is getting us nowhere_, V thought, sending it into both their brains.

_Round attack?_ Rhage asked.

'_Cause that worked so well last time_, V thought sarcastically, remembering the last time Rhage had tried that and how Vishous had ended up having to call the other brothers to come pick him and Rhage up after his pain-in-the-ass beast was done dealing with those _lessers_ and he'd turned back into a lifeless sack-of-meat version of himself.

_It's different this time_, he thought, and V new it was true. With Shailene here and in danger, there was nothing in the world, save an apocalypse, that could stop Rhage from attaining his objective, and that was killing these bastards to make Shai safe.

_Let's try it,_ Shai agreed. _I'll go first._ She kissed Rhage's lips quickly, then gave a confident, "Cover me," out loud.

"Shai—" they both said urgently at the same time, Rhage even tried to grab her, trying to stop her, but she dematerialized before either one of them got any purchase on the crazy female.

"Damn it!" Rhage growled.

* * *

There were two very distinct gun shots, both of which came from Shailene's gun as she landed behind the group of _lessers_ that were attacking her mate, her best friend, and her. She let another one go and it got one of them in the back right between the shoulder blades.

"Fuck!" it shouted.

They all whipped around. They looked at her for a millisecond before they started shooting in her direction, but she was gone before the first bullet left the gun.

She was in a tree now, close enough that she had her pick at a clear shot at all of them, but far enough that they wouldn't be able to make her out from the foliage.

"That was the Promise," one of them hissed.

"Get her alive," another instructed.

_That's funny_, she thought to herself. They actually thought they had a _chance_.

Lying on her branch to get the best angle, she lined up another shot, this time aiming for the gun in one of their hands.

"Mother_fucker!_" it roared, because the bullet had taken a bit of its hands as it knocked the gun away from him.

Shailene smiled in satisfaction.

"Where the fuck is she?"

"Get that vampire bitch!"

_Rhage, baby_, Shailene thought, sending the thought into his head. _Are you going to let them talk about me that way?_

He made a sound that was half laugh, half growl. "My turn," he said to V.

He moved fast. Really fast. He went after the _lesser_ that she had already disarmed, knocking out its legs and slitting his throat once he was down, making him sputter as the oil-like substance drained from the gash, then dematerialized out of the way.

_You're up, V,_ she thought.

She took out another weapon, and V took out the _lesser, _materializing in front of him and stabbing him deep in the torso.

By that time, the nasty idiots started an open fire, shooting in every direction, so it was no longer safe to sit in the tree and make discreet attacks. It was time to take control of the fight.

And take control, they did. The three of them were a perfect team, able to fight their own battles and yet help each other's out if another's became too hot.

She was just finishing one off when she had her legs knocked out from under her. She hit the ground hard, her head banging into the solid ground, and before the starburst even started appearing before her eyes, there was a hard, strong, baby powder-reeking body on top of hers.

A sharp point pressed into her check.

"The Promise," it hissed in her face. "I do think your capture will earn me extra brownie points with my boss."

She was able to get her arm free and nail it one in the face, but because of the horrible angle, she wasn't able to put as much force into it or get that great of purchase, so it was quick to recover and pin her back completely underneath it. It was obvious this _lesser _had been around for long while, and if its hideously pale complexion didn't tell you its story, then fact that it knew exactly where to place its body on hers to obtain maximum superiority over her did. She couldn't move an inch because it knew what it was doing and that only happened over years of experience.

It smiled, an evil twist of its lips. "Though your strength and will may make you a fun toy." It chuckled. "I may keep you for myself for a while."

It surged forward and she felt something she'd never felt from one of these beasts.

"How?" she couldn't help but ask.

"Some of us get rewarded. Some of us are so loyal to the big man for long enough, that he gives us gifts." The thing surged again, and she was revolted to feel its erection grinding into her.

"The Promise. I can't think of anyone who would make better bait to your Brotherhood. Or give more info. Your civilians are useless."

She froze. Civilians?

"What of my people?" she asked through gritted teeth.

"You haven't noticed?" it asked, its voice sounding distinctly snarky. "We've been picking up some of your _people,_" it said the word sarcastically, as if her race didn't deserve such a title.

_Ha_, she thought. _It's the other way around_.

"Just scooping them up off the street," it continued. "We tried to…persuade them to give us some Intel on you guys. Some are helpful, some are not. The ones who like to sing like canaries get quick and relatively painless death. The ones who don't…" That evil smile appeared again. "The new _lesser_ in charge has big plans for your race."

Shai flexed every muscle in her body, beyond enraged, but before she could get it off herself, the _lesser's_ weight disappeared and she was pulled to her feet.

Rhage had thrown the _lesser _off of her.

"The mate of a Brother," it examined smugly. "Even better."

Rhage let out an honest to God growl and started barreling towards the thing.

She kept pace with him.

"Don't kill it," she urged.

Rhage looked at her like she had utterly lost it.

"Eager to save me." It laughed. "Thank you." It started to back away and they followed it. "Dream of me, Promise, for I know I will be thinking of you," it declared.

Rhage let out that animalistic growl again, and threw one of his daggers at thing, the blade plunging into its chest deep.

They didn't have time to see what became of _lesser _as they were attacked by more, but as a pop and a flash resonated behind them, she knew it was dead.

"Are you okay?" Rhage asked once the fight was over. His eyes and hands trailed over her urgently, checking for any injury.

She stepped out his hold.

"I'm fine," she said tersely.

"Then what's wrong?"

"What the hell, Rhage?" she exploded, taking both him and V by surprise. "I told you not kill it. I specifically said, 'don't kill it'. And what did you do?" she asked rhetorically. "You killed it! Damn it!" she started pacing, running her hands through her hair as she thought. "What are we supposed to do now?" she asked herself.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he asked angrily. "That thing almost killed you!"

"So?!"

Rhage sputtered angrily and stormed towards her, but V got in his way before they could let loose on each other.

"Shai, what happened?" V asked, calmer than Rhage but still confused.

She lifted her chin defiantly. "I told Rhage not to do something, and he deliberately went against my order. But hell, what's new?"

Despite Vishous being a living, breathing wall blocking her from Rhage's anger, she still felt the blast of cold fury that left his body. "Why would you want to save that fucker? It was going to kill you!"

"It was giving me Intel on the Society," she shot back. "I wasn't trying to save it, I was trying to get something out of it, you idiot. And I did. And if you hadn't acted like a macho-male pig head, I would have gotten more."

At hearing her answer, Rhage's neon blue eyes, which were glowing with anger, dimmed a bit. He looked more resigned now, though still agitated. "I'm not going to apologize for saving you. Don't ask me to do that."

"I wouldn't dream of it," she said scathingly.

"Well isn't this great," V said. "First night out and you're already fighting."

"Now's not the time for jokes, Vishous," Shai chastised. "Call the Brotherhood. Tell them all to go home now. We need to talk to Wrath."

* * *

As Shailene finished explaining to the room what the _lesser_ had revealed to her, Rhage couldn't believe his ears. He doubted the rest of the Brotherhood could either.

There was silence before Wrath said, "Shai…are you positive?"

"Wrath, it couldn't have been any clearer," she insisted. "They are changing strategy, just like we thought, only it's more than just larger hunting groups. They're taking our people and torturing them for information about us."

"And since no civilian has any—" V continued.

"They are dying meaningless deaths," Wrath finished. He looked murderously angry at the fact that the Lessening Society was picking off his people like lottery tickets; just waiting for the one who would give them the jackpot, and that was max info on the Brotherhood. "I can't believe this."

"Well believe it. The _lesser_ gave it away."

"On purpose?" Tohrment asked. "Why would it have done that?"

"Well it said it wanted to use me," she said brazenly.

Every male in the room growled, especially Rhage. He wished he could kill the bastard again for threatening his female.

"Use you?" Wrath growled.

"For information, for bait, all that bullshit. The usual."

_Not going to happen_, Rhage thought. It would sooner find home with its evil sire before they captured Shailene.

There was a collective growl again through the room. All the brothers were protective of Shailene and hearing that there were plans about taking her, again, made them all furious.

"You need to stay in from now on," Wrath commanded and Rhage had never felt more on the same page with him.

"Hell no!" she exclaimed.

"Shai, they have plans for you—" Wrath started.

"So what? It's nothing new. Plus, isn't that why you put Rhage and me together?"

He let out a small growl at that, his head turning to look at Rhage. He had no idea how to react, seeing as he knew Wrath would be have a few not-so-friendly words with him later.

Wrath sighed and focussed on his sister again. "Anything else? Did you find anything else out?"

"No," she answered immediately, but there was something in her voice, something that made it seem like she was holding something back. She'd answered a little too quickly. He wondered if anyone else picked up the missing tid-bit.

"I would have gotten more," she continued, "but Rhage _saved_ me."

He rolled his eyes at her scathing tone.

"Good," Wrath approved.

"But I'm guessing that whatever it was V and I found on the phone has something to do with it." She looked at Vishous. "We should go back over it."

"What do we do with this information?" V asked.

"As of right now, there's nothing we can do. It's late, and we're tired as fuck. We'll regroup and figure it out later," Wrath advised.  
Everyone was in agreement and stood up to leave and just as Rhage and Shai were about to make it out scot free, Wrath spoke again.

"You two stay," he commanded.

They froze where they were as the rest of the brothers laughed on their way out. V whispered a "good luck" that Rhage was sure they would need.

The door shut as the last brother left.

"Explain," was all Wrath said.

Shailene shifted nervously. "Now?"

"You didn't want to do it earlier, so yes. Now."

"Wrath, Shai was hurt during the fight," Rhage said quickly. "I need to make sure she's okay. Can't this wait until tonight?"

The king was silent as he looked them over. He seemed to notice that Shai was holding her mid –section.

"Fine," Wrath said through gritted teeth. "I don't want any more excuses. Tomorrow, before the Brotherhood meeting or Rhage," Wrath focussed on him, "your ass is mine. Feel me?"

He could do nothing but nod.

"Goodnight, Wrath," Shailene said.

He stood up from his desk to embrace his sister, but as his body wrapped around her, Rhage could almost physically feel the holes Wrath was burning into his face as he focused on him through the wrap-arounds.

"We'll be at the condo," Shai called as they left the room.

They materialized over there and landed on her balcony. Once she let them in, they headed straight for the bedroom.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"No," she answered curtly.

"What?" He started to panic. "What is it? Is it your stomach? Let me see."

She stepped away from him. "It's not my stomach."

"Then what's wrong?"

"I'm pissed off, Rhage!" she exclaimed.

_Oh fuck, here it comes._ He sat on the bed and waited as she started pacing, knowing that's what she did when she was trying to order her thoughts. He knew he was about to get a tongue lashing and he was ready to take it.

"Why did you do that?" she asked, concealed frustration in her voice.

"He was going to kill you or take you. I acted on instinct."

"No," she said, refusing his answer. "When he was on top of me, you acted on instinct by throwing him off of me. I'm not mad about that. What I'm talking about is you blatantly ignoring what I said."

"I didn't like the way he talked to you. The way he looked at you." He clenched his fist, remembering the carnal way the _lesser_ had looked at her. It made no sense, but it was almost like the thing wanted to take her. The way Rhage took her.

She rolled her eyes. "It was a _**lesser**_, Rhage, it was just trying to get under your skin, and you let it. You should have known better."

"Well it did, I didn't, and I'm not sorry for helping you."

"Yeah, you _helping_ me, just lost us our best chance at infiltrating the Society's plans," she patronized. "So thank you."

"What did you expect me to do?" he asked in a hard voice. "I saw that thing pinning you to the ground and I went after him. As if that wasn't enough reason to kill it, then it had to open its cock sucking mouth. You shouldn't be surprised that I killed it."

"I expected you to let me handle it. Thirty more seconds and we would have had something truly useful, then you could have killed it as many times as you wanted," she said, her tone matching his.

He stood. "I can't sit back while someone threatens you. I can't do that. Don't ask me to," he yelled.

"I'm asking, Rhage," she shot back. "I love you and I know you love me, but I need you to trust me when I say I can handle something."

"If you're in trouble, if you're hurt, then I'm going to step in. And that's the end of it."

"No," she shouted. "You step in when and _if_ I ask you to, not before. _That's_ the end of it."

"We'll see about that," he retorted, a challenge in his voice.

She stared at him incredulously, then turned away.

So much for taking it.

In the silence, he felt like hell for being such a shit head. He wasn't sorry for coming to her rescue, and knew that he would do it a thousand times over if he had to. He just didn't like making her feel inferior to him, as he suspected he was doing know.

He sighed and walked over to stand behind her.

"I'm sorry I screwed that up for you," he apologized. "But when I saw him on top of you, and I heard what he was saying, I couldn't help it."

Her shoulders relaxed a bit.

"I love you. The instinct to protect you is stronger than any other I have. So when I see you in trouble, there isn't a thought in my head but to save you."

Her voice was calmer when she spoke again. "I know, Rhage."

He tried to put his arms around her but she moved away from his touch.

He sighed. "C'mon Shai. Look at me."

"No, I'm mad at you."

"Stop being mad." He tried again to embrace her, and this time she let him, but she was still too stiff for his liking.

"Forgive me, Shai," he whispered to her. She shook her head.

He brushed the think braid of her hair away from her neck and pressed his lips to the skin there. She shifted a little, as if trying to ignore him, but he continued, and soon her body completely relaxed against him.

"This isn't…this isn't going to work you know," she breathed. "I'm not going to get over it just because… you kiss me and… touch me." She let out a heavy breath as his hands started traveling all over her body. He was wearing her down. He could feel it.

He spun her around and backed her into a wall, pinning her there with his body. She gasped when she felt his erection pressing into her stomach.

He leaned back down and kissed her, trying to thaw her further. His hands quickly undid her gun holster ant then his, and then he was all about her body again.

One of his hands reached down and kneaded her ass while the other did the same on her breast. She moaned and leaned her head back against the wall, exposing her neck to him. He ran his lips over where he'd bitten her so many times last night and through the day, paying special attention to that area. He truly did love her neck.

When he started massaging his arousal into her stomach, he could feel what it did to her. She tensed again, but this time it was more like anticipation than resistance. He kept nipping at her neck and whispering to her, desperate for her to forget her angry stance and let him get where to he wanted to be.

She ran her hands over his back and he arched into her to show his approval and to encourage her to touch more of him. When his hand snaked under her shirt to make contact with her bare mound, she let out a loud gasp and her hands went to his chest and pushed at him.

He didn't fear, however. She wasn't going to refuse him. Her body was burning hot, and he could feel the heat strongest from her enticing core. Her breath was laboured and her natural sweet scent rose until it was a loud fragrance in the room. And naturally her arousal only strengthened his, and the bonding scent came out of him and spread across the room.

"You need to understand something," she said labouredly. "You're not off the hook. I am still angry. You got that?"

"I got it," he whispered against her lips.

"Good."

She grabbed his face and all reservations were gone.

He was momentarily surprised by her sudden intensity, but as her tongue stroked against his and she gripped the fabric of his shirt to get closer to him, he came back down to earth and followed her lead. They backed up until they got to the bed. She sat on it, and looked up at him with eager eyes. She pulled off her shirt, throwing it to the floor. He followed her as she moved up the bed, and she welcomed him readily when they reached the pillows and his body covered her again.

They helped each other remove their clothes, but it took a long time because they couldn't seem to hold off on kissing and touching each other, but when they were finally naked, he moved down her body, leaving a trail of kisses as he went. When he got to the juncture between her legs he knew there was only one thing to do. There was only one option – he had to part her legs, lap at the flesh between her thighs like the starving man she made him. He felt her pulse through her skin, rolled her flavor on his tongue. He couldn't stop until he felt her come apart one, two, three times. Only then did he kiss her mouth and push inside her with a new determination that he would always be good for her, that he would always protect her. Always.

Her hands tangled in his hair as he surged within her over and over again, and she moved with him, her hips countering his.

When her body stilled and her incredibly tight sex gripped his rhythmically, he spilled everything he had into her, starburst appearing in front of his eyes with the intensity of his orgasm. It was like this every time he took. Every time he was caught off guard with how amazing she made him feel, like nothing had ever done before her. Every time he took her, it was like she was taking him, too, and he couldn't get enough of it.

When his ecstasy had finally finished and he was left with nothing but the aftershocks of a release he was nothing more than a sack of quivering muscle. He collapsed beside her, trying to catch his breath, and pulled her so that she was curled into his side.

"Do you forgive me?" he asked after a while.

"No," she chuckled. "You still have a lot of work to do before I forgive you."

"I look forward to gaining your forgiveness." And with that, he rolled back on top of, taking her delighted giggle as invitation to restart what they'd just finished.

* * *

Thanks so much for those who comment, review, and alert my stories. It keeps me going. Thanks! For those of you who are reading and not commenting, please tell me how you are feeling about my story. If you have any suggestions or ideas that you would like to see happen, let me know, I'll see what I can do. Comment please!


	13. Chapter 13: Perfect

**A/N:** Okay everyone, I'm back with more. I hope those who are reading enjoyed the double whammy I gave you guys in the last chapter as a make up for making you wait so long for that it. Shouts to **sophi6 **for all her support and enthusiasm. It's readers like you that make me want to write this story. **  
**

All I have to say this time around is I'm really excited for this chapter. It's one of those chapters that have a bunch of scenes I visualized when I first started contemplating writing this story, and now they are finally here.

Okay, onto the routine. Honourable mention goes to "Something Good Can Work" by Two Door Cinema Club (I suggest you look it up) but the song chosen for this chapter is a great one by the great Coldplay. "Us Against the World," does seem to fit the theme of vampire warriors, don't you all think? Now make those warriors fall in love. Once you read the chapter, I think you'll understand well why I chose this song.

Us Against the World

Oh morning come bursting, the clouds, Amen.  
Lift off this blindfold, let me see again.  
Bring back the water; let your ships roll in.  
In my heart she left a hole.

The tight rope that I'm walking just sways and ties.  
The devil as he's talking with those angel's eyes.  
And I just want to be there when the lightning strikes,  
And the saints go marching in.

Sing slow it down.  
Through chaos as it swirls, it's us against the world.

Like a river to a rain drop, I lost a friend.  
My drunken as a Daniel in a lion's den.  
And tonight I know it all has to begin again,  
So whatever you do, don't let go.

And if we could float away, fly up to the surface,  
And just start again.  
And lift off before trouble just erodes us in the rain,  
Just erodes us in the rain.  
Just erodes us, and see roses in the rain.

And sing, slow it down.  
Slow it down.

Through chaos as it swirls, it's us against the world.  
Through chaos as it swirls,  
It's us against the world.

I love that song. *Sigh*

Okay so keep that in mind through this chapter. Let's get on with the show.

**Disclaimer: **Blah, blah, blah, the Brothers aren't mine, yada, yada, yada.

Chapter 13: Perfect

As the sun started to rise and Mr. M was about ready to trance out for the day, his mind kept going back to the fight he'd found earlier in the night. And to his favourite opponent.

He couldn't believe he'd come into contact with the Promise. The frickin' Promise of all vampires! Fighting alongside those horrible brutes that race called warriors. He'd heard that she'd been fighting for quite a while now, from _lessers _who had caught glances of her facing off with others. Though he found it hard to believe, it was said that none of her opponents ever came out of a fight. That's why it was so hard to keep tabs on her because all the Society had to go on was the ramblings of the fearful and awed morons who had seen her fight, _maybe_, but never an actual opponent of hers. Plus, she was thought to be dead. Last summer when the _Fore-Lesser_, Mr. X had vamp-napped the queen, he'd shot the Promise square in the chest, or so he said. So, yeah, Mr. M had been skeptical.

Until now. He'd seen the Promise in action.

She was a beast, so strong and powerful and full of fight. Angry, too, it seemed when she was fighting. But why wouldn't she be? They were trying to wipe out her race.

That was another thing that got him about the Promise fighting. She was a ruler of the race, right alongside with the king and queen. Shouldn't she be more carefully guarded and not thrown carelessly out into the fight with the race's enemies? She was invaluable to the vampires. The fucking idiots believed her to be the bringer of life to the race and all that bullshit. If she died, they believed they would be at a total loss. So why was she out and about, just begging for something pale and soulless to find her?

Well, after seeing her in battle, he could imagine that it was her choice and they believed she could take care of herself.

He would show her that she couldn't.

Because of her value to the race, she was an even hotter commodity than the Brothers. Even though it seemed that they should have more protection for her, it was clear that those Brothers were crazy over her. When the _lessers_ had started shooting, those Brothers dove to get her skinny ass out of the way first, not even giving a shit about themselves. If she were to be made the Societies little info puppet, the whole Brotherhood would come stampeding. He'd heard that had happened a few times in the past when she'd been captured. Why not try that again?

Plus she was the king's baby sis. And more importantly, the mate of a Brother. There had been two warriors with her tonight and though they were both protective over her, the way that blond one had looked at him when he'd been speaking to her was nothing but an assured murder, which only came when a bonded male's female was threatened. Plus, his scent was _all_ over her. It only made Mr. M all the more excited towards finding her and taking her.

For himself.

Catching her would definitely boost him in the ranks and in the eyes of the Omega. He was making it his life's mission to finding her again. But when he did, he was definitely planning on keeping her for himself for a while. She was one of a kind, that Promise. She was a conundrum. She had the looks to be as delicate and beautiful as a butterfly, but he knew that she was tougher than that. He had felt her right hook. Was dealing with the after effects of it now. She probably thought she was stronger than anything else out there. He would enjoy beating that self-satisfied attitude out of her. He would enjoy having her try to beat him as well. He would have fun using the "gift" that the Omega had given him on her. She would fight him tooth and nail, and even when she was all worn out, she still wouldn't submit to him. He would fuck the fight right out of her, make a toy out her, a fun little play thing, and guessing her will, it would take a long time. And probably leave a few war scars on him, too.

He could not fucking wait. It was going to be perfect.

He was getting hard just thinking about it.

Mr. M smiled to himself as he thought about all the games he'd get to play with his perfect little toy when he caught her.

* * *

The dream state that Rhage was currently living in was too erotic for him stand. Waking up, he decided he needed to live out the dream for himself in real time.

He rolled over and reached for his female, but as his fingers searched, she wasn't anywhere in the silk sheets.

He sat up, groggy, confused, and aching. Where was she?

He quickly became aware of the dim sound of a piano playing.

Pulling on a pair of sweats that now called this place their home, he went to the source of the sound, knowing there was no other place Shailene could be.

She was there, wearing his black T-shirt, sitting on the bench in front of the huge glossy black instrument, using it to make what he assumed magic to sound like.

He was brought back to the last time he had seen her like this, back when they were in limbo. She had been totally absorbed as her fingers glided across the black and white ivory, and he remembered loving the passion with which she'd played, how it seemed to bring her joy, as well as him. Back then they'd been constantly going back and forth with their relationship, but in that moment, he'd been happy just to watch her.  
And also like last time, he found himself totally aroused.

"That's beautiful," he said, also like the last time he'd walked in on her.

The music cut off sharply as she tensed in surprise, but she quickly relaxed. When she turned around though, this time her face was radiant with a smile.

"Stop sneaking up on me," she said, but she sounded like she was happy to see him.

He smiled back and quickly went to her. "You usually see me coming."

He kissed her deeply when he was seated next to her and then held her tight, getting a nose full of their mixed scents and loving it. He wondered if he'd ever get used having the privilege of seeing her first thing when he woke up.

"Hi," he said when he let her go.

"Hi." She shook her head, trying to clear it. "What was that for?"

"No reason, really," he told her. "I just like kissing my Shailene."

"Mm… 'My Shailene.'" She slid closer to him, and he wrapped his arm around her. "I like the way that sounds."

He growled low in her ear, tightening his hold on her. She laughed and started playing very softly.

"Did I wake you?" she murmured

"Nm-mm," he denied. He focussed on what her lovely fingers were doing. "What are you working on?" he asked. "Is it the one from the last time?" It sounded like it, just fuller, like she'd added more to it.

"Uh-huh," she murmured. "I don't know where it came from, but I just felt like I had to finish it today."

"What's it about?"

"It's a love song," she told him, and then in the same breath, she added, "It's about you."

His head shot around to really focus on her. She'd said it so casually, as her saying something like that didn't make his whole life. "You're amazing, you know," he told her.

"You're biased," she retorted.

"No, I'm right." He kissed her neck. "Will you teach me to play sometime?"

"I don't think so," she said with a laugh and gestured to the piano. "You see, the thing about this thing is, it wasn't made for a warriors big, brutish fingers."

"I thought you liked my fingers."

"On my body, not on my piano," she explained.

"C'mon." He kissed her neck again. "I'll be a good student. And I promise to pay you well."

"Tempting, but no."

"Okay. If you won't teach me, will you at least play for me?"

She smiled at him. "I can do that."

She seemed to steel herself, then her fingers rested on the black and white keys.

Rhage watched and listened in awe as his female did her thing. He thought that she looked strong and powerful out in the field, but here, with nothing but a piano, she true was a warrior. He could see it with all that poured out of her as she played, he could hear it in every note as she pressed down a new key. She looked like the world had melted away from her, and likewise, he felt the same way. As absorbed in her music as she was, he was completely consumed by her, and she was too great for words. For lack of a better word, she was perfect. His Shailene was perfect and there was nowhere else he'd rather be, but in this small room with the female he was lucky just to look upon, let alone touch. The female of his dreams, the one he would love forever and then a million years after that. If it was possible, watching her, listening to her, made him love her even more.

When the last note of the sweet, romantic piece that she'd composed drifted into the air, Rhage's mind was nothing more than melted muscle. He was amazed, and filled with loved, and even more turned on than he had been. But he tried to put a lid on his baser instincts. Though at the moment he was of the same mental capacity as silly-putty, there was something more important than sex on his mind, something more important than everything.

She turned to him, looking kind of nervous for whatever reason. "What'd you think?"

"Will you mate me?"

She did a double take. "What?"

"Will you mate me?" he repeated. She still looked confused. "I want to mate you." Still nothing. "I want us to get married."

She still had that blank look on her face and he was running out of ways to ask her.

She got up from the bench and paced. "I…you…what?"

He laughed a little and went to where she was freaking out. Taking her hands, he said, "I want us to be mated. Officially."

"You want to get mated?" she whispered. He nodded. "Why?"

He winced. This was so not how he imagined she would react to his proposal. "Because I love you," he said, like it couldn't be more obvious if a blimp wrote it in the sky. "You're the one person in my entire life that's made me feel like I couldn't go on if you weren't in my world. I know that I'm never going to want or love or need anyone the way I want and love and need you. Like I said, you are my _rahlman_, my _pyrocant_, my _nalla. _I would make you my _shellan_, if you are willing."

"Your _shellan_?" she asked.

"Yes. Officially _mine_." For all the world to know.

"So this is a possessive bonded male thing," she concluded, and he rushed to reassure her.

"I'm sure that's playing a role in my wanting to mate you, but it's more than that. I want to honour you, and take care of you." He looked her deep in the eyes, trying his hardest to convey that this was what he truly wanted. "You've saved me, in more ways than you know." A reference to not just those times in the field or the beast, who was almost unnoticeable lately, but also to the loneliness he'd felt before she came around, and to his self-destructive nature. "I want to be there for you the way you've been for me. I made a vow to protect you when I became your _ahstrux nohtrum, _and I vow to take care of you in our mating. So…Shailene, blooded sister of Wrath, son of Wrath. Will you mate me?" he asked.

There was silence and just when he was thinking he should have gone about this better, ever so faintly, she said, "Okay."

"Okay?" he asked, making sure he'd heard her right.

"No, I mean…." She took a deep breath, looked up to his face, and in a voice that came from not just the Promise, but from Shailene herself, she answered again. "Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes!" she yelled and jumped into his arms, throwing her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. She was holding him so hard, he felt and heard his spine crack.

He held her back, rejoicing in the happy sound of her mixed laughter and sobs.

"Yes, yes, yes," she chanted in his ear. "Yes, I'll mate you."

He felt her lips on his skin, on his chest, his collar bones, his neck, his jaw. On the tear tattoo on his cheek.

He started to laugh as she continued. "Maybe I could have done that better."

"No," she mumbled against him in between kisses. "It's perfect. This is perfect."

He pulled back so he could look at her. "It will be," he vowed. He took one of her hands from around his neck and placed it over her heart, so she could feel it beat for her. "From this point on, I promise to make everything perfect for you."

"We'll make everything perfect for each other," she corrected him. Then she kissed him, hard and passionately and melting his brain matter again. "I love you," she said, sounding like she was putting everything she had into the sentiment. "I love you." She kissed him again. "I love you." Another. "I love you, I love you, I love you…I love you."

He held her so tightly, he worried that he was hurting her ribs, but she wouldn't loosen her hold on his neck either, so he assumed it was all cool. He was wholly happy in this moment. He had his female in his arms, she was safe and happy and apparently loved him, and he was going to make her his _shellan._ What more could be done to make him any happier?

Well there was one more thing that he wanted in this moment…

As if they truly were connected, and Rhage was starting to believe maybe they were, he smelled her raspberry scent start to rise in the room.

He got impossibly harder as a result.

"You know what we have to do now, don't you?" she whispered in his ear, her voice sultry and erotic. Her hands ran through his hair, sending shivers down his spine at her touch.

"What do we have to do now?" he asked, though he had a pretty good idea of what was on her mind. His hands lowered to hold her by the ass.

"We have to celebrate," she said softly. "Take me to our bedroom and I'll show you how."

_Our. She'd said _our, he thought with satisfaction.

Before he could dwell anymore on the word and all it entailed, her hand slipped down between their bodies. With no time for preparation on his part, she pushed right inside the sweat pants and onto his cock, shocking the hell out of him, making him groan, and knocking him a little off balance.

She laughed in that throaty way of hers as he regained his footing, the laugh that came when she knew the effect she was having on his body and his mind.

"To our bedroom, my _shellan_?" he asked desperately as she stroked him.

"To our bedroom, my _hellren_," she answered.

He promised to fulfill her every wish and he could think of no better way to get started than this.

* * *

Shailene was still glowing with happiness as she and Rhage walked through the vestibule door and saw that the table was being set for First Meal. She was beaming from what had happened between her and Rhage, excited to share the news with the family, and scared shitless of how to tell her brother.

The usual sounds of balls cracking in the billiard room and loud male chortles and pounding rap music—tonight it was Public Enemy's "Rebel Without a Pause"—filled the foyer and Shai had never been so happy to be home.

"We telling them tonight, or do you want to wait?" Rhage asked from behind her. He had his arms wrapped around her and they hadn't been able to not be touching in some way since he'd asked her to mate him.

"Tonight," she answered immediately. "I want to do this as soon as possible. So we tell them tonight, after we talk to his Highness." She looked back at him. "Is that okay with you?"

"Of course it is. Tonight is perfect." He turned her around and kissed her as if they weren't in the middle of the foyer with the _doggen_ running back and forth between the kitchen and the dining room and the Brothers weren't a hundred feet to their left. Soon though, she didn't give a crap about how public they were and started kissing him back.

"Look who's here, boys," someone shouted. "The love birds are finally back."

Cat calls and whistles sounded as the Brothers all came out of the billiard room and surrounded them. She sighed and stepped away from Rhage. She could hardly believe there had been a time when she used to thank the Scribe Virgin when one of her warriors interrupted her and Rhage. Now she just wanted to boot them all in their asses, which she was of full authority and capability to do, for their smug and suggestive comments.

But it seemed that Rhage didn't care what they said. He pulled her back to him without a single glance at his brothers.

"Nice to see you're both home, though I'm sure we could all do without the sucking face," Vishous said as welcome.

"At least it's better than them screaming at each other all night and day," Phury offered.

"No, because now we have to deal with them screaming in a different way," Butch alluded, and the others all seemed to think this was hi-fucking-larious.

"Butch!" she shouted, shocked and mortified. They were working really hard on ruining the home-sweet-home thing she'd had going on.

"Don't bother denying it," Z said dismissively. "The way you two have been terrorizing this house, there was only one way the aggressive sexual tension was going to be resolved and that was by you two fucking."

And just when she thought she couldn't hate them any more.

"Oh my God, she's blushing," V said incredulously. "I can't believe she's actually blushing."

"So it is true," Butch said.

"Of course it is," Tohrment said. "Even a human could pick up the bonding scent radiating off her."

"True," Butch agreed. "It's all over you, girl."

"Exactly," Rhage spoke up. "Which means you're going to have to deal with me if you don't leave her alone."

"That's what happens when a male of our kind falls, Cop," V explained. "They mark their females, and they become unbearably possessive." The last part was clearly targeted at Rhage.

"Rhage has fallen _into_ Grace," Phury laughed. "Never thought the day would come."

"So this is an opportunity that can't be passed up," V said. "I've been wondering the answer to this question for decades now." There was a dramatic pause. "What's Rhage like?"

"Is the shithead really as good as he likes to boast?" Z inquired.

"You're fucking kidding me," she muttered, while Rhage laughed his ass off. At the moment, she wanted to kick his as much as the others.

"No, we're very serious," Tohr said. "Over a century of having to deal with him running his mouth. Now you can finally give us the proper deets."

"I'll bet he's good to her," Butch inputted.

"He probably has some domination tendencies," Phury suggested.

"Uh-uh," Zsadist argued. "He puts up a big front, but with the pansy way he's been panting after her for so long, he probably just lies down and lets her do whatever."

"I'm with Z," Butch said.

"I think Phury has a point," Tohr said.

"I don't know, they're both pretty aggressive. I bet when they get down, it's one big, night long wrestling match," V offered.

"I bet she can take him," Phury wagered.

"Oh, totally."

"Completely."

"She's been handling his ass for decades, now. This situation is just the equivalent to an artist taking on a new medium."

"So, Shai," Butch said, turning the attention back to her. "Which of us is right?"

"Oh God," she mumbled, bringing her hands up to cover her face.

"Does he make you call that out?"

"Does he make you call him any other names?"

"Do you guys role play?"

Okay, it was _waaay_ past time to end this little convo.

"Why do you guys want to know so badly?" She looked each and every one of them in the eye. "Is it because you all want him for yourselves?"

They all fell silent at that and she smiled. "It's no one's business but mine how Rhage is in bed. And if you must know, then take this convo to the locker room and leave me out it. Now if you're so desperate to crack some balls, do it on the pool table. I'd be happy to kick all your asses into the room if you want."

They were silent before V let out a deep guffaw. "I see falling in love hasn't declawed you."

"You're damn straight. Now go. We love you guys, but we have a king to deal with."

They all laughed at that.

"They think we're giving it to them bad." Tohr laughed harder. "Wait until you hear what my Lord has to say to you."

"Go away!" both she and Rhage yelled.

They chortled on their way back to the billiard room.

She turned and buried her face into his chest. "Can we move out?"

He laughed and stroked her hair.

"How did we end up with them?"

"It's called life, babe," he offered as explanation. "And sadly, they're in ours."

"I vote we _move out_."

"You can't leave me here with all that testosterone to deal with."

Both Shailene and Rhage turned to see Beth and Boo waiting on the steps.

Shai smiled. What a breath of fresh air Beth would be after that encounter. "Hey, Beth."

Beth hugged them both. "I'm glad you're both home. Do you plan on staying?"

"I don't know," Rhage said thoughtfully. "Shai wants to leave."

"You can't do that to me," Beth refused. "You won't leave me with them, Shai."

"I'd be taking one with me," she reminded her.

"The female to male ratio in this house would still be way off."

"Well if it means so much to you, I'll give you mission impossible: make them"— she gestured to the billiard room—"stop acting like ass hats."

Beth laughed. "I'll try. But in the meantime, Wrath is waiting for you." She started walking towards the kitchen.

"Wait." Shai started to panic. "You're not coming back up with us?"

"I think I'll sit this death match out. Instead I'll go see what I can do for First Meal. And after the _doggen_ kick me out, I'll go deal with the ass hats." She turned to leave again. "Good luck," she called back.

Great, Shailene thought. At least if Beth was going to be there, Wrath might remember to control his temper. Now they were walking into a minefield.

Shai stared up the suddenly ominous looking steps. "How do you want to deal with this?"

"I guess we just… go," he suggested, and she was happy that he sounded a lot more confident than she felt.

She loved this part. She loved that she didn't have to act so strong all the time, that she could be nervous or scared and not have to worry because Rhage was there for her. He would take care of her, be her strength, protect her. She just hoped he would know that all of that went vice versa.

"What do you think, Boo?" she inquired of the cat. "Do you think we're gonna make it?"

When all he did was purr and rub himself against her legs, she prayed that was a good sign. She looked back at Rhage.

"I got your back," he whispered in her ear.

"And I got yours."

They bumped fists and started up the stairs, hand in hand. Slowly.

They stopped outside Wrath's study, and the last time Shailene remembered being this scared to face her brother was when she'd told him she'd been fighting _lessers._ But this wasn't the same. She only had to tell her brother, her only family, the only person who has been there for her, who has loved her for her entire life, that she's getting mated to a male who was meant to be her protector, never her lover.

_Crap_.

God, she hoped this worked out. She didn't know how she'd handle Wrath not accepting their love.

"Ready?" Rhage asked her.

But she did know one thing.

"One more thing." She looked him deep in the eye. "I want you to know that no matter what Wrath says, I love you, and we're getting mated."

"You mean that?"

"I promise," she whispered.

They kissed one more time, a quick passionate kiss, and then while looking into her eyes, Rhage knocked on the door.

"Get your asses in here," was Wrath's reply through the door.

"Ready?" Rhage asked her again.

She took a deep breath and nodded. Preparing herself for this as if she were about to walk into an army of _lessers_, she held Rhage's hand tightly as they walked through the door.

* * *

Wrath wanted rip Rhage's head off as he smelled the bonding scent all over his little sister. He wanted to retch as he saw her walk into the room hand in hand with him.

It was moments like these that he wished he was completely blind.

It's not that he didn't want his sister to be happy. He swore to the Virgin that he did. It was one of his greatest desires, for her to find the happiness that he'd found. He'd just never thought of the implications of her finding that happiness.

For example, he hadn't thought it would burn him so much to smell the bonding scent that was all over her, even though with that kind of happiness it was a given. He chalked it up to hating the idea of her having sex. To him she was still the small female he'd always been happy to provide for and protect. Now she stood in front of him with a male at her side, a male asking him to take over all those responsibilities.

She'd grown into a strong, beautiful, powerful female, and Wrath couldn't be more proud of her. He supposed that he should have seen this coming. Everyone he knew loved Shai. It was only a matter of time before she loved someone else besides him back.

Maybe that was his problem with this whole thing. Of course there was the feeling that one of his trusted warriors had gone behind his back, but there was also the fact that he would have to share her love with someone else. Maybe he was an immature, selfish shithead and didn't want to give up the only thing that had been a constant in his life. He hated to admit it, but that was probably the reason he wanted to play target practice with his brother's head.

They sat down in the seats on the other side of his desk. There was nothing but silence as the three of them all sorted out what to say. The smoky smell of Shailene's nervousness and the mild smell of Rhage's determination struck him.

"Explain," he commanded.

He saw their blurry images look at each other briefly and he could just about see the way they drew strength from each other. He could imagine how they said a silent "I love you" with their eyes and how maybe Rhage would squeeze her hand in reassurance.

He knew all those things, because he and his _shellan_ did them all the time.

"Rhage," Wrath said, almost softly. "How did this happen?"

"I couldn't tell you, my Lord," he admitted, and he Wrath picked up on no scent of deception. "It just did."

"You were supposed to protect her, not sleep with her."

Shailene scoffed. "Sound familiar, Wrath?"

Yeah, it did. She'd said the exact same words to him the night he'd met Beth.

"Turning my words against us, huh?"

"I'm in to recycling."

"Since when are you an environmentalist?"

"Since now."

More silence.

"Rhage, how could you do this?" he demanded.

"Wrath, it wasn't just him—" Shai started.

Rhage cut her off. "No, Shai, it's okay." He turned and looked at Wrath. "I'm sorry, Wrath, if you think we went behind your back. The truth is I never meant for this to happen. When you asked me to be her _ahstrux nohtrum_, I said yes because I wanted to follow orders and protect her. I never planned to get this close to her. But I'm not sorry that I did. I hope you don't expect me to apologize for that because I'll be straight up with you. I can't. I won't."

Wrath had to give his brother props for standing his ground and sticking by his female. Commendable was what that shit was.

But they weren't off the hook yet.

"So where is this thing between you two leading?" he asked. "What happens now?"

"We're going to be together," Shailene stated, as if it was already a done deal.

He smirked. "You say that like it's written in stone."

They glanced at each other again, and Wrath could pick up on the taking-strength thing again. Shailene was nervous, as damn well she should be, and Rhage was doing a good job of making her feel more comfortable.

Wrath ground his teeth together when Rhage caressed her hair in a gesture of the utmost affectionate. But then Shailene nodded, and they turned back to the pissed off king.

"It may as well be, Wrath. We're getting mated," he told him.

Wrath went ram-rod straight in the back. His mind took a little vacay as he tried to keep seated. Mated? _Mated?_

Shailene winced as she probably got the gist of his reaction from his head, which was throwing off F-bombs like you read about.

"Mated?" he managed to grind out through his teeth.

His sister winced again.

"Yeah, Wrath," Rhage continued carefully. "I asked her to mate me this afternoon—"

"And I said yes," Shai finished.

_Mated?_

_Calm the fuck down,_ he chanted to himself. _Calm the _fuck_ down_…

"Wrath—" Shai started.

"I want to talk to Rhage," he stormed, cutting her off. "Alone." Then without even waiting for her to leave the room, he addressed Rhage. "Have you lost your fucking mind?"

He felt the shift in his sister as surely as if it was his own body. Apparently, she didn't like his tone.

She got out her seat. "Wait a minute, Wrath—"

"Shailene!" he boomed, standing up as well. "I want to speak to Rhage. Alone."

"Wrath, don't you dare—"

"Shai, I think you should leave," Rhage said, and her head whipped around to stare at him incredulously. He looked back. "We need to talk. And it's probably best if we do it without you."

There was silence for a moment as she looked between the two males, but Wrath and Rhage only had eyes for each other.

And cue the stare down.

Shailene left without another word, and Wrath was left with his brother. Or rather, future brother-in-law.

Fuck.

"Wrath—"

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he demanded. "My sister, Rhage. My _sister_. I trusted you with her and this is what happens? She starts acting crazy, depressed, angry as a mofo, and it's all because of you." He stared at the other male hard. "Now you tell me you plan on getting mated? Excuse me if I think this is a shit-tastic idea."

"It's going to work out, Wrath," Rhage said.

"You were supposed to protect her, serve her, honour her—"

"All I want to do is honour her," he cut in. "It's all I ever wanted. Now I just want to do it in a different way."

"You know she's a female of worth, don't you?" he demanded. "She's not a whore from One Eye or Screamers or ZeroSum."

"Of course I know that," Rhage growled. "And unless that nose of yours is malfunctioning, you should know that I don't see her as a whore from those cheap clubs downtown."

Wrath couldn't argue with that, even though he wanted to.

"Wrath, I love her," he said earnestly. "I love her so damned much. I'm bonded to her. Hell, I think it goes deeper than that. She's a pounding in my chest that I can't ignore…hell that I don't _want_ to ignore. I want to protect her and care for her and cherish her for the rest of our lives. The other females, they don't mean shit to me. Giving up my open sex life isn't at all hard to do when I know I can have Shailene all for myself. She's everything I want."

"I want to believe you, Rhage, I do, but your past behavior with other females and my sister make me skeptical." Which was a polite way of saying _I don't trust your womanizing ass as far as I can throw it with my sister's heart. _

"I'm never touching another female again," he said adamantly. "She's it for me. I don't want any other. I never will."

"And your beast? You going to use my sister to take care of that now that you _say_ you won't use the human females?"

His expression darkened. "That has nothing to do with this. With her around, I don't need sex to calm the beast. She takes care of it for me."

He started pacing back and forth. "I understand why this would piss you off. She's your sister. You love her. You know my past, so why would you want her around a male like me." He stopped pacing and faced him again. "But think of Darius. How would he feel if he knew what has become of you and Beth. He asked you to protect her, and now you're mated. Sound familiar?"

Wrath growled. "You better be real fucking careful, Hollywood. You sure you want to go down the road of bringing my _shellan_ into this?"

He didn't slow down, though. Then again, he never had been good with boundaries, which was why they were here now. "It's the same thing as what's doing here. When you met her, you never thought you'd get so close. You were just carrying out the request of a friend, a brother. You never meant to fall in love with her, but you did. And I know for damn sure you wouldn't change it if you could."

Wrath growled again, but this time it was more because he hated that Rhage had a point.

Rhage continued. "Now think of D. Beth's the guy's _daughter_. I know for you there's not much difference in the relationships of you and Shai and D and Beth, but how would he react to you two? He'd be so pissed he'd be spitting fire. But he'd get over it eventually, because he would know that you love her with everything you have, and that you'll always be good to her.

"Wrath, you don't have to like it. I get that you don't. But you do need to understand that I will always be good to and for your sister. No one and nothing will ever come before her in my world. She's taken care of with me, and she always will be. And I am dead fucking serious about this."

It was Wrath's turn to pace as he mulled over the Brother's words. Rhage sounded pretty damn sincere, and he wanted to believe him. He didn't want to ruin the relationship he had with Rhage over this. It's just that when it came to little sis, Wrath was ready to kill. And he didn't care who it was.

"Send in Shai," he commanded abruptly. "I want to speak with her now."

Rhage didn't argue, just went to the door. But before he left, he said, "I hope you'll give us your blessing."

The next moment, Wrath's sister was where the Brother had been.

Wrath looked at her, _really_ looked at her. She was tall for a female, but that was probably the only thing about her that could be even remotely opposing. She looked delicate; slim, likely to be crushed at the flick of a finger. She looked like a figure of beauty, of artistry, not war and blood.

Of course Wrath knew that she was stronger than that. He couldn't see it with his piss-poor eyesight but he could feel it when he touched her, and knew that if one looked closely enough, one would be able to see the slender muscles that made up her small build. If someone spent enough time with her, they would see the fierceness and passion with which she lived and loved, her immense kindness, her all around strength.

But she was still the female he carried out of that burning castle all those centuries ago. No matter how old either of them got, that wasn't going to change. At least for him, it wasn't.

He'd made a promise many years ago. The last words their father had said to him had been a request, rather than a command like he'd been used to. _"Save her, save yourself,"_ he'd begged in the old language. _"Protect each other. She's special, Wrath. Don't let her go." _He promised he would protect her. He promised he would never let her go. And now she was standing in front of him, asking him to go against that.

_Let her go_, he thought to himself.

Could he? He'd never thought about it before, never thought he'd have to.

"Wrath, I love you," she started when he said nothing. "You know I do. And there's only one thing in the world that I want other than Rhage, and that's your approval."

"Really?" he asked doubtfully, because she sure as hell didn't seem to care about his opinion when she started this thing. Come to think of it, she never seemed to care about what he thought.

She sighed. "That's not true Wrath. Your opinion means everything to me."

He scoffed. "If it mattered that much to you, then you would care about the fact that I hate it when you screw around in my head."

She smiled a little, then was serious again. "I care, Wrath. Now, with that being said, I also want you to know that we're doing this. Rhage and I are getting mated. With or without your approval."

"Oh really?" he growled.

"Yes," she said, calm and clear.

"What if I forbid it? What if I make a royal decree or some shit that says you can't mate him? What will you do then?" he challenged.

"We'll find a way around it," she said. "If we can't, we'll leave together." She looked him straight in the face. "And I will _never_ talk to you again."

He didn't doubt anything she said. To do that, to forbid her mating, was the ultimate oppression and it was unforgivable.

Lucky for him, he would never do that to his sister.

"You really want this? Him?"

"What can I say, Wrath?" She shrugged. "I love him."

"And he loves you," Wrath admitted.

She smiled. "I know he does. And like I said, we're getting mated no matter what. But I really want you to be there."

"Really?"

"More than anything."

"Come here, Shailene." When she was perched on the other side of the desk, he stood right in front of her, towering over her. He took both her hands in his. "Shailene, I want you to be happy. That's all I ever wanted for you. And if it's Rhage that makes you happy…then I want you to be together."

Her head whipped up to look at him. "Seriously? Like, for real?"

"Yeah, I guess so. The greatest gift a person can give another is their love. And if Rhage is the one that makes you happy to get out of bed every evening and excited to get home every morning… if your heart breaks every time you look into his eyes, the way mine does with my Beth, or even with you sometimes, then you've found the person whose already given you everything. And I can tell that you do all that for him. So how could I stand between that?"

"But…you were so angry. Why?"

He took a deep breath. "I don't know, Shai." He shook his head, not sure how to continue. "I guess it's just because…you're my sister. And you getting mated means I'll have to let you go. And that's something I never… prepared myself for."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You've been the one constant in my life. The one thing I always knew for sure was that you were going to be there, that I had to protect you. And now you're standing here asking me to give all that up, to let another take that on and it makes me…"

"Pissy?" she finished for him.

He laughed. "Yeah, I guess that's as good as any other word." He shook his head. "I'm a little scared as well."

"Of what?"

God, he couldn't believe he was going this deep with the shit that was in his head and, yeah, even his heart. But he could when it was just the two of them. "Of letting you go, and then losing you. I don't want to share your love with another male. But then again, I have to remember that you already did this for me with Beth. It's time I return the favour."

"Wrath…are you jealous?" she asked suggestively.

"Don't be ridiculous," he grunted, as if that would give him back his manhood after all he just confessed.

She laughed and squeezed his hands. "You had to know this would happen sometime. I didn't expect it either, but, here it is."

"I know," he said and released her. "Go get your male back in here."

In the next minute the three of them were seated just like they had been at the beginning of this meeting.

"Here's the deal," he started. "If you two really think this is what's right for you, I won't stand in the way. Go on and get mated."

Shailene let out a sound of pure excitement and relief, while Rhage wrapped his arms around her. "Thank you, my Lord," he said.

"With that being said, Rhage, if you ever hurt her again, I will have your balls framed and hanging in my study. Are we clear?"

"Crystal," he agreed.

"But I'm not worried about that." He stared at him hard. "I know that you are a male of worth. Are you worthy of her, I think hell no. But no one is or ever will be. I know you love her, I know you will cherish and protect her, I know she will never want for anything while she's with you. Am I right?"

"Absolutely."

"Alright then. There's just one more thing left to say." He looked between to two, truly meaning what he was about to say. "I'm happy for you two."

Shailene was up out of her seat and in his arms in the same second and he accepted her openly.

_I love you_, he thought, knowing she'd hear.

"I love you, too."

When they separated, they looked to Rhage. He was standing, holding out a hand for Wrath to either accept or reject.

Wrath would take it a step farther than that.

He walked over to his brother, stood right in front of him. He reached for the other male's face, tilted it down and kissed his forehead, holding the connection between them. It was a pledge of respect from the king to his warrior, a reaffirmation of their bond. It was Wrath's way of telling Rhage that nothing had changed between them, that he still loved and trusted him.

When Wrath let him go, his response was to thank both him and the Scribe Virgin in the Old Language.

"Oh, look at you guys," Shailene gushed, sounding maybe for the first time like a real female. "Getting along for once. This is beautiful."

They both grunted.

"Whatever, Shailene."

"Don't get used to it."

"Typical males," she muttered to herself.

"Let's get down stairs, shall we?" Wrath asked. "You two have announcement to make."

* * *

Vishous was relieved that all seemed well when Wrath, Rhage and Shailene came down for First Meal. Rhage and Shai were still pulling the lovey-dovey routine and Wrath wasn't protesting so he took it to be a good sign. Everyone at the table could feel the difference in atmosphere now that Shailene and Rhage were happy again, and it was the most delicious breath of fresh air for V to not have to deal with all that negative energy. Unlike Shailene, V couldn't turn his powers on and off. They came and went as they pleased, as if his body was a hotel for the pain in the ass curses.

Vishous observed the two of them. Rhage had his arm wrapped tight around her and she was cuddling close into his side. They found the smallest excuses to be touching each other, whether it was Rhage brushing hair out of her face so he could look at her better, or Shai pressing a kiss to his chest or shoulder in thank you. V noticed that it wasn't so different from the way the king and queen interacted.

Love, he guessed, made people totally lose all their inhibitions when it came to the objects of their affection. It made people want to scream about it from the roof tops and put it on display for everyone to see and be jealous of.

V noticed something else as he watched them. There was the feeling of…something in him. Of course he was happy for the two but there was something else and he couldn't quite put a name to it. Was it resignation? That seemed as good a feeling as any to describe it.

He knew with pain-staking clarity where it was coming from.

V had been in love with the Promise.

It was quite understandable if you thought about it, or at least that's what V told himself. She had been the one to bring him here, to his family with the Brotherhood. She'd found him, saved him from the lonely, hard and miserable existence he'd chosen for himself so long ago. And immediately they'd had a connection. V knew from the start that he could trust her, and what the hell, he fell in love.

Nothing had ever happened between them, thank God. He hadn't wanted it to. He hadn't wanted to love Shai, hadn't wanted to love anybody. And after a century and a bit, he'd realized that what he felt was more grateful admiration than true love and his feelings had died down to friendship. But there had been lingering emotions there, and so many moments when he wished he could just give into what he wanted and live out the fantasies that had been riding him so hard. But now that she was with Rhage, he could feel it all drift away. He was never going to be with Shai, and that was okay, because what he felt for her wasn't really love. What she had with Rhage was love, and he couldn't be happier for them.

"Hey," Shai called out eventually, and everyone immediately shut up. When the Promise was talking, it was kind of a natural reflex.

"Everyone, I need you all to listen up," she said, and both she and Rhage stood up. They were holding hands tightly, staring into each other's eyes. "We have something we want to say."

Everyone waited in anticipation for what they were going to say. They turned to the table and looked at each one of them. "We're getting mated. Tomorrow night, and we expect all of you to be there."

Everyone stayed silent, like they couldn't believe what their ears were telling them. But there was a clap that came from out of nowhere. A loud, slow, clap.

It was coming from Wrath. He was clapping. He was smiling. He was…happy…about this. About his sister being mated.

And the rest of the room followed suit. Beth ran up to give Shailene a hug, while the fighters in the room broke into a chant that vibrated through the room.

V had to smile. This was good, and he didn't need to see the future or read minds to know. This was a good thing happening to two of his best friends. This was perfect.

* * *

**A/N: **Okay, not a lot of action in this chapter but I don't think it needed it. This chapter was informative. Not to mention sweet and romantic and a little "AW!"- inspiring ;)

I chose "Us Against the World" for obvious reasons, but "Something Good Can Work" by Two Door Cinema Club would have been for Rhage's proposal and for the two of them trying to convince Wrath, and for V's sentiment at the end. So pretty much the whole chapter. Just wanted to make that little bit clear.

So Shai and Rhage are getting mated. There are still some things that need to be dealt with, like what's the Scribe Virgin gonna say? After all, Shailene was put on this world to protect and serve, not get mated. Plus, the big SV don't like Rhage too much :$. And what about Hansen? How's he gonna feel about "his" female mating another male? And not mention that there's a crazy _lesser_ stocking the Promise now. Anything you guys want to see in particular regarding any of these ideas? What about the mating ceremony?

Lemme know, either PM me or COMMENT! Thanks so much, I love you all.


	14. Chapter 14: Invitation

**A/N:** Okay I'm back with more. Not much to say about this chapter, just that I hope that you enjoy it. And a special shout out goes to Bilba0691 for making a few suggestions for this chapter. I'd been stewing over the idea that you offered up for a while but I wasn't sure how to execute it. Thanks for making the suggestion, and giving me the confidence to do it.

Okay, song of the chapter. Today's chapter's song is by the amazing and awe-inspiring Adele. It's "Take it All" from her album, 21. For any of you Adele fans will know that this isn't exactly a lovey-dovey song. It's a break up song. I'm not going to give any spoilers, you'll just have to read the chapter. But here are the lyrics and once you finish the chapter, I think you'll have a fairly good idea of whose POV it's for.

Take it All

Didn't I give it all?  
Tried my best.  
Gave you everything I had,  
Everything and no less.  
Didn't I do it right? Did I let you down?  
Maybe you got to use to, having me around.  
Still how can you walk away,  
From all my tears?  
It's gonna be an empty road,  
Without me right here.

But go on and take it. Take it all with you.  
Don't look back, at this crumbling fool.  
Just take it all, with my love.  
Take it all, with my love.

Maybe I should leave,  
To help you see.  
Nothing is better than this, and this is everything we need.  
So is it over?  
Is this really it?  
You've given up so easily, I thought you loved me more than this.  
But go on,

Go on and take it. Take it all with you.  
Don't look back, at this crumbling fool.  
Just take it all, with my love.  
Take it all, with my love.

I will change if I must.  
Slow it down, and bring it home,  
I will adjust.  
Oh, if only, if only you knew,  
Everything I do, is for you.

But go on, go on and take it. Take it all with you.  
Don't look back, at this crumbling fool.  
Just take it. Take it all with you.  
Don't look back, at this crumbling fool.  
Just take it all, with my love.  
Take it all, with my love.  
Take it all, with my love.

BE-A-U-tiful, right? Sad but beautiful. Special mention goes to "Rolling in the Deep", also by Adele, "Only for Me" by 2AM Club, and "Speechless" by Lady Gaga. They were all considered, but "Take it All" took all the votes.

Okie. Onto the story.

**Disclaimer: **These characters, all except three, are not mine. J.R. Ward just gave me a field to go crazy around in.

Chapter 14: Invitation

The request for permission to pass into her sacred Other Side came to the Scribe Virgin unexpectedly. Standing in her country yard by the tree that housed her beloved birds, she reflected on the fact that she didn't get many of these calls anymore and hadn't for a long time. The last she could recall with her perfect recollection was from Wrath, the Blind King, a few months previous. Now, as she stretched her intuition out further, she saw who was trying to appeal to her, and what for.

The Promise and the Black Dagger warrior Rhage were kneeling before her a moment later, dressed in white, both their heads' bowed in deference.

She looked at the beings of her creation, both special and vitally important to the race in their own ways. Their request came as a shock, mainly because in her grand scheme, this was never meant to happen. The Promise was not meant to fall in love. She had created Shailene with the thought that she would give hope to the race, protect it, serve it, nourish it… and since her transition, she had done exactly as she was meant to. And not that the Scribe Virgin was displeased with her Promise, but she had noticed that she had been a little distracted of late.

Rhage had her attention next. The rash and wild warrior with whom she'd always had trouble, from the time after his transition. She could sense the changes in him, the way he'd matured, grown more responsible, more caring. Never would she expect him of all people to ever be able to make the kind of selfless commitment they were there to request.

But there they were. As surprising and unlikely as this match was, they were there, about to request her presence at their mating ceremony. They were serious about one another, as committed and devoted to their mate as possible.

She could feel all of that, and still it came as a shock

"My children," she addressed them.

"Scribe Virgin," they murmured in unison.

"I must say, I'm surprised to see you here, Warrior," she said, speaking to Rhage first. "It's been a long time since you and I had an audience."

"I remember it well, Scribe Virgin," he replied, still on his knees and his head still bent.

She laughed softly. "As you should." She turned to Shailene. "But you, Promise, our visits are frequent and close in between. How do you fare?"

"I am well, Scribe Virgin."

"What really confounds me is why you are here together," she said.

"If it would not offend, we have a request to make," Rhage answered.

"I know all about your request. You wish to be mated."

"And it would not be complete without you," Shailene added.

"Rise and look unto me," she told them, and they did so. "Do you understand the problems that plague my mind if this mating is to proceed?"

They looked to each other, both unsure how to proceed, so she continued.

"Shailene, you are well aware of why you were put into that world, yes?"

She nodded once.

"Tell me why," the Scribe Virgin commanded.

"To serve, protect, and give hope to my race."

"Correct," She approved. "Tell me, do you not believe a mate will complicate and interfere with your calling? Especially the one that you have chosen?"

They stiffened.

"Scribe Virgin—"

"You're purpose is very specific and important, not to be toyed with as it has been of late. A mate was never part of the plan."

"I understand, Scribe Virgin," she said in deference. "But my falling in love with this warrior has only made my desire to serve that much greater." She looked up to Rhage and it would have been hard for anyone not to see the devotion shining out of both their eyes. "He has given me something more to fight for. A new motive, something other than fear and anger."

"Love," she concluded.

Shailene nodded.

"And he is the one who brings you this?"

"Yes."

"Was the love for your race not enough?" she demanded.

"Of course," Shailene answered immediately. Her hand grasped his. "Rhage only strengthens it."

"What say you, Warrior?" she asked. "Are your intentions true?"

"I love the Promise," he said simply, but the devotion that was in his eyes was now also in his voice.

Still, she was skeptical. "You have asked her to mate you." She shook her head in surprise. "If memory serves this is the first selfless thing you have done. And the last time you have made such a commitment was when you joined the Brotherhood. Maybe you have changed since we last spoke. But a mating… from what I've seen of you, you are fickle of heart, and careless when it comes to the feelings of others."

"As you said, Scribe Virgin, I have changed," he replied.

"Have you now? You are committed Shailene?" she asked.

"More than anything."

"Shailene? Do you believe in him? More importantly, do you believe in yourself? Do you believe that this mating is what's best for you and for your race?"

"I do," she replied, and the strength in her voice was nothing short of what the Scribe Virgin expected from her Promise.

"Than by all means, get mated," she chuckled.

"Really?" they both asked.

"Of course." She addressed Shailene first. "You have fought so hard, for so long for your race. You deserve happiness, and the love that I can feel connects the two of you. If this warrior is your hearts true desire than I couldn't be happier for you." She turned to Rhage. "And you. You too, have fought long and hard. I can see that you have changed, in more ways than I thought the beast would be able to do for you. But I see there was another factor that has an even stronger effect on you." She came towards them until she was standing right before them. She took their interlocked hands in hers. "I offer one piece of advice: she is the ultimate female of worth. If you are to go forward with this mating, I want you both to treasure each other. Respect, support, and love one another. This may all come as the obvious, but I only tell you because I feel that you both may need the reminder. Life together will be difficult given both your lines of work."

"We'll make it work, Scribe Virgin, thank you," Shailene assured her, happiness in her voice.

"I hope so. I wish you both every happiness," she said as she turned to leave.

"Will you be there?" Rhage asked, and then immediately looked contrite, as he should. It was known that questions asked of the Scribe Virgin were a breach of respect. "I mean no offence Scribe Virgin."

She laughed. "Be at ease, Warrior. The presentation to me shall proceed. I suggest you get back to your home and start preparing."

She continued to walk back to her quarters, leaving and listening to the happy couple behind her, celebrating in their love.

* * *

"The Promise Shailene is here for you, sire," Onella informed Hansen.

The Promise? Shailene was here?

He had no recollection of her telling him that she was coming. Was something wrong? Was she upset again?

"Are you receiving, sire?" the _doggen_ asked.

"Yes, yes of course," he told her absently. He was still trying to figure out why Shailene would come to him unannounced. It wasn't unusual for her to stop by for casual visits, but she always let him know beforehand.

"Send her in," he instructed.

Why was she here? Not that he was complaining.

He let out an audible breath when he saw her. She was beautiful as usual, wearing a white, silky robe-looking dress that flowed along her elegant body perfectly. I t was a stark contrast to her tan-brown skin and her raven black hair, which was loose and fell around her shoulders and down her back like a dark waterfall.

But when he focussed on her face, he could see clearly that his suspicions had been right and things were not okay. Her face clearly showed her discomfort, unease and nervousness.

"Shailene?" he asked.

She gave him a false smile. "Hi, Hansen."

"Hi. What's wrong? Has something happened?"

"Lately, whenever I come to see you, you automatically assume something's wrong," she said jokingly, but it was clear to him that she was avoiding answering his questions.

"That's because lately, every time you come to see me, you look as if your world is about to tumble down." He went over to her and took the hands of his love. When he leaned in to kiss her cheek, though, she quickly avoided the contact.

Something definitely wasn't right. She never avoided the hello kiss that he always gave her. She never hid her feelings from him, and when something was wrong, he was one of the first people she went to. Lately, everything was out of whack between them, she was so far away from him, and her reluctance to let him in only made him worry that much more about her. What was going on with his female?

"Shailene," he said sternly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," she said quickly, and just when he was about to protest her answer, she smiled slightly again, and this time it actually lit up her face, making it that much more glorious. "Actually, something wonderful has happened."

"Okay. So why did you look so put-out a moment ago?"

"Because I have something… very hard to tell you."

"Whatever it is, you can tell me." He caressed the back of her hands with his thumbs. "We tell each other everything."

She looked away nervously, another thing that was so unlike her. "I don't want to say it," she whispered. "I don't know how you're going take it."

"Just tell me," he urged gently, but his curiosity was spiking as well as his anxiety. What would she have to tell him that he couldn't take? "I want to know, whatever it is."

She took a deep breath and didn't look him in the eyes when she continued. "You need to find someone else to feed from."

Silence.

"Excuse me?" he eventually asked.

"I can't feed you anymore," she said, looking at him this time. "Everything else about our relationship can stay the same, but the feedings, my needings… those are going to stop."

Hansen's head was reeling. No more feedings, no more serving her in her needing…

"Why?" he asked.

"I know how you feel about me," she informed him. "And something has happened, and for us to continue…that would ruin a lot of things.

"Hansen, I'm getting mated," she said bluntly.

All at once he became aware of something. She wasn't just off emotionally, something physically was different about her as well. The bonding scent, he realized. It was all over her, every inch of her, radiating off of _her_, _his_ female.

He let go of her hands and stumbled away from her as if she'd hit him. "Mated?" he breathed. "How… how did this happen?"

"I fell in love," she said quietly.

"But…" _we were supposed to get mated_, he finished in his head, and then she sighed, looking away from him. Clearly she'd heard that little thought.

"Fell in love?" he breathed. "Just a few weeks ago you were over here in hysterics and now you're in love?"

"I was not in hysterics," she protested. "And you know personally how quickly a person can fall in love," she reminded him.

"Who is it?" he demanded. When she stayed silent, he put to and to together. "It's him, isn't?" he guessed. "It's Rhage."

"Yes," she whispered.

Hansen wanted to laugh. Or burn the house down. Rhage. She wouldn't commit to him, but she was ready to _mate Rhage_?

"What about us?" he asked without thinking.

She sighed. "Hansen, there hasn't been a real _us_ in centuries. You know that."

"So that's it?" he questioned angrily. "You're going to mate him and leave me behind."

"Of course not!" she exclaimed. "Hansen it's not like that. Like I said, I know how you feel about me. I've always known, and I should have let you go a long time ago. But I'm a selfish creature and I needed your support so much back when I was young and then we got so close…" she trailed off brokenly. "You're very special to me, Hansen."

"But not special enough," he muttered.

"I'm sorry that it's not the way you would like it to be."

"I always knew you'd never love me," he said in a low voice. He was sitting on the edge his bed now, his back hunched, his hands hanging off his knees. It was the position of a broken male, which was what he was now. "At least not the way I loved you," he continued. "But I thought that if I waited long enough, you'd finally see me. You'd finally want me. But I guess I never really mattered to you, did I?"

"Hansen—"

"What does he have that I don't?" he demanded, busting up from his sitting position. "What can he give you that you never found in me?"

"It's not like that," she said quietly, her thin but strong arms wrapped around herself.

"Tell me what it's like?" he demanded. "I love you, Shailene."

"I know you do," she sighed. "I love you, too, but—"

"But you chose him!" he almost-yelled.

"There was never a choice," she shouted back. She shook her head and shrugged hopelessly. "I love him. There's nothing I can do about it."

"You could've given me a chance," he whispered.

"I did," she replied, her face and voice softening. "I gave us a chance. I didn't work. It was nothing you did, it just wasn't meant to be."

"And you and Rhage are?" he demanded.

"I don't know," she exclaimed hopelessly. "All I know is I love him. I want him like nothing else. And as long as I feel that way, I'm going to be with him."

"Do you not remember what you told me?" he inquired roughly. "Do you not remember coming here all broken up? Because he went to that trashy club and was unfaithful to you? Do you not remember how he made you feel, because I do. You tried to pretend like it was nothing to you, but I remember seeing the pain in your eyes even when you tried to hide everything from me. I remember holding you while you trembled in my arms. Do you forget?" He was yelling by the end.

He was surprising himself. He'd never spoken to her this way before, but then again, he'd never had reason to. They'd always been so perfect together, so monumentally right. Now everything was going straight to hell because of that bastard.

"It wasn't like that," she denied again.

"Nothing is as it seems anymore, is it?" he asked nastily. "So he didn't break your heart. You weren't furious at him for what he did."

"Hansen, things have changed—"

"You're right, things have changed. _You've_ changed," he snarled, jabbing a finger into her face. He was right up close to her now, bearing down on her. "The female I knew before this _ahstrux nohtrum_ shit happened never would have let herself be hurt by a male like that, and then plan on mating him. She wouldn't have been so foolish and naïve and just plain _stupid_."

The smell of wood smoke rose in the room. She was getting angry now too, her flaming eyes and set jaw were also proof enough of that.

"He's not right for you," he said scathingly. "He doesn't love you. You know how he is with females. You're uncharted territory for him. That's why he's stayed with you for so long. But how much more time do you have with him before he gets tired of you like he does with the rest?"

The door opened at that and a big, blond being joined them in the room.

Rhage was seething. Clearly he'd heard their whole conversation.

"You need to shut the fuck up," he warned.

Hansen only laughed. God, he must really be out of his mind with anger. He could almost literally feel his sanity slipping away. The fact that there were two kinds of bonding scents in the room only made him more hysterical.

"Don't bother acting like it's not true," Hansen snarled. "I don't think there's a member of this race who doesn't know about your _pass times_. You're a legend, fathers tell their sons about you. You use females and then get rid of them the moment they're no good to you. Don't expect me to believe things are different with Shailene."

"I don't give a fuck what you believe, Hansen," Rhage retorted. "Here's what you need to know: your arrangement with Shailene is over. Effective immediately. Whatever work you two have to do with each other is the extent of your relationship. Whatever hopes and dreams you had for your future with her, you need to forget about them right now."

"I think I'll keep them," he replied. "I know that this mating is only temporary. Once she realizes how worthless you are, she'll be done with you and right back here with me. Where she belongs."

The blow that came right after that sentiment was stunning and amazingly painful. His head snapped to the side, his teeth slammed together and threatened to fall out, and the taste of blood flooded his mouth.

With that hit to the face, he let go of all his anger. It was like fire set to a dry meadow. It consumed everything, and came back to the front of his mind in angry sparks: how could she do this? He had been there for her whole life. He'd loved her more than anything. How could she betray him this way?

He swung back at Rhage, catching him in the temple. And from there the fight broke out. They went at it hard-core, blood popping from noses and mouths, the sound of cracking bones ringing through the air. Hansen knew that he wasn't really a match for this warrior, but it didn't matter to him. All that mattered was this beating—the one he was giving and the one that raining down on him—was an outlet for all the frustration he'd endured these last centuries. He hit Rhage with all the fury he had in him. Every time Rhage hit him back, it took his mind off the emotional anguish, which was ten times worse than anything physical that was being inflicted upon him.

Rhage had him pinned against a wall with one hand and his other was reeled back in a fist, ready to strike again. Hansen smiled a sick, bloody smile, ready for more of whatever Rhage had to dish out.

But then Rhage was off of him, and his female was between them, her hands on both their chests'. Wait, she wasn't his female anymore. She never really had been to begin with.

"Stop it!" she commanded, the full authority of the Promise coming out in her voice. That didn't seem to matter to either of them in that moment. They tried to get around her, tried to push her out of the way, but she wasn't having it. She slammed Hansen back into the wall roughly, his head rebounding off it, and pushed Rhage the same way in the other direction. "Stop it right now!"

Rhage glared at him for a moment before backing away, his hand coming up to wipe his bloody mouth.

Shailene turned to Hansen first. Whatever pain Hansen may have been feeling in that moment went away when he saw the look on her face. She'd never looked at him this way before, with such disappointment and shame.

He immediately grabbed onto her.

"Please don't do this," he begged. "Please, Shailene!"

"Hansen—"

"He's not right for you!" he shouted at her. "Give me a chance, Shailene. I'll be better to you than he ever could."

Rhage started to stalk back towards him, but Shailene shot a nasty glare over her shoulder and froze him where he stood.

"Give me a chance," he said again, softer this time, but still desperate.

"No, Hansen," she said. "There is no chance for us."

"He'll never love you the way I do," he whispered scathingly to her, looking straight into her shame filled eyes. "He never will. I've been there for your whole life. I've taken care of you; I've always been with you no matter what. I love you." She looked away and he took her face into his battered hands, forcing her to look at him. "I love you. He can't love you the way I do."

"I don't love you the way you love me," she said evenly. "And I can't love you the way I love him."

He let go of her at that. He might have argued with her, if it wasn't for the look in her eyes. There were no falsities there, no regrets. She was speaking from her heart.

And he couldn't argue with that, no matter how much he wanted to.

"I'm sorry that that hurts you, but it's true," she continued. "And I wouldn't take it back even if I could."

She backed away from him, closer to Rhage, and when she reached him, he took one of her hands tight in his. "I'm sorry."

And with that, the love of his life and the person that stole her from him left without a trace.

* * *

"That could have gone better," Rhage grumbled as he and Shailene sat on his bed in his room—that she was going to be moving into as soon as this mating ceremony business was out of the way—in the mansion. She was helping him nurse the wounds that Hansen had inflicted on him, which he had a surprising amount of. He winced as she dabbed at a cut under his eye. She wasn't making much of an effort towards being delicate.

Shailene, however, had no sympathy for him.

She was furious and flat out shocked. Not at anyone in particular, but more at the whole situation. She could not believe what had just happened. Never in a thousand years had she expected Hansen to react the way he had. Anger she'd expected, denial she'd expected, but not flat out _violence. _And never had she expected his cruel words. He'd just been so… _mean_.

She didn't blame him, though. He'd been hurt by the news, hurt by her, and unlike both her and Rhage, he was just going to have to deal with his wounds on his own.

Rhage cursed as she dabbed at his eye again.

"You know you deserve this, don't you?" she deadpanned. "You didn't have to punch him."

He sighed. She expected him to argue with her, saying something about Hansen having it coming and needing to protect her or some bullshit, but he wisely said, "I know." But then he tacked on, "I'm sorry you had to see that."

She laughed harshly. "Sorry _I had to see that_. Are you sorry you hit him?"

"No," he said without hesitation. And then the justifications she'd been expecting came. "He shouldn't have spoken to you that way. He deserved it."

She nodded noncommittally. She didn't want to argue with him, so she chose to hold her tongue. If she voiced the things that were on her mind— like he could have handled that so much better, or better yet, he could have let her handle it, or that he didn't always have to resort to violence— it would surely have resulted in another screaming match.

"You feel sorry for him, don't you?" he accused.

"How could I not?" she retorted.

"He doesn't deserve your sympathy," he growled. "The fucker was way out line."

"Rhage, don't you see where he's coming at all?" she asked. "You should. Remember how you felt when you thought I was leaving you for Hansen?"

He grunted and looked away from her, and she took that as a reluctant agreement.

"That's right. And last I checked, you had some pretty nasty things to say to me that night as well," she reminded him calmly.

She felt him stiffen. "Shailene, you know I didn't—"

"I know, Rhage," she said softly, taking one of his hands in both of hers. "I wasn't very nice that night either. But the point is, you both have some common ground now. So I'd appreciate it if you could give him a break."

He grunted again and she smiled slightly.

He sighed again and wrapped an arm around her, holding her closer to him. "Are you mad?"

"Yes," she admitted bluntly. But then she sighed and relaxed against him. "No. Not at you, at least. I just wish it didn't have to be like this."

They were silent for a moment, before Rhage quietly spoke again.

"You don't…" he trailed off.

"I don't, what?" she murmured.

"You don't believe anything he said, right?" he asked self-consciously.

"Of course not," she assured him, and she meant. Everything that Hansen had accused Rhage of were problems that she fretted over and freaked out about herself. If she hadn't come to terms with Rhage's past and put all those doubts behind her, she wouldn't be planning on mating him.

"Good," he sighed. "I don't want anyone to make you doubt me. I'm one hundred percent committed to you. I love you."

She smiled to herself. She never got tired of hearing him say that. Even when she'd been set against ever being with him, those words had warmed her on the inside, even when she hadn't wanted them too. "I know, Rhage." She looked up at him. "I love you, too. And nothing anyone says or does is going to stop me from mating you."

* * *

Bella wasn't sure who could be knocking on her door. She didn't have many vampire friends left, and no human in their right mind would be taking a nightly drive at three in the morning. It could be John, she thought. But then she remembered he was living with one of the Black Dagger warriors so he would have no reason to come to her for help. Plus, he hadn't mentioned he was going to come over in any of their emails.

Regardless, she paused the episode of_ America's Next Top Model _she'd DVR'd and got up from her couch in the living room to see who it was. By the time she was at her door, she remembered that it could be her brother. She hoped that it wasn't him and cringed at the reasons for why he would be showing up at her door.

It wasn't him. Instead, when she opened her door, she was met by a face that was the most beautiful in existence and that she had only seen once before.

"Hi," the Promise greeted her with a radiant smile.

"Promise, M'lady," Bella sputtered. She bowed her head in deference.

"Don't do that," she laughed, touching her shoulder, and Bella took that as sign that it was okay to come out of her bent-head position. "And please, call me Shailene."

"Of course, whatever you wish M'l—I mean Shailene," she quickly agreed.

There was an awkward moment while Shailene looked at her expectantly and Bella stood there like an idiot, just staring in awe at her radiance and wondering why she was here.

Then Bella got it.

"Please come in," she said, stepping out of the way to let her through the threshold.

"Thanks," she said as she entered.

For some reason, seeing the Promise here in her house was even more amazing than seeing her at the Brotherhood's training centre. It was probably because it was expected that she would hang out with the Brotherhood. But having Shailene here in Bella's house…? It was abnormal. The Promise didn't belong in such ordinary settings; even though she was dressed ordinarily enough— in a bulky yet somehow fitted grey sweater, a pair of dark blue ripped-at-the-knees, skinny jeans and black suede ankle boots—she didn't fit in with her now-seemingly mundane home.

"Would you like something to eat or drink?" Bella asked quickly. "I could get you tea or water or wine or whatever you'd like. I was just going to warm up some left over stew I have from seeing my _mahmen_ Wednesday. I could get you some." Oh God. Did she just offer _the freaking Promise_ three day left-overs from her mommy's house? "I can't believe I just offered you three day left-over stew. I'll make you something else. Is there anything—?"

The luxurious sound of her laughter stopped Bella from her haste to the kitchen.

"No thank you, Bella. I'm good on the food front. I can't stay long, actually, I only came by because I have something to tell you."

Bella immediately jumped to the worst possible conclusions.

"Is it John? Is he okay? Did he go into his transition? Did he make it? Or is it my family? Is my _mahmen _okay? Why didn't Rehv call me—?"

Shailene walked right up to her and grabbed her shoulders, shaking her a little. "I need you to breathe, Bella, okay?" she said, looking her in the eyes. Bella could see the amusement in her eyes and figured she was probably acting like an idiot. Again. "There's no bad news, that's not why I'm here. Just relax."

Bella nodded and took a deep breath. She just didn't understand why the Promise was standing in her house.

Shailene eyed her with an entertained expression on her face. "At first glance, I never would've taken you for such a pessimist."

She laughed self-consciously. "Yeah, I never used to be one. Something happened a while ago and it brought on this perma-hysteria."

"Ah, your fall from grace," she said, nodding in understanding.

Bella wanted to bury her head in the sand like an ostrich. Even the royals knew about how the _glymera _had cast her out.

"I only know because of this special little thing I do," Shailene said quickly. "You don't have to worry that it 'got back to me'."

"Special thing?" Bella asked to distract herself and hopefully Shailene from the ugly dredged up memories.

"Whenever I touch someone for the first time, this annoying thing happens where I get to see their whole life's story."

"Oh…wow." That didn't make her feel any better.

"You don't need to be embarrassed," Shailene assured her. "The _glymera_ are a bunch of jackasses. The Virgin knows I can barely stand them whenever I have to be around them." She rolled her eyes.

Bella laughed in spite of herself. She'd always imagined the Promise to be perfectly proper and the pinnacle of _glymera_ behavior. But she wasn't anything like that. She was actually…normal. Aside from being glorious-looking and as fierce as a tiger and having an all-round kick-ass personality.

"You're not at all like I expected you to be," Bella blurted out.

She laughed again. "I get that a lot. But I guess when you're basically raised by and spend most of your time with improper males who have no regard for the comfort of a female, they tend to rub off on you."

Bella laughed, too. She knew a little about that.

"Okay, so no bad news. To what do I owe the honour of having you here?" she asked.

If it was possible for Shailene to glow anymore, she did with the smile that lit up her face this time.

"I am here to give you an invitation," she said brightly. "Rhage and I are getting mated."

"Rhage, the warrior, Rhage? Your _ahstrux nohtrum_, Rhage?" she asked.

Shailene nodded like it was Christmas morning. "Yes."

"Wow, that's amazing!" Bella exclaimed, but then something struck her. "Wait, where is Rhage? Isn't he supposed to be with you everywhere you go?"

Shailene smiled devilishly. "He's out fighting the good fight. Technically, he's supposed to be with me right now, but I'm a bit of a rule breaker." She winked co-conspiratorially. "Anywho, we're getting mated tomorrow night at midnight and we'd love it if you were there," she said enthusiastically.

"Me? You want me there?" Bella asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. Duh."

Bella was flabbergasted. "But why?"

"Well, John's going to be there, and I think it would make him more comfortable if you were there with him. Plus, it would mean a lot to me if you came."

Well what could she say to that? The freaking Promise was inviting her to her mating ceremony. The thought of refusing wasn't even an idea in Bella's head.

"So…will you come?" Shailene asked into the silence.

"Of course," Bella stuttered. "It would be an honour."

* * *

As Mr. M was driving down Route 22 to another _lesser_ pow-wow, something caught his eye, and when he realized what it was, he couldn't believe them.

The Promise. She was there.

He wasn't sure why he noticed it. It was only a woman standing at the door of a house, waiting to be let in. Then the door opened, and another let her in. Nothing out of the ordinary there, so what was it about that scene that made him stop?

He wasn't sure but he didn't care. The point was, he'd found the Promise again. He was sure it was her, even though she was hundreds of feet away. He'd found her, by chance maybe, but what-the-fuck-ever.

The instinct to break into that house and take her out right then and there was strong. Very strong. Almost too strong. But he had to get control of himself. He wasn't sure how many vampires were in that house, or if those over-muscled, shit head Brothers were around. It would be sure suicide to go storming in there with no backup.

So he'd play it cool. He made a mental note of the address and would make sure to have someone come back and capture the person—be it vampire or human—that lived in that house. Whoever they were, the Promise was visiting them, which meant that there was a relationship there, which meant that they might have found someone new, someone more useful, to pump for information on their race.

He drove on to the _lesser _meeting. He would make sure someone was on top of the house situation. He wasn't going to tell anyone else about the Promise, though. That was his project, and he didn't want anyone finding out about her and catching her first. If that happened, then he wouldn't get a chance to play with her the way he wanted. It would be a tragedy for someone if they got in the way of their fun.

* * *

**A/N: **So that's that. The Scribe Virgin approves, Hansen is furious, and Mr. M is closing in. Sorry I wasn't able to fit it the mating ceremony in this chapter, but it just didn't make sense to me put it here. It's coming, I swear! Shailene and Rhage just had a few things to sew up before they could get on with the ceremony.

I hope it was clear to everyone who the song from the beginning was for. It was for Hansen. I just wanted to make sure we're all clear.

Again, special mention to Bilba0691 for her suggestions for the chapter. She wanted to see a little fist between Rhage and Hansen and I didn't know if I should've done it until I read her PM. Thanks for being such a loyal reader.

To the rest of my commenters, messagers, favourite-ers, and alerters: thank you all as well! Now you see that your opinions and ideas are welcome and considered. If there is anything you want to read about in my story, please let me know. Comment!

Until we read again…


	15. Chapter 15: Preparation

**A/N: **Jeez, it's been a long time. I've got to be the worst updater and I'm sorry about that, but I don't really have an explanation for you, just that I've been really busy. I hope you haven't forgotten about me.

This chapter is a huge step the best direction, but we haven't reached our destination yet. Almost there though. The song chosen for this installment is "I think I'm Ready" by Katy Perry. Originally I chose "Marry Me" by Train. I love both songs, they're really pretty and lyrical and just beautiful. In the end I just decided Katy's song was a better fit. "Marry Me" is great, but makes more sense for the actual wedding. It's from back when Train used to make good music (Oh snap! No I didn't! Yes I did ;) ) Now I feel like they've sold out a bit. Oh, well, that's just my opinion. But I digress. Here's "I think I'm Ready".

I Think I'm Ready

I'm used to opening my own doors, and splitting the checks.  
He introduced me; was always just a friend.  
I bought a new dress. He never noticed.  
Always falling for these bad boys, such a challenge.  
I'm getting tired of cleaning up after them.  
I think I'm ready to be a woman.

Oh love…  
I think I'm ready, ready for it.

You were such a surprise, an unexpected gift.  
Said I was pretty and I believed it.  
Not really used to all this attention.  
Told myself I don't deserve you and this was just a phase,  
Could I get used to being loved the right way?  
I want to argue, but there is nothing to say.

Oh love…  
I think I'm ready, ready for it.  
(Ready for it)  
Oh love,  
I think I'm ready…

Cause you send me flowers when there's no occasion.  
Yeah, we talk for hours, you still want to listen.  
Won't hold it against me if I just need you to  
Hold me tonight.

My mother always told me that you'd show up one day.  
So scared to feel this way,  
But love,  
I think I'm ready, ready for it.  
(Ready for it)  
Oh love,  
I think I'm ready, ready for it.  
(Ready for it)  
Oh love…  
I think I'm ready…

What a beaut. I'd like to give special mention to "You and Me" by Penny and the Quarters and, of course, "Marry Me" by Train. Okay here, we go.

**Disclaimer: **Majority of these characters are not mine. I just like to pretend.

Chapter 15: Preparation

Rhage hadn't gotten much sleep. But that didn't bother him. He would much rather spend his days staring at Shailene, watching her, protecting her, just being with her. It didn't matter if they didn't talk. It didn't matter if they didn't have sex. All he needed was to be near her, and soon enough, they would be together all of the time, and not just as guardian and charge.

Tonight was it. The mating ceremony where he would make her his forever, in front of everyone who was important to them, was tonight.

To Rhage, this felt like a long time coming. It was as if he'd always been in love with her, and in some ways he guessed he had been. It was amazing to him that Shailene, the Promise, chose him. Out of all the people she could have, all the people who were probably better suited for her, she wanted him. Only him.

And no one else.

A part of him felt bad for that fact, or rather for the way it affected a certain person. In truth, Rhage had never been too fond of Hansen, but that didn't mean he wanted to see the male miserable. He knew what it was like to lose Shai and remembered how he'd felt when the roles were reversed. Shailene was everything to Hansen and now that was gone. Of course Rhage may have felt a lot more sympathy towards the male if he hadn't had the nerve to try to put doubts in Shailene's head, but he still pitied the male for what he was going through now. Maybe he even emphasized a bit, not that he would ever admit it.

Rhage would never apologize for being the one that Shailene fell in love with. He would never feel sorry that they were going to be together. Being the one that she chose was all he ever wanted and now that he had her for himself, he would never give her up.

He looked down at her. He was on his side and she was on her back, tight in the crook of his arm, her head at his chest level, both of them covered by only the thinnest of sheets. He loved watching he sleep. He loved listening to her moan or sigh his name in her slumber. She looked so peaceful and happy, like she felt safe and he liked to think that she might feel that way because she knew that he was there watching over her. Her hair was wild and spread out over the pillows and down her chest, just obscuring her breast. He stroked the strands from her face, then brushed her cheek with his forefinger. He smiled when she turned her face into his hand. He did this a lot, just staying awake watching her, petting her. She mumbled something and rolled over onto her stomach.

He closed the space between them and looked at the new part of her body she'd exposed to him. He'd spent the better part of the day studying her body. Again. He especially amused himself by tracing every tattoo ever so gently, from the royal linage on her neck and shoulder, to the small moon at the base of her spine, to owl on her ankle, his most recent discovery. He paid the most attention to her back, though. He loved her back, loved the smooth expanse of skin it provided. He loved sexy the royal tattoo that stretched from her neck all the way to her right shoulder and the small moon tattoo at the small of her back. Staring at her body, he couldn't resist touching her again.

As his fingers traced mindless patterns over her skin, she began to stir.

"Rhage," she said quietly, her eyes never opening. "What are you doing?"

"Admiring you beautiful body," he answered immediately.

"It's just my back," she murmured, sounding confused.

"I know," he replied. "I love your back. You have beautiful back. It houses a lot of strength." He bent down to kiss her spine. "And it provides the perfect canvas for me."

She smiled, eyes still closed. "Canvas, huh? Are you drawing a picture?"

"More like writing a message," he told her.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Well, tonight is the night where we will be…" He trailed off as he wrote the word invisibly on her back.

Her smiled grew wider and she sounded excited as she answered. "Mated."

He smiled in turn. "That's right. And everything from this point on is going to be…"

"Perfect," she answered.

"Right again. And when we're mated, we'll be able to spend all our time…"

"F-U—" She gasped and her eyes flew open and she propped herself up on her forearms. "—are horrible!" she finished, flopping onto her back and covering her face with a pillow.

He was quick to get rid of the damn thing that was hiding her from him and replace it with himself. As they kissed, their bodies melted together, a sure sign of two lifelong lovers. He could feel her excitement as their lips and bodies moved together. He wasn't the only one about to come out of his skin with eagerness.

"I take it you're as excited as I am," he asked when they broke the kiss. He was still hovering over, his arms wrapped around her delicate frame and his face just inches from hers.

Her smile was like the sun. "Of course I'm excited. We're getting mated tonight."

"And because of the special occasion, I have something for you."

He rolled off of her reluctantly and went over to his bedside table. In the bottom drawer there was a black velvet box that he'd had Fritz go pick out for him the night before.

"Here you are, M'lady," he said as he presented her the box.

She gave him a dirty look before giving her attention to what he put in her lap. When she looked at the big square velvet clad box, she gasped.

"Rhage whatever is, you shouldn't have done it."

He smiled at the breathless, slightly excited tone of her voice. "I know that, but I wanted to. Open it."

She lifted the lid of the Marcus Reinhardt Jewelers box and gasped louder as she saw what was inside it. The necklace he'd picked out for her was nothing too fancy. It was a simple ten carat row of small green emeralds, held together by delicate silver links.

Her eyes were swimming when she looked back up at him. "You…you…you big dummy!"

"You don't like it?" he asked humorously. "I guess I could take it back—"

She punched his stomach as he was reaching for the box and grabbed it into her hands.

"Rhage, I love it, it's gorgeous!"

He tried to be happy about the enthusiastic tone of her voice, but he was too busy trying to pull air into his lungs. The hit to the gut surprised him and knocked the breath out of him and he sputtered as he tried to respond her.

He wanted to say something romantic and mushy and sissy to make her feel even more special, but instead, all that came out was a ragged, "I think you broke my rib."

She smiled at him. "Really?

Her hands went to his should and she pushed him down gently, hovering over him as she did. He instantly forgot about the pain.

"I did? Which one? This one?" she asked as she pressed her lips to his rib cage. He let out a heavy exhale at the pleasure he always felt when her lips were on his skin. "Or was it this one?" She continued kissing each of his ribs individually, and then when she reached the last one, there was a dull flash of pain.

"Hey!" he growled as she bit him. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her up to his level, flipping them over and kissing her until they either had to separate for breath or risk suffocation. Rhage probably would have taken that risk if it didn't mean that Shai would be taking it as well.

He pulled back, reluctantly of course, and just stared.

"I love it," she whispered. "I'll always wear it. And every time you see me wearing it, you'll know that no matter what happens, I'll always come back to you. Always."

"Tonight we're going to be mated," he whispered. "And then there's nothing that can keep me from you again." He took her hand and placed it over his heart. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," she breathed. Then she smiled mischievously. "Now what was it you were saying we could do once we were mated?"

He growled as he kissed her neck over the various bite marks adorning it. "I think you know."

"Would you totally hate reminding me?"

He didn't respond as he went to work on her. What a silly question. As if he would ever grow tired of showing her how much he loved her.

* * *

"Hansen?" he heard her call quietly.

What the hell was she doing here?

After what had happened last night, he hadn't expected to see Shailene so soon, or ever. He almost hoped for the latter. Everything that needed to be said had been said. Shai didn't love Hansen. She didn't want Hansen.

She wanted _him_.

With that thought reoccurring, he felt another piece of his heart fall into oblivion, most likely never to be seen again. But that was okay. If he couldn't have Shailene, there really was nothing more for him to love.

She stepped into his view and even with all the anger and apathy he was feeling, he couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was in just a casual pair of jeans and a short sleeved turtle neck. God, even after everything, she still made him swoon like a lovesick teenager.

He really was pathetic.

"Why are you here?" he asked flatly before taking a swig from the bottle in his hand. He'd been drinking since she'd left last night, and at this point he wasn't even sure what he was drinking anymore. He was barely aware of reality. With any luck, he would stay that way.

"How long have you been drinking that?" she asked quietly.

"Since you left with your _lover_," he said scathingly, making her sigh. "I probably shouldn't do this to myself. I know I'll regret it later." He took another sip. "Speaking of grave mistakes, shouldn't you be off making one of your own? I thought you'd be preparing for your ceremony by now."

She nodded. "I should be," she agreed, clearly deciding to answer his question, but ignore the comment. "But do you really think I would leave things this way between us?"

"I don't see why not," he muttered. He meant to take another swig, but the bottle wasn't in his hand anymore.

Shailene had it. "Cut the shit, Hansen," she commanded, surprising him. "Enough with feeling sorry for yourself."

"Feeling sorry for myself?" he reiterated. "You have no idea what I'm feeling." After all, no one had ripped her heart out and ground it into the dirt.

"Actually, I do, I can feel your emotions like they're my own."

"So than how can you tell me to get over it?" he demanded. "For years, it was just the two of us. You and me, leaning on each other, and in one night, _you _managed to erase all of it!" he shouted, stalking towards her. "Everything we ever had, whether it was love, or friendship, now means nothing."

"How can you say that?" she demanded. "What, do you forget everything? Do you think I forget? Because I remember the first time you fed me while I was going through transition. I remember how you held my hand the whole way through." She looked him in the eye as she spoke, but it hurt him to hear her bring up all these old memories because he remembered them, too. He remembered all the hope he'd had back then, all the love that already had been driving him to do what he needed to do for his female.

"I remember how much I loved you for saving me," she whispered. "I loved you, do you understand that?"

"Not enough, clearly," he sneered like a petulant child. "You fell for his tricks just like every other female he's ever known."

"I can't believe that after everything we've been through together, you can be so horrible to me," she whispered. "It's still me, Hansen."

"No, it's not," he refuted. "You're not the same female from before."

"Then why are you so damn torn up about this?" she inquired harshly, and for that he had no answer.

"Hansen, I'm still me," she whispered. "I'm still Shai."

She walked right up to him and took his hands. "I'm the same female you knew from her transformation and on, the one who clung to you for years after. The one who still relies on you now." She brought his hands up to run them up along her smooth, beautiful neck. He was so familiar with this part of her. He was so familiar with all of her, and it hurt him to be touching her in a way so intimate to their kind, but he was helpless to stop her.

"I'm the one you kissed." She pressed those luscious lips to the knuckles of one of his hands. "I'm the one you serviced." He closed his eyes as she did it again, keeping the other hand on her neck, trying to fight the memories. "I'm the one you fed from. The one who fed from you." She bit him softly.

"Stop," he pleaded raggedly. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I want you to know that I remember," she said passionately. "I want you to know how much it meant to me, how much it still means to me and that it always will mean something to me." She held his face. "I love you, Hansen, I do."

"Don't say that," he begged, wishing he could get away from her and wanting to stay with her forever, hoping he could forget her, but knowing he never would. "It's not true."

"It's true. Just because I'm not _in_ love with you, doesn't mean that I don't care."

She let go of him, and he took the opportunity to scramble away from her, to get out from under her influence. He wished she'd stop saying that she loved him. He knew that she loved him, rationally, but no matter how true that was, it would never be the way he wanted. The way he needed.

When he stumbled back to his bed and sat on it, she joined him, but kept he distance, not touching him, for which he was grateful.

"I remember just before my transition, you were talking about love, and how it makes everything okay," she reminisced softly. "I remember telling you that it was all bullshit." She laughed. "I said, 'I love my brother, but that doesn't make my parents' death any better'. You told me that when I find the right kind of love, it will make everything better."

"Even death," he whispered, remembering with her.

"That's right." She nodded.

"You were right," he conceded, laughing humorlessly. He felt the type of love that was supposed to make everything _better_ and it was killing him right now.

She laughed again. "I was pretty sure I was right, too. Three hundred years later and all the pain still hadn't gone away. But I was wrong." She looked at him. "Hansen, you were right. Love really makes everything worth it. You were right. You just weren't right about me.

"It'll come for you, Hansen," she said devotedly. "I believe that. You're going to find a female who will make you wonder what was so great about me anyway."

He found that hard to believe. Or rather impossible. He'd been around for longer than her, and he'd seen a lot of females, and none of them came close to capturing his interest the way Shai did. She was it. He was hers forever.

"But Shai," he whispered brokenly. "I love _you_."

"I'm sorry, Hansen," she apologized, and got up to leave. "I'm getting mated tonight at midnight. I won't blame you for not coming, but it would mean a lot to me if you did." She leaned in and kissed his cheek, so softly and sweetly that he almost grabbed her and begged her not to do this. But he didn't. This was her choice. This was what she wanted, and if he loved her, he was going to have to let her be happy, with whoever made her happy, even if it wasn't him.

"I really hope you come," she said softly, before vanishing once again from his sight, and forever from his grasp.

* * *

"M'lady!" Fritz exclaimed when he caught sight of her trying to take a full ham out of the oven. "Just what do you think you're doing?" he demanded.

"I think I'm trying to help with my mating ceremony," she responded as she put the roasted ham on the counter.

"Absolutely not," he said adamantly. Even though she was arguably the most powerful vampire in existence, she was always slightly intimidated by Fritz when he got into his I'm-not-messing-around moods. She knew his rules: she wasn't to touch _anything_ if it meant helping to prepare for tonight. To her it didn't make sense; everyone else, _doggen_ and vampire alike, was running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to prepare for this thing. Why couldn't she? She was the _freaking Promise_ after all, she should be able to do what she wanted. But that wasn't the _doggen_ way.

"Fritz, you can't expect me sit around and do nothing," she reasoned. "It is my mating day. I should help."

"With all due respect, M'lady, I most certainly can think that you are to sit around and do nothing," he said, pushing her out of the kitchen. "You're not to lift a finger today."

She sighed. If she really wanted to, she could have argued and gotten her way, but she didn't have the will to fight right now. It wasn't even about helping with the ceremony, what she wanted was something to keep her mind and body busy. She would have started crocheting if she had the hook handy.

Truth was, she was nervous. Like, about to throw up butterflies, nervous. And if she couldn't do anything but sit and stare at a wall, she'd either pull her hair out or pace a hole in the ground. You know, just for something to do.

She knew she wanted to mate Rhage. There was no question of it and the moment he had asked her, she'd known. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, not just as charge and guardian, but as mates, _shellan _and _hellren_, equal lovers. She was certain that this was what she wanted

So why did she feel like she was about to jump out of her skin?

Maybe it was the uncertainty of the future, which was something she hadn't had to worry about in a long time. She didn't know how this mating would affect her calling, or Rhage's. Would they be distracted? Would they be so wrapped up in each other that they let things slip through their careful guard? What if it messed with the chemistry of the Brotherhood?

Somewhere in the back of head she realized she was being ridiculous. Really, what would be so different then from how they were now?

Maybe it was Hansen. She didn't regret anything she'd ever done with Hansen. She didn't regret all the centuries they'd serviced each other, whether it was about blood or her needing periods. She wouldn't take back all the time they had spent together, even in the beginning when they had tried to make some sort of real romantic relationship work. She wouldn't trade Hansen for anything.

No, she didn't regret anything that had happened between them for one second. Including when she told him to let her go.

For her, it was simple really. She cared a lot about Hansen, but she loved Rhage and she needed him. The last thing she wanted was to hurt Hansen, but when you have to tell your oldest friend that you knew he was in love with you and that you were getting mated to someone else despite that fact… well some feelings were bound to get hurt. She truly hoped that Hansen would be able move on. She knew he would, but she just hoped it didn't take another three hundred years for it to happen.

As she came out of her introspective state, she realized that she was in the second floor sitting. It was a good thing she never did any serious thinking outside the mansion, because one day she would end up on the other side of the state.

"Beautiful," her favourite voice said from behind her.

She turned around with a smile on her face. "You talking to me?" she asked her soon-to-be _hellren_.

"Of course." He went over to her and gave a surprisingly chaste kiss.

"You look like you're about to pull your hair out," he murmured when they parted. "You're not thinking about ditching me are you?"

"Absolutely not," she answered immediately. "I can't wait to mate you."

"Then what's wrong?" he asked softly. "And don't even think about saying you're 'fine'."

"I'm just nervous," she answered. "This is a pretty big change."

"The Promise is nervous?" he asked incredulously with a chuckle.

She hit his arm softly. "You're telling me that you're completely comfortable with getting mated?" she asked skeptically. "I know how males are. Shouldn't you be worrying in the back of your mind that your single bachelor days are over and now you're stuck with one broad forever and all that crap?" she asked, admitting to herself that maybe she sounded a little bitter.

He laughed a bit at her harsh sentiment. "I thought you'd be a little nicer on our mating day. But to answer your question, no, I am not the least bit uncomfortable with getting mated."

"Really?" she questioned, still skeptical.

"Really," he said adamantly. "Other males might get cold feet, or whatever that dumb ass expression is, but other males don't get to mate you."

He smiled when she rolled her eyes. "Just promise me that when this is all over, you'll take me back to our condo and not let me leave for a full week, alright?"

"That's the plan," he growled against her lips. She barely had time to smile before he attacked her lips again.

She kissed him back, welcoming his advances because it was something she knew how to respond to properly. When his tongue delved into her mouth, she knew that. When his hands traveled along her hips, it was familiar to her. When she felt herself being pressed against a wall, she let it happen. And with every move he made, her responses were natural.

"I love you," he growled against her lips as he ground his already hard arousal into her stomach. "So fucking much."

She only had time to breathe his name before he was kissing her again.

Maybe they were getting carried away. At this point, his hand was up her shirt, traveling the path towards her breast while her legs were wrapped around his waist and her hands yanked at his hair. When his hand made contact with her feminine flesh, they both moaned, none too quietly.

And that's when they heard someone clear their throat.

They both looked towards the entrance where they saw a flash of perfect red hair as the owner leaned against the entrance frame.

"Don't let me interrupt," Wellsie said casually, a smug little grin on her beautiful face. "I only came to tell you, Shai, that we should start getting ready, but clearly this is more important."

Shai ducked her head into Rhage's shoulder. "You know, Wellsie, I haven't seen you in a long time, and surprisingly, I haven't missed you at all."

"Say what you want about me, Shai," she replied. "But if you plan on getting mated tonight, and looking half decent while you do, we need to go now. I'm doing this for you."

"She's right," Shai sighed, looking at Rhage and disentangled herself from him.

"I know she's right," he grunted, clearly not happy with the interruption and the pending separation.

"I'm always right," Wellsie interjected.

"Okay," Shai breathed. She gathered all her hair onto the top of her head, only to let it fall back into place as she took a long, slow deep breath. "Okay, I'll see you down there."

He leaned in to give her one last goodbye kiss, before he stalked out of the room, grumbling under his breath.

When they were alone, Wellsie turned to Shai and held out her arms.

"I haven't seen you in forever and you're just going to stand there?" she asked patronizingly.

Shai didn't waste time getting into her best friend's arms. It had been way too long since she'd seen Wellsie, but times had been busy—for both females.

They made their way up to Shailene's bedroom and Wellsie closed them in together.

"How are you?" Shai asked immediately.

"I'm doing well," Wellsie answered.

"How are you adjusting? With John with you and the baby coming, it's got to be a lot."

"It's surprisingly easy," she said, sounding honest. Then she pegged Shai with a stern look. "Thanks for heads up on John, by the way."

Shai held her hands up as a peaceful gesture. "I told Tohr as soon as I knew."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Well how is it?" Shai pressed. "What's it like…being a mom?" Shai couldn't even imagine.

"John is…perfect," she nearly cooed. Her face took on a dazed, indulgent expression. "He's such a great kid, he's sweet and smart and thoughtful. When I think of all the things he went through…" She shook her head disdainfully. "I'm already so protective of him. I want to kill anyone who's ever hurt him."

Shai breathed a relieved sigh at hearing Wellsie talk like that about John. "So you like having him around?" It was pretty obvious at this point but she'd been worried that Wellsie wouldn't take well to having a new addition to her home when she was already expecting another one to begin with.

"I love him, Shai," she emphasized. "We both do. I don't need to tell you how hard it can be, having the male you love more than anything being in the Brotherhood," she said, referring to Wrath. "Being the mate to a Brother, you have to learn to do your own thing and be independent. I didn't realize how numb and desensitized to the loneliness I was until it was taken away. It's really nice having John around. I can't see my nights without him."

"You're in full mommy mode, aren't you?" Shai teased. She put a hand on her small but protruding stomach. "Good practice for you, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess."

She didn't sound so excited anymore.

"Is everything okay with the young?" Shai asked.

"I'm fine, we're both doing just fine. I've been doing everything Havers has told me and so far, so good."

"But…"

She sighed. "Tohr is still freaking out," she finally said.

"Ah." Shailene could understand. Pregnancy was a huge issue for the race. It's not that females had trouble getting pregnant but carrying a young to full term wasn't as simple. The whole pregnancy process was incredibly risky, and there were a number of things that could go wrong, resulting in both the life of the female and the young. Not to mention the complications in actually _giving_ birth. That was a whole other problem.

To a bonded male, his female was everything. And that does mean _everything_. Without her, the male is nothing. Put that together with the fact that pregnancy can kill the female…well it's safe to say that a male would rather cut of both balls if it meant not having to put up with the risk.

It was no surprise that Tohrment would be worried about Wellsie. There were too many complications, too much potential for her to take a drastically wrong turn. Shai herself was worried about the other female, but she knew how much Wellsie wanted this. Plus, Wellsie already had Tohrment breathing down her neck; she hardly needed Shai to help. What she needed Shai for was to act as the supportive friend, so that's what she would do.

"He'll come around," Shai offered, rubbing Wellsie's belly softly. "Once this is over, you'll all be one happy family."

"I know we will," she murmured, smiling down at her stomach. The look was one of absolute adoration.

"Speaking of families," Wellsie said, turning her attention back to Shai, "It looks like you're next in line."

Shai looked away, trying to hide her smile. "I guess I am." Though she doubted it.

"You know, to tell you the truth, I kind of always saw this coming. You and Rhage I mean."

"You did?" Because she didn't. And future was kind of what she specialized in.

"Yeah, I did. I'm just upset that you never called to talk to me about this. I understand from Beth, you've been more than a little conflicted." Her stern voice was back. Wellsie would make a great mom, what with how well and often she used that tone.

"I didn't want to bother you," Shai reasoned. "You have John now, and the young—"

"Oh, shut up with that," Wellsie dismissed. "You could have come to me, Promise. So now let's make up for lost time. Tell me everything."

Shailene dived head first into how this development between her and Rhage started. She started at the beginning, when Wrath had slightly lost his mind and assigned her an _ahstrux nohtrum_ and the fight that had caused. She told her about the night at ZeroSum and how they had patched each other up after and traded stories from the past. She told her about waking up in his bed to find him freaking out on the floor and then on she fed on him an hour later, glossing over the hand-job-almost-sex-that-her-_hellren_-had-saved-them-from, but she did include the little outing and how that had been the night that sealed the deal. She went over the night at her condo with the piano and the talk with Beth and then Rhage's injuries because he'd had her on the brain. She even stumbled her way through the evening after that, and how they'd spent the beginnings of it before everything imploded. Wellsie wasn't happy to hear about Rhage's experiment at the club, and Shai even feared for Rhage's life based off of the expression on her face. She filled Wellsie in on the fighting, especially that moment in the gym, and then how weeks after that he jumped into her shower and finally won her over. She explained the proposal and the talk with Wrath from the previous night, which all brought them to now.

"Wow," Wellsie breathed when it was over.

"Yep," Shai agreed. "We've been through a lot in our short time together, but Wellsie, I've never been happier."

"What about Hansen?"

That sobered her. Of course. "He's not taking it well. If I had to guess, I'd say he's drinking himself into a coma right about now."

"That's horrible," Wellsie commented.

Shai didn't respond but she wholeheartedly agreed. She sensed that she would always feel guilty over what she'd done to Hansen, but she couldn't live her life according to what other people wanted, not anymore. She was going to start thinking about herself a little now and what she wanted. And she wanted Rhage.

She told Wellsie as much.

"Good for you," Wellsie approved. "I always did think you were a little too self-sacrificing."

"I'm the _freaking_ Promise, as everyone so eloquently puts it," Shai surmised. "It's kind of my job."

"Whatever. Today is all about you. This is an important day."

Shai was sporting a lip splitting grin when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," she called.

It was Wrath and Beth. Beth's expression was as radiant as the sun, while Wrath's was a little more reserved, but the genuine happiness was still there. He was also carrying a black clothing bag. What could be in there? she wondered.

"Hey guys," Shai greeted them. She looked at Beth. "Can you believe a few months ago our positions were reversed?"

"I know, it's unbelievable," Beth agreed. "But I'm so happy for you. And your brother is, too, he's just more reluctant about it," she said, looking at the big, brooding vampire.

"I bet he is." Shai smiled at Wrath. "Watcha got there?" she asked him.

"A gift," he answered cryptically.

"You got me something?" she asked in surprise. "To wear?"

He chuckled. "If I had gotten you something to wear, it wouldn't be from me, it would be from Beth. I would just sign the card," he pointed out in typical Wrath fashion. "I've had this for a while."

"Open it," Beth urged.

_This should be interesting, _Shai thought as they laid the bag on her bed.

She unzipped it slowly, and came in view of the most spectacular dress she'd ever seen. It was a light ivory coloured, sleeveless, collared with a sweetheart neckline style dress. It would fit her whole body snugly until it got to about knee level where it flared out subtly. The satin had a lace overlay which was pretty, but the truly fantastic part was the back. It was sheer, something reminiscent of a floral pattern, but not quite, made out of crystals.

It was the dress of Shai's dreams. That is, in the very few times she'd seen herself getting mated, this is what she'd worn.

It had been so long since she'd seen it.

Her eyes immediately started to smart. "Wrath…" she said as she stared at it. "_Mahmen's _dress?"

He just nodded. "We used to catch you looking at it all the time when you were a young. It was the only girly thing that caught your attention growing up." He chuckled softly. "I know you always wanted to wear it."

"How…"

"It wasn't in our castle when we…lost everything," he euphemized. "I don't remember why, but she'd had it moved a while before. I just remembered it. Took a fucking fight to get it here in time, though," he said. "It was Beth's idea," he added gruffly.

"No, it wasn't," she denied.

Shailene could barely see the dress or anything else. At this point, her eyes were swimming with tears. She'd never been so touched in her life. "Wrath…it's amazing." She threw herself at him, holding him around his neck tight enough to hold cut of his air flow. "You have no idea what this means to me."

It took him a moment to return the hug, but when he did, he squeezed just as hard right back.

"Okay, so the dress is sorted," Wellsie said when they let each other go. "Let's get you mated."

Wrath made himself scarce when the beautification started. Beth and Wellsie ushered Shai into the shower, only allotting her ten minutes when she would have taken half an hour. They buffed and polished every surface of her body, dried and curled her hair, using diamond encrusted hair combs to pin it up so that it didn't take away from the back of her mother's dress.

When she was done, the two other females fussed over each other. To no one's surprise, they both ended up stunning as well, Beth in red scarf dress with a sweetheart neckline and a strap the came from the middle, and Wellsie I second-skin sapphire dress that criss-crossed at the back.

When they were done and had deemed her perfect, she was left barefoot and standing in front of a mirror.

"What do you think?" Beth asked.

She was speechless. She never thought this day would come, and had never cared if it didn't, but it was here, and she looked ready. She looked like she was ready to get mated.

"I'm going to take her lack of speech to mean that she loves it," Wellsie said.

Shai just nodded.

"I can't wait for him to see you," Beth gushed. "You're just so beautiful and he loves you so much, and just…oh, I'm so happy for you."

"I can't believe you're getting mated," Wellsie said softly. "I always knew you would, but now that it's here…" She turned away and dabbed at her eyes.

"Nothing's started and you're already crying?" Shai teased, trying to keep her own waterworks in check.

"No," Wellsie snapped half-heartedly. "It's these damn pregnancy hormones. They're all over the place."

"Thank you both," Shai said earnestly. "Wellsie, since I met you, you've always been there for me, and Beth, I don't think I would have made this past little while without you."

"Congratulations, Shailene," Wellsie said, but didn't get any closer to her. She had asserted earlier in the evening that no one was to touch Shai after she was finished, so that they didn't "ruin the masterpiece." "No one deserves it more than you," she finished.

Just then, there was another knock on the door. V popped his head a second later. When he saw that no females were naked, he opened the door all the way, and Phury and Butch stepped in with him.

"If you're all up here, who's getting things ready down there?" Wellsie asked. Did she sound slightly alarmed, or was the anxiety just getting her?

"That's why we're here," Phury explained quickly. The expression on Wellsie's face was none too friendly. "Everything's ready." He looked to Shai, a soft smile on his face. "We're ready for you."

Her chest just got a lot tighter.

"We better go check to make sure everything's right," Beth said, and they rushed out of the room.

That left her and her boys.

"So what do you guys think?" she asked. "It's kind of weird, right? Me, in this dress, all dolled up, about to get mated—"

"You are the most beautiful bride I've ever seen," Phury interrupted.

"Really," V agreed.

"Like, total babe material," Butch chimed.

She almost blushed. Almost. "Thanks guys."

Phury and Butch gave her one last smile, then headed back down.

"Everything's ready?" she asked V.

"Yeah. Wrath will be up in a minute to say some last words, probably have an awkward brother sister moment, and then you'll be ready to go."

She took another deep breath, probably her fiftieth one that night.

V cleared his throat. "You really do look nice," he said awkwardly.

"Thanks," she said. "What surprises you most? The fact I'm getting mated, or that _Rhage_ is?"

He chuckled. "Nothing of this surprises me," he said. "I saw this coming a long time ago."

"You had a vision?" she guessed.

He shook his head. "I didn't need one."

"Thanks, V," she said after a moment.

"For?"

"You know," she said nonchalantly. He just stared at her expectantly. "Are you really going to make me say it?"

"Yes," he said smugly. "It's not every day the Promise sucks up her pride."

She sighed exasperatedly and rolled her eyes. Sometimes he was a real pain in the ass. "Thank you, V," she bit out, "for always being there. For helping me through this. For knocking some sense into me."

"No problem," he replied. "You saved my life, so it's the least I could do." He sounded a little too self-satisfied for her liking.

She decided payback was in order. She approached him and before he could react, she wrapped her arms around him.

He went completely stiff. V didn't much like to be touched, but they'd long since gotten over that issue with each other. It still wigged him out, though.

It took him a moment, because he was so hopelessly male, but he eventually figured out that when someone hugs you, especially if it's someone you hold near and dear, it's customary to hug them back.

"I love you," she murmured.

He stiffened again, bringing a smile to her face. She couldn't see his face but she imagined he looked like he'd swallowed a gallon of vinegar.

"Me, too," he mumbled, almost unintelligibly.

"No, V," she scolded. "Say it. Say the actual words."

He didn't make a peep.

"Now, not later."

He mumbled something that sounded like "olive juice".

"What?"

"Jesus Christ!" he growled. "I love you, too. There. Are you happy?"

"Ecstatic," she laughed.

"Should Rhage be worried?"

She slapped his arm and pushed him away.

Luckily for him, Wrath showed up in that moment.

* * *

_What has he done to annoy her now?_ Wrath asked himself as Shai hit V in the arm and he started chuckling like a frickin' hyena.

"I'll see you down there." V guffawed all the way out of the room.

"What the fuck's his problem?" Wrath asked.

"He's just being a pain in my ass, so nothing new," she explained.

He nodded in understanding.

"Hey, um, is…you don't know if…"

"No," he said solemnly, wishing he had better news for her. "Hansen's not down there."

She nodded, looked down at her bare feet, and willed away the tears.

Wrath knew little about the situation with Hansen, just that she and Rhage had gone to tell him about the situation, and he went batshit crazy. He didn't know particulars, just that some nasty things had been said by Hansen, to them both.

Wrath didn't like that on her mating day, of all fucking days, his sister couldn't be fully happy because of that bastard. He'd always liked Hansen, always thought he'd treated her well, so he couldn't understand why he had reacted the way he had. Shailene shouldn't be thinking about him right now, she should be focusing on her happiness.

He put his hand under her chin, gently coaxing her to look at him. She was just a blur, but she was beautiful and strong and perfect and just…Shai. His sister. "You look beautiful," he said to her.

She made a face at him. "How do you know?"

He smiled. "I know you." His hand brushed down her cheek. "I haven't seen your face clearly in so long. I wish I could. Tonight of all nights, I wish I could."

He knew what she looked like as a full grown female because his eyesight had been less in the shitter back then, after her transition, than it was now. But when he pictured her, he saw her as the baby that was placed in his arms after she'd been birthed. He remembered the young girl with a knack for getting into trouble, just like he'd used to, who was so small that at the special balls their father used to throw she would have to stand on his feet when they danced. He thought of how she used to sneak into his room when he was asleep and crawl into bed with him, either to sleep or braid his hair when he was unaware because she knew it annoyed him.

He thought of the tiny thing in his arms as he ran out of a burning castle, and how every night after that he'd never let her out of his sight. He'd even stayed up well into the day to watch her sleep, just to make sure she was safe.

And now she was getting _mated_.

"If you could see my face, you'd know for sure that you're the best big brother I could have asked for. And I love you."

He wanted to crush her to him, but instead he just held her gently. He was happy that she was happy and he knew that Rhage would treat her right—for his sake he'd better. But he was not looking forward to letting her go, both physically and figuratively. Or maybe it was emotionally. Ah, fuck, he didn't know.

_She's not _going_ anywhere,_ he thought to himself, really hoping she wasn't listening in. _Get a fucking grip._

He couldn't help but think about their parents in this moment. He really wished they were here. He hoped they were proud of everything the two of them had become.

"I keep thinking of them," Shailene said into his chest, as if she was reading his mind but he suspected that in this moment, she wasn't. "I wish they were here."

"They are," he said adamantly. "And they'd be so proud of you."

She pulled away and smiled up at him.

He cleared his throat. "They're ready for you down stairs. Shall we?"

She took a deep breath, took Wrath's offered arm…

And he escorted her to the beginning of the rest of her life.

* * *

**A/N: **I know, I know, no mating ceremony yet. Next chapter for sure! I'm pretty sure that Shailene's dress does not fit the description of what dresses looked like centuries ago. We'll just pretend that Vampire fashion was way ahead of human time. Or better yet, we'll all just believe in artistic licence, yes? Okay.

Thanks to those who have been reading and alerting. It really means a lot.

**Links to what Shailene's Dress on my profile if you're interested :)**


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